Women: SHUT THE FUCK UP (34124 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.08 on 497 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <joe.momma.at.jm.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-18 19:38:30 EST
This message is for all the guys out there that wish women would just SHUT THE FUCK UP. Mouthy women are the scourge of the planet, they all run their big fat traps night and day. SHUT THE FUCK UP! We don't care how your day was. We don't care what so and so was wearing at work. We don't care what you heard about the girl from accounting (unless you heard she wants to have a threesome with us).
When you get home assume I've had a hard day and that I want a hot dinner ready for me to eat. I don't care if you had to work all day too, it's your fucking job to cook me dinner because you were born with the tits, MAKE MY DINNER! And don't talk to me about eating health food or counting calories, make me something with meat or be ready for a slap in the mouth. I don't give a shit about the recipe from Oprah's magazine with Tofu in it, so SHUT THE FUCK UP! After dinner don't sit down and watch TV with me do the fucking dishes (and guys what do you do if your dishwasher breaks down . . . slap her). After all, why do women have smaller feet? So they can stand closer to the sink.
But I digress, after you're done doing the dishes you are now permitted to talk, but the conversation must be one of the following things: 1) Honey can I get you a beer 2) Honey I'm going to do the laundry now 3) Honey remember the girl from accounting I told you about, she'll be here in five minutes. If what you are about to say is something other than the three things I've outlined here guess what . . . SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Guys, it's time to start reclaiming your manhood. Women have become way to opinionated after watching fat trouble makers like Barbara Streisand, Hillary Clinton and Susan Sarandon spew their manhating bullshit. All three of those cows should SHUT THE FUCK UP. Did you know that women even have the right to vote now?!? Where will it end? The problem is these fat, dyke-ass militant feminists are turning women against men and confusing them. By the way, how do you give a militant feminist an orgasim? Who gives a shit!
Men, it's time to say enough is enough. Scratch your balls in public. Farting, spitting and blowing snot rockets is not just for sporting events any more. We need to reclaim our weekends, we are not going shopping for curtains or end tables or girlie fucking decorations for the house on the weekends any more, that's when we are watching sports, playing sports, or talking with our buddies about sports at a sports bar, looking at college coeds in sports bras. The weekends are for sports, period and if you have a complaint I think you know what to do by now - SHUT THE FUCK UP!
We are no longer hiding our porn movies because every fucking guy has a collection of porn and there is no reason to lock it away anymore. From now on Anal Whores from Mars and Attack of the Butt Sluts is going to be right next to the Shawshank Redemption and Bull Durham. Also, every guy looks at computer porn and then has to become Bill Fucking Gates to figure out how to delete every link, picture, cookie, video file, temporary folder . . . AHHHH it's too much! If you don't like it - Knock, knock. Who's there? SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Guys let me hear your voices, speak out and women . . . SHUT THE FUCK UP!
User Reviews
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-10-02 13:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is Iambetteratit and I approve this message.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-10-02 13:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best. post. evar.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-02 07:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-28 22:34:39 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
This really is rather funny.
Whoops, forgot to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oi.
Shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2008-09-11 15:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Intelligent and well thought out.
Preach it brother....
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's appropriate that you read this because it is sage advice.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This really is rather funny.
Whoops, forgot to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
~MP4 (FO')
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a great question Orph, I've often wondered why it never made it to Bored At Work. It's a conspiracy.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-28 09:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't understand why this isn't number 1 on most viewed.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-13 09:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HIGHLY under-rated.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-13 08:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spectacular!!!11111
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-13 08:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-03 06:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Joe Momma: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 06:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-03 05:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think a woman should be both opinionated and strong... and still fucking cook for her husband, get him a beer and give fantastic blow jobs. A woman's strength comes not from being really really good at one thing, being a bitch for example, but from being good in all areas.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-03-09 08:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-08 18:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't mind cooking my man steak and bringing him beers. He's just that wonderful. Only thing is, he happens to be a better cook than I.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-09-11 03:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-11 02:53:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is (one of) the most mediocre post(s) in the history of ubersite
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-11 03:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is there are way to track that? this must be it. im not going to mess it up.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-11 02:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the most mediocre post in the history of ubersite
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I get it. You're a homosexual.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe this has a 0 rating.
Incidentally, it made me laugh.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
loki, why would you review this again? You already reviewed it several times in 2004. Are you looking for revenge you cunty shrew? HA HA HA HA
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I get it, you're 12.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nellypaal is a fucking faggot, but this is a work of art.
Submitted by icantsurf (user info) at 2006-03-06 03:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ya keep runnin' yo mouth I'm a gonna stick my dick in it
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-03-06 03:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
boring. learn how to cook... ur gonna need to know how.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2006-03-06 02:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Also, every guy looks at computer porn and then has to become Bill Fucking Gates to figure out how to delete every link, picture, cookie, video file, temporary folder ."
+2 for that fucking line. oh...my...GOD can i relate to that shit.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by gloop (user info) at 2006-03-02 03:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-02-17 20:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and again
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-02-17 16:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for "orgasim"
Other that that, it's a work of art!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-02-17 16:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-11-18 21:44:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Joe Average: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
And stop spamming my posts with links to your bullshit. You suck. If it can't stand on it's own, it can't stand at all.
If it's good, people will read it, but as it is, you'll develop a rep as a shit eating spammer whose posts suck.
Have a nice night.
----------------
meh
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-17 16:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
quit linkwhoring your shitty post, asshole.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-17 13:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant!
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2006-02-17 13:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like hate posts...
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how did the woman cross the road?
who cares, and what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the funniest shit i've ever read
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That was for that post, this rating is for this post. Can you grasp that seemingly easy concept?
The preggers post was funny, and yet untrue.
This post is just pathetic, just like you.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:15:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
one of the first posts I read on here. classic
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu, n00b
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:45:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious! Although I believe that preggers women are truly beautiful. Even if they're fat.
You are a fucking hypocrite and you just gave a +2 to a story about how Pregnant women are pigs.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/19325
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The truth hurts.
Well, it doesn't hurt ME but it definitely hurts a bunch of you shitforbrains.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a really pathetic and ugly waste of sperm and space.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha. 'Snot rockets'. That's a new one to me.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why do you keep +2ing your own posts, you fucking asswipe?
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAR HAR MYSOGINY HURR
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The old lemonparty trick. I respect your game.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU jackoff
By the way if you want to laugh check this out: www.lemonparty.org
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lick my asshole
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-02-17 10:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot how great this was!
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
classic uber.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh god, these were the days. I miss them.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-01-05 14:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hilarious
Submitted by Dr.Gonzo (user info) at 2005-12-02 16:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Overt sexism +2
"I don't care if you had to work all day too, it's your fucking job to cook me dinner because you were born with the tits"
Fucking Gold
I know this may be an old post, but hey, its new to me!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-02 16:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is what you should do:
Get a very large rusty pole. Fly to Africa and stab someone that has "teh AIDS" with said pole. Roughly insert rusty, AIDS smeared pole in your ass and push with the ferocity of a dog in heat. Repeat as necessary.
Submitted by BeavisChrist (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But...I agree.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:56:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
see what I did there?
Submitted by BeavisChrist (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And no one cares what you wrote about today!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-02 15:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is friggin' brilliant.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-18 11:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:32:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Another Fat Tony knock-off? Come on, we've got enough alters on this site.
----------------------------------
Dude, this was posted in 2003. It's more likely that Fat tony is this guy's knockoff.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is a fun read
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Another Fat Tony knock-off? Come on, we've got enough alters on this site.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ok it's funny. i admit it! but it still pisses off my feminist side.... because there are actually people like this out there.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's funny because it's so over-the-top.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what a lot of hits!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-18 10:02:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
may not agree but still funny
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The title alone is worth +2.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
have another fucktard.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yay obviously ghey menz struggling with their sexuality!!!!1
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA
Hilarious
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the first post I ever read on Uber.
Who pulled this one out of the bag?
-Dave
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-18 09:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-11-18 08:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be on B@W. Holy fuck, I've never laughed so much at a post on Uber.
Submitted by ezphilosophy (user info) at 2004-11-21 03:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BD <bbd121.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-09 02:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is gold
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LINK WHORE
Submitted by aliasjxc (user info) at 2004-07-16 09:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. You must be very lonely. Get off your ass and help with the housework, you lazy fucktard, and get rid of your archaic view of homelife. But then, you probably don't have the intelligence required to do laundry. It requires sorting and reading instructions.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-16 09:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder if I can get this back on most heated.
Submitted by THEBOB <thebob.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-21 20:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE YOU...
Attention fat bitches....CONTROL THE HOLE
noone cares, please kill yourselves, yes you the one who is sitting across the computer lab, lips flappin', DIEDIEDIE
Submitted by Jared Dake <Jivin2001.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-18 23:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you see my man, the truth is, women like to be treated this way. Believe it! All along that was thier fate, just some fuck-face femini's stepped in and changed some rules. But still, most gilrs like it, no, loev it!. Just why do you think the assholes always get them anyways?
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-01 09:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bah.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Guys let me hear your voices"
_______________________________
Gladly - you're a bigger fuckwit than I had previously considered possible. Grats.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
may a pox come upon your house
Submitted by tree at 2004-03-16 12:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
women can never just put a perfectly logical point forward they have to use
nobrainer verbal assults or nit picking all the time this show there level of I.Q
does'nt it. women never can and never will be able to take a serious ( or humor filled )
look at themselves I honestly dont beleive there primative brain can handle it
untill women can do this they will always lag behind
Submitted by Apollo at 2004-03-05 18:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to rip you off but somebody caught me. I hate the fact that I try to steal other people's work, but I'm a fucking lame ass.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-01 00:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-02-18 01:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS at 2004-01-28 02:35:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
why dont you SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CHAUVINISTIC PIG!!! how fucking dare you say that women are only good for washing you disgusting messes while you sit there scratching you fucking balls! women are far more competent and intelligent than men! women have every fucking right to say what they want, to do what the hell they want, and beat a guy if he gets in her way! why the hell not? men do it to us might as well pay them back! you're an inconsiderate bastard! do you talk to you mother that way! hopefully you're like 50 so you and your egotistical-chauvinistic-views will die with you leaving women to rule!!! i just want you to remember one thing...YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feel better, now? Good.
Now shut up and finish the laundry.
Submitted by The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge (user info) at 2004-01-28 16:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RATE MY NAKED PIC !!!!! http://www.ubersite.com/m/24263
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-28 12:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You live alone, don't you?
Submitted by Session_Kill (user info) at 2004-01-28 10:11:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to agree, that women at times try to pull more weight than they can. My example, the military, they fought for women civil rights to be equal as men, yet when they go to boot camp they have half the standard goals men have to meet to graduate. Seems real equal to me. Agian, it's like that with jobs. They get the same job, but need half the requirments. Sometimes I do wish they'd just shut the fuck up.
Submitted by NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS at 2004-01-28 02:35:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why dont you SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CHAUVINISTIC PIG!!! how fucking dare you say that women are only good for washing you disgusting messes while you sit there scratching you fucking balls! women are far more competent and intelligent than men! women have every fucking right to say what they want, to do what the hell they want, and beat a guy if he gets in her way! why the hell not? men do it to us might as well pay them back! you're an inconsiderate bastard! do you talk to you mother that way! hopefully you're like 50 so you and your egotistical-chauvinistic-views will die with you leaving women to rule!!! i just want you to remember one thing...YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-27 23:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SpikeGoddess, just for the record this was only my second post ever and I did it back in November (I don't know why it's back on the most heated list again). I actually did write a true story about a college experience I had. It doesn't have any bad language or sexist comments and it has been very well received. Check this out:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22202
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-27 14:02:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not Joe, thank you. Not that there is anything wrong with him, I'm sure he's a fine fuck..
Loki is stupid for trying to impress people by showing them that she never leaves the fucking house. So what if you have more shit on this site than me, I juggle school and a job plus other shit. You can come on here and tell me you have a better number than me in whatever and that doesn't mean a fucking thing to me or any other intelligent person.
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kickass people like joe have to make up for ass sucks like loki.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:05:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe Average rocks my world.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-27 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
spam #2
It's like deja vous all over again.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1074912335818319257#359341
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-27 11:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
spam #1
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-01-27 10:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
THis is the post that never ends...it just goes on and on my friends...
and i know by replying I'm adding to its tenure in the annals of Uber history.
lots of hits and its not even on B@W. wow...an accomplishment!
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-27 03:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Joe,
Can I make a request? (Well, obviously I *can*...question is if you'll care or not.)
Post something that isn't just designed to piss people off so that you can battle with them? Pretty please? I'd like to know what you're like when you're not trying to incite a riot.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-01-27 00:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
IS THERE A PICTURE OF LOKI ANYWHERE ON THIS SITE?
I want to see the face behind all this aggression and hate.
Submitted by Fisher (user info) at 2004-01-26 21:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
funny stuff...
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-26 20:30:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Conspiracy? Hee Hee Hee, I'll never tell.
Submitted by loki at 2004-01-26 20:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not real, I'm actually joe, arguing on this site using many different names.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-26 19:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
defender0417, I think we both know that it would be impossible. By the way, why don't you sign-in, if you don't sign in your ratings won't count and we all know how important it is for our self esteem to have good ratings. Oh, and apparently loki has some kind of conspiracy theory that I'm all the people that have written on this post (even though I haven't written anything since last Friday). Thanks for signing on and showing her that you're real. Loki is certifiable.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-26 19:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She must love those numbers considering that loki also said "I was not an English major, it was math." Damn funny shit I tell ya.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-26 19:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What loki claims she has done over the past year : "what I've accomplished this past year, oh please. Nothing special, I just managed millions of dollars of assets for employee benefit plans, prepared financial statements for said plans, worked with the auditors on the SEC & DOL audits, and budgeted several millions of dollars for administration expenses for the department and benefit expenses for the retail chain stores. On a personal level, not much there either. I just got my rank certified by the Japan Karate Association, climbed El Capitan, and explored the Bristlecone Pines in the White Mountains and who knows what all else." Now tell me Joe, how could she be posting that often while still having time to do all of this?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-26 17:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Loki:
User id: 749 (Who fucking cares, she acts like this means a goddamn thing and she's been here forever but she hasn't even been a member of this site for a year yet. Wow, I thought with all of her talk about the good old days she must have been here for a couple of years, nope, barely 10 months.)
Registered on or around: 2003-03-27 15:54:49
# Messages posted: 305 (That's an average of one post a day 7 days a week)
# Reviews written: 9615 (That's an average of 32 posts per day 7 days a week)
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 7995 (That's an average of 26 reviews per story)
# Hits: 107303 (That's an average of 351 hits per post) Unfortunately, most hits are her own.
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About JoeAverage (including first post about Canada):
User id: 3703 (Who fucking cares, only Loki gives a shit about this number)
Registered on or around: 2003-11-18 12:56:14 (Has been a member of the site for 65 days)
# Messages posted: 10 (Posts are very rare)
# Reviews written: 660 (That's an average of 10 reviews per day 7 days a week)
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 1462 (That's an average of 146 reviews per story)
# Hits: 25145 (That's an average of 2,514 hits per post)
What do these numbers tell us?
1). Loki is obsessed with this site and has a shitty story for every day that she's been a member here. There is absolutely no fucking way you can have something interesting to write about every single day.
2). Loki is not very popular on this site, which is clearly shown by the paltry average number of hits she gets per story (only 351 people). The only reason she has so many total hits is because she is a posting whore that posts every single day.
3). Loki has an unhealthy obsession with this site: 9,615 reviews in 305 days! When do you have time to do anything else? You clearly have an internet addiction.
4). JoeAverage is vastly more read than loki: for every person that reads a loki story there are seven people who read a JoeAverage story (and JoeAverage has never benefitted from the gigantic hit boost of the BoredatWork website because his brilliance has never been displayed there).
5). Loki has just been completely fucking owned by the numbers and she loves accounting so I hope she enjoys this. Maybe now you will SHUT THE FUCK UP loki because everyone can see right through your bullshit. OWNED, FUCKING OWNED!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-26 17:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
defender0417, you asked where loki was and I can tell you she ran away with her tail between her legs because she knows she had her ass handed to her again. Just like she does every time she verbally spars with me. I thought instead of calling her names I would fight her the same way she likes to fight everyone else (by posting their ratings and posts and especially their user number). It's funny how she's so proud of her info until you break it down and actually look at what her numbers mean, because they are a fucking joke. Loki's only defense against me is to say she is ignoring me or that she's not going to read any more of my comments (she has said that in several of her posts and even wrote a thinly veiled post about ignoring me) but I know she always does. Her post was called "ostracism is a powerful social tool" and it sucked just like everything else she writes. Here is a great example of her caught in a lie:
Loki: All these hits of yours that you are so proud of are YOU as are most of the replies. You seem to be talking to yourself here - most likely also the only person who will have sex with you. Can't you find some attention somewhere else because here again, I'm not reading the shit you write so shoo away.
JoeAverage: She says she's not reading the shit that I write but she references my reply when I call her out on her number of hits. See what a hypocrite and liar she is? Also, she is so stupid that she must think all of you that are replying to this post since I've been gone (Elisha, K420, Batsu, Kristen <kristenb.at.hotmail.com>, BlackJesus, ChipSlice, shhhush <ilove pie.at.aol.com>, defender0417, Aphrodite, SakuraOSX, cchero, The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge, MickGinny, bob, MystiKasT, Tafoya, Electro, tech-junkie, techjunkieisright, LilsexyLover776, Mr._Positive, brad <Genocide98.at.hotmail.com>, Random Joe, and loki) must just be me. What a dumb bitch. If any of you are out there please reply back and tell loki you are the real deal and that she should SHUT THE FUCK UP. Ha, ha, I'm going to post a revised count on her hits and posts (I wonder if she is still up to her one post a day rate).
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-26 16:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY guys HOW is it GOING?
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-26 16:07:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Defender, did you even finish school? In Russia, MANY MEN were named Alexis! I USUALLY associate it with males because of that. Historically there are at least a dozen males named Alexis who are famous in one way or another. I actually LOVE that name personally, and on at least one baby name site it says that Alexis means "defender", not "defender of man/the world" like all the other versions of Alex, Alexander, etc.
So maybe next time you should be smart enough to LOOK THINGS UP!! Like I did. You are SO rude. How dare you. Hurrumph! Men are SUCH jerks. Well...except the few who are actually NICE and appreciate females! UNLIKE YOU!!
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-26 15:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's fun messing with loki even with all her STDs.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-26 15:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll ruin your shit, you little bitch!
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-26 15:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck cares? She's out whoring on 44th street, man.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-26 14:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just want to know, where the fuck is loki, she stop posting her when she had her shit ruined?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-26 11:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what's amazing? After sitting on top of the most heated list for a week back in November my post somehow gets to the #1 spot again and has been holding down the #1 spot for another 3 or 4 days. Amazingly, it has gotten almost 10,500 hits and was never posted on boredatwork.com. This site is so funny, I know I haven't written anything in quite some time but it looks like you're dying to hear more from me if you're digging up my old posts and making them #1 again. Thank you to all of my fans.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-26 08:55:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shak, by saying my name was alexis you called me a girl (therefore insulting me) then I said why why don't women just rule the world weithout men in the way (if they are numericly superior and smarter it shouldn't be too hard)?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-26 00:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, having sex with bitches rules.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-26 00:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll grant you that, tech.
And Sakura, you just had to say something, eh?
"BlackJesus, the only time you may call me honey is....well....never. I believe those who call women they don't know affectionate names are sexist horny men who don't get enough loving from the whores they must pay to suck them."
I KNOW you, and I was just saying that to annoy you. I NEVER want to call you honey..ever. So I'm sure we'll both be happy there.
And as for that women ruling through men bullshit: That evil bitch Eve tried that and fucked up the world. If your theory was true, which it is not, then the world would be such a worse fucking place than it now is. We just let you women have your fantasies for the sex. ;)
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-25 18:31:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
tech-junkie, good post there man but women work too and have that stress also. But yes, men have to take more shit from women than women have to take from men. And a woman's main problem is that she looks for problems and finds them everywhere.
____________________________________________________
Yes, that is true as well... women do work, but I would say that (generously speaking) 85% of the blue-collar workforce is dominated by men. Therefore, they put up with a whole lot more shit than women do. I would rather be some executive's assistant (THAT'S SECRETARY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T HAVE TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT) than some assembly line drone.
So, do women work? Yes, but definitely not as hard.
Submitted by brad <Genocide98.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-25 23:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maddox Ripoff.
I wish my girlfriend talked about shit like that, anyway. At least theres something to talk about, as if your senseless rambling meant anything more than hers. You're just another dipshit trying to snag their craptastic five minutes of attention by ripping on people a-la-maddox. I hope you go blind or impotent, maybe both.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would give away my first born to watch this author work.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why can't there be more works by this brilliant author?
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I smell Pulitzer.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If wisdom and intelligence had a child it would be JoeAverage.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This work is like God himself has taken fingers to keyboard.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shakespeare has never dreamed up anything this clever.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where is the nobel prize for this work?
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A masterpiece.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have enjoyed the post and the witty replies equally.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A post of this brilliance only comes along once in a lifetime.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This has inspired excellent discussion and banter.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For all the people to short sighted to give this the +2 it deserves.
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-25 23:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is an exceptional post.
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-25 22:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please forgive woman-kind for the previous poster. It is ill-spoken females like her that make us look stupid....We are much better at grammar, insults, and spelling, I promise you.
Submitted by LilsexyLover776 (user info) at 2004-01-25 22:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You ficking bitch if u really think wemon are gonna shut the fuck up think again and if i new u and u slaped me i wouldda killed u by now so if u ever think of writing bull shitlike that agin i will hunt u down and personlly kick u fucking ass. i bet ur some geek who needs a good ass wooping anyway.
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-25 22:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and by the way, I didn't even attack you. Why did you go after me just because I made a comment that your name might be Alexis? Sheesh, you said your name was Greek for "defender" so I took a guess. What a jerk.
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-25 22:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dumbass, I said women rule the world THROUGH men. Obviously you're too stupid to have finished school if you couldn't finish reading my post...oh wait...or maybe you just don't care, right? Then don't fucking post a response if you can't finish reading so you don't make yourself look like a moron. But maybe that's just how you are. Don't worry, I won't hold it against you, I'm forgiving.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-25 22:19:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So why isn't a woman president if you own the world, muchless are in the majority, bitch?
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-25 22:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, my name is not Alexander (the male variant of alexis), that would be defender of the world. What does SakuraOSX mean? Actually, don't even bother, it's too cool/original for me to ask that question. Or I just might not care.
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-25 22:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*does research*
Possibly defender's real name is Alexis.
Batsu, I would like to stay out of your fantasies about me anally raping anyone. Thankyou.
BlackJesus, the only time you may call me honey is....well....never. I believe those who call women they don't know affectionate names are sexist horny men who don't get enough loving from the whores they must pay to suck them.
Men who can't handle women are weak. We have you males whipped. Some get paid to entice horny bastards. How often does a woman have to pay for sex? That's what I thought. We rule the world through men. How does it feel to be used? That's what I thought.
OWNED, Bitch.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-25 18:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
tech-junkie, good post there man but women work too and have that stress also. But yes, men have to take more shit from women than women have to take from men. And a woman's main problem is that she looks for problems and finds them everywhere.
Submitted by techjunkieisright at 2004-01-25 12:05:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Techjunkie is absolutely right. It must be nice to be a woman where the only stress in your life is making sure you get the stain out of your husbands shirt. Women bitch and complain all the time about how hard they have it when it's the men who do all the hard work and then go to the grave earlier while the women are left with all the money to go whoring around after the man's dead. The guy that wrote this is brilliant and I'm going to read everything he's ever written and then make it my gospel. I'm also going to read all of Techjunkies stuff too. This post rules and I can't wait to read everything else! I encourage all men and women to read as much as you can from these two brilliant men.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-01-25 11:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for successfully conveying a message that most guys are always thinking.
Unfortunately, 51% of the U.S. population is women, so your message is unsuccessfully conveyed to over half of the U.S. population in your figurative bitch-slap to women.
Seriously, women do need to realize that there is reason why men are not expected to live longer than women. Men are subjected to so much more stress in the workplace, the stress of providing for a family, the stress of coming home to a nagging wife of 25 years of marriage. Asking that the woman of the house provide a meal and clean clothes for the family is nothing to ask considering the man has to come home from hard day's work.
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-25 10:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Defender is my real name in greek.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-25 02:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Is that when you put Loki in a bag?"
Actually, yes. ;)
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-01-25 01:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
shaddup. ;)
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-24 23:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You don't. You see the man that IS the excuse ;)"
Is it really an excuse or a reason? It might be a little hard for you to see me from where you're at with your binoculars.
"Whorebag."
Is that when you put Loki in a bag?
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-24 23:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"How do you see an excuse?"
You don't. You see the man that IS the excuse ;)
Whorebag.
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-24 23:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Batsu, you're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen"
How do you see an excuse?
"you little sherry-sipping Frenchman in a latex mini-skirt. Do us a favor and STFU. ;)"
The French still exist? STFU??? Never I tell you!!! -Iraqi Information Minister.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-24 23:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Batsu, you're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you little sherry-sipping Frenchman in a latex mini-skirt. Do us a favor and STFU. ;)
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-24 23:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who thinks BlackJesus should be anal raped by Loki, SakuraOSX, and Mr. Positive? THIS GUY!!!
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-24 22:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sakura honey, you are nothing more than the energy expended to calculate your worth. Do everyone misfortunate enough to know you a favor: become a suicide bomber, you under-medicated utterly clueless quarterwit. ;)
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-24 22:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate men. They suck. *walks out of the thread cause it's male dominated* You all suck. I hate you all! *feels better* ^_^
Submitted by Tafoya (user info) at 2004-01-24 21:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am one of those people who disagree with the fact that women have
to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. They can wear shoes.
Submitted by The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge (user info) at 2004-01-24 18:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I find the best way to deal with women is to pretend you are one. but the biggest problem with that is that it brings up some funny feelings, i found that pee pee poo poo poooooooooooooooo yum internet favorites tools help stop refresh home search favorites media history forward back reverse i think that the only way to help myself is to worship satan and go
Submitted by MystiKasT (user info) at 2004-01-24 15:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-24 15:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-22 17:55:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm on -my- side.
All women are evil. I'm smiling because you women have finally driven me insane. My next date is going to be with a nun.
JoeAverage is going to laugh his fucking ass off when he sees this back on the most heated list.
NewGirl: Write a story. Make a political essay, something. The longtime users of this site are here for food for thought, not pictures and disgusting shit.
Trial by fire.
_____________________________
AAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.
so true.
thats not a rifle pointed at newgirl's head, its a piece of chicken.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-01-24 14:34:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Verification Email Has Been Sent
An email has been sent to you at: MickGinny.at.msn.com . This email contains a code that you need to enter in this box:
Code:
Once you have finished that, you will be able to post again and be happy.
Thank you for playing.
Sincerely,
The nice folks at Ubersite
THIS IS FUCKING LAME BART! I DID NOT GET ANY EMAIL CONFIRMATION WITH ANY FUCKING CODE. EVEN IF I WOULD HAVE, IT IS FUCKING LAME! I HAVE TOO MANY NUMBERS IN MY LIFE! STOP IT! OR I'M COMING TO CHITOWN!
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-24 13:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I try to get a visual of the people who write shit like this - I think I found the visual in the pic attached to this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22975
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-24 13:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No comment to the idiot below who posts total bullshit
Submitted by The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge (user info) at 2004-01-24 13:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yall both suck
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-24 13:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yea, you do um.....Defender..... MUHAAA HA HAA HAAAA HAAA HAAA Defender of what oh mighty man?
CCHERO is jibberish, standing for nothing. I'm not going to get in a name calling contest since that would be below me. I am making a statement however, not to cast any stones with a name like Defender.
Submitted by The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge (user info) at 2004-01-24 12:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23911
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-01-24 10:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cchero, you are bitching about dorks with a name like that? Need I say more?
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-24 02:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The more and more you bitch about the "Statistics" of the site, the more I will -2 you. It's a fucking website, and you just got 150x lamer for getting in a stats comparison war with another user. What the fuck do you think this site is Magic the Gathering? My Shut the Fuck Up post beats your Post by .02343243 points. Try a new hobby, and quit being such a little bitch about things and go play wet the bread with your dad.
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-01-23 23:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sick of their shit, I don't care how hot they are, if I don't like them they wont get the time of day from me. And I know that I don't give the best example of rhetorical skills, but damn thats fucking grade level hick shit.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 21:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe there is a quote that fits in nicely here. 'No matter how beautiful a girl is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit'
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-23 21:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't hate us cause we're beautiful ~_^
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 21:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whorish women that use their bodies for persuasion. I am not weak, I can resist.
Submitted by SakuraOSX (user info) at 2004-01-23 21:16:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Defender, so us women are supposed to be held responsible for men being susceptible to our wills? Puh,, weakling men. =P
Submitted by Aphrodite (user info) at 2004-01-23 20:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you get beat down by your woman on a daily basis? You sound like a little bitch who finally decided he's had enough.
Submitted by loki at 2004-01-23 20:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad grandma makes defender's snake disapear into me, its the only action I can get, other than the snake grandpa puts into my mouth.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 20:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just wish they didn't make me watch. *shudder*
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-23 20:13:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know why i said that. i just wish my momma wouldn't make me play the disappearing snake game with grandpa anymore.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 20:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Take it from BlackJesus, Eve was an evil bitch. She cheated on Adam with the snake (phallic in shape) and then tainted innocent Adam. There's an equation for this shit too that you may have seen scattered all over the internet.
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women = time x money
Now time equals money, so
women = money x money
Money is the root of all evil, so
money = square root of evil
By squaring both sides of the equation,
money squared = evil
Now go back to the equation
women = money x money
See where I'm headed?
women = money squared = evil
Women = Evil
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-23 19:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Men wouldn't be here if it wasn't for women? Hrmm, if I seem to remember it was Eve (the woman) who seduced the man into eating the apple in the garden of eden that lead to our getting kicked out of paradise and loosing our imortality. Ohh and in the might words of tucker max "you owe me a rib."
Submitted by shhhush <ilove pie.at.aol.com> at 2004-01-23 17:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I love my get-in-the-kitchen jokes like any other pie loving, cock sucking whore, but this is totally unoriginal. -2 for boring me. +1 cause I love to hate on dumb women (reminds me of my mother). -1 cause these jokes got old when I was 15.
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 17:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ChipSlice, your momma is teh sux. And she sux at teh sux too. Worthless bitch.
Submitted by ChipSlice (user info) at 2004-01-23 17:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
this is teh sux
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-23 16:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have but a simple question for the simple minds of the females present. Why the fuck are you on a computer and not in the kitchen baking me a pie!?
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-23 16:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I already got a girl if you're refering to me, and she isn't a bitch like you, my mom is though, HAHAHAHAHHA, but as of Joe I don't know.
Submitted by Kristen <kristenb.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-23 16:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you would die without women you P.O.S. It was a women who brought your sorry ass into this world!
It's men like you that die alone or gay because of your hate for women!!! lol
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-23 16:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, posting ppl's topic lists to try and teach them a lesson, Loki, is the lamest fucking attempt of trying to justify that, you've a lot to learn.
Submitted by Batsu (user info) at 2004-01-23 16:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loki and Loren are a result of a failed pair of females trying to put a mark on other users' post. They never have anything good to say and are always in a pair. They are joined at the hip. I never call on anyone to defend me or get ideas. It wouldn't be worthy of calling Loki's reviews "ratings" because all they are really are insults. Loki is one of those people who if you confronted in person they would cower because she knows she's all talk. Loren and Loki are an example of why posts like this are written. Another thing, if you post just to target new users, etc, you're a fucking loser and you need to get a life. So what if you're an "OLD" user, what makes it any different that you registered earlier than me? NOTHING! You hold that over your head knowing that's the your only weapon to use againest new users. Fucking pathetic. And yes, I do make stupid posts, but I don't criticize new users nor spam their threads, fucking grow up.
Submitted by K420 (user info) at 2004-01-23 15:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by Elisha at 2004-01-23 15:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Excellent! Bravo!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-23 14:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought you had sworn off of spamming other people's posts with links to yours.
All these hits of yours that you are so proud of are YOU as are most of the replies. You seem to be talking to yourself here - most likely also the only person who will have sex with you.
Can't you find some attention somewhere else because here again, I'm not reading the shit you write so shoo away.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-23 14:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeA - you're really acting like a little twat. Stop. Please. It just doesn't matter, and while I did like that post, it doesn't mean I have to like all of them, OR for that matter, like the way you're carrying on and on about Loki.
*draws an imaginary line across the world*
Now you stay on your side Joe, and Loki, you stay on yours. AND BEHAVE KIDS!!!!
Oh, and Joe - for the record - I don't appreciate when people say they "KNOW" a fucking thing about what my opinion is going to be before I've even voiced it myself. You are way off base.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-01-23 12:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its obvious that Joe Average and NewGirl are the same person.
it worked though
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 11:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren, you know I'm right about loki (you just won't say agree with me because your "friends" with her) and you like my work!!! You get about 950 people per post and you've had 72 posts so that's pretty good, but Loki just isn't popular. Loki is all quantity and no quality. By the way, here is a review from Loren for my last story:
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-16 14:00:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you afraid of? Post part 2!!
You give me some hope that Uber hasn't completely gone to shit.
(That was a compliment, for those who think I'm incapable of handing one out).
If you want to read the story that prompted Loren to give out one of her rare compliments:
Sex With My Buddies Mom Part 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22202
Submitted by defender0417 at 2004-01-23 11:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I have to wonder how Loki could do all the stuff she told me about over the past year, while still having time for all those great numbers that joe has. Anyone else think loki is full of shit? Perhaps we should all tell her to go find a new place to post.
Submitted by loki at 2004-01-23 11:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bitch, bitch, bitch, moan. You all suck, and I don't (only because no one will let me suck them off).
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just wanted to thank everyone in the +2 crew: gangsta_penguin, MmmVag, jibbah, Mr._Positive, Batsu, NewGirl, WeirdlySawbones, GodChicken, Azure, squattail, Ducky, defender0417 (even though it's loki pretending to be defender0417), lordofthepost, ForeverJaded.
Thanks (but not as much) to the worth reading gang: I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish, The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge, Phinch, Bellebrown, defender0417.
You are the people I write for and I'm glad you were entertained by this. On behalf of everyone who enjoyed this I would like to say a big Fuck You to the following people: loki (15 times), cchero, audjgirl and Loren1.
Wow, I see a pattern here since the last time I posted. Almost everyone gave this a positive rating except a couple of morons. Yet the rating has gone down (because of loki's dumb ass). Whoever still gives a shit about their rating is a jackass because they don't matter. What does matter is the fact that 8,111 people have read this post. To anyone who didn't like it: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The problem with typing is you can't here the NBC PSA "The More You Know" music in the background when I say that.
Bong Bing Bong Bing
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"If you stick around long enough you'll find that I make a lot of sense."
WTF?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren, a perfect example of what I'm talking about is the #1 Post (I now hate Britain more than Canada) on the most heated right now, if you go look at it someone named DCWoody has -2d it 47 times. Forty fucking seven times! How can you put any stock in these ratings when people do stuff like that? It's simple, you just discount the ratings completely and look at how many people took the time to read what you had to say. If you stick around long enough you'll find that I make a lot of sense.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah. Thanks for clarifying that for me oh great and wise one.
I was being sarcastic, in case you didn't get that.
And now I'm forced to give you a -2.
AAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH insert *evil laugh* Bang! Bang! You're dead!!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 10:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren, Loki is just over 1 and I'm just over 0 but that doesn't have any relevance because when you camp in people's posts and give them fifteen -2s it distorts the true ratings or by the same token if you have all of your friends +2 you because they know you (regardless of the content of your work) the ratings are meaningless. If you write something interesting or compelling people will read it. If you don't than people won't. The ratings don't matter and are not a true representation of the work. Do you only go to see the movies the critics like? No, because critics never like the big, box office 300 million dollar movies (except LOTR) but people love them. The same is true with the ratings here, they are not important, only the number of people that like to view your work are important.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee... I wonder why you didn't include the average rating information... hmmmm.
Guess it didn't serve your cause.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki:
User id: 749 (Who cares?)
Registered on or around: 2003-03-27 (Has been on this site for 302 days)
# Messages posted: 302 (That's an average of one post a day 7 days a week)
# Reviews written: 9533 (That's an average of 32 posts per day 7 days a week)
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 7903 (That's an average of 26 reviews per story)
# Hits: 105597 (That's an average of 349 hits per post)
JoeAverage (Stats Include first post Canada Sucks under different name):
User id: 3703 (Who cares?)
Registered on or around: 2003-11-18 (Has been a member of the site for 62 days)
# Messages posted: 10 (Posts are very rare)
# Reviews written: 591 (That's an average of 9 posts per day 7 days a week)
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 1362 (That's an average of 136 reviews per story)
# Hits: 22164 (That's an average of 2,216 hits per post)
What do these numbers tell us?
1). Loki is obsessed with this site and has a shitty story for every day that she's been a member here. There is absolutely no fucking way you can have something interesting to write about every single day.
2). Loki is not very popular on this site, which is clearly shown by the paltry average number of hits she gets per story (only 349 people). The only reason she has so many total hits is because she is a posting whore that posts every single day.
3). Loki has an unhealthy obsession with this site: 9,533 reviews in 302 days! When do you have time to do anything else? You clearly have an internet addiction.
4). JoeAverage is vastly more read than loki: for every person that reads a loki story there are six people who read a JoeAverage story (and JoeAverage has never benefitted from the gigantic hit boost of the BoredatWork website because his brilliance has never been displayed there).
5). Loki has just been completely fucking owned by the numbers and she loves accounting so I hope she enjoys this.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yikes. My head hurts. Why is it that in reading this thread I am suddenly reminded of Romper-Room? That show was probably WAY before the time most of you can recall, OH - just for the record: New people - I'm O.L.D.
Here's my 2¢...
Newgirl -
Take a large dose of liquid valium, then do your research. Because if you had done it, you'd see that Loki doesn't "flame" anyone without a valid reason (unless of course, she's experiencing PMS, and we can all relate with that). And although I am one of the ones that refrains from calling her a "sex-goddess," I can understand why many do - she kicks some serious ass when it comes to knowing her shit and expressing it well, and people dig that. Me also thinks that by accusing Loki of being a "jealous troll" - that - "thou protest too much" - or is it, "thou doth protest too much." ? I forget, but I think you get the idea, at least, I hope you do.
On another note: Loki and I and Hidden and a ton of other "Uber-oldies" routinely become targets of new users. (See "chipolatte's" original posts dedicated to me, you can find them by doing a "Loren" or Loren1 search, then do another search for Loki and you'll get the picture.)
It's all good fun, but frustrating sometimes, because you all think you're the first ones to do it - like you're some sort of champion who's taking a stand against the "wicked dictatorship." Laughable as hell that you'd get your panties all-in-a-bunch over it.
---------------------------
Where is it that Loki "screamed" for my "help" ? (Written below recently)
I don't get it. She can obviously stand her own ground, besides, when it comes to a battle of the minds between Loki and who-so-ever challenges her, the majority hear are clearly unarmed and almost always resort to name-calling to prove it. (Hence the use of the word "ugly.")
BTW, If I didn't make a whole lot of sense here, it's because I'm hallucinating this morning due to lack of sleep and one too many glasses of red wine last night. And it's all Insanetheminds' fault. Ah fuck it. What the hell do I care?
Deep and meaningful message of the day: It's always good to blame someone else for your mistakes.
I think I need psychiatric care.
Submitted by ForeverJaded (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I give the man a +2 why do you ask? It's simple si Found it funny as hell.
I didn't take it seriously, but it goes with me belief that men are being pussified.
Women want equal this, equal that. Well when theres a 50lb bag of mulch etc etc.
Your equal to men remember, pick that damn bag up your damn fucking self.
Just remember ladies "Would you suck my balls if I asked ya too?"
-J-
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki, hang on for a minute or two, I've got some interesting numbers to show you.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
16
This steaming pile of shit is not worth the kerfuffle it caused.
I'd give you another -2, but I think I'm clever for using the word that came in my word of the day e-mail.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-23 09:09:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki, you've given my post fifteen -2s and you're arguing with a noob that you can't even hang with. Your game is very weak so why don't you take your boring ass posts and stick them somewhere else. The difference between you and I is that I don't give a shit about ratings but you do. You post peoples ratings and user numbers like it makes one bit of difference. Actually, I don't feel like wasting my time, God knows you have a million posts here, but if someone else wants to spam all of Loki's posts with -2s please go ahead. This will crush her fragile uber ego and then all she will have left is her precious user number. How lame.
Submitted by JoeAverage (