my first post, my first orgasm (13817 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.95 on 183 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <cindywang19.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-20 01:17:06 EST
Hi
My name is Cindy and this is my first post on Uber. I'm from Taiwan, but I am in Australia now studying for an Arts Degree. My major is literature and my favourite English language writer is F. Scott Fitzgerald.
A classmate recommended this site to me, and I've been "lurking" for a couple of weeks now, checking things out. There are some really great writers in here! I also like how the site is not too serious and "anything goes". By participating in Uber, I hope I can improve my English, and maybe make some new friends.
Anyway, as this is my first post, I thought I should talk about the first time something happened to me: my first orgasm!
I was fourteen years old and was staying in a fancy hotel in Hong Kong with my parents. The bath had one of those hand held shower-head things, I'm not sure what you call them, and when I sprayed it on my breasts it felt 'funny'. I had read about masturbation and orgasm in sex education books, and that encouraged me to keep exploring that feeling. When I sprayed the hot needles of water onto my special place, it felt even better and I just wanted that feeling to continue. I had to let some water out of the bath so I could keep spraying directly onto the right spot. The feeling got stronger and stronger, and I actually thought "so this is masturbating! Just like in the books!". I knew of course that masturbating lead to the famous Orgasm, and was glad I'd read that it was safe, because the feelings I had were so strong I was scared I might hurt myself. But anyway, there was no way I could have stopped!
As the tension built up, I knew that something powerful had to happen soon, but I didn't know what. When the orgasm came, it was an amazing mixture of pain and pleasure. I don't know how long it lasted, but afterwards I felt so relaxed and relieved.
I also had no doubt that I had had my first orgasm!
I've had lots of orgasms since then, but the great thing about that first orgasm was the slightly scary feeling of venturing into the unknown. Of not knowing what an orgasm would actually feel like.
I would love to hear about other people's first orgasms.
BTW, I hope you don't mind me including my photo. I see lots of white American girls do it, so why not me too?
inbed.jpg (34 kB) [image/pjpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-13 00:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:20:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
How can ejaculation be premature?
The whole POINT of sex is to ejaculate.
------------------------
Found this comment in my favourites folder.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-13 20:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually jacked off to that picture. I can't believe it.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-14 20:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i can't believe morpons doubuted the detachable sowere heasd:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/music/was-it-good-for-you/2006/09/13/1157827019399.html
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-12 13:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shandy certainly used to be a bit livlier back in the day.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-12 13:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is glorious!
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-12 09:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hooray for johnny x!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-01 13:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 05:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
user name: cindy
password: cindy
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-25 16:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks again everyone!!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-25 16:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh so happy!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-25 16:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i feel happy
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-11-25 14:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Based off of some of "her" comments, I'm going to go with 40 years old.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-11-25 14:00:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My bet is on this being a two-bit, sexually repressed pervert. 13 or 40 years old, I'm not sure.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2003-11-25 08:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
In conclusion-You are all strange sexual perverts.
Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2003-11-25 07:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this isn't even an admirable attempt at satire
boo-urns
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-24 21:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is getting old
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-24 12:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who asked you?
Is it because I am asian?
You racist, indolent pig.
Or is because I am an empowered woman in touch (literally!) with her sexuality?
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2003-11-24 10:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Alright, where is bart with his super-network-admin powers to off this shit already?
"cindy", youre a fuck-wit. Quatermain had it right from the get-go.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-24 09:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cindy, there is only one word for YOU, and that is: "please please you sexy fucking asian bitch let me fuck you I will do anything you ask anything anything anything ahhh errrgh baby i need you now your delicate exotic genitalia is hot hot hot please please please have mercy on me"
i am not at all condescending, nor is my penis gargantuan. i will take you in the supermarket, i will take you in the food hall. i will take you in toys r us, or even in the bookshop. i will take you in the disabled toilet. Say the word, honey bun, and I'm yours!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-24 04:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, this is just great.
Pure genius.
Shandy : Keep shouting showerhead mate, eventually it will work!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-23 23:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
insanesnail, as mentioned early on, I attend the Australian National University. I know it was some kind of game with an olive shaped ball that was recently played (we call it "olive ball" in Chinese) and I know that Lotte Tuquiri is a big spunk. Proof enough?
manfre - why not post a pic? I like girl love. If your pussy is not a gaping barren canyon like poor queenies, we could hit the showers together.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-23 23:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
very witty, Manfre, but I didn't have my first bukake experience till I was 18 - it was a 'cuming of age' (he he he) birthday gift from my dad and about twenty of his business colleagues.
You write in such a sensitive and knowledgeable way, and with such female insight, one thing is very obvious to me: YOU ARE A CHICK.
Come out of the closet girlfriend, the Sisterhood awaits you with open arms.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep you sure got me pegged.
Submitted by InSaNeSna1L (user info) at 2003-11-23 22:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cindy,
you still havent said which university you attend...or even named one!
If you are in australia, you could at least name the type of football comp the english recently won
and everyone else....its like the monsters in the Simpsons
Just dont look, and they will go away...
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-23 18:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Queenie, its a pity you are not open to external suggestion. If you were, you would follow my advice and get hold of the shower rose and use it constantly for several months. This might help cure you of being a frigid disgrace to the Sisterhood. Or, if you are really a man, do some damage to your micropenis. At the very least it would keep you busy and spare the uber community your obnoxious presence. Even better, you might drown.
Shandy, there is only one word for your kind: LOSER
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-23 02:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't recall ever in my life anyone's opinions having any effect on my actions. I stopped posting because I was bored of you.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-23 02:09:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Cindy you are an evil slut and I hate you.
I was buying some shit in Kmart today when I suddenly realised that the check-out chick serving me looked just like you, ie a hot asian slut. I barred up immediately and almost came in my pants. Giving her a meaningful look, I asked her if she knew which aisle the SHOWER ROSES were in. Her English was fucked and she didn't seem to know what I was talking about. But she was still hot and my cock just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It's funny that I had never even noticed asian girls before I saw your uber post.
It seems all hot asian chicks look much the same, and I saw about twenty Cindys as I made my way out of the mall. After a while I stopped approaching them individualy, and just shouted loudly "SHOWER ROSE SHOWER ROSE SHOWER ROSE" over and over again. I got some funny looks (perhaps because my cock had swollen to such an extraordinary size that it had burst free of my jeans and I was jerking off as I walked along, pumping sheet after sheet of jism all about me, as if from a fire hose) but I didn't see anywhere the glimmer of recognition I had hoped the magic words would induce.
Despite all the jism that has been pumped out, my cock is still rock hard and feels like it is ready to burst at the seams. I guess the only hope I have is to try the fucking shower rose on it.
If you are in Canberra, bitch, I will find you.
Submitted by PizzaFace (user info) at 2003-11-23 01:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 03:50:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your face is of low quality."
+2 for reminding me of this...
I actually told a girl that, once. She showed me this picture she took of herself, and as she did she said "I'm sorry, but the picture's kind of low quality", to which I charmingly replied "Yeah, your face is of low quality, too!" Needless to say, she was mad at me for quite some time, but it was worth it.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-11-23 00:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This has puzzled me for a long time...
Why don't people at least edit out the names of the models on the pictures before claiming that it's themselves?
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-22 23:03:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
- I have no idea who habeeb is
- I have no idea how the imposter (assuming there is one,and I have not in fact lost my mind)got into my uber account
- I am confused, but I AM STILL CINDY, a nice young lady from Taiwan.
Oh, and Queen Ashlee, aren't you being rather bold commenting on this post again? You might be chastised again by the Uber patriarchy.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-22 22:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK. I just found out that this is Habeeb. That means that Kristyswan is/was also Habeeb.
Damn you! You'll do well to see yourself away from 'ere!
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-22 22:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On a side note, Hsu was in a Japanese band called 'Black Biscuits'. Their song "Timing(u)" was very popular in 1998.
Oh that's funny...I didn't know we could post photos of people we claim to look like. My bad, I guess I'm the silly one.
---
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-22 22:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd like to know how this "imposter" got into your Uberaccount. Admit it, it was you.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-22 22:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not apologising, I can only comment on the first three posts. The fourth post was either created by an imposter or I have lost my mind.
I bear a resemblance to the women in the first three posts. (And a bit to the one in the fourth post, too, for that matter). I do not actually claim to be those women. That would be silly!
I come from Taiwan originally, but have lead a cosmopolitan life.
I am only answering your silly post so nicely because I am in a slightly dazed state.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-22 21:55:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Hmmm. Aside from the fact that you've posted pictures of different women in 3 of your 4 posts (posts 2 & 3 are famous porn actress Vivian Hsu), there is no way you are from Taiwan writing the way you do.
I guaran-fucking-tee that this is the same dip who brought us Kristy Swan.
Yup, you're a complete fake. Didn't you think there might be someone who's seen Vivian Hsu before?
God you suck
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-22 21:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(blushes) gee thanks Apollo. "From the mouths of babes" (no pun intended) the truth will sometimes pop out...
I hope its not just my pretty face, my lovely tits and my special golden shit that has inspired such praise. Or have you been drinking continuosly since the English victory in that funny football-type game?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-22 19:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
""""""Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:55:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
good thinking really bored
How in god's name did you take on some kind of leadership/voice of authority mantle in here, which your paternal tone suggests you assume? To me you seem a slow, dim-witted, sexist and racist fuck.
You refer to following Bart's example, but i wonder if you appreciate the ironic import of your words?
Perhaps you are clever in a very subtle way, but I suspect not.
Oh and bog boy, thanks for advancing me one more notch up the tower of babel list, which of course is my sinister female goal.
chauvanist, racist fuck! """""""""""
THE ABOVE IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ON UBERSITE.
I SALUTE YOU.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-22 18:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
""""""Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:24:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
quack, you infantile racist, I will never give up the fight against prejudice as long as my heart is beating within my tender young breast. """""""""
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
fade to black
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-11-22 06:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Cindy, as this is my first and last time visiting your post I'll point out that it's not that you've "Shut them up" it's that
No one cares about you.
-J
a bother to respond will be wasted time.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-22 01:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, I thought that would shut you up, you dimwitted racist chauvanist fucks
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-21 23:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Glancing back through the vindictive and peurile stream of abuse below, three issues come to mind:
1. Accusing me of being a fifteen year old boy seems to be considered an insult. If we accept that age brings wisdom, most of you cunts harldy seem to be in a position to judge. The vast majority of you appear to be in the early twenties spoilt uni student/office worker stage of life. Hardly grey-bearded wise-men in caves in the mountains.
The reality, however, is that in most cases age brings an increase in stupidity. As we get older we get set in our ways and lose openess to new experience or new thought. Most of you cunts are probably already set in your political or philosophical "views" (ie the dogma you have stapled to your chests without any critical thought), and future ageing will just be a slow decent into bitterness and blankness. Hence my noble attempts to educate and enlighten you are probably futile.
2. Why is pretending to be someone else considered bad? Isn't that one of the basic features of fiction? Isn't the suspension of disbelief, and the creation of new belief, a fundamental part of being fully human? Or are you all dry rationalists. As you yourselves masquerade in fanciful names such as Franger, Grizzly Bear, Shadow, Spite and Queen Ashlee, this seems unlikely.
3. People who (foolishly) assume this is a "fake" post condemn this on the grounds that the format has been used before. To be consistent, these people will now need to ridicule anyone who makes a snappy one page classic bored at work post on topics such as: my wild night on the town; male homosexual anxieties; feminism; seinfeldian observation of the small details of life; sincere revelations of personal struggles in life; film reviews; etc etc et fucking cetra.
Note: Points two and three are raised in the interests of critical thinking only. As it happens, in this post I am who I say I am.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-11-21 22:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
M-M-M-MORON!!!
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-11-21 19:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would you pretend to be this person? It's not even funny.
Submitted by ugaly <UG_A_LY.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-21 18:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1. You are an ugly wench, which is why you've never been laid. Stop saying you look good.
2. You are a lying, hypocritical doosh bag.
3. You say you need to learn how to speak english better? Well, reading through your posts, I noticed that you used a lot of very large words that I would be sure most normal, "Taiwanese" people would not know, having never been to America.
4. Dyke, leave your showerhead alone, as it has a right not to have partake of that nasty yeast infected hell hole again.
Submitted by Jay (user info) at 2003-11-21 16:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thank God someone actually worse than me
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very witty, Manfre, but I didn't have my first bukake experience till I was 18 - it was a 'cuming of age' (he he he) birthday gift from my dad and about twenty of his business colleagues.
You write in such a sensitive and knowledgeable way, and with such female insight, one thing is very obvious to me: YOU ARE A CHICK.
Come out of the closet girlfriend, the Sisterhood awaits you with open arms.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, dear. you made the "this is my first post" posting mistake. I'm sorry.
Submitted by xLisaCatx (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quite possibly the worst post ever.
Cindy, I hope you whoever you are, you are enjoying the laugh at this post and subsequent responses, because I can assure you that you're the only one laughing.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I looked and looked and finally found the rough draft of this post. Ill post it for everyone to read. Its a good one too.
-------------------------------------------
Hi
My name is Cindy and this is my first post on Uber. I'm Taiwanese hooker, but I am in Australia now studying for a degree in cum guzzling. My major is skanking and my favourite English language writer is Larry Flint.
A classmate recommended this site to me, and I've been "lurking" for a couple of weeks now, checking things out. There are some really great writers in here! I also like how the site is not too serious and "camwhoring gets massive hits". By participating in Uber, I hope I can improve my camwhoring, and maybe make some new enemies.
Anyway, as this is my first post, I thought I should talk about the first time something happened to me: my first bukaki!
I was fourteen years old and was staying in a scummy hotel in Hong Kong with my pimp. The bath had one of those roach spray things. I had read about gangbangs and double penetration in while working the streets, and that encouraged me to keep exploring. When I felt the spray of the warm cum on my special place, it felt even better and I just wanted that feeling to continue. I had to let some water out of the bath so I could keep spraying directly onto the right spot. The feeling got stronger and stronger, and I actually thought "so this is the money shot! Just like in the books!". I knew of course that gangbangs lead to the famous Loose Vagina, and was glad I'd read that it was common, because the feelings I had were so strong I was scared I might hurt myself. But anyway, there was no way I could have stopped!
As the tension built up, I knew that something powerful had to happen soon, but I didn't know what. When the men came, it was an amazing mixture of pain and pleasure. I don't know how long it lasted, but afterwards I felt so sore.
I also had no doubt that I had enjoyed my first orgie!
I've had lots of orgies since then, but the great thing about that first was the slightly scary feeling of venturing into the unknown. Of not knowing what an it would actually feel like.
I would love to hear about other people's first gangbangs.
BTW, I hope you don't mind me including my photo. I see lots of white sluts do it, so why not me too?
----------------------------
I know its rather long but its interesting to get a behind the scenes look at a stupid persons rought draft of their first post.
Submitted by Cup_of_Joe (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't care of the pic is real or not. Wear a sailormoon-looking schoolgirl outfit or find a chick who is wearing one.
Thank you and drive thru
Submitted by Spite (user info) at 2003-11-21 00:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if you are not real the picture makes up for it.
But I am just soft to Asian beauty...
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-20 23:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes thats exactly what you are meant to do, that or leave the fucking site, either suits me, we don't take kindly to 13 yr old boys around here.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 22:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What am I supposed to do Franger, just sit back quietly and take the abuse? Like a good little Asian girlie??
There is no way in the world I will meet Shandy. In fact I think I might have to leave Canberra if that foul creature really is sniffing around here somewhere. Where do you live so I can avoid you as well?
Foxy asian, get a pic posted ASAP girlfriend! Strength in numbers.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2003-11-20 21:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, i'm not racist. but that was funny -- engrish! haha. it still is. i have a bad habit of laughing at jokes i shouldn't, like racist ones... anyways, it doesn't really matter if this post tops most heated... what better shit is there up there? canada?! cmon!
oh, and read my ninja post. it's better than this one. i promise.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069353256888927321
(sry for shameless promotion :) )
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-20 20:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is only on the most heated because this bitch has posted like 1/2 of the reviews.
If you were real you would meet Shandy to prove it.
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2003-11-20 20:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I myself being Asian, this post pisses me off to the extreme.... and there's no doubt that this is not a female, or at least definately not the one in the ripped off pic...
GAH!
delicate asian organs? as if theyre different from anyone elses
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh. My. God. This is stupid.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-20 19:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shutup dumb bitc--i mean guy
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:24:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quack, you infantile racist, I will never give up the fight against prejudice as long as my heart is beating within my tender young breast.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha! lucid!!
ENGRISH!
hahaha!
oh yeah. and cindy --> seriously. no one believes your ass. give up already. it's over..
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lucid, do you realise your remark is racist and offensive in the extreme, or are you just stupid?
it may amaze alot of americans, but some people can actually speak more than one language fluently.
-2 for you for making me so angry, you stinking racist cunt.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Have another one you stupid whore.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should of at least mispelled some words and written some engrish. At least that way I could of said your post is bullshit but add in "Nice try."
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 18:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
queenie, you have disgraced the sisterhood.
whenever a patriarchal patronising fuddy-duddy fuck like this "really bored" tells you to bend over, do you really think its appropriate to immediately degrade yourself? So it seems. To paraphrase your grovelling: "oh, i'm so sorry really bored, i was a bad girl, i didn't mean it, I wasn't myself, please forgive me, give me a slap around the chops if you like while I fetch your beer and slippers, bring round your mates and violate me with more DVDA if your highness pleases, i promise I'll only ever pass comments on your brilliant posts in future"
STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS GIRL. Give really bored and his oppressive father figure cronies the finger!
Boycott the cunts, I say.
THE SISTERHOOD WILL NEVER DIE.
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2003-11-20 18:58:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BTW, I was 8 when I had my first orgasm. You see, I was walking off down the street when Michael Jackson pulls up and goes, "Hey suga', you lookin' for a good time," which I replied with, "Are you going to suck me off?" And he did. The end.
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2003-11-20 18:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess when you stole that picture from some asian porn site you forgot to erase the writing at the top right and the bottom left. GG 2 U~~
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-20 17:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This makes me want to say alot of bad words, but i cant just pick one! Guns, explosives, violence, sex, rape, gangs, black, hatred, steal, anger, murder, rage, genetics, damn, hell, heck, ass, crap, poop, breasts, boobs, crotch, orgasm, butt, natural selection, drugs, marijuana, lsd, alcohol, beer, booze, crack, AIDS, herpes, genitals, reincarnation, DNA, dinosaur, evolution, darn, testicles, implants, testicular implants, dang, jerk, fight, blood, vampire, pagan, psychic, ESP, occult, witch, dumb, stupid, shoot, nude, naked, evil, Satan, satanism, devil, demons, rock and roll
Submitted by InSaNeSna1L (user info) at 2003-11-20 17:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If your "REALLY" from Australia, name a University.
And why does the Sig in the bottom left corner say Japan
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is Most Heated? Forgive me for asking but why is anyone replying here? And don't say, "you just did it itchy." I'm just trying to prevent further abuses here. Necessary evil, I say.
Oh yeah, "Shenanigans."
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Reallybored, it was four in the morning. I was... well, really bored.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:04:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You claim to have lurked here for weeks. If that were true, you would know the following:
1. Never announce your newness in your first post
2. Posting a provocative nude picture of yourself will only get you called a whore
3. Writing about your first orgasm will enforce this behavior
So you knew all these things, yet you did it anyway. You actually desired the negative attention and insults. Very well.
YOU WEB-CAMMING SKANK OF A HIT-WHORE, DIE!
I hope you're happy.
-Bus
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-11-20 12:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Michael Jackson at 2003-11-20 12:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My lawyer is advising me to not talk about any of my orgasms.
Submitted by Amish_Amos (user info) at 2003-11-20 12:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fire and brimstone for ye
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-20 12:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i dated a REAL taiwanese girl a few years back.
she was FREAK. yep that's freak in all caps, not just with a capital F
two things i never want to EVER EVER EVER hear in the middle of sex is "Hit me! Please hit me!"
and "Let's play Rape."
not that that has anything to do with her being taiwanese or anything
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-20 12:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
asshole.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-20 12:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, it only took two minutes for someone to call shenanigans.
I thought we had agreed that there would be no more SPT. What do we have to do to serve penance, sacrifice a virgin?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-20 11:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The picture is too good to be true.
I don't believe for a second that this is on the up-and-up.
Submitted by YankeeHater (user info) at 2003-11-20 11:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"My major is literature and my favourite English language writer is F. Scott Fitzgerald."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought the only book you Thai hookers read was the Kama Sutra?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-20 11:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW! what a chick!
***************** We interrupt your regularly scheduled fantasy with a message from your brain************
You fuckup. you couldn't even bother to get rid of the mark in the bottom corner of the picture and make it halfway believable?
*sigh* oh well.
ZZZZZZZzzzipp
********************* We now return you to your regularly scheduled fantasy. We apologize for the interruption. ****************************
Yeah baby. Daddy's got a big bowl of fried rice for you... all you gotta do is...
Oh yeah. that's daddy's little girl. verrrrrryyyyy nice.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah if i wanted to have nightmares. just go to bed already. this isn't even worth arguing about with you.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh lacey, it helps, believe me, it helps. Wouldn't you like to look in the mirror and see me?
goodnight.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
whatever you gotta tell yourself to help you sleep at night
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
el guapo, do you have any idea how insulting it is for a woman, and especially an Asian woman, to be told she does not even exist?? You make me sick.
I'm going to bed.
But one last look in the mirror just to check I'm still lovely and pretty.
Yep!
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
at least most people aren't falling for this hoax.
who wants to place bets that this is the same jackass that's been posing as KS?
i'd put $20 on it.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ah, now come the white girls jealous of my exotic beauty and alluring ways
racist sluts!
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
snore
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post makes me feel real fucking stupid for the "Bad Girl" post i wrote the other day. RB~ I get it now!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 10:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only decent one of you is jonuka. He thinks my photo is hot!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:58:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
iqqd, please refer to my comments to really bored
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
good thinking really bored
How in god's name did you take on some kind of leadership/voice of authority mantle in here, which your paternal tone suggests you assume? To me you seem a slow, dim-witted, sexist and racist fuck.
You refer to following Bart's example, but i wonder if you appreciate the ironic import of your words?
Perhaps you are clever in a very subtle way, but I suspect not.
Oh and bog boy, thanks for advancing me one more notch up the tower of babel list, which of course is my sinister female goal.
chauvanist, racist fuck!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ive been avoiding this post like the plague, and got tricked into looking at it via a link.
now im here, ill just say:
WHEN THE FUCK WILL PEOPLE GET OVER LOGGING IN UNDER AN ASSUMED NAME AND WRITING SHITTY POSTS?
its not funny, and it seriously is the most over-done thing on uber.
GET THE FUCK OVER IT. PLEASE.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Im going to use this post as the difference between Uberelite and the newer ones.
Lets look at how bart and hidden and some of the other peopled handled this post.
They got in, saw it was bullshit, called it out. Then left.
Yet Queen, Kristen, Quarter (each one i like and respect) continue to fight and argue with this girl. Surely driving this post up the most heated.
Look dont take this the wrong way, i like each one of you, but stop. Let this stupid fake post just die. Dont sit here and run it up the most heated list.
That is all.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey you yankie and booneys and marcs, that's my chick your dissin'.
watch out or i'll bite your honkey arses
(if she actually is a man, though, your comments are quite jusitifed and I fully support them)
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-20 09:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Appollo, dear colleague, I am in many many ways a conflicted man. But in this case, if this young lady is really a young lady in Canberra, I will pursue her with every fibre of my being. But if I arrange a rendezvous with her and discover instead a man with orange hairs visible on his man boobs, I will run as fast as I can.
Submitted by YankeeHater (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 you fucking moron. Christ have you people been going at this all night?
Submitted by marc01 (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
who is this? Obviously this is someone who has been around a while. wtf do you lame asses do this shit?. most likly this is the same person who made mcbain and tma and the pletra of other fake dumb asses.
who the fuck ever you are this shit is not funny. and get over it.
Submitted by IntheBoonies (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You write like you're a cross between Miyagi from Karate Kid and a poorly-written fortune cookie. Engrish, anyone?
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:32:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeheehee...
This is a great fucking post for commentary to read first thing in the morning. +2
It's like watching some dude beat an inbred puppy for shitting on the rug. No matter how many times the puppy is hit, the puppy still doesn't understand what it did wrong.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:44:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
yes potato, these playful idiots just refuse to learn!! You are clearly a man of some insight.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow. Just...wow.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shandy - you arguing with yourself there?
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes potato, these playful idiots just refuse to learn!! You are clearly a man of some insight.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
""""Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:32:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeheehee...
This is a great fucking post for commentary to read first thing in the morning. +2
It's like watching some dude beat an inbred puppy for shitting on the rug. No matter how many times the puppy is hit, the puppy still doesn't understand what it did wrong. """"
AAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shandy : mmmmmm Orange hair on man breasts.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeheehee...
This is a great fucking post for commentary to read first thing in the morning. +2
It's like watching some dude beat an inbred puppy for shitting on the rug. No matter how many times the puppy is hit, the puppy still doesn't understand what it did wrong.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good effort.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 08:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hair sphincter, who is this Loren you speak of?
Shandy, do not come near me. I am in fact a lovely girl, or so I'm told, but you are clearly a vile fellow. If anyone (with a beard or without)whispers "shower rose" in my ear I will spray them with mace.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
in fact, just looking at that lovely photo has inspired thoughts of a pending orgasm number 6,454. I must say, the thought of experiencing orgasm number 1 all over again is very interesting.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:41:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pleasantly disturbing
if, Cindy, by some unlikely miracle you actually are female and look like the woman in that photograph, please meet me at the ANU bar tomorrow night after work. I will easily pick you out from the crowd of hags down there. I will approach you and whisper through my beard the code word "shower rose".
If you are a thirty-nine year old man with orange hair on his man boobs, this message does not apply to you. But I thank you, kind sir, for providing the lovely (and worksafe) photo of this angel.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren???
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
god damn it, now all the hot chicks have gone. Thanks a lot Queenie. Mate, you are a CUNT
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, good point Apollo. The word "premature orgasm" should be struck from the dictionary.
So you enjoy sex tours as well, eh? Enjoy a bit of the asian mystique, eh?
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 07:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
god damn it, i've just been in the shower, but not for pleasure, nor to swallow the shower rose, but to wash away the disgusting stinking poof tainted-spoof that was on my belly.
And now, as I type, I've just discoved a bit of the filthy stuff stuck in the curly orange hairs between my middle-aged man-boobs. God damn it, queenie, you are to blame for this!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How can ejaculation be premature?
The whole POINT of sex is to ejaculate.
What do I care if cheap asian looky looky sex for a dollar love me long time whores enjoy themselves or not.
Don't mess with me.
Biatch.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**Your repeated use of the word "girlfriend" when addressing other females further confirms my beleif that you are, in fact, thirteen.**
Either that, or she's about to get her own show on UPN.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:18:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey,
My name is kRisten, not kIRsten.
There's another language lesson for you.
How come you're still able to type? You should be gargling on that showerhead about now.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your repeated use of the word "girlfriend" when addressing other females further confirms my beleif that you are, in fact, thirteen.
So I lied. I'm not asleep. Oh. Fucking. Well.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kirsten
Damn it girlfriend, you had my hopes raised there!
Cindy
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 06:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**quartermain, I am impressed by your knowledge of cultural cliches about Asian wimmin.**
Again, proper names=capitalisation. What is this, slow learner night? Also, the only person who could get away with spelling the word 'wimmin' was Jethro Clamppet. Although I'm sure you'll prove to be almost as inbred.
**As a matter of fact, I have already participated in a sex tour of Thailand.**
There is not a doubt in my mind that this is true. Although, I would be willing to bet you were the catcher and not the pitcher.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:58:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cindy,
Too bad Jeffrey Dahmer died before he met you.
You know what's better than a showerhead orgasm?
I don't know.
Submitted by Choppa (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
leave ubersite and leave my country.
thats right, 'go get fucked you cunt!'
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yuck, now I've got "poofter spoof" all over my fat middle-aged tummy
Mind you, queenie, I was looking at your "photo" while I was wanking, so maybe I'm not gay after all!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your a MAN!! Oh fuck no! I'm really a 39 year old man, and I've been jerking off at every feisty provocative word you've written, thinking you were a woman!! Oh no, I'm a poof!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, you've found me out. I'm a man. I admit it. Now be a good little crackwhore and suck my cock. I might give you a dollar, but only if you swallow.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good night girlfriend, it was lovely having this profound debate with you
seriously though, just give the shower thing a try, you obviously need to relax. Or would you like me to forward you details on the sex tours?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That just shows how sheltered you are.
I'm in America. Also, I hate the word cunt. Just goes to show how cunty I think you are. You're making me use my least favorite word. Repeatedly.
I'm going to bed know. This isn't worth me losing even more sleep. Go back to your showerhead, ya druggie whore.
P.S. HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA YOU PAID FOR SEX! YOU CAN'T GET LAID!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! Further proof. Judging from my time in Australia, only a MAN would use that awful word "cunt"
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quartermain, I am impressed by your knowledge of cultural cliches about Asian wimmin.
As a matter of fact, I have already participated in a sex tour of Thailand. It is fashionable amongst ladies from the wealthier parts of Asia such as Tawian. We prize the smooth skin and youthful beauty of Thai boys above big black cocks even.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It has nothing to do with the writing. That picture is just quite obviously ripped off from a website.
You're still a cunt.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pardon me, kristen, now I believe you ARE a woman
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Learn to read. I said sword FIGHT, not swordfish. A cunty slore like you should know what that means....
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, stupid me for leaving that writing on that picture! Bad stupid me!
Next post, I will put a 'real' picture up (one without any writing on it. Where could I possibly find a picture of a woman without any writing on it????)
Those pictures are probably of your daughters. Shame on you, you dirty old men!
And one of you even claims to be a lingerie model. You don't fool me, boys!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I were more sober. You would get it then. But I can't stop being happy. Here's my half-assed attempt...
I told you I would never use my showerhead again, implying that I do, in fact, know the joys of such a thing. Since such implications are lost on you, I will state it for the record:
I have used a showerhead. I know the experience well.
And while we're on the subject of showerheads, have you ever thought of deepthroating one in your gaping jaws? Drowning is supposed to be a cool way to go. Let's see how that works out for you.
Thanks a Tot!
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Trust me, both QA and Kristen are undoubtably women(and pretty ones at that).
**injecting heroin is rather lovely**
You're injecting heroin, and yet you're worried about getting 'hooked' on Ubersite? I think you've got bigger problems there.
5 will get you 10 you are a pit stop on one those Thai tourist pervert tours within a year.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:25:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, you're a twat.
My showerhead isn't removeable.
And P.S. You're more likely to be a man than either of us. Both of us have, after all, posted several REAL pictures of ourselves. You know, instead of ripping one off from some random website and claiming it was us.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think this 'queen' and 'kristen' must both be MEN! And rather callow youths, at that. How else could they not know of the joys of a 'girl's best friend', the shower head thing??
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Swordfish in the mouth, queen? I haven't heard that one before. I beg you to forgive me for a misunderstanding that seems to have arisen. At no stage did I accuse you of being anti-masturbation, I was merely puzzled as to how you could resist the pleasure of the shower head thing.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:17:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Never said you looked like her. Said you took your cue from her. READ, CHILD. I called you a preeteen skank. Do try and keep up.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
britney is a vulgar little slut of the lowest kind. look at my lovely face, its nothing like hers. and yes, i do feel guilty, queen, as I should be attending to my homework. Oh Matsu protect me, I hope I'm not hooked!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blech. I will never again be able to enjoy my showerhead. It will forever be tainted for me.
On a completely different note, Sonic's strawberry fresh-fruit slushee makes an excellent base for vodka. And my cup says "Thanks a Tot".
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please. I'll bet guys play swordfight in your mouth regularly.
For the record, I never said there was anything wrong with any form of masturbation. If your head wasn't so far up your ass, you'd do some research and see that I firmly advocate the use of pornography in the quest for self gratification. Moron.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
People discuss everything in here eventually. Its a marketplace of ideas.
As for the quality of my work, I write soley for my own amusement. If anyone else happens to like it, thats just a little extra frosting of approbation on the cake of my brilliance.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
queen, i have never done DVDA. My delicate Asian organs are not as accomodating as the gaping caverns I understand you white lasses possess.
Perhaps that has something to do with your reluctance to use the shower head method? Worried you'd get bloated up internally with all that water gushing in??
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"As for the bitches, let's give Britney thanks for the face that launched a billion preteen skanks."
I think this applies here.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 05:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't Uber at work. I'm a waitress. I just don't sleep. So tell me, cuntrag, you make that accusation, but you're here at the same time. Guilty conscience? I thought so. Slore.
I keed, I keed! I joke wit you!
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So queen, you like to uber at work? Working at 3am - don't tell me you're a lady of the night!?! Doesn't the computer get in the way? Or do you encourage your clients to use the doggie position, while you type away. Perhaps tonight was DVDA night, which would explain your foul temper.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
injecting heroin is rather lovely, my aussie friends have taught me that. It feels good. But overuse does have side-effects, I have observed.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:53:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have a point there Quatermain, and thanks for the English tip. I didn't say you were an idiot. Just that your work was rather poor quality.
Do people actually discuss books in here though?? That sounds a little far-fetched.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yes. We're all trapped here to have intelligent conversations with cool people and kill time at work. It's worse than Hell! It's UBERHELL! Oh, how will we ever escape this torment?
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
so Apollo, your first experience of orgasm was premature ejaculation? I hope you have recovered.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**ah quartermain, what can I say. YOU belong here.**
You say you want to improve your English? First lesson, proper names are capitalised.
Telling me I belong here is not really the insult you seem to think it is. I mean, there are worse fates...like having to be Al Franken.
Somehow I think I'll survive being condemned to associate with(for the most part)intelligent, literate people who are as willing to discuss comic books or movies as they are philosophy or politics.
Yeah, its pure Hell, but I'll slog through somehow
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you. I'm always like this.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I had sex before I masturbated.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pardon me queen, in addition to being tired, is it by any chance 'that time of the month'? I did say this was an "amusing" website. That is high praise. In the interests of balance and integrity, though, I do feel compelled to say that overuse of uber seems to have a negative effect on the development of literary talent.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's with all these cocksmoking morons coming to Uber, camping out, and going on about how pathetic the site is? No, really. If it's so pathetic, what does the fact that you're spending hours on here say about you? Go fuck a doberman.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see Queen, so poor Bart is trapped more than most, I guess. That's too bad
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My first orgasm: when I raped your mother your age + 9 months ago.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, crackwhore, Bart is the CREATOR of Ubersite.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, I just scrolled down to bart's review.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"When the orgasm came, it was an amazing mixture of pain and pleasure."
Undoubtedly written by a fifteen year old boy.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i've had a look at bart's work. He has some potential, if he could break free of the obvious seinfeld influence. And, like many of the uber writers, if he could break free of the influence of this amusing but ultimately infantile schoolboy website.
he'll never be an F. Scott Fitzgerald, of course.
ah quartermain, what can I say. YOU belong here.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, but the Impersonating-a-fictional-person thing has been done before. Even if you're name is Cindy, why post a picture of someone else? You're obviously a dumbass for thinking that would work and trying to pawn it off as you (with "Nana Hendrix" clearly written at the top corner).
-2 for being stupid.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 04:02:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**Quartermain's work seems of a low quality**
At first, I wasn't going to respond, as a response might provide you with a tiny bit of validation and prevent you from removing yourself from the gene pool.
But then I figured what the hell, it's 3 am, I'm bored.
As for taking advice from someone like you on 'quality', if I want the advice of a dullard, I'll slap you on the back of the head and wake up that little peg legged hamster that operates the drool-powered waterwheel of thought in there. Until then, sit in the corner and wait until someone either speaks to you or spits at you.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 03:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your face is of low quality.
I know, that was lame. Fuck it. It's four a.m. Let's see how witty you are after not sleeping for three days. Yeah, that's right. Fuck you.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 03:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not familiar with Bart's work
Quartermain's work seems of a low quality
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-20 03:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quartermain and bart are the best d00ds on Übersite.
oh yeah.... NEGATIVE FUCKING TWO.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There wasn't an actual rat. I was lying to my boss. I don't think he believed me, though.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hee hee hee at the rat.
summary of circumstances surrounding reported first orgasms so far:
one shower head thingy
one sheep and burlap sack
one episode of weird science
one rat pursuit with boyfriend.
And people don't believe my story???
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All you slants look the same anyway.
Theres your first shot of racism on uber, girl. Revel in it.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, i better confess. I feel a bit embarrassed, but i guess its best to tell the truth. that's not really my photo. My friend who recommended this site warned me not to put my real photo up
(and i can see for myself there are plenty of "sickos" in here, and quite a few of them from Australia)
But lots of friends in Taiwan have told me that I do look just like Nana. And I think she is hot hot hot!!!!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First orgasm; My husband (then boyfriend) went down on me as I was sitting on my desk my old office. My printer got knocked off the desk and broken. I said there had been a rat and I was trying to catch it to avoid getting in trouble for having sex in my office. There.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
queen, are you a girl?? are you saying you've never tried the shower head thing???? so many of my girlfriends use that method.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Heres my first orgasm story, since you are so interested.
I blew my load watching Weird Science.
End of story.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**when I sprayed it on my breasts it felt 'funny'.**
**When I sprayed the hot needles of water onto my special place, it felt even better and I just wanted that feeling to continue.**
There is absolutely no way this is real. Not a fucking chance. I can't make out the words on the picture, but it's clear that this pic was ripped off from some website.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
one of you thinks i'm a thirteen year old boy, someone else thinks i'm a thirty-nine year old man. doesn't this tell you guys something? Like you are dumb? I bet not one of you has the balls to tell your own first orgasm story truly. A girl might do it, but then you will probably not believe she is a girl.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 02:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nana? who is she? NOT that porn star slut, I hope! I've been told I resemble some famous porn star. Does a photo of this nana play a role in the story of your first orgasm, big boy?
I attend the Australian National University.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My first orgasm involved my cousin, a burlap sack and a sheep named 'Bubba' so, understandably, I'm reluctant to discuss it.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why is your name cindy wang and the picture have nana herindx on it?
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I call Shenanigans.
You say your studying in Australia then prove it, what university are you at?
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I think that picture is hot. But since when has anyone respected my opinion? Especially when it comes to sexual preference.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:42:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.. what a post.. some dude who is like 39 is writing this shit.. sickos.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"and c'mon, don't be shy. Let's here about YOUR first orgasm, big boys!"
Ok, now that's funny.
You're still a man.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bullshit, btw
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:19:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Not bad for a thirteen year old boy.
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
is this the famous baptism of fire? How exciting!!
and c'mon, don't be shy. Let's here about YOUR first orgasm, big boys!
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a bigger load of crap than 'Bowling for Columbine.'
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you.
Submitted by themonkey (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I remember reading this in a playboy, you know, those little articles at the bottom of the pictures.
-YES, PEOPLE READ THE ARTICLES.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-20 01:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not bad for a thirteen year old boy.