Ohhhhh Canada (6502 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.08 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2003-11-20 14:12:26 EST
The following is a gimmicky list of why Canada is awesome. (Not by Me.)
Smarties
Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
The size of our footballs fields and one less down
Baseball is Canadian
Lacrosse is Canadian
Hockey is Canadian
Basketball is Canadian
Apple pie is Canadian
Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
We don't marry our kin-folk.
We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
And we don't bomb our allies.
oh yeah... and our elections only take one day
User Reviews
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all true, though you did miss out that we have some fine grass, KM, and our health care kicks ass. Yes, thats right Americans, you can shoot me but i'll just go to the hospital and get stitched up, and the gov't will pick up the check becuase we dont spend all our money on bombs.
Submitted by Nicole at 2004-04-26 14:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
- I would hope so considering Mr. Rogers is dead"
..actually, Mr Dress-up is dead too
Submitted by iloveamerica (user info) at 2004-01-25 19:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
defender0417 is totally right hahaha
canada finds the stupidest things to try to be proud of. good for you if you made something wow America has made way more than canada ever has and continues to lead the world.
www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-12-11 02:57:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed defender's responses to these fact-oids even more than the post itself.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-23 18:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to go back to Muskoka, the most beautiful place in the world.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-11-23 18:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You people don't think these are good reasons as to why Canada kicks marginal ass?
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2003-11-23 18:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHA at defender.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-22 04:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
K.M.,
For someone who lived in Timmins, how can you still like Canada? Northern Ontario is the epitome of what's wrong with Canada. (As if I know what the word epitome means...did I just make that up?)
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-20 20:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fire your fact checker.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-11-20 20:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahah hey, once again, i didn't make this thing.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-20 20:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
KM - what's this about penicillin?
Wasn't Fleming British (discoverer) http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/dm28pe.html
And Florey (the developer) Australian? http://www.nobel.se/medicine/laureates/1945/florey-bio.html
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"In the war of 1812, started by America"
bullshit
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2003-11-20 19:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who said anything about ratio of smart people (yet even then america would still be higher than canada)? I just said America has more smart people, I guess you canadians cant read english, if you could you would realize of course America would have more smart people because there are more people in the country. Hey this reminds me of a joke, how did canada choose it's name? They couldn't think of anything decent so they decided to pull three letters out of a hat, the person who was reading the letters was canadian, the person who wrote them down was American. Here's what followed: C ehh N ehh D ehh. The American thought the stupid canadian was saying the letter A after each letter so thats what he wrote. (I know its a native american tribe, thats just a joke an old canadian geography teacher of mine always used to tell us)
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-20 17:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
defender0417,
Please...don't be so arrogant when insulting Canada. Rants don't solve anything. The facts speak loud enough. 1996 World Cupu of Hockey. USA 5 Canada 2.
laff,
You talk to, what, 5, maybe 100 Americans? There are over 300 million of them. Their Stupid people:Smart people ratio has to be better than Canada's. Just come to Kirkland Lake, Ontario to discover that.
Submitted by laff (user info) at 2003-11-20 17:23:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
America has more smart people???? You have to be kidding me. I talk to Americans all day on the phone and I have never talked to so many stupid people before..It's unreal..
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2003-11-20 17:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Smarties
- America has more smart people
Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
- America has real coffee from columbia, not that wanna be women crap
The size of our footballs fields and one less down
- Does that make you feel special or stupid
Baseball is Canadian
- Americans are better at it
Lacrosse is Canadian
- Your bragging about Lacrosse?
Hockey is Canadian
- Hockey is a good reason to fight, boxing is better, and Americans have the best boxers
Basketball is Canadian
- I hate basketball players
Apple pie is Canadian
- I hate apple pie
Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
- I would hope so considering Mr. Rogers is dead
Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
- I didn't realize that Donuts had an ass, what strange things canadians know
In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
- Wait a minute that was the British...not canadians...and if it wasn't for us they would be speaking german
Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
- Your bragging that you have a lot of french people? why don't you just give up already
We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
- So your saying that not only did you occupy Washington D.C. but your troops are still there?
Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
- Thats because your nation is full or drunkards and is small enough to fit in a bar.
The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
- That just goes to show you how fucked up the Canadian police force is, I mean really who would want to be a cop and wear red, its like asking to get shot, especially when there is snow all over the place you really stand out.
We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
- I've never heard of plaid, could you describe that one for me.
The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
- The worlds oldest company, older that Beretta, I think not. Italy has the oldest company in the world...
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
Americans don't need an entire dog sled team, we just need one pitbull
We don't marry our kin-folk.
- 1. Thats because your all ugly and 2. Alabama does not represent the rest of America
We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
- We invented the A-Bomb, and could use it on your loser county whenever we want. Your army also gets their main battle rifle from Colt (an american company).
We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
- Why do you keep bragging about stupid things?
And we don't bomb our allies.
- Thats because your airforce is too small and crappy to be needed to go on bombing runs.
oh yeah... and our elections only take one day
- Thats because unlike what you would like to think England still chooses who leads your country.
oh yea... In the words of Tucker Max "I've always been partial to Canadian Independence Day, because it seems like such a ridiculous holiday to me. Don't they know they exist at our whim?" No finer words were ever said about canada.
http://www.candy-fans.com/candy/films/can_bacon/bacon10.jpg
http://www.candy-fans.com/candy/films/can_bacon/bacon15.jpg
Submitted by yak_hunter <I_*Heart*_Yak_Meat.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-20 17:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well said, GrizzlyHunter62.
Submitted by Cup_of_Joe (user info) at 2003-11-20 16:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass"
"Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass"
====================================================================================================
Normally I never have a problem with what you post. In fact I find your stuff kind of funny. But this time you have gone way too far. If you think that's a fact then you need to stop smoking crack.
Thank you and drive thru
Submitted by sublime at 2003-11-20 16:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:15:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
you forgot alanis morisette and celine dion. -200000
and brian adams
nickelback
sum 41
avril lavigne
(i'm canadian too)
Submitted by jimmiss at 2003-11-20 16:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bryan Adams -2
SCTV and the cast +2
************************
Anyone who like sctv should be shot, then hung, then burned; Then their ashes should be rocketed into the sun.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:40:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why, you ask, does Canada compare everything to America? 'Cause most Canadians just KNOW that we're better than the USA. They don't know why...they just KNOW it. Most Canadians are more arrogant than Americans since they don't admit that while the USofA is one fucked-up country, it's 10 times better than Canada.
Here's my counter argument to all of that list:
----
The following is a gimmicky list of why Canada is NOT awesome. (by Me.)
Smarties — M&M's are just as good. It's just candy. Get over yourselves.
Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp — It's just candy. Get over yourselves
The size of our footballs fields and one less down — One less down means more punting. Who wants to watch punting?
Baseball is Canadian — Who cares? We suck at it now. Can't even run a Canadian Baseball League for more than a half season.
Lacrosse is Canadian — Our unfortunate national sport. How many Canadians even know how to play Lacrosse?
Hockey is Canadian — Wait, how many gold medals have we won in the past 50 years? ONE? USA has two.
Basketball is Canadian — Just two words: VANCOUVER GRIZZLIES
Apple pie is Canadian — McDonalds makes the best applie pie. Where ever you are.
Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass — It's a CHILDREN'S show. Do you think 5 year olds care about USA-Canada relations?
Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass — Well, Timmies is pretty good. I'm hard pressed to argue here.
In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
— Ok, so we won a war. The last time we defended our nation against something threatening it.
Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
— And I care about the French population why? What have they ever done for me (besides spend my tax dollars).
We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
— So we're, what, 1-0? Care to put the undefeated record on the line? Probably not, 'cause Canadians are pussies (I apologize to those in the armed forces. You're the last of a dying breed.)
Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour. — THERE WAS NO CIVIL WAR. Unless you count when Quebecois were putting bombs in mailboxes.
The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught. — Again, THERE WAS NO CIVIL WAR.
We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on. — I hate to tell you this, but Plaid is not cool unless you work in a mill.
The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
— Yeah? Now what does it own? Nothing. Who shops at The Bay anymore?
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. — They have Dog sleds in Alaska too
We don't marry our kin-folk. — No? How do you explain Canmore, Alberta?
We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year. — I could do without all of those. Except penicillin. I had pneumnoia (sp) three times as a kid.
We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it. — I haven't. I'm not stupid.
And we don't bomb our allies. — Canada doesn't even OWN anything to bomb with (see Cuban Missle Crisis). And what allies? We dont have any friends. Just countries that push us around and take our money.
oh yeah... and our elections only take one day — Does it matter how long they take? The Liberals always make it in anyway...why bother have an election? It's a fucking dictatorship.
By the way, I'm Canadian.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
velcro was invented by NASA
Submitted by orion (user info) at 2003-11-20 15:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody cares.
Submitted by A_Canadian at 2003-11-20 14:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
As a Canadian, I am tired of these shitty posts. Get off the U.S., this small dick syndrome that Canadians suffer from isn't going to magically disappear with the kind of thinking.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are beaver tails and putine in there?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You get +1 for that because I suspect it is true.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for CC!
Submitted by redhot_citrus <canadian1234.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-20 14:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very true. Canadians are often not given the recognition that they deserve for important inventions.
Two more for the list of what is great about Canada:
Our (always ice-cold beer)
Canadian Club
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
once again, a list that purports to prove Canada's awesomeness (which I certainly do not deny!) that uses America as reference material (i.e. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'.)
Almost everthing you listed involved us.
Do you have to compare everything to America to show how awesome your homeland is?
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think patriotism is nice, but putting other countries down to bring your own up is stupid and defeats the purpose. In fact, it will probably only convince people of the opposite.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bryan Adams -2
SCTV and the cast +2
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-11-20 14:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you forgot alanis morisette and celine dion. -200000