Townies, Simps, Goths and Geeks (2188 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.91 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tartpumper (View user info) at 2003-11-17 09:02:04 EST
I was reading a post earlier about preps, jocks, goths etc and Jericho said people in other countries wouldnt know what this all means:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069037054614915715#263527
I do know a little about this but you guys probably dont have a clue what a 'Simp' or a 'Townie' is so heres a little info:
Townies - The scurge of England at the moment. Townies are the most annoying little pricks you could ever encounter. They live on the outskirts of most towns in council flats and houses with their prostitute looking mum and their five brothers and three sisters. No dad, maybe mums boyfriend, but no dad. The kids are all step brothers and sisters and not many are complete family with each other.
Their dress sense is stereotypical and you could spot a towny from miles away. Their wardrobe consists of tracksuits. Yes, just tracksuits. This is then topped off with not trainers, but shoes. Rockport shoes which used to be cool until townies got hold of them. On the odd occasion they may have travelled (on the bus) to Liverpool market and bought a couple of fake, horozontilly striped, Lacoste jumpers and they will always have a cap perched on the back of their head.
They steal, fight, graffiti anyone or anything they can find or terrify old people in their search for entertainment. Basically they are usually 13-15 yr old kids who think they are 'hard' but its only because they hang around in big groups, usually outside the local newsagents.
Geeks - The international stereotype, everyone in the world knows what I mean when I say geek. This person was always silent and emotionless and always gets top marks. 80% of the time the geek has a side parting, glasses and lots of acne.
Pill Heads - These are the youngsters who do loads of pills at the weekend, usually also townies, but not always. These are the ones that cant hold a normal converstaion with you because their brain is fucked from continuse drug usage. They have usually done of bomb of speed as soon as they get up in the morning. Normally pale, thin and have bulging fast moving eyes. You wont see them in the canteen because they are saving money to a couple of 'E's that night.
Goths - Yep we have these as well. Attention seekers basically. Always cutting themselves and trying to beat the other goths into being the most depressed/weird looking. Some are only partial goths and just wear black but some are just laughable. They look like an extra from Resident Evil. I cant figure out why these people are like this but each to the own I suppose.
Simps - Everyone has been to school or college and had a Simp in their class. A Simp is short for Simpleton. A prime example is Timmy from South Park. When I was at school we had a guy in our class called John Paul Jarvis with learning difficulties and wherever he went, so did his helper. He really should never have been in our school because all he ever did was disrupt lessons and eat strange things people asked him to, in return for 10pence. The Simp is always the one who has a mental fit in the middle of a lesson, start screaming for no reason and have to be 'restrained'.
NB: Ive tried so hard to find a picture of a townie because I swear these people really are funny. All I can find is descriptions:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Townie&f=1
http://www.geocities.com/townyism/home.html
http://www.geocities.com/ash_fan83/eviltownies.html
User Reviews
Submitted by mYsterY (user info) at 2003-12-23 23:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Goths - Yep we have these as well. Attention seekers basically. Always cutting themselves and trying to beat the other goths into being the most depressed/weird looking. Some are only partial goths and just wear black but some are just laughable. They look like an extra from Resident Evil. I cant figure out why these people are like this but each to the own I suppose."
Cute, real cute....
Submitted by ruin (user info) at 2003-12-23 22:47:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for being in the majority of people who are too ignorant to notice the difference between ACTUAL gothic people and the teenage braindead twats who buy their clothes at capitalist clothing outlets and who listen to marylin manson, korn and other shit like that..
your average ACTUAL goth either makes their own clothes or buys from thrift/2nd hand shops, like me...
innovation and individuality you see...
p.s. for you americans: scallies are the jocks of britain, evil and stupid to the core, but they do have a genuine sense of soul even if they are completely full of SHIT and totally ignorant/self delusional about what doesn't fit into their world view.
they laugh you off if they consider you weak, most infuriating...
i'm glad i'm a psychopath and know how to scare them into thinking they are about to die... that's the swedish/irish blood in me you see...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-17 12:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scallies wear golf socks pulled over their 'trackies' with Rockport boots, Lacoste jumper and Burberry cap.
Classic scally/townie.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-11-17 10:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Do Townies still wear golf socks? I haven't seen that many since I stopped frequenting Leyland.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-17 10:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Native Floridians are in a class of freaks all their own.
Submitted by firefly at 2003-11-17 10:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.thepartygoers.com/index7.html
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-17 10:13:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PMJ-Right on with townies.
An alternate definition is the guys/gals I went to high-school with who are still hangin' in my hometown when I go visit my parents. They're the ones who are always sitting on the front porch of the loser who lives in a shit house on main street. They sit there and try to act like they've done something worthwhile. In my town, 'townie' success means working at the pickle factory (seriously), getting a position in the drywall industry, or dating the slut who thinks you're cool because you were rebellious enough to never attend school (too busy smoking shitty weed or getting tatoos). These people usually aren't aware that other countries exist, and refer to all returning classmates as 'college boys'. To my 'townies', all asians are called 'Chinese' or more often 'Chinks'.
But hey, someone has to do the hard, physical labor. If everyone had dreams of 'making it', then nobody would be there to repair my concrete basement floor that was damaged from all the gold bricks sitting on it.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-17 10:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A whole site dedicated to Townies (including pictures):
http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/
Another Townie site (check out the forums to witness the mentality of a Townie):
http://www.scallycentral.com/
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-17 10:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
www.geocities.com/chatham_girls/
oops
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-11-17 10:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Newsagents - an agent who sells the news, a newspaper shop
Canteen - dinnerhall or restaurant in a place of work or school that sells hot and cold food
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-17 09:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These people are from a town near where i live, but they are all over UK
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now define newsagents & canteen.
You people talk funny.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Arrrgh no face party is banned, I will look when I get home....
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Never heard the term "Simp" before, but the Towny one was pretty spot on.
Here's a little something I made earlier.
http://www.faceparty.com/toneh_duh_towne
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's strange, when in college/university we used the term townie as well, but it had a different meaning. Townies were the somewhat less fortunate boys/girls who lived in the town that surrounded our schools who were of the same age as the the school body but didn't go to the school because of either lack of funds, or lack of required intelligence (amny times a combination of the two). Somehow you'd meet these people on a drunk evening and make the mistake of giving them your number. For the next couple of weeks they would hound you trying to get invites onto campus to party with you. They were always trouble. Every so often, you'd get the invite to one of their parties, and you'd make the mistake of actually going only once. It would end up being at some run down shitty place, there'd be crappy white trash music (see limp biscuit) playing and a lot of either busch light or so equally awful beer to drink. Some fucker would always try and start a fight with you and your buddies because you were "Better" than him, and the evening would end with a gap toothed slore that no amount of alcohol could make pretty trying to give you a hand job while you played drinking games.
Ahh College....
Anyway, ya, that's what townie means to me.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your description was more than enough, no photos needed lol.
in the US, people that wear track suits all the time are called............
italians! hahahahahahahahahah (j/k)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot scallies.
Although you can probably lump them with the townies.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-17 09:05:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking townies.
Fucking, fucking townies.
Do my head in.
Proper.