You Pick It I Write It (1408 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.83 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <joe.momma.at.jm.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-25 20:14:59 EST
I've written a couple of things for fun, and now I'm fresh out of ideas. Anyone can volunteer a subject and then I will attempt to write a funny, or touching, or whatever piece about it. I want to write something that will be posted on the boredatwork.com page (my other posts have not been posted on that site for some reason despite having over 8,000 hits). Who decides what is posted on that page? Anyway, it's up to you to give me a topic and then I will attempt to write about it. Whaddya' got for me?
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nellypaal is a fucking faggot, but this is a work of art.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE
write about that
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84193
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
55667
Submitted by Mr._Positive (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:43:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
455
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Write about Lisa's ass. Every guy wants to know more about that.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 15:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here is the link to the post I wrote the story about (it is now #1 on the most heated list). I took the first suggestion by Sublime and ran with it (see first post below). His suggestion was Surrogate Mothers so I decided to write about pregnant women. Please enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
Thanks to Sublime for the subject matter, you helped me get to on the most heated list for the fourth time and all the way to #1 for the third time.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 15:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Herpes, you faggot motherfucker. Why don't you get a fucking life you fucking loser. You are obsessed with me and I see you respond to all of my posts and you know what's great about that? You don't fucking get it. You are my favorite kind of asshole and I want you to read everything I write. Guess what fuckwad, you're hooked.
Thanks for making me the most heated writer and thanks for being such a dipshit. I will continue to step on pathetic losers like you on my way to the top. Please keep reading and writing to me because you'll keep me #1. I couldn't do it without you.
The average Howard Stern fan listens to the show for 126 minutes, while the average Howard Stern hater listens for 220 minutes. Guess who's contributing more to his success?
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-11-27 02:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I pick my ass, want to write about that?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2003-11-27 02:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=10699168326303421
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
joe i'm not a hitwhore like you. i dont write to get myself on the most heated list. i just write for the fun of it. don't like it? dont read it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here is the link to the post I wrote the story about. I took the first suggestion by Sublime and ran with it (see first post below). His suggestion was Surrogate Mothers so I decided to write about pregnant women. Please enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phinch, what the hell was that piece of shit you wrote? That fucking sucked.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:05:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually party03, i found a suprising amount of juice...
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069830278494523796
see joe, just one link. otherwise its annoying.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:29:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here is the link to the post I wrote the story about. I took the first suggestion by Sublime and ran with it (see firt post below). His suggestion was Surrogate Mothers so I decided to write about pregnant women. Please enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:20:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Phinch, You mind if I try that title if you're out of juice? I don't know how good I could do with it, but I think I could have some fun with it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here is the link to the post I wrote the story about. I took the first suggestion by Sublime and ran with it. His suggestion was Surrogate Mothers so I decided to write about pregnant women. Please enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sublime had the first reply to my request for a topic so I decided to write about pregnant women (he suggested surrogate mothers), please go read it and enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
I based it on the first submission by sublime:
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:17:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
chronicles of a surrogate mother
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
sublime had the first reply to my request for a topic so I decided to write about pregnant women (he suggested surrogate mothers), please go read it and enjoy:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
I based it on the first submission by sublime:
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:17:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
chronicles of a surrogate mother
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106982293675033971
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
man juice, girl juice, cheese juice...
it don't matter, i am dried up. I need juice.
actually.. i may have a sip of juice now... cheese juice...
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-11-25 23:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are they frosted cheerios? Or just plain shitty cheerios. Or is one frosted and the others plain shitty cheerios?
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-25 22:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-25 22:27:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
damnit. i have no juice. i cant write "These Four Cheerios Hold The Fate of the World"
i have been out of juice for weeks.
need juice.......
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man-juice?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 22:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
one thing, phinch, the tale needs to have cheese in it. somewhere. cheese doesn't have to have a big role, just a mention at least. yes. or i will hunt you down and do you...
...
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-25 22:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
damnit. i have no juice. i cant write "These Four Cheerios Hold The Fate of the World"
i have been out of juice for weeks.
need juice.......
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-25 22:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One cheerio to bind them all.
Look, fucknut, you can't remember a password that YOU MADE UP and I'm the moron? If you lose your car keys, does that make me a total idiot?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 22:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
please, phinch, do.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I didn't write the story yet because I was writing a response to a stupid post about a guy being raped, here is our exchange:
JoeAverage: If you're a guy and you get raped by a guy than you're a pussy. If you're a guy and you get raped by a girl you're a liar (unless she's over two bills, then I believe you). If you're a transexual and you get raped by a donkey, you're probably Canadian. Ess2s2, I'm going to answer all of your points below, by the way, is your name pronounced ass 2 ass (you turd pusher).
Ess2s2: Joe Average, what planet are you from? Do you find your comment to be extremely witty?
JoeAverage: Earth. Yes, extremely.
Ess2s2: Let me tell you something, you want to try fighting back when you are drunk? When the other guy is 3 times bigger than you? You want to try fighting when you have a knife to your throat or a gun to your head? Do you really believe that everyone is on a level ground when it comes to altercation? Or do you just think you are invincible and you gauge all others by that standard?
JoeAverage: Just because you are drunk doesn't mean you can't fight back, every heard of beer muscles? There are no guys 3 times bigger than me. If some fucking fag was trying to rape me I don't care if I had a knife or a gun to my head I would fight until the death and so would any straight, red-blooded American. No, I don't think there are many people at my level when it comes to altercations, however, if you are a total wimp and some guy is forcing your head in his lap anyone (even a sissy bitch like you) can throw a punch to his nutsack.
Ess2s2: When you get a bit older and/or wiser, you may discover there are situations you can't fight your way out of, there are situations you can't bullshit your way out of.
JoeAverage: I'm wise enough to know that if you can't fight your way out of a situation, you can bullshit your way out of it and vice versa (always).
Ess2s2: Bad shit happens to people every day because they are under the false assumption that what is out there can't or won't touch them. That's why a guy will sit at a bar in a strange town and get drunk and have some guy drag him out to his car and drive him up to a remote turnout and hold a 9mm handgun to his head and tell him to go down on him. Does that situation make him a pussy? No. It makes him a victim and it makes him helpless because you can't bargain with a bullet.
JoeAverage: What is out there won't touch you if you don't walk around in high heels with your wang hanging out of your fly. If you don't get completely hammered in a gay bar in a strange town by yourself wearing a pair of assless chaps and knee pads this will not happen to you. It sounds to me like you are a closet fag with a male rape fantasy with your "drive him up to a remote turnout and hold a 9mm handgun to his head and tell him to go down on him" talk. You love this situation because it lets you be the homo you've always wanted to be without feeling any guilt about it because you were "forced" or "raped" (I got news for you cupcake, you can't rape the willing). And yes that situation makes him a huge pussy, if he would go down on a guy instead of fighting back than yes he is a complete and utter pussy. I think you need to go back out onto the street and turn tricks at whatever fairy corner you work. Get a life you fruit and keep your fantasies to yourself.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phinch, feel free to take that one.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
can i write that yes?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 21:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I vote for my "These Four Cheerios Hold The Fate of the World" again.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Keep giving me suggestions and I'll write a couple of stories.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was inspired by the first post here:
Sublime: chronicles of a surrogate mother
I'm going to write something now and then I will post the link on this page so everyone can see.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-25 21:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
How about:
"AverageJoe Sucking at Life; The story of one woman's fight against adversity"
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I am now enlightened. Anything else about this site that I should know (guide for noobs)?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 20:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yup, Joe, that is what I am saying. Bart created Übersite and bored@work and is the only person in charge. This is a monarchy, and Bart is our Lawd. PRAISE JEBUS!
check Bart's user info, he is user 1.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bargled, I already did that (except it was a bottle of methadone). See ratings below the Women: SHUT THE FUCK UP story:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106920231026572212
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I took a whole bottle of Asprin and now I cant feefl gmyghf ingerzsgh"
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, are you telling me bart runs the show? He's the one who decides what post to stick on boredatwork.com? If that's the case . . . bart's the man, I bet he has a huge cock and probably a big set of balls too!
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:32:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
bart, you fucking moron (and what a loser to try to count up all of my hits) I also wrote Canada Sucks (Fuck Canada) as many people already know (can't remember the password for FuckCanada, my first screen name on this site).
Women: SHUT THE FUCK UP (4119 hits)
Canada Sucks (I Hate Canada) (2858 hits)
Puppies and Lollipops (1113 hits)
Michael Jackson Jokes (299 hits)
Total hits 8,389 you fucking retard. Now apologize and suck my dick.
----------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069421664631610993
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HOw about "WOW! My nuts finally dropped." or,
"The Joys of Cooking Canadians."
I wonder which one you'd pick.
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 20:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
use caution when pissing on the Über-God's head.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bart, you fucking moron (and what a loser to try to count up all of my hits) I also wrote Canada Sucks (Fuck Canada) as many people already know (can't remember the password for FuckCanada, my first screen name on this site).
Women: SHUT THE FUCK UP (4119 hits)
Canada Sucks (I Hate Canada) (2858 hits)
Puppies and Lollipops (1113 hits)
Michael Jackson Jokes (299 hits)
Total hits 8,389 you fucking retard. Now apologize and suck my dick.
Submitted by LongDongSilver (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Queen of Clean's Dirty Little Secret
How I made Dr.Phil Cry
I smacked him with a boat paddle yelling "Schnitzel! Schnitzel! Schnitzel!"
Growing Catnip in your Basement
A Voyage into the Pooper
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-25 20:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"These Four Cheerios Hold The Fate of the World"
Bart is God of all things Über and bored@work, fyi.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some good ideas here, keep going. Maybe I'll try to combine some of them.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe your other posts aren't on boredatwork.com because:
a) They're not interesting
b) You can't add: 4000 + 1000 + 300 is in fact < 8000
Here's a suggestion for your next post:
"I'm a Big Boy" and Other Things I Say to Myself in the Mirror
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I got in the guinness book of records for the smallest erect penis"
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My life as the Carnival Man.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I built my house on an old chemical waste dump.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sleazus and the technicolor spoogecoat
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:21:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't say "Your Mama" to Oedipus Rex.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-25 20:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
chronicles of a surrogate mother