Death to frosty!!! (892 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.91 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Luther (View user info) at 2003-11-21 11:35:29 EST
It has begun. And I'm not happy about it.
This morning as I stumbled my sick ass into the office and settled down with my diet coke and the daily news it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Instead of the normal piped-in music that blares from the cieling speakers which normally consists of cheesy 80's songs, and occasionally throws in something from 1997, I hear the most awful sound EVER. My ears are being raped, still, even as I type. And it will continue until January. The sound, of course, is FUCKING CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!!!! Every now and then when they throw in a cheesy 80's song I actually enjoy it.
The problemisn't even so much the christmas music- which is indeed a problem for me- it's the fact that there aren't all that many christmas songs. Usually, with the cheesy 80's music, the same song usually plays at about the same time every day, give or take 30 minutes. But with this christmas shit, I hear the same song AT LEAST twice a day. No fucking wonder people get so stressed out at christmas time! When you subject someone to this tourture for 8 hours a day, I can see how it would make a person go fucking crazy! We must put an end to this torture. "Do you hear what I hear?" Yeah, un-fucking-fortunately, I DO. I say, DEATH TO FROSTY THE SNOWMAN!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I also have to share one little bit of office humor. This is completely off subject, but I didn't want to post twice or waste a post for this...
We are having a bake sale in my office today. Well, really I should say all of the old women in my office are having a bake sale today. They are having this event in our cafeteria. And when I went back there to get some chips from the vending machine something hilarious happened. Maybe it was just funny because I'm sick, you tell me....
As I'm making my selection from the vending machine (which, by the way, has NOTHING healthy in it) I hear a girl across the room start to speak very loudly to a friend of hers. Now, this girl is almost 40, JUST moved out of her parents house, and extremely bitter to the world because she's never had a boyfriend and weighs about 250 lbs- literally. So she turns to her friend and says "People should spend the extra five cents on the chocolate covered pretzels I made. They are SO much more healthy than potato chips!" I just busted up laughing... does that make anyone else chuckle? My advice to fate people: don't give advice about what's healthy and what's unhealthy. For fuck's sake. heh heh *snort*
I love you, SpikeGoddess.
User Reviews
Submitted by UltraJesus4000 (user info) at 2003-12-09 18:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
and so the hurricane captured the windmill after threatening the postman.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-21 17:02:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh no you don't. No keyboard for me.
You take that thing and do what you know must be done. sabotage the sound system.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 16:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*looking around the room*
Where are you?!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-21 16:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The sound, of course, IS FUCKING CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!!"
I can see you ripping the keyboard off and smashing the nearest person with it.
Boss: Ok, time out for you, take the rest of the day off.
Luther: !!!!!! (holds keyboard menacingly)
Boss, Uhm, administrative leave until after christmas..
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"And so I'm offering this simple phrase..." "...fuck you, crappy office christmas music!!!!!"
"And it's been said, many times, many ways..." ... no more christmas, music
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Simply ha-a-aving a..." horrible day today.....
I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 14:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit Luther. It's called proofreading.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 14:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"our cheeck are nice and rosy..." because we can't stand this bile nose any longer...
And in regaurds to my super charged hair drier- I have very thick hair, I need the super charged hair drier so I don't waste 15 minutes drying my hair. It takes me 5, max, with my little black beauty. So there. heh heh *snort*
Wait......... it it "hair drier" or "hair dryer"?!?! I think I've been grossly misspelling. Eh. Oh well....
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2003-11-21 13:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel for you.
I work in a small two story office with high ceilings, open spaces, and a large open stairway in the front of the building. Every year around Christmas they stick a stereo on the "landing" on the stairs and blast Christmas music for weeks. It drives me crazy. Not only that, but they decorate everything with fake wreaths and fake tree branches and shit. Then they put up a nativity (sp?) scene in the main entry way. And they have a "birthday cake" at Christmas for you know who.
And, the pretzel side story was kind of funny.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2003-11-21 13:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That movie Luther was pretty decent.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2003-11-21 13:02:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh how true this is. First of all, once I became a heathen-type, I realized just how pervasive all things Christmas are in this country. Every now and again you might see a speck of blue and white or a single forlorn dreidel, but mostly it's a 24/7 assault on my nervous system with Christmas Crap. Want to have some fun with a Chistian? Ask them what the tree has to do with the baby Jesus. When they don't know, tell them the history of how Christians incorporated pagan practices into their holidays and leave them utterly confused. I don't blame them for doing it, really. Pagans know how to throw a party.
I sound like the Grinch.
I feel like the Grinch today. *crawls into a cave above the town and yells at people all day*
Thank Goddess my lobby is safe from music of other people's choosing. If I want music, I have to sing it to myself.
As to the fat lady, I think that it goes to show that a lot of people are fat because they're ignorant to nutrition. I'd say that her pretzels MIGHT be marginally better for you if they don't have hydrogenated fats, and chocolate does have antioxidants, but they're not better if you're on a diet, as they probably are more caloric.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Frosty the snow man was a very happy soul..." ...until I whipped out my super charged hair drier on his ass.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only a gay man would have a super charged hair drier.
Man i wish i got pot for christmas. But im getting plane tickets to Ubermeet, almost as good!
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm deaming of a white christmas..." and some white noise instead of this crap... may we all be merry and deaf.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
heh heh heh heh heh *snort* loki you just made me snarf my soda. That's right... when I read "smoke lunch" I snorted my soda out my nose. ALLLLLLLL down the front of me. Good thing I'm wearing a black sweater today.. in the 60 degree weather I didn't know we were getting..... Oh, and Loki, don't forget about desert... Krutsy Swamp, here she comes!!!!!!!!! heh heh *snort*
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no no no no no NOOOOOO Poor Luther
That has to be an OSHA violation. I worked in the mall in college and EEEGGHH I'm having flashbacks. It would be one thing if they played The Nutcracker or something but oh hell no.
Wait, can you say that this is religious harassment or something?
Speaking of good nutrition decisions, has anyone seen the new Subway ads? The general theme is that if you eat Subway for lunch, you can roll up a whole pizza and eat it like a burrito and still be healthy.
I'm going home to smoke lunch now. As a side note: woo hoo I got paid today. Do you know what this means, this means that all the numbers in Quicken go from red to black today. Oh they turn red again before too long but not today.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm lucky. The Christmas music we play at my house on Christmas is the only Christmas music I've ever heard that I like. We listen to two records (yes records):
1. A Reggae Christmas
2. A Boney M. (see stoner reggae singer) Christmas.
Those albulms kick absolute ass.
for example, the version of 'the 12 days of christmas' where every other day, the gift is pot.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I will keep her, and love her, and pet her, and squeeze her, and call her George."
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and Nat... I love you, too. You and SpikeGoddess rock. Can I keep you? heh heh *snort*
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-11-21 11:59:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They don't allow us to have speakers. I'm telling you man, *twitching* this is fucking tourture. Right now I'm listening to a rendition of Jingle Bells that makes me want to rip someone's head off and poop on it. I think it's by boyz2men if that helps you understand my pain...
"Santa Clause is coming to town.." ...And I'll be waiting with a sawed-off shotgun.
"Frosty the snow man was a very happy soul..." ...until I whipped out my super charged hair drier on his ass.
"Silent night..." ...how about we try a fucking silent day, too?!
More later, maybe.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-21 11:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking goddamn Christmas music.
I must be bad, too, because I find that office story pretty damn funny. It's sad though. In our cafeteria they always offer a 'healthy' alternative. On Fridays they have fish. One kind is battered and fried, the other is baked. AND SWIMMING IN BUTTER! People just don't know..sheesh.
*snort*
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-21 11:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Streaming Audio. aka Shoutcast.
Gets me throught the day.