Get Some Fucking Control! (718 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.15 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beau <Party03> (View user info) at 2003-11-24 12:27:32 EST
"#33, your order is ready!"
I finally received my delicious, chicken club sandwich after waiting around
for about a half an hour. I made my way over the closest table available,
and set my food down. Eagerly, I unwrapped the sandwich from its paper
prison, and savored the aroma lofting up. I looked at my lunch and thought
to myself "I am good to me," as I lifted the sandwich up to my mouth.
Closer and closer it came to my mouth, my long awaited meal was almost
there.
Suddenly from the far corner of Burger King I heard the loudest shriek in my
entire life. My arms jerked, and I got an eye full of sesame seed bun,
bacon, lettuce, and chicken.
I looked to see what all the commotion was, and some little shit was
screaming because there wasn't enough room in the ball pit at the play place
for him.
Fine, I can deal with this.
Next, a family of three sat down next to me. This family consisted of a
wife, a father, and their little pride and joy of a toddler. The father
stood up and went to go place the order for the rest of the family.
Turns out, junior over there doesn't enjoy French fries. How do I know?
I'm still digging salt out of my hair from the multiple projectiles that I
took in the noggin while his parents were looking away.
I can handle this as well; I'm pretty easy going.
Finally, I was finished eating, and I left this cursed hellhole. I had some errands to run, so I drove to the grocery store. I savored the relative quiet of this place. No screaming little fuckers. No projectile deep fried potatoes. It was just a nice shopping experience, or so I thought. Needless to say, when I got to the checkout line, I heard a horrendous shriek from behind me.
Apparently, little Johnny was a little pissed because mommy wouldn't buy him twelve fucking pounds of candy. This little fucker was screaming, jumping, and carrying on so badly that when I looked at the mother I could see the pure embarrassment on her face.
Then this brat made the wrong move. He wasn't paying attention to where he was hopping, and landed square on my left pinky toe.
I was fucking pissed!
I had the strongest urge to look the little fucker in the eye, and tell him, "If you don't shut the fuck up, someone's probably going to throw you through the window. Oh yeah, and mommy will stop loving you too."
I never got the chance to as it was now my turn to pay and leave. As I made my way to my car, I realized that parents need to spank their children more often.
Why oh why can't people control their own kids?
Now I realize that this is a subject that has probably been beaten to death, but mother fucker I need to vent.
User Reviews
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-10 17:33:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just incase there's some confusion, that was for the asshat dontwanttotell or some shit like that below.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-10 17:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God no! My beautiful 1.11 rating! You really are an asshat.
Submitted by littledan <kornmunky44> at 2003-12-10 17:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" I had the strongest urge to look the little fucker in the eye, and tell him, "If you don't shut the fuck up, someone's probably going to throw you through the window. Oh yeah, and mommy will stop loving you too." "
+2 for that line alone. hahahahahahaha
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2003-12-10 17:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I realized that parents need to spank their children more often."
Amen, preach it, roger that, affirmative, absolutely correct, yes indeedy.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by dontwanttotellyou (user info) at 2003-12-10 17:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you give me a low score igive you one stupidass
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-24 17:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the difference between when a child deserves boredom, or a good old fashioned ass beating, is dependant on the severity of the situation. If a kid will respond to boredom, then fine that works. However, for some kids, a time out, or stern talking to just isn't enough and that is when I emplore parents...disipline your children! Let's be clear on this, feel free to spank them until their ass is bright red. You know your parents did it to you, don't be afraid to do it to your children.
It is NOT child abuse to swat your kid in a publis place if they won't behave. Feel free. Noone will think less of you for it.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-24 16:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know.
I mean, if you don't discipline your kids, how do you expect a teacher to do it once they get back to school. I figure some kids need a good beating, but some just need some boredom time, like godchicken said. You have to figure out at an early age which they are.
I was the kind who just needed boredom time...but I got beat anyway. Oh well, I turned out ok. haha
Submitted by Mindheavy (user info) at 2003-11-24 16:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids will not learn with out a good ass whoopin and that picture is funny as hell.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-24 15:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren - Whats with all the attention today? Are finally getting excited at the chance of meeting me in a couple weeks. I know, i know. Your kinda excited, kinda afraid, and alittle nervous all at the same time. It will be ok. I'll be gentle.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-24 14:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki- good one, I'll have to try that line some time.
Manfre- I'm going to go out and enforce this new rule. "In accordance with Manfre statute 1.1.1 I'm going to have to issue you an ass beating with this big rock. Have a nice day."
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-24 14:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I also believe that when a case is brought against you from Dyfus on hitting your kid saying "He deserved it" is a proper defense and closes the case.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-24 14:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think there should be an unwritten rule stating if you see a child acting like a punk ass spoiled brat and their parents dont discipline them then youre allowed to hit the parent over the head with a big rock and the child gets pushed down the stairs.
There Ive just not written this rule. We are now allowed to beat parents that are letting their children run amuck with a big rock and the child is allowed to be thrown down stairs.
I like this new rule.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-24 14:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell him that he's adopted and should behave better or his new family will send him back.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:34:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Children should be thrashed once in awhile. It puts things into perspective.
Small children, such as 4 and under, should not receive corporal punishment.
There's something worse:
Boredom.
My 2 year old stepson did something wrong. I made him sit next to me on the couch for 30 minutes while I read a book. No tv, no music, no movement, not even any pictures in the book.
Within 5 minutes he was in a complete toddler tantrum rage, because he was so bored it HURT.
by the time that cool-down period of 30 minutes was up, you could be certain he wasn't going to do whatever it was again.
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Boredom as a punishment? Nah. A switch is much better to instill a sense of "dont do that again."
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:45:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Manfre -
Little Richie asked you for candy?
Ahahahahaha!
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Yeah I couldnt think of another name. What of it? Bring it on!
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:44:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my fucking god this is perfect.
all it was lacking (and i hope to see this someday) is the part where you bitchslap the little kid and send him flying down the bread aisle.
Believe me, it's bound to happen. How come kids aren't the sweet innocent little angels that I was when I was a munchkin?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Manfre -
Little Richie asked you for candy?
Ahahahahaha!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my fucking god this is perfect.
all it was lacking (and i hope to see this someday) is the part where you bitchslap the little kid and send him flying down the bread aisle.
Submitted by Emily <browneyedgirl123.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-24 13:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't agree more.
Submitted by Lea <Starzz8585.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-11-24 13:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It made me laugh. Some kids do need control....just slap em
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:19:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:05:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm looking forward to beating my children.
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Couldnt have said it better myself.
Theyre gonna get ass kickings regurlarly. Youll be able to set a clock to it even.
My plan is to beat the living piss outta them whenever they do anything wrong while theyre young. This way theyll associate something wrong with an ass kicking.
Kinda like when you shove a dogs nose in the turn it just left on your living room carpet. Except instead of shoving their faces in it Im just gonna shove my foot up their ass.
I figure if they keep misbehaving theyll die from the beatings. I mean if they were good children they wouldnt die. Theyd behave and not get beat.
Ill beat whoever says I beat my children too much too.
Little Richie asks for candy and I say no and he asks his mom instead? That bag of candy gets used as a beating utensil.
Doesnt finish his broccoli? He gets hit with a bunch of frozen broccoli.
Flushes his toys down the toilet? Flush his arm down the toilet till it gets ripped off.
Wets his bed? I make him sleep in his own feces for 2 months. Outside. In winter.
Talks back to me? Gets a bat to the skull.
My kid will be able to take a good ass whooping when he gets older.
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Children should be thrashed once in awhile. It puts things into perspective.
Small children, such as 4 and under, should not receive corporal punishment.
There's something worse:
Boredom.
My 2 year old stepson did something wrong. I made him sit next to me on the couch for 30 minutes while I read a book. No tv, no music, no movement, not even any pictures in the book.
Within 5 minutes he was in a complete toddler tantrum rage, because he was so bored it HURT.
by the time that cool-down period of 30 minutes was up, you could be certain he wasn't going to do whatever it was again.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:05:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm looking forward to beating my children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Couldnt have said it better myself.
Theyre gonna get ass kickings regurlarly. Youll be able to set a clock to it even.
My plan is to beat the living piss outta them whenever they do anything wrong while theyre young. This way theyll associate something wrong with an ass kicking.
Kinda like when you shove a dogs nose in the turn it just left on your living room carpet. Except instead of shoving their faces in it Im just gonna shove my foot up their ass.
I figure if they keep misbehaving theyll die from the beatings. I mean if they were good children they wouldnt die. Theyd behave and not get beat.
Ill beat whoever says I beat my children too much too.
Little Richie asks for candy and I say no and he asks his mom instead? That bag of candy gets used as a beating utensil.
Doesnt finish his broccoli? He gets hit with a bunch of frozen broccoli.
Flushes his toys down the toilet? Flush his arm down the toilet till it gets ripped off.
Wets his bed? I make him sleep in his own feces for 2 months. Outside. In winter.
Talks back to me? Gets a bat to the skull.
My kid will be able to take a good ass whooping when he gets older.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, it is true that the threat can be worse than an actual ass whooping, but some of these kids really deserve it. I guess that's why God invented Bullies.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm looking forward to beating my children.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-24 13:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Reallybored - if you think it will help, I'll whoop your ass. Or put the fear of God in you....
whichever comes first.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-24 12:59:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you know that the average person, at age 72, waits in line for EIGHT YEARS of their lives.
I just made that up.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-24 12:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually im against the ass whooping. Not because im all touchy feely, but because you the fear of an asswhooping is scaryier.
My dad use to scare the fucking shit out of me, everytime i fucked up. Needless to say that the fear of him kept me in line during times i coulda really fucked up. Then one time i really pissed him off and he did hit me. I then realized it wasnt so bad, and my life has gone downhill since.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2003-11-24 12:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Parents should be issued baseball bats (not foam) upon receiving a birth certificate. Also, a class on "where not to bring you screaming kid" should be enforced as mandatory parental training.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-24 12:29:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup. Nothing wrong with an occassional ass whupping.