This Year, I'm Thankful That I Get To See My Grandfather One Last Time (687 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.71 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Quartermain (View user info) at 2003-11-21 10:11:46 EST
My grandfather is dying.
I have mixed feelings about this, to be honest. About ten/twelve years ago my grandfather was diagnosed with diabetes. He was cautioned that if he changed his diet and took the most basic precautions, there was no reason why he couldn't manage to live out his divinely mandated fourscore and ten. He ignored this advice and continued to live on Pepsi and Oreos and big pieces of pie, etc, etc.
I look at him and, as much as I love my grandfather, I can't help feeling that this situation he is in is pretty much his own damn fault. He was given every opportunity to change his ways and to amend his behaviour. In addition to the scads of medical advice, various family members have at different times begged, pleaded, cajoled, and threatened him, but he stubbornly clung to his routines and old habits, though, and is now paying the price. He is three-quarters blind, half deaf and has no feeling in his legs below the knee. He is still about 50 pounds overweight and it is all he can do to shuffle from his bed to his recliner. He is losing control of his bodily functions and his faculties. It's more and more obvious every year that he is on his way out.
The sheer wasteful folly of it blows my mind. Sometimes it makes me want to grab him and shake him and yell 'CAN YOU NOT SEE WHAT YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS DOING TO YOUR FAMILY?!' This in turn makes me feel guilty. I know that when he does die, that he will be welcomed into the arms of The Saviour and that I will see him again, in the fullness of time. That being said, I wouldn't mind a little more time spent with him here on Earth, too, you know?
Where this really hits home is that my father and my grandfather are very much alike, as well as my father and I being very much alike. My father and I both see my grandfather's failings in ourselves. Neither of us shows it to such a huge extent as ignoring a life threatening disease, but it is from the little acorns of your everyday actions, that the oak tree of your life grows. While aging into the type of man my grandfather was in general would be a good thing, it would not be a bad thing if some of the specific behaviours might be avoided. Both of us have taken steps to avoid my grandfather's vices, while trying to retain his virtues.
So, this holiday season, what am I thankful for?
-My grandfather, for helping me learn things he doesn't even know he's teaching.
-My father, for giving me someone to aspire to be.
-The fact that my professors and employer are understanding enough to let me off for an extra three days during Thanksgiving week, so I can make the trip to W. Va to see my grandfather for what might be one of the last times.
Given the circumstances, though, here is what I'm most thankful for:
User Reviews
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-01-20 04:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
**Death should never be brought up online.**
Tell that the legions of depressed mimes(read:goths)who get off on obssessing about death and darkness, etc. That and everyone who has ever put up a memorial web page.
Submitted by MmmVag (user info) at 2004-01-20 03:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Death should never be brought up online.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-21 15:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have diabetes. Diagnosed at 7 years old. I can't imagine making the adjustments now (at 25) that I had to make then. It would be 10 times as hard to do at a much older age like your grandfather. It comes down to a quality of life issue. Some people would rather continue living similar to how they did before diagnosis, thinking that extending life by 5~10 years requires too high a cost be paid. Personally, I fall somewhere in the middle.
Diabetes is such a dangerous disease because it leaves so much of the responsibility for health in the afflicted person's hands. It takes a GREAT deal of discipline to live the life of a healthy diabetic.
Ooops, my toe just fell off. Gotta go.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-21 14:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
**Only a +1 because of the unneeded jesus picture.**
Look at it this way, if I hadn't included the picture, the post would have ended with the colon. While that may be a good way to cap off a digestive system, its not a good way to end a post.
**I know what this is like, my grandma is taking on cancer for the fourth time with heavy Kemo, she won't last a year the doctors said.**
My mother fought a brain tumour with chemo and radiation for three years. Thankfully, she's still around
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-11-21 13:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, that's some shitty timing. I'm sorry about your losses.
Submitted by jgirly (user info) at 2003-11-21 13:29:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's so sad. My husband and I are going home (well, home to him anyway) to Modesto to see his Grandpa for Thanksgiving. He's really sick and just really old. He says he's ready to go, he's lived a full life. It's really hard for my husband though. At lease he was able to make it to our wedding in sept., my husband was so happy he just hugged his grandfather and cried.
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-21 13:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Praise the Lawd Jebus!
I've lost two grandfathers this year to heart attacks and one grandmother to cancer. It is rough shit watching them die slowly. I'm sorry, and may God and Jebus be with you.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-11-21 12:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
I'm not religious, but if you're not pushing Jesus on me, I respect your mentioning him and the picture and everything. That's unfortunate about your grandfather, but if he's suffering, he's probably better off on the other side, whatever that may entail.
As for his eating habits, what the hell is the point of living if you can't have your Pepsi and Oreos?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-21 11:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know what this is like, my grandma is taking on cancer for the fourth time with heavy Kemo, she won't last a year the doctors said.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-21 10:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"...welcomed into the arms of The Saviour..."
Who's that? Wesley Clark? Lebron James? Oprah? You have to be more specific.
Fucking Christians. Eat flaming death.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as we hate some of the decisions other people make, sometimes all we can do is butt out so as to not take away their dignity and right as a human being to make decisions for themselves. If that makes sense. People will do what they will do.
I hope you have a good visit with him :) I wish I'd been able to see my grandfather before he died of lung cancer.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only a +1 because of the unneeded jesus picture.
I remember when my grandfather was dying from Alhzeimers (sp?). It was horrible. He had lived the American dream, moving from sicilian to live in American. He was in WW2 as a journalist. He raised too kick ass daughters. Then he slowly loses his mind. Fucking sucks.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post. Hats off to you.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No. Still the same. I don't think I got any emails from you for a long time. . .
Yes, I'm calling you fat. But I still wuv you.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drink, did you change your e-mail? I've sent lots this semester. Or maybe you hate me. Are you calling me fat? You bastard. I hate you.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My aunt Pakita died of a heart attack last year. She had diabetes, too, and didn't take care of herself. But we aren't angry with her, because she had a very hard life, and if not worrying about food and indulging in pie made her last years just a little more bareable, then good for her.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-11-21 10:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
This holiday season I'm thankful for:
Being back in the U.S.!!!
Internet porn.
My health and my family's.
DVD porn.
Watching football with my dad.
Pay per view porn.
and Quartermain finding faith where I sure as hell wont.