Pregnant Women Are Pigs (9776 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.5 on 220 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <joe.momma.at.jm.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-26 00:02:16 EST
If you're pregnant you are not beautiful, put down the Oprah magazine that's been lying to you and get ready for the truth bitch. In the 1950's they used to send pregnant women away to have their babies and when they came back they weren't fat pigs any more. There used to be a great deal of shame and embarrassment if you were pregnant and I think we need to get back to that. Women today wear belly shirts that show off their sloppy fatness, their putrid stretch marks, and their sickening blue veiny flesh. They are called half-tops because only half of women should wear them . . . like the hot skinny girls considerate enough not to have babies. The most disgusting part of all is their belly-button that sticks out so far Richard Simmons accidentally performs fellatio on it.
Pregnant women are notoriously selfish with their unreasonable demands. "I need to go to Lamaze class, I need to have pre-natal care, I need you to stop punching me in the stomach." It's always about what she needs, what about what I need (like needing her to SHUT THE FUCK UP). Pregnant women are no fun anymore, they never want to drink or smoke-up or do any of the things that made us want to keep them around in the first place. They also refuse to work for nine months and instead of working they just sit on their fat lazy asses and get fucking fatter.
One advantage of being with a pregnant bitch is that you don't have to use protection because the whore is already knocked up. The only problem is her bush gets so hairy it's easy to get confused and stick it in her dirty pooper (pregnant women drop notoriously huge logs that get snarled in their freakishly long pregnancy pubes). This disgusting extra hair growth brought on by the rush of millions of hormones cover both stink holes making them indistinguishable. I know a guy who's banged a pregnant broad and he said when she pulled down her pants it was like looking at Don King eating a shit sandwich (with extra corn).
The worst thing about pregnant women is how evil they are. It's a fact that pregnant women pass diseases on to their unborn babies like AIDS, just out of spite. Pregnant women are pigs and it's okay for you to cheat on them.
User Reviews
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-29 19:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just think about how tiny your penis is and you'll have all the hate in the world.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 21:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To tell you the truth Linus I am just trying to get myself back in a hateful mood for the hate contest I entered. I'm kind of grasping for straws here because my hearts just not in it. I have to get in fighting shape for the contest so I decided to spar with you. I've got some ring rust because I've been out of the game for a while but you didn't really give me anything to work with either. I have to say you're more like the heavy bag that doesn't hit back.
Getting strong now, won't be long now, getting strong now
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-28 18:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL
You're so cute, Joey. Have fun with whatever it is you're trying to prove to yourself.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you trapped in the closet? R. Kelly
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are trapped.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You really are a flaming homosexual. You're stupid Teddy Bear post has 640 hits this post has 9000 I don't think you're going to make it there butt pirate. You actually wrote this and put it on a website with a picture of a teddy bear holding a stuffed heart: I love teddy bears. More teddy bears and blankies, please. I can't even imagine how a man could ever say that. They wouldn't just have to remove my balls (and not from your mom's mouth) they would have to chop them off and send them on a rocket ship into the sun before I would talk like that.
Get out of my post turd pusher.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:12:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Teddy bears kick the ass of this shitty post.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to be nice to you but you are clearly a faggot. Anyone with stories about teddy bears and sucking cock for lunch money cannot be in my post. Get the fuck out.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't say birthing women are beautiful, Joey.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 16:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Linus we all know you don't really think that. It's okay to admit the truth here in my post, this is a safe place for you. Try to man-up a little and be honest with yourself. Did you know that most women shit as they're giving birth because they are pushing so hard? Still think they're beautiful?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-28 16:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Linus picks his nose and eats it.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-28 16:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pregnant women are beautiful.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 16:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FilledwithHate it is clear that you are a reasonable and intelligent person. Thank you for the kind words.
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agree completely, every aspect, without exception.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gentlemen, allow me to mediate, pontificate and then masturbate. Why all the hostilities between you two fine citizens?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe- tell the loser below to shut the fuck up before I rip his password off of him, and shit down his throat.
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy is a pussy. He thinks Im going to put him to shame at his Hate game. faggot.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am glad to have you read it Schlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am glad I read this.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is just as true today as when I wrote it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nellypaal is a fucking faggot, but this is a work of art.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-17 13:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-17 12:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84193
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I fucking laughed.
You're an asshole.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious! Although I believe that preggers women are truly beautiful. Even if they're fat.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent work, a gripping and honest portrayal of pregnancy. I applaud your work.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:29:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
this was awesome!
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was awesome!
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-23 04:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Very good post. Up there in the top 10.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-06-23 03:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You could've stopped with the title and spared us the time and visuals.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-23 03:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking hysterical, cracked me up
Submitted by Pilgrim at 2004-06-23 03:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Douche bag, only unwed pregnant women were sent away.
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-24 13:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm showing this to your mommy little boy...
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-12 14:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Soo.....?? What happened? It better be good!
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-12 14:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Definitely, this is their life!! And you know who they are! I love your re-buttals, sometimes at work I'm so busy, and sometimes I'm soooo slow, and when I read you going back and forth with someone it cracks me up. I will read that college post in a few minutes.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 14:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shay, I think that the people that think their ratings are the be all and end all of existance use it as a form of validation and get really upset when someone -2s them. Those people are weak. I've even seen some of these "uberfriends" camp out on their buddies post and get into a +2 war with somebody who's given the post a lot of -2s. First of all, it wasn't even their post and second of all get a fucking life. The dreaded -2 really hurts these people that get their self esteem from this website.
It's funny that you say you love when I get in verbal fights with people because that's my favorite part also. As you can see I really don't post that often, I like reviewing other people's work much more than writing my own stuff. Although, I do like the thought of people laughing at their office because of something I wrote, that way they get to escape for a minute or two.
Shay, you never read my post about college:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22202
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ALL GOOD!!! I don't care what people rate mine either. I know this was just a joke, but I'm a girl so ya know. It's okay though, because I generally like the stuff you write. I like your replies and retaliations to people that attack you even more than your posts.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I'm still in my 20s.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:52:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
How old are you then?
Am I dealing with a geezer here?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had never really even known any Latin people before I met Rico and his mom and this was way before it was "cool" to like Latin women and way before the "Latino invasion". I was a trend setter in poon.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
coincidentally, I read that earlier. Good stuff, I didnt realize it was you.
Interesting, I have a big thing for latin women anyway.
Language doesn't offend me, I just haven't been in the mood for being harsh to others in a long time.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Insanethemind, I wrote about an experience I had when I was a sophomore in college that doesn't contain any bad language or nasty stuff. It is a true experience and here is the link (rate it and let me know what you think):
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22202
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shay, it's just a joke, but I would rather get an honest -2 before I get a bullshit +2 because you like me. That's the problem with this site, friends can't be honest with each other and if you give someone a -2 they go back to all of your posts and ding you just to be a dick. Everyone here is annoyed by me so if I get a good rating I know I deserve it because I don't have any asslicking friends driving my post up even if it sucks. I don't put any stock in the rating though, I just look at the hits and see if people are reading it. It doesn't matter to me if it's positive or negative as long as people read it, but then again I really haven't posted that much because I don't feel like writing anything. Ohhhh, I am so complex and complicated.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok.
I challenge you to write something either informative, entertaining or both, without being inflammatory or offensive. (use your discretion)
That would be impressive. Calling people "dumb fucks" and telling us how pregnant women are pigs, along with the other topics I remember you choosing, is not.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Goldeneyes, you have the same reaction that a lot of people have. It's so fucked up and it's cruel and mean and wrong . . . but goddamn is it funny. Thanks.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Insanethemind, this wasn't even my idea to write about. I made a bet with someone that I could take any topic and make it go to #1 on the most heated list. I wrote a piece called You Pick It I Write It and I would take the first suggestion and make a #1 post out of it. The person recommended surrogate mothers so I wrote about pregnant women. Bam, it shoots to #1 and gets over 2,700 hits. I won $20.00 for it, so I guess that makes me a professional writer. Here's the proof:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/19072
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything. I'm a woman, of course I don't like that. I still like you though, so that's okay.
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so wrong...and yet so funny...
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would bet that you are because again I'm joking.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:26:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that I'm helping you to your ends anyway, hits and someone to be rude to, right?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah she did actually.
I figured I had reviewed it already, so calm down. I don't just keep from saying things because I think they might be a joke. I felt like commenting on it again.
You don't have to be so rude about it, I'm not a dumb fuck.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Insanethemind: I would like to raise a disagreement with this sentence: "Pregnant women are notoriously selfish with their unreasonable demands." Pregnant women are POPULATING the world. Giving birth to other human beings. That's a pretty high order and a vitally important thing. I for one think that a little more can be afforded a pregnant woman than other people, without me considering it "selfish." I may have already rated this, I forget. I'd like to say also that some women, when pregnant, look really really hot. If that's a repeat, then so be it.
JoeAverage: You dumb fuck, you already reviewed this last year on November 26th, why are you back again. How do you still not know this is a fucking joke? Why did your mom drink heavily while she was pregnant?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shay, that one hurts. I thought we had something together . . . What didn't you like about it? How can I change it to make you happy? What can I do to win you back?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 11:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeAverage: You've obviously written this to inspire anger and pull hits, but I'll just pretend that isn't the case.
I would like to raise a disagreement with this sentence: "Pregnant women are notoriously selfish with their unreasonable demands."
Pregnant women are POPULATING the world. Giving birth to other human beings. That's a pretty high order and a vitally important thing. I for one think that a little more can be afforded a pregnant woman than other people, without me considering it "selfish."
I may have already rated this, I forget. I'd like to say also that some women, when pregnant, look really really hot. If that's a repeat, then so be it.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-12 11:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate to do this to ya Joe, but I have to :-(
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 11:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rmuser, thank you, you are clearly a person of refined taste.
AlnicoIIPro, I can only imagine the dirty looks. Glad you liked it.
tech-junkie, my disciple, your reverend appreciates your input. I wish I would have mentioned the stomach painting, that was good stuff. I also liked your last line, "Slim down and get on with life." HA!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-12 11:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shadow, go fuck yourself, this is the funniest thing you've ever read (unless you've read some of my other posts).
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AMEN REVEREND! also, I can't stand how all freakishly feminine they get with all their friends. freaking baby showers, manicures, painting pictures on their stomachs! GROSS! make the baby, slim down, and get on with life.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-12-16 13:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AlnicoIIPro and rmuser, than you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it
Submitted by AlnicoIIPro (user info) at 2003-12-02 10:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man did I get dirty looks while reading this :/
Funniest thing I've read in ages!
+2!!!!!
Submitted by rmuser (user info) at 2003-12-02 09:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2003-12-01 19:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
was this supposed to be funny? i thought it was going to be funny... that's why i clicked on it, but it just wasn't... at all.
i am so disillusioned (sp)
you suck
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-12-01 18:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Persecuted: This made me laugh and then i read the catagory! I'm still laughing!
JoeAverage: It's people like you that make me enjoy putting subtle jokes in my stories. Very good for recognizing that.
Submitted by myname <myname.at.mystupidjob.com> at 2003-12-01 16:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're going straight to hell.
Submitted by Jackal2124 at 2003-12-01 14:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is true, yet I cannot say that it was funny. True,True
Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2003-11-30 03:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'One advantage of being with a pregnant bitch is that you don't have to use protection because the whore is already knocked up. The only problem is her bush gets so hairy it's easy to get confused and stick it in her dirty pooper (pregnant women drop notoriously huge logs that get snarled in their freakishly long pregnancy pubes). This disgusting extra hair growth brought on by the rush of millions of hormones cover both stink holes making them indistinguishable. I know a guy who's banged a pregnant broad and he said when she pulled down her pants it was like looking at Don King eating a shit sandwich (with extra corn). '
bahahahahahaha!!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-11-30 03:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha... +2 CREW!
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-11-30 01:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where are my royalties?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2003-11-30 01:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was funny but.....
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-29 16:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nevermind the fact that I just got some dirty looks from the women i work with while i was CRACKING UP at this post. I mean, my eyes were watering. +2 for you!
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-11-29 13:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One thought - does Oprah have a magazine?! I thought it was just the TV show.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-11-29 13:55:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I found this funny. It was a Maddoxesque kind of article right, not to be taken seriously methinks.
If you were being honest I think someone should've shot your momma when she was up the duff with you.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2003-11-29 13:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The article can't be as good as the title, so I'm stopping there.
-Bus
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2003-11-29 09:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The worst thing about pregnant women is how evil they are. It's a fact that pregnant women pass diseases on to their unborn babies like AIDS, just out of spite.
This comment was so evil I couldnt help but piss myself laughing. Well done, now mop my floor.
Submitted by QueenBea (user info) at 2003-11-29 06:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
HAHAHAH if this wasn't a post made souly out of desperation to make it to the most heated list, I don't know what is.
At least the guy knows how to stroke a nerve, even if the shit he drops out of his mouth is nothing more than uneducated ramblings.
Queen
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2003-11-29 02:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Persecuted (user info) at 2003-11-29 02:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh and then i read the catagory! I'm still laughing
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-28 22:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
whoa. I read every single reply....I think that insinuates loser-dom. However, I congratulate you ole joey for being such a relentless hit whore. I remember back when I had 2 of my posts on the most heated list at once.....those were the days....
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 16:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny, thank you, I appreciate it.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-28 16:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you obviously misunderstood what i wrote. i clearly stated that you DO respond back.
i was being slightly sarcastic to the people who complain about your post or any posts that get alot of hits. they attribute it to the poster driving up the hit count by responding back to repiles.
i think it is rude not to respond back.
keep it up.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:13:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
this guy reminds me of an early mickginny.
ive seen that in a few replies.
this guy reminds me of mickginny because he writes funny shit, and gets a ton of hits. and he responds back to replies which shows me that he enjoys the interaction that ubersite offers but so few people take advantage of.
also he pisses people off who post then ignorantly ignore those courteous enough to visit and rank their posts then wonder why people stop reading and responding to their posts.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 16:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a big THANK YOU to all of my +2 Crew!!! I appreciate you taking the time to read and enjoy what I wrote. Do you feel like you're all part of an "inside joke" because that's the way I see it. You guys are the ones that get it and I think that's great. Please join me in giving a big FUCK YOU to everyone that doesn't get it. Thank you.
Hairsphincter, Kristen, MickGinny, settle, Nobb, Death_Metal_Dude, QueenAshlee, Istaros, apollo88, cindy, Method, Jericho, reallybored, Michael Jackson, Debbie Rowe, Bellebrown, mox9, Rondo_Mondo, Emily, MikeDitka, mfraizer, K.M, Lord_Of_The_Strings, Random Joe, Berly.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 16:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny, I changed my mind about what I just wrote (about not thanking people who wrote positive things) because it's not true. If you read from the bottom up, I thanked all of the people that supported me AT THE SAME TIME I was arguing with the morons. I didn't thank anyone after I left and I haven't checked the site in a couple days. I respond back to the positive and the negative (I just think the negative is more entertaining sometimes). I've decided you need both to have an entertaining post and I personally enjoy reading the positive comments more.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 16:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny, I read your post and you're right I don't respond as often to the people who are giving me the positive ratings, I respond more often to the haters. Here's why, it's more fun to respond to the haters, people like to see me ripping them new assholes. I think people are smart enough to know that if they gave me a good score and said something nice I appreciate it. Other than thank you there isn't much to say and the post would be boring. It's much more exciting and entertaining to confront the morons that don't agree with me. If you look at the responses a lot of them didn't enjoy the post as much as they did the verbal sparring with my detractors below.
I appreciate everyone that reads my posts. I hope everyone understands that and continues to read what I write.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-28 15:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berly, I think that is the highest compliment that has been paid to me. The fact that something I wrote motivated you to join this fine site is high praise indeed. Thank you very much. This post started as an idea from another ubersite user (Sublime). I wrote a post entitled "You Pick It I Write It" in which I asked for ideas for a story to write about (it had been suggested that my work was so funny that I had stolen it from someone else, so in order to prove my critics wrong I had uberusers suggest topics at random, it was fun and I'll probably do this again in the future).
The first suggestion was from Sublime (Surrogate Mothers) and I thought about surrogate mothers and then I thought about pregnant women. It took about ten minutes to write this post and that was it (not to long after I posted it, it went to #1 on the most heated list). See the link below for the origins of this brilliant piece of literature:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069809299736119085
Submitted by Berly (user info) at 2003-11-28 15:32:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wanted to say that I registered on this site JUST so I could respond to this story. That was the FUNNIEST damn thing I've read in a long, long time. I get dirty looks and grunts from peoplefrom people all the time for not liking prenant women and babies and the like.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
I'm in love..
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-28 00:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Two thumbs way up!
Submitted by rondo_mondo <lessthanron.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-11-27 23:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-11-27 04:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It made me laugh, simple as that so +2
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2003-11-27 02:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=10699168326303421
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-11-26 18:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Job.
And Tom, you got pretty stupid back there. Partly because i think Tina was kidding, and partly because you screamed "OWNED LO!L!OL! ROMLF" or something to the same effect. Thats pretty much the equivalent of closing your eyes, covering your ears, and humming a mary poppins tune. Next time, realize that it was pretty funny, and if you have a shitty sense of humour, then try and swallow it, so as not to make yourself look like a dumbass.
Submitted by IniquitousRabbit (user info) at 2003-11-26 15:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"like the hot skinny girls considerate enough not to have babies"
It sounded shallow to me, as if only skinny girls are hot. Ive always found skinny girls to look pretty icky. :(
-1 Because I didnt even have to finish reading your post to not like you
-1 Because my fruit loops were fucking stale this morning and Im going to blame it on you
[[Why? Because I'm Cool.]]
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Joeaverage, everytime I read your posts, I keep on thinking of how much I want you to pound me in my loose asian cunt. I ejaculate with glee at the thought of it.
See my Engrish is getting better.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
""Submitted by MikeDitka (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:10:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
A winner is you! A loser is bob!""
MikeDitka is Joe! Joe is MikeDitka!
Joe is Habeeb! Habeeb needs a life!
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i particularly like how so many people, including SubparJoe, refer to this as satire.
__________
sat·ire P Pronunciation Key (str)
n.
A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
The branch of literature constituting such works. See Synonyms at caricature.
Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.
------------
i see no irony. i see no wit. i see no folly, vice, or stupidity being attacked or exposed. i see no point to this other than a bunch of planned out inflammatory comments for the purpose of getting hits. this isn't satire. this is just crap.
and then act all surprised people clicked on the link and then talk shit to you about your "satirical" post. i'm *sure* you were expecting nothing but praise, camaraderie, and a better understanding of your fellow man. wait, actually you were just trying to bait people into an insult match.
there are many good writers on this site. some are good at fiction. some have some interesting political views and write eloquently. some (not this guy) write excellent satire. some have had interesting lives.
SubparJoe is not one of them.
and as a refresher, this is NOT satire, so quit fucking calling it that.
Submitted by MikeDitka (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A winner is you! A loser is bob!
Submitted by mfraizer <fraizer.57.at.osu.edu> at 2003-11-26 14:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, those sluts need to know who's in charge, good post!
Submitted by MikeDitka (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ditka also hates dykes like tina. Ditka hopes she is pounded in the ass by da bears until it dies. Ditka eats PC people for brunch.
Submitted by MikeDitka (user info) at 2003-11-26 14:03:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the funniest thing ditka has read in a while. Ditka is also amazed that people take it seriously. Ditka thinks they can go smoke a fat polish sausage and stick it in thier ass. Ditka must digress ,though, Ditka likes big women. Ditka can give it to 'em proper all night long and not worry about them running away. Cause ditka could have his defense from Da Bears take her down in a polish second. Ditka also like pregnant women, when they're passed out. Ditka feels having sex with a pregnant women is like having sex with two people. Ditka also theorizes that if she swallows it's like 2 swallowing. Ditka is a sick fuck.
Submitted by Emily <browneyedgirl123.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-26 13:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I shouldn't have enjoyed this post, but I did.
I've grown fond of you, JoeAverage. Fond indeed.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-26 13:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know this was supposed to be funny.
But it wasn't.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-26 13:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106985564666653997#277708
Submitted by Rondo_Mondo (user info) at 2003-11-26 13:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe, you're still kicking the ass, man. Another hit generator.
+2
Submitted by Michael Jackson at 2003-11-26 12:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Debbie Rowe is a hog, and Prince Michael's I through III know that.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Excellent satire JoeAverage. next time though, post it under humor so that maybe people have some sort of warning how to take it.. You'd get a +2 if you'd managed to put in some sort of comment that identified it as humor and satire.. I just don't know what it would have been yet.
===========================
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-26 10:13:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're pregnant you are not beautiful, put down the Oprah magazine that's been lying to you and get ready for the truth bitch.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
That line was fucking great. Personally its a dream of mine to fuck a pregnant chick, thats not carrying my kid. Its so wrong, yet so right.
===========================
SCORE!!! x3 for GodChicken... RB you're slackin bud. Catch up on the corruption.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are fucking retarded. And get your facts straight. In the 50s, pregnant women didn't go away to have the babies. Just the ones who got pregnant out of wedlock. You are an idiot.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh, so now ignorance and bigotry are humor?
fabulous, i must have missed that revelation.
sorry mick, this loser has nothing similar to you, aside from persistence. at least 90% of your posts are worth reading.
Submitted by mox9 (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'pregnant women drop notoriously huge logs that get snarled in their freakishly long pregnancy pubes'
-HAHAHA. Good stuff.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-26 11:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this guy reminds me of an early mickginny.
ive seen that in a few replies.
this guy reminds me of mickginny because he writes funny shit, and gets a ton of hits. and he responds back to replies which shows me that he enjoys the interaction that ubersite offers but so few people take advantage of.
also he pisses people off who post then ignorantly ignore those courteous enough to visit and rank their posts then wonder why people stop reading and responding to their posts.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-11-26 10:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I won't go so far as to agree with anything you've said... apart from oprah lying.
But pregnant women should stay the fuck away from me, I passed out last time I was forced (YES FORCED) to hold my hand on a stomach with its moveable kicking contents. urgh. Put them back in homes until they've dropped - and stop assuming that just because I have a vagina I'll want to hear all about your piles.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2003-11-26 10:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was funny. You would have gotten a plus two but A: I want to know what position you played in college and what school, and B: telling your SAT score is not as lame as Bob's IQ score, but why stoop to that? Bob make friends, geez...reading all of this thread has made me feel icky, and if I was not at work, say if I was at home instead of out at a party, I would feel as incredibly dorky as Bob.
Submitted by Debbie Rowe <mikeswirfe.at.pedo.com> at 2003-11-26 10:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you to Michael and I hate what you've done to our children, I just don't hate it enough to stop taking your money.
Submitted by Michael Jackson at 2003-11-26 10:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfection again. I hate Debbie Rowe.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-11-26 10:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're pregnant you are not beautiful, put down the Oprah magazine that's been lying to you and get ready for the truth bitch.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
That line was fucking great. Personally its a dream of mine to fuck a pregnant chick, thats not carrying my kid. Its so wrong, yet so right.
JoeAverage is the only anti-hero here that i like. People, lighten up alittle.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 09:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
too bad your daddy didn't feel that way about your fat ass mom when she was pregnant with you. otherwise he might have punched her in the belly and we could be spared the annoyance of your retarded ass.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 09:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you aren't half the hit whore i am.
racist fuck!@
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-26 09:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh, sarcasm. i get it.
Submitted by Jericho (user info) at 2003-11-26 08:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give you a -2 for blatant hit whoring.
But then I read this retort.
"You can almost smell his virginity through the computer screen can't you?"
Instant Plus Two!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-26 08:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:16:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
pregnant women are actually attractive. not in a "oh momma i wanna fuck you 8 ways from sunday " way, but they are uniquely attractive.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
Mick speaks the truth.
I didn't find this funny, though.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2003-11-26 08:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is funny shit, its a hit machine. Bravo.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 06:44:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you fucking are not bitch.
lets see a photo of your cunt.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 06:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck off fake Cindy.
I am the real Cindy.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2003-11-26 05:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was going to be a +2..but then I got to reading the
reponses and started getting sick of the bitching
and whining...so I knocked off a point for that.
Yes, I include the responses in my rating because all
those reponses were created by the post. Damn logic.
I feel like Spock sometimes.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 05:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bravo! a nicely sustained argument.
quite misguided, of course.
my wife blossomed. the cliche came true.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-26 04:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAHahhaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
For fucks sake get a sense of humour people.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-26 03:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're not unlike a cockroach -and yes, the emphasis IS on "cock,"
hahahahahahahaaaaaaa *wheeze cough*
aaaaaaaahhahahahahaaaaaa
I am using that.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 03:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of enjoyed the ego boost. It's been a rough week. Still, I wish I had a penis. My life would be SO much easier.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not a bitch. But you did have that post dedicated to you. Not having said "what the fuck are you on, Kristen?," makes you something of a human equivalent of a sappy romance novel -but not a bitch.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck? They've been on about whatever it is they're on about, I toss out a few random comments, and suddnely I'm a bitch? Fuck that. I wish I had a penis.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had my choice of scholarships (Academic or Football) to a Division I college and I chose the Football scholarship, that way if my grade point average slipped I could still get a free ride (for the record I was an Academic All American as well). I got the best of both worlds without having to carry a 4.0 GPA. I
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not alone in the least, Hairsphincter.
bob, why the fuck are you still here? You're not unlike a cockroach -and yes, the emphasis IS on "cock," as in the obvious enjoyment you receive from roaching other men's pubic hair- in that you can take beating after stomping after manhandling after humiliation, and still come back with yet another idiotic thing to say.
As for your supposed intelligence, I have only one question: Does this remind you of anybody? "fuck off no really, im serious. this is bullshit." Hell, I'd LOVE to meet the guy who was insightful enough to come up with such a work of genius. The sweaty excitement I felt caused by this wonderful tidbit of intellectual finesse was only surpassed by the uncontrollably orgasmic pleasure I had at finding this gem: "OWNED!!!! hahahhahahaha. Tina nows owns you." What I wouldn't give to have an exchange of souls with this fellow... Oh wait, IT'S YOU!!!
I said I have only one question one for you, but now that I am assured of Your Cerebral Majesty's identity, I have another. Are you more of a Palooka ( http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame47.html ) or a Tiny Yapper ( http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame7.html )?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-26 02:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Queen Ashlee sounds like a bitch
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am fucking loving this. I think I am not alone, eh Istaros?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps you can't add (which of course makes me doubt that you scored a 1460 on your SATs) so I will add it up for you:
790 Verbal + 740 Math = 1530 Total (Which means I scored 70 points higher than you, you fucking retard).
You are a real dumbass.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He did.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whats the matter joe?
you got nothing to say about my "inferior" scores?
and your "superior" intellect?
yea thats what i thought.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just for the record assgoblin, my SAT scores:
790 Verbal
740 Math
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (bitch forever): i have already proven my point so we can stop with the arguing Joe. your arrogance is overwhelming, not once did you even ask for my scores in those areas, rather you just go off claiming that i am an idiot and that you have a "superior intellect". do you know my IQ or SAT scores and have you met me in person to view my humor (you cannot judge this over the internet because you cannot view other areas of speech other than the writeen word)? nope. so you have no proof of your "superior intellect" so just lay off the intelligence issue because you have no basis for it.
JoeAverage (rules bob's world): Why don't you ask your friends to read from the bottom of this page up, from the moment you attacked me, until the last post when you admitted what a bitch you are. Let's see what kind of data they extrapolate from our dueling posts. My bet is they would find that not only was my argument based in fact and logic, it was also damn entertaining as well. I hope they don't deduct points for spelling errors or writing flaws because my guess would be you would lose that by a hefty margin. You are a piss ant.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
joe: i think EQ is a measure of emotional intelligence right?
sat:
1210 7th grade
1350 9th grade
1460 10th grade
(yes you have been arguing with a 16 year old)
IQ:
158 on the MENSA scale which is classified as genius.
the problem with IQ is that different psycologists have different measuring scales.
i havent taken an EQ test.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow joe. i have to hand it to you. you sure can pump out the hit generators (+1). Even though your juice is getting stale. It the same flavor everytime.(-1)
and you do remind me of young mickginny. I guess I have to wait for you to either grow on me or go away.
'pwned' is what happens when you are typing 'owned' so fast that your ring finger misses the o and hits the p.
it became so common that people started typing it on purpose.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok bob, I'll bite, what are your scores. Do you know what EQ is by the way?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tina: Lookit.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069394876161625931
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have already proven my point so we can stop with the arguing Joe.
your arrogance is overwhelming, not once did you even ask for my scores in those areas, rather you just go off claiming that i am an idiot and that you have a "superior intellect".
do you know my IQ or SAT scores and have you met me in person to view my humor (you cannot judge this over the internet because you cannot view other areas of speech other than the writeen word)?
nope.
so you have no proof of your "superior intellect"
so just lay off the intelligence issue because you have no basis for it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
EvilZurr, you know what's funny, you give me a -2 and bitch about how many reviews this has while all of your piece of shit rantings linger in obscurity. Here's the one I found to be the funniest
"the apathy of the majority" - 7 reviews
HA HA HA HA, did you say apathetic maybe you should take the a out and while you're at it why don't you get your a out of here and go back to your hole where no one gives a shit about you.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. What does "powned" mean? I'm thinking it must be computer nerd slang, but why the p?
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:12:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
85 reviews in less than an hour
its official: you seriously suck. i cant wait until you start dating...
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, seriously, what the hell are you two babbling on about?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ashlee: i did not know that, but i will keep it in mind now when im replying to your posts.
tina: i keep saying, reply/post earlier and i might be able to help you out.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:07:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (drooling retard): would you consider this "superior intellect" as: IQ, SATs, GPA, "street smarts"? what?
JoeAverage (Mastermind): All of the above with the exception of GPA, that's not a reflection of your intelligence, that is a reflection of your work ethic in the classes you take. I would add to this EQ (do you know what that is) and sense of humor (you definitely don't know what that is).
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:02:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeAverage (bored as hell with bob): You can almost smell his virginity through the computer screen can't you? Wow, with an argument like that it's no wonder your posting so much late at night on the weekends. "Statistics and factual information . . ." I'm sorry bob I just fell asleep. You've found a way to defeat me. You bored me to death. See you tomorrow everyone.
______________________
Eventhough this was meant to be an insult, it only proved my statement that you attempted to critize.
and with that i am done because that just proved my point.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:05:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is everyone fighting about again? How about we put aside our little differences and help Tina with her papers.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mention it all the time, bob. It's annoying. REALLY annoying.
Submitted by cindy (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had you at "Ni Hau mah".
Asian PoWn3D.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey! I post late at night and on weekends....
I also do not have sex. Maybe you're onto something.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:56:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeAverage (laughing at the crying bitch-ass bobbo the clown): bob, if you've been here a shitload longer than why do I understand this site better than you after only having been here a couple of days? Is it because of my superior intellect, I don't think so, I suspect it has more to do with the fact that you are a fucking window licking retard. Get out of my site.
________________________
what is with the "my site".
you have been here, what, about a week and you are already showing the arrogance of someone that has been here for a year or two, who has earned the respect of the other users here.
also, before you, i have not been critizied about my use of "ppl" instead of "people". so i guess that the other people here <<that i know of>> do not care about it.
what is with the "superior intellect"?
would you consider this "superior intellect" as: IQ, SATs, GPA, "street smarts"? what?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (sobbing uncontrollably): im sorry if i come of whiny, that is not my intention. i guess that my philosophy on arguements is just different that both of yours. ok, so that i do not come off whiny: i believe that i am not "owned" because in my belief, statistics and factual information is what determines who wins an arguement. i look at an arguement similarly like a debate in which if you take away the foundation of the person's argument then they are logically wrong. i am sorry that i dont randomly hurl out insults
JoeAverage (bored as hell with bob): You can almost smell his virginity through the computer screen can't you? Wow, with an argument like that it's no wonder your posting so much late at night on the weekends. "Statistics and factual information . . ." I'm sorry bob I just fell asleep. You've found a way to defeat me. You bored me to death. See you tomorrow everyone.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 02:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you see, I manage to do both, and all with style and grace. I can argue you into the GROUND given the right motivation, using facts and logic and blah blah blah. I can also spin out a few choice insults, if that's my mood. The key is to realize when you start looking stupid. You started awhile back, and you've kept it up in a steady stream. You've lost this battle, move on.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (hysterical and in tears): im saying that i acted a little too brash and yet you are still acting like an asshole. also what the fuck is up with the line "this is motherfucking ubersite and we spell out words here"? i have been here a shitload longer than you so shut the fuck up trying to lecture me about this shit.
JoeAverage (laughing at the crying bitch-ass bobbo the clown): bob, if you've been here a shitload longer than why do I understand this site better than you after only having been here a couple of days? Is it because of my superior intellect, I don't think so, I suspect it has more to do with the fact that you are a fucking window licking retard. Get out of my site.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:48:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, for Christ's sake. LOOK at yourself, man! You're being extremely whiny. So you didn't like the post? Fine. Say so. Argue with the guy, for all I care. But, realize when you have been owned, accept it, and move on. JoeAverage clearly handed you your ass, and you contined to freak out and whine about it. I mean, Christ, it's a WEBSITE. Get over it.
_____________________
im sorry if i come of whiny, that is not my intention.
i guess that my philosophy on arguements is just different that both of yours.
ok, so that i do not come off whiny: i believe that i am not "owned" because in my belief, statistics and factual information is what determines who wins an arguement. i look at an arguement similarly like a debate in which if you take away the foundation of the person's argument then they are logically wrong. i am sorry that i dont randomly hurl out insults (normally). i guess that is more of you two's style of arguement.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In other words: Too defensive. Quit it. Move on.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
JoeAverage (yawning at the prospect of having to answer bob's dumb ass again): bob, you started this whole thing by attacking me in my post and now you are acting like a baby that just got his ass handed to him. I know you're used to handing your ass to anonymous men . . . but I digress. Oh and one more thing, don't fucking write ppl for people, we're not in the pedophile chat rooms your used to hanging around in, this is motherfucking ubersite and we spell out the words here.
________________________
are you fucking serious?
im saying that i acted a little too brash and yet you are still acting like an asshole.
also what the fuck is up with the line "this is motherfucking ubersite and we spell out words here"?
i have been here a shitload longer than you so shut the fuck up trying to lecture me about this shit.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, for Christ's sake. LOOK at yourself, man! You're being extremely whiny. So you didn't like the post? Fine. Say so. Argue with the guy, for all I care. But, realize when you have been owned, accept it, and move on. JoeAverage clearly handed you your ass, and you contined to freak out and whine about it. I mean, Christ, it's a WEBSITE. Get over it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
QueenAshlee: You're beginning to grow on me. Like Athlete's foot. I kid. Seriously. I'm starting to like you, JoeAverage. Something about you, I can't quite put my finger on. But you're A-Ok in my book, Joe Average. + FUCKING TWO!
JoeAverage: I'm getting that reaction a lot around here. I appreciate it.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:37:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, your age is showing. Quit being a pest.
________________________
how so? <<to both parts of the reply>>.
Im not trying to be negative here towards you here Ashlee, i am genuinely curious about this.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (in high pitched voice with his dick and balls tucked between his legs like a bitch): yes i am taking this post too seriously, but i get very defensive when i am attacked by ppl
JoeAverage (yawning at the prospect of having to answer bob's dumb ass again): bob, you started this whole thing by attacking me in my post and now you are acting like a baby that just got his ass handed to him. I know you're used to handing your ass to anonymous men . . . but I digress. Oh and one more thing, don't fucking write ppl for people, we're not in the pedophile chat rooms your used to hanging around in, this is motherfucking ubersite and we spell out the words here.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Herpes (whining like a jealous whore): I don't like how Joe Average thinks he's the shit. I hate seeing his garbage on the most heated list. Just so Joe knows, you are NOT cool, or controversial when half of the replies to your shit (yes shit) are you.
JoeAverage (confidently): You know what the irony is in your stupid little diatribe? You are helping to push me up the list, because you just posted your stupid fucking inane bullshit and now I'm posting my kick-ass response to you. Thanks for helping make me number one you dumb fuck.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, your age is showing. Quit being a pest.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're beginning to grow on me. Like Athlete's foot.
I kid. Seriously. I'm starting to like you, JoeAverage. Something about you, I can't quite put my finger on. But you're A-Ok in my book, Joe Average. + FUCKING TWO!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
do see your point now about posting on the weekend and I noticed that 8 of your posts were on weekends so I was beginning to see your point until I noticed one other thing . . . 17 of your fucking posts were not on Saturday or Sunday you fucking toolbox
________________________
considering that my first 6 or so posts were just in order to figure out how to show pictures, i dont count them because they werent anything that i cared about (they were pointless pieces of shit which i am willing to admit anytime). after that, 9 of my posts were either very late at night on Friday or on the Weekend.
yes i am taking this post too seriously, but i get very defensive when i am attacked by ppl.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't like how Joe Average thinks he's the shit. I hate seeing his garbage on the most heated list. Just so Joe knows, you are NOT cool, or controversial when half of the replies to your shit (yes shit) are you.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nazislut, you've got a lot of nerve talking to me that way. How well did your parents do raising you? You're a nazi slut for God's sake.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Death_Metal_Dude, truer words have never been spoken. Thank you.
Submitted by nazislut (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU HAVE SOME MAJOR FUCKING ISSUES AND YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP. THE ONLY THING YOU WERE RIGHT ON IS THE WHOLE BELLY BUTTON THING THAT IS KINDA GROSS. BUT THATS IT. I WISH I COULD SMACK YOUR MOTHER FOR RAISING A DUMB ASS LIKE YOU. May you be chased through the streets by a whip-yielding escaped lunatic, you festering boil on a whore's cunt.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobb, I appreciated your insight on bob (get it bob on nobb, that's great stuff people). Way to get it, Nobb.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
im sorry if you believe differently Nobb but rational thought backed up by facts and statistics always wins over stupid insults.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty funny. I hate it when people get all bitchy and defensive after reading an obviously tongue-in-cheek post. And especially when they get all uppity because of their own personal situation.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob, I now own you, your family and your first born so I will try to make this short and sweet.
I don't give a shit about when people are on this site or not on the site. I do see your point now about posting on the weekend and I noticed that 8 of your posts were on weekends so I was beginning to see your point until I noticed one other thing . . . 17 of your fucking posts were not on Saturday or Sunday you fucking toolbox. OWNED OWNED AGAIN, now I own you, your family, your first born and your cousins. I hope we are done with this now because you are clearly unequipped to deal with me. Fuckwad.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People seriously need to get a sense of humuor, it didn't appeal to Tina but at least she was light hearted enough to not be a retard. Oh and Bob, don't say owned, it's lame, also you got totally 'owned' by Joe average.
This guy reminds me of an early Mickginny by how he responds to reviews on his posts to inspire more and more views.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
SHUT UP FATASS!
MMMPHH MMMHPP MMMPPHH
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
im sorry tina.
JoeAverage: look at the stats given to us by Bart-
Weekend:
Saturday November 1st: 52964 hits
Sunday November 2nd: 62457 hits
Weekday:
Monday November 3rd: 98648 hits
Tuesday November 4th: 87425 hits
and more recently:
Weekend:
Saturday November 22nd: 57619 hits
Sunday November 23rd: 68308 hits
Weekday:
Monday November 24th: 109813 hits
NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE?
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:05:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, okay, okay. The first thing I like to do in these domestic desputes is just calm everybody down....RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:11:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (becoming a bigger tool with every response): if you would do your research, you would know that a significantly less amount of people come to this site on the weekends and the worst time to post anything is late at night on a WEEKEND. this my friend, is a WEEKDAY
JoeAverage (now not only owns bob, but owns bob's family as well): bob, first of all congratulations for distinguishing your weekends from your weekdays (baby steps bob-o, baby steps). Maybe instead of posting late at night on a weekend you should be out trying to get laid, then maybe you would have something interesting to write about instead of writing stories like, "My Cat's Breath Smells Like Cat Food."
I own, I own, I own, I own, I own (sung like the 7 dwarves).
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, okay, okay. The first thing I like to do in these domestic desputes is just calm everybody down....RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
JoeAverage (owns bob): Wake up you fucking dumb ass, it is late at night right now and I'm posting not for the hits, but because this is when I could. Also, how convienient for you that you don't post for popularity because as luck would have it, nobody gives a shit about what you have to say unless your in my post. You desparately covet my creative writing and quick wit and your pathetic explanation only further serves to show that I fucking own you.
________________________
if you would do your research, you would know that a significantly less amount of people come to this site on the weekends and the worst time to post anything is late at night on a WEEKEND. this my friend, is a WEEKDAY.
your intelligence is just overwhelming me.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Party03: Nothin quiet like a little fire place loving now is there? Even if that fireplace was a five gallon drum with burning garbage.
JoeAverage: That made me laugh out loud.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 01:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob (my bitch-boy): plus, unlike you, i dont post for popularity, i post when i feel like it which means that it sometimes is late at night on weekends(when i will recieve the least amount of hits), not so that i can get the most hits possible; and i just respond when i feel its suited and i feel like expressing my opinion (i.e. this piece of shit).
JoeAverage (owns bob): Wake up you fucking dumb ass, it is late at night right now and I'm posting not for the hits, but because this is when I could. Also, how convienient for you that you don't post for popularity because as luck would have it, nobody gives a shit about what you have to say unless your in my post. You desparately covet my creative writing and quick wit and your pathetic explanation only further serves to show that I fucking own you.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Womb with a view huh? Not bad. I've heard better.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:52:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hairsphincter, don't you see that it's much more fun when the parody IS missed!
Yeah - but it takes a while because of all the serious ones like this. Stressful as it may be.
I think by now people **should** get it.
My fave is how so many people don't ready any of the reviews before posting.
I honestly love that.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeAverage: He probably did, I imagine that's the only way he could stomach blasting such an ugly whore. You should be happy that your white-trash, trailer park, loser parents couldn't afford the electric bill or you wouldn't have been conceived.
Nothin quiet like a little fire place loving now is there? Even if that fireplace was a five gallon drum with burning garbage.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:55:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:45:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
bob, you must love responding to my posts because that way there will be lots of people interested in what you have to say. Why don't you go back to posting your boring ass shit that no one cares about. For example, "I ate a Banana Shaped Like my Head", wow with exciting material like that it's no wonder your struggling to crack 100 hits.
Hear that bobby-boy your 15 minutes of fame on a popular post is almost up.
Now you're owned bitch.
___________________________________
if you would read other posts, you would know why i posted that. (might want to catch up on iddqd's recent posts and particular response by Phinch)
do your research before you attack someone.
plus, unlike you, i dont post for popularity, i post when i feel like it which means that it sometimes is late at night on weekends(when i will recieve the least amount of hits), not so that i can get the most hits possible; and i just respond when i feel its suited and i feel like expressing my opinion (i.e. this piece of shit).
asshat.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hairsphincter, don't you see that it's much more fun when the parody IS missed!
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:12:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hairsphincter, it's good to see you again. I'm like a melanoma that keeps growing on you. I can accept that. Thanks for your +2.
There are people posting things (as you are) who are serious, you sense of humour is very subtle. I feel the parody is going to be missed.
Thanks for remembering the melanoma comment, you must read a whole bunch of stuff.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob, you must love responding to my posts because that way there will be lots of people interested in what you have to say. Why don't you go back to posting your boring ass shit that no one cares about. For example, "I ate a Banana Shaped Like my Head", wow with exciting material like that it's no wonder your struggling to crack 100 hits.
Hear that bobby-boy your 15 minutes of fame on a popular post is almost up.
Now you're owned bitch.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GrizzlyHunter62: Your mom looked hot when she was pregnant with you. Maybe I should have punched her in the stomach harder.
JoeAverage: Everybody hear that . . . that's what unfunny sounds like.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:36:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your mom looked hot when she was pregnant with you. Maybe I should have punched her in the stomach harder.
______________________________
HAHAHAHAHA
now you are tina and grizzly's bitch.
they must fight for who doesnt get to be your pimp.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Party03: What if I was a test tube baby?
JoeAverage: Than you would have had a womb with a view.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Party03: Hey Joe, what if he did her doggystyle with no lights on?
JoeAverage: He probably did, I imagine that's the only way he could stomach blasting such an ugly whore. You should be happy that your white-trash, trailer park, loser parents couldn't afford the electric bill or you wouldn't have been conceived.
How was that?
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your mom looked hot when she was pregnant with you. Maybe I should have punched her in the stomach harder.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I lied, I can't concentrate. :( I want to go to bed sooooo bad, and feel my beatiful wife's warm breath on the back of my neck.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:33:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zeccs, glad I could make you laugh. I'll try harder next time for the +2.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Joe, what if he did her doggystyle with no lights on? Or what if I am a test tube baby?
You're going to have to do worse than Mom jokes. Seriously, I want to see what you're capable of.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed at the "you need to stop punching me in the stomach"
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
settle, thanks for the high praise. I appreciate it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:30:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love you Tina.
Submitted by settle (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"their belly-button that sticks out so far Richard Simmons accidentally performs fellatio on it."
+2 for that.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:28:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob, I bet you were in all the slow kids classes in school. Were you a paste eater? I bet you were. If you had a fucking clue you would know who got owned here, and it's you for posting twice you fucking asshat.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:27:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna go back to homework now, thanks for the distraction. I mean, no thanks, for keeping me from my studies...
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How do I know you are playing around? How do you know I'm not playing around? Obviously I knew that even if you've never read anything from me, you'd at least catch on with all the Tina's.
My wife could kick your ass.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Party03, do you know what your dad saw the night you were conceived? An ugly bitch, because he was fucking your mom!
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Titinita, I was playing around with you, I know you're a girl. I read your post a couple of days ago about being the best, prettiest girl around. Way to not understand what I'm doing here you moron.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God I really wish your dad could have seen this the night you were conceived.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but we were waiting to see how long it took Joe to figure it out.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny, that's funny "uniquely attractive" is equivalent to vomit inducing pig.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:21:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang on, isn't Titinita female?
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The +2 was for Tina, not you.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My wife wouldn't bang other strangers, she has aaaaaall she needs at home.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristin, thank you for the +2, are you a fan of my work now? I see you always give me a nice score.
Submitted by Syphon_Virus (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
listen here you ass clown, i have slept with a pregnant woman before and needless to say, I will never do it again. It was disgusting. I mean, poking a fetus in the head with one isn't my idea of pleasure. And besides, fat people need some love, too.... just not from me...you ass.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Titinita, what is *this*? If you mean *give her a manicure at the salon you work at* I thank you for that fruitcake. Maybe, you should have been making sure your wife wasn't banging random strangers because you couldn't satisfy her, instead of chatting it up with the girls at the salon.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OWNED!!!!
hahahhahahaha.
Tina nows owns you.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
no really, im serious. this is bullshit.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I know a guy who's banged a pregnant broad and he said when she pulled down her pants it was like looking at Don King eating a shit sandwich (with extra corn)."
that was funny, but pregnant women are actually attractive. not in a "oh momma i wanna fuck you 8 ways from sunday " way, but they are uniquely attractive.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahahaha!
+2 for Tina!
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm your daddy, bitch. You know why I'm your daddy? Because I did *this* to your momma.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Titinita, congratulations, I hope you find out who the father is.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You bastard, my wife is preggers. If I ever get my hands on you I'd kick you square in the nuts.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hairsphincter, it's good to see you again. I'm like a melanoma that keeps growing on you. I can accept that. Thanks for your +2.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Syphon_Virus, what's the matter can't take the truth? When was the last time you went after a pregnant woman? Hypocrite!
Submitted by Syphon_Virus (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, you have serious problems and should be shot!
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-26 00:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the hit-whore with more. Score, you poor chore slore.