What. The. Fuck (1140 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.92 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by El Fucking Guapo (View user info) at 2003-11-27 14:13:19 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069332682559324960
hmm, so i had a bit of trouble writing this one. i thought of a funny anecdote, perhaps something serious, but really wanted to stray from my typical WTF type posts. trouble with that idea was that i was drawing blanks as for what to write about. until last night at least.
so anyway, last night i had been drinking with my brother and playing videogames, decided i was gonna watch a movie or something and ended up watching 1984. by the time the movie was over i was, well, quite buzzed.
so i sat there mildly drunk contemplating the complex themes and subtext of the movie (can you have subtext in a movie? even a screen adaption?) and was mulling over the ideal that love conquers all. next thing i know, i'm thinking about my ex. no.....not thinking about, LAMENTING. suddenly i'm sitting there, head filled with memories of when we were happy, vividly remembering her smile, her beautiful red hair, her smoothe, creamy pale skin. the way she smells, how beautiful her naked body looks. how great it once felt to come home from a long day at work and have her hug me. the times when we could sit and just stare in each other's eyes for what seemed forever. the night i asked her to marry me. the look in her eyes and on her face when she said yes.
BAM! i start to snap back into reality, as if thrust into consciousness from a dream.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
i HATE her, why am i thinking about this? it's been almost a year since we split up, and 9 months since we have lived together. after all the shit she put me through, how, why in the holy fuck am i thinking about this shit, ESPECIALLY so fondly? i haven't forgotten any of the bad things, the years of her being unemployed and unmotivated to even try to find a job. after all, i was paying the bills, we weren't homeless or anything, just short thousands of dollars we could have had if she had been working. it's not like she was disabled. her dislike for nearly every single one of my friends which grew into baseless hatred of people she hardly knew, since she never bothered to even TRY and get to know most of them very well. her refusal to try and be a part of my family, and insistence that i be a part of hers (and a mighty fucked up one at that.) or the night she called cops on me to try and have me thrown out of the apartment I had been paying for entirely, because she found out that I had started seeing someone else and had gone to mardi gras with her. at that point we had been broken up for about 3 months, but she still lived with me since she had only finally found a fulltime job the week before. i also had just gotten home from the airport after 6 gruelling days in new orleans, and all i really wanted to do was take a shower and sleep in my own bed. since the cops couldn't legally throw me out, seeing how i lived there and paid all the bills, she threatened to call them and say that i hit her. in texas, that means you go straight to jail. do not pass GO. do not collect $200. she once tried to cheat on me with a friend of mine, who shot her down. the news of that, despite being after the fact, crushed me. she would sit there and bitch about money and whine about me not spend enough time with her, even though i was working fulltime with a 1 hour ONE WAY commute and going to school 12 hrs a week. oh yeah, my car was dead during most of that time as well ( http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105753214085237610 ), so i was taking busses and the train. the days i had class (tues and thur, sat was 8 hours of class) were 17 hour days. on days i just worked i left the apartment at 5:45am, and did not get home til 5:30pm, thanks to public transit. and she couldnt' be bothered to ride a bus half a mile to even LOOK for a job. yet she would bitch about not having much money constantly. shit, all that is the tip of the iceberg man. i could write another post 4 times this long and not even cover all of it.
Yet i'm still looking at the past with rose-colored glasses, fondly lamenting how things were. what the holy fuck is wrong with me. i nearly broke into tears a couple times while i was thinking about it. eventually i shrugged it off and went to bed, dismissing it as the result of too much beer and holiday cheer.
but no, i've still been thinking about it. WHY?? i can't think of a logical fucking reason i would think about her at all, especially after watching 1984, and even more especially because i have more than enough reason to hate her no matter HOW happy we were at one point.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
(this probably has a lot to do with why i'm feeling this way. assuming the fucking picture shows up goddammit. it didn't the last two times i submitted)
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2004-01-08 02:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think I saw that whore starring in a gangbang movie, all of your friends were the co-stars. HA HA HA.
If she did all that shit to you and your still thinking about her than you love the chaos. You're going to be one of those guys that will pick the biggest fucking drama queen nutbag out of a crowd because your life is boring and you seek out drama to liven things up (this is subconscious). Try to recognize the pattern early and if the girl is crazy fuck her and run. That's the problem with crazy girls they are great in the sack, but you're not supposed to marry them. Dumbass.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-01 05:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And we are trustworthy.
Just ask India.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-01 05:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What.The.Fuck.
Dude, if it is any consolation, I still do that occasionally. Three years on.
It does get better though.
Trust me.
I'm English.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-30 11:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks everyone for the kind words!
antiLemming - so what you're trying to say is that even IF you could so much as MEET a woman HALF that attractive (and i'm not implying that you could, this is just hypothetical), you'd bust a nut in your pants before she got within 5 feet of you?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-28 12:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Looks like my ex-wife.
What. The. Fuck. indeed!
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-28 09:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...and dont waste time hating her. Hate is a strong emotion and takes alot of energy out of you. And that means you are wasting energy on her. Dont give her that satisfaction. It isn't worth your time.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-11-28 09:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think anyone who has been in a serious relationship for a good amount of time goes through this after it is over. Especially if you haven't had any serious relationships since then. It's not an every day occurance so don't worry about it. Nothing is wrong with you. Sounds like you went through alot of shit with her. Be happy that she is gone because you are better off.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-28 09:39:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What PMJ said.
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2003-11-28 08:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You scarred me. You caused me to cross-reference nudity with that ugly sack of shit you call your ex. Bad.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-11-27 23:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Distorted memories of ex's is mother nature's way of saying, "I own you"
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-11-27 23:29:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I understand, and have felt the same way before.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-11-27 19:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, that was supposed to be a +2, was doing about 12 things at once when i rated that
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-27 18:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
That is a picture of a 40yr old man.
Submitted by Frankatthebank at 2003-11-27 18:52:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"What. The. Fuck "
Having a little trouble with the period key there?
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-27 18:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, have a hug.
A manly, straight hug, that is.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-27 18:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, you're completely normal.
She sounded like a hell of a classy person...riiiight.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-11-27 18:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wheeeeew.
man women are fucked.
what the fuck, indeed.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2003-11-27 17:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the red on the head
-1 for the white long sleeve shirt she's wearing
underneath the dress...
-1 damn thats' her actual skin?
+2 because she's holding 2 beers
-1 because she's still a bitch that has some
mental hold on you...
total=1
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-27 17:20:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Belle - the sad part is......i have. two weeks ago in fact, and even more sad was that she is the best friend of a woman i am very interested in so i pretty much blew any chance at getting together with her. damned drunken horny chicks! damned drunken horny me! (in my own defense though, we were all drunk, and i went out to the balcony to have a smoke, and she came out and started making out with me out of nowhere. once she started grabbing the package it was pretty much a sealed deal)
whoa, maybe that's part of the fucking problem! fuck!
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-11-27 16:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im betting you need to get laid or something.
Chin up... sounds like it was for the best.
(havent read any replies btw)
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read you're name quickly and saw "Elf Fucking Guapo" and giggled.
That is all.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe,
I think this happens to all guys at some point when they're single. I remember about 6 months after breaking up with a GF who was an abolute psycho (she thought she could see ghosts) I started thinking about the fun times that we'd had together, and at one point while drinking I even came close to giving her a call. I think that along with time healing all wounds, it also makes problems look smaller, and good times seem better. You know, how parents are always talking about the 'good ole days'? Well, they really weren't that good, but they only remember them that way.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!"
Homer
Boy Scouts 'n the Hood
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nah, dude. you're not a freak. i thought i was when i thought about my ex, too. it only happened to me once, thank god, and like i said, it was like a year after we broke up. when you have strong feelings for someone for a long time, it's normal for something like that to happen.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, actually WQP, i was the one that kicked her ass to the curb.
yeah, i got some titty action at mardi gras. and sex.
thanks hidden. i was honestly starting to think i'm some desperate idiot, hopefully it is something natural.
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forget about it Guapo. Don't hate her. Don't give her that much consideration. If you are thinking about her enough to hate her, she's occupying valuable space in your head that could be used on more important things, like beer. Forget about it bro.
-J
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that she is a very attractive woman.
But alas, young lad, I feel as though your feelings of lament come from your inability to retain her affection.
Did you at least see a lot of titty action in Mardi Gras?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, that's happened to me before. it's totally normal. usually happens around a year after it's over. no big deal. just tell yourself it was a freak occurance and forget about it.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yay, it finally fucking posted right!
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Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till you're 15.
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious