Bad fuckin burrito, man. (871 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.29 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Dole <robotgod80.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-12 14:26:09 EST
Have you ever had food so bad that after finishing the meal, you have to qestion your faith?
Have you ever had food so bad that when someone walks into the room carrying a dish of said food, the average life expectancy of the people in that room plumets?
Have you ever had food so bad that a loved one who prepares this food could be banished from society for making it?
Have you ever had food so bad it looks like something the cat WOULDN'T drag in?
Have you ever had food so bad that a starving ethopiean's starving dog wouldn't be fed this crap?
If not, then I give you-
-----------------The Breakfast Burrito---------------
This lethal mix of dog-shit, meat, eggs and cheese wraped in flour, have been combined to form what
must be the worlds worst invention. McDonalds has been serving this craptacular shit-cake for quite
some time now, and every now and then I'll get it in my head that i'll want to try one of these
things. Better logic usually prevails.
(borrowed concept from Jonukah)
Brain: Youre not gonna eat THAT?
Computer: Warning, biological hazard!!!
Me: "I'll have a breakfast burrito and a coke, please..."
I said usually. This morning, for some ungodly reason, i forked over my $0.80 to the highschool dropout behind the counter and ordered this- this- abomination. Taco bell should be allowed to firebomb any McDonalds serving this creation for it is an offense to constrew a real burrito with the steaming tube of lamma feces that was served to me today. I took one bite. Fournately for me I was in my car with the window open, and i was able to spit out the offending matter. Unfortunately for an oncoming car, I was driving on the highway. I hurled the horrible alien food-stuff out the window with all my strength, over the left most lane, over the concrete barrier, over the first oncoming lane, and SPLATT. Yes, with 2 t's. The explosive decompression of the meat-juices inside the burrito made a lasting echoing sound. The burrito detonated across the windshield of this small Dodge Neon like a rocket propelled gernade against a tank. If that was YOUR car, I'm sorry... well, ok, no I'm not.
Hey, if the guy scrapped it off the window, he could always give it to this guy to sell:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/auction.html
Take this as a warning... avoid the dreaded breakfast burrito.
User Reviews
Submitted by CrazyCanuck (user info) at 2005-10-11 16:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, breakfast burrito is always bad.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2003-11-17 11:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks jonukah, i humbly apologise for the misuse of said trademark items.
side note- i wonder how many people search for their name and reply to posts that mention them in it...interesting i may have stumbled upon a new form of hit whoreing. Hey someone tell Kristy Swan, this may help her hit-whoring-campaign.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-13 01:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only found this post because I was looking for posts with my name embedded because I am a narcissistic bitch. However, 'tis a good post. +1 for content, and +1 for mentioning Strong Bad, the greatest villain there ever was. You will notice you didn't get +1 for my using my introspective dialogue format. Although it was used humorously enough, and I'm quite flattered, it was slightly misused. Brain does not contradict actions. Brain controls the actions, while Computer offers his analytical advice. The Computer part was done very well. But Brain would not have thought himself that eating the burrito was a bad idea, then went ahead and did it. I'm not sure if this reply is productive, or even legible, but I'm at that point of tired trying to finish an economic report that I have no idea what I am writing. My apologies. Still a good post, though.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2003-11-12 16:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Amazing how a single packet of picante sauce can turn it from detestful to delightful.
-Bus
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-11-12 16:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There's a place in DeKalb IL right outside of Northern Illinois University called Burritoville. It's location alone yields thousands of dollars in business as it's on the walk between the dorms and greek row.
Avoid the place like the plague. I swear they lace their tortillas with some strange laxative suitable for only elephants, because you'll get the shits for several days after dining at that fine establishment.
Made several trips out to NIU and once I made the mistake of dining at Burritoville, I'll never set foot in that zip code again.
Submitted by Lord Of The Drink <drew3133t.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-12 16:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Although disguisting to most people those shit rolls really have a way of curing a hangover...as long as you can stomach getting them down.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-11-12 14:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I must be nuts, because I like these darn things. Although, to be honest, you have to know the trick. The trick is to slather four or five packets of hot sauce on that puppy. That way, you can't taste anything but hot. Clean you right out.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-11-12 14:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate neons
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-12 14:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i had some Taco Bell for lunch that went through me like a laser.
now i'm paying dearly for that mistake.....
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-12 14:31:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i've made this same mistake so many times. well...like 3 times. But that's 3 too many times.
That is the worst invention: The breakfast burrito.