I got lovin for hitting a girl... sort of (1850 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.7 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jimbobjoe (View user info) at 2003-11-30 16:37:04 EST
I can't say that I do not regret some of the actions I have taken in my life, but the one thing I thought I would truly regret if I ever did, I do not in one instance.
A lot of people are going to think I'm some sort of horrid person for what I am about to describe and this is the hitting of a woman. I have done this a total of two times throughout my life. The first time, I slapped my parents god-daughter for being retarded and constantly grabbing at me while we were playing a game. I was 13 years old and she was 12, we were playing some stupid game and I told her three times I would slap her if she continued to grab at me. She did after being told three times and I slapped her. Instant horrible feeling and guilt at actually raising my hand at a woman, well little girl in this case. I don't care if she deserved it or not, but this is not the way I was raised. Her parents, nor mine, were very angry with me and they had seen the whole deal escalate to where it ended. I recieved a quick dirty look from her mom, and she was told to quit grabbing me by her father (a psych professor with doctorate). I didn't like what I had done but I felt as if I had to after saying three times that I would. My dad told me I shouldn't hit girls, but he knew that I knew this and the matter was dropped immediately and we continued our game in peace. She still talks to me and we are still friends. Strangely enough she is now engaged to someone with my name. Moving on.
The second time I hit a girl I have absolutely no regrets for and I think this particular bitch deserved everything she got. I actually decked this girl. I was living in England at the time and it was during my last week there before coming home. For those of you who know Eng., I lived in a shit town called Eccelston, east of Preston (NW). I was in the next town over for something called Coffee Days, where everyone in the two towns gets totally sloshed and has a carnival. Good times were had by all, except for me and this stupid bitch. I don't know who this girl was, nor had I ever seen her before (that I know of anyway). I was with a few friends and we were sitting by a hill leading down to a stream. We were having a wonderful time getting sloshed. I was 15, almost 16 and another friend of mine who had come to live with me in the US the year before was with me as well. The day was pretty good, although my one friend was talking about how he wasn't drinking because "his body was a temple" and he needed to be in perfect shape for rugby. Pussy. He was probably the only sober person above the age of 12 in a two mile radius.
So this girl starts walking over to us and falls down a couple of times on the way. We think, cool some chick is drunk and is coming over to talk to us. Great!! She was wearing these leather pants and this really tight shirt and some platform shoes with pointy toes and a piece of metal on the front like cowboy boots have. She was obviously some sort of raver girl (circa 1992). As soon as she got within smelling distance of use we knew it was no longer cool she was coming towards us and we were in for some sort of bullshit. The smell of whiskey and other alcohols was so strong from her that we could smell her like ten to fifteen feet away. Now, realize this girl was no more than 16 or 17 years old and smelled this way. We tried to be nice to her for about ten minutes but she kept saying stupid shit and telling us we were dumb and how she hated all of us. We then proceeded to say we didn't know her and she was an ugly bitch who should leave us alone and go find some raver freinds to puke on. Oh yeah, she puked right when she got up to us.
So we're sitting around trying to ignore the stench of puke and alcohol and icky smelly raver girl all the while trying to get her to leave us alone. I kinda felt sorry for this girl as she obviously had some real issues going on for her to be that trashed and pissed at us, but that shit wasn't our problem and we wanted to get back to talking how about how rugby kicks the shit out of American Football as far as speed of play is concerned, a common topic with me around. So my friends decide it's time to have a little fun and try and get rid of this annoyance. She sits down and decides she should take off one of her shoes, so Pat grabs it and throws as far as he can yelling "Go where the shoe is, you're needed and wanted there!!!" My friends think this is hilarious and start yelling "yeah!! leave bitch" which only serves to infuriate her. Now, I have done nothing but sit and try to avoid her for the past ten minutes and now I feel kind of bad for her but I do really weant her to leave. She then proceeds to go get her shoe and come back.
At this point, my friends decide that since there are a lot of other girls around and since I will be leaving the country now it's my turn to try and get rid of her. So I stand up and get in her face and say something along the lines of look bitch we don't like you and stinky smellyness so why don't you just go somewhere else. I don't know if I hit a nerve or if it was just time for her to freak out or if she was drunk and didn't know what else to do, but it was at this point I truly regretted having stood up in front of her as she then kicked me in the balls. Now if we go back to what she was wearing you'll notice the way I described her shoes. I can still see those fucking shoes and every last detail of them, I curse pointy toe platforms!!!!! They are the bane of all man's existence, the possible downfall of the human race.
Now as all men know, getting kicked in the balls FUCKING hurts. A LOT. Now imagine getting kicked by shoes that have a three inch (well probably more like one and a half) platform on them, are pointy and tipped with a piece of metal to thouroughly destroy any manhood which you previously thought you had. To sum it up, not a single on of my friends gave me any amount of shit over falling down in a little ball and crying immediately. I lay there in a heap for what seemed like an eternity to me, all the while muttering "bitch, you better run and run far" through my sobs. She stayed there like a dumbass of course. My friends were saying "he's pissed, you should leave" to her over and over. To this day I still don't understand why she didn't go away. I told her once or twice that I was going to hit her when I stood up and she still didn't leave. I think I cried for about five minutes, five terribly long minutes of excruciating pain before I could peel myself off the ground for my revenge. Oh did I mention I cried and it hurt, A LOT. I cried, it hurt.
I stood up in front of drunken smelly raver girl, I looked at her, I said "Run before I hit you you, you bitch." I waited, she stood there laughing at me. I decked her. All of this happened in front of about fifty or so people. Not right near us but basically everyone was looking at us. Among these people were some girls I had gotten no attention/play/whatever from throughout my whole stay in England. In particular we'll call one of them K-A, K-A saw this all happen and started laughing her ass off when she saw me deck smelly girl. I hit her square in the jaw and she dropped. I do have to say that I felt sort of bad about punching a girl in the face, but after the pain I felt from her foot to my manhood, I can pretty much say she deserved it.
Later that night K-A was at a party with me and she started saying how bad she felt about me getting kicked like that right before I have to go back to America. You can guess what happened from there. We didn't have sex but it was quite fun and it was almost worth getting kicked for. But not. And there you have it. How to get some loving by hitting a girl.
Oh yeah, my friends then threw smelly drunk chic in the stream down the hill and everyone laughed at her. I feel kinda bad about his, but the stream was only about a foot deep. I don't know what happened to her after this and I never saw her again before leaving the country, which I am quite glad about, but I wonder if she remembered any of it. Or if she knew why her jaw hurt so much the next morning. I guess I do feel a little bad about hitting her, but I still think she deserved it. Of course I can't really think of another situation where a girl would deserve to be hit, other than she starts a REAL fight with a guy.
The End
User Reviews
Submitted by Kimba (user info) at 2004-03-03 21:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You did the right thing. She was obviously a stupid, drunk bitch and deserved it. If I ever get angry enough to hit someone I expect to get hit back, regardless of my being a woman.
Submitted by deserteaglekiller at 2004-03-03 21:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
only girl i ever slapped was my exgirlfriend it was at some party she was drunk and was bitching at me about me talking to some other girl and hit me on the back of the head i got up out of the chair i was sitting in and i pinned her to a wall and told her to cut that shit out then she kick me in the shin and tried to scratch my face so i delivered a uppercut to her jaw and she was out for a minute or two and i was laughing my ass off about it wasn't till later i found out she keyed my car after i punched her that really sucked
Submitted by deserteaglekiller at 2004-03-03 21:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story
if i was in your place i would have pistol whipped the bitch
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-01 08:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-12-01 08:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-11-30 20:49:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
as Slick Rick would say, "Treat em like a prostitute"
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That is correct sir! HIOOOOHHHHHHHH! AH HAH HAH HAH!
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-12-01 02:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only time i ever hit a girl was last year when some girl at a party was being a bitch.
I made fun of her, not even in a particularly mean way, and everyone laughed. She was pretty drunk so she got really angry and threw a big heavy candle at me. I avoided the candle, and tried to calm her down, but she got up in my face and scratched me down the throat with her fingernails. It fucking hurt. I decided it would be better if i just turned around and started walking away. She followed me, hitting me in the back, so i spun around and backhanded her across the face, to which she sat down and started crying about how she was going to press assault charges.
She never did, and even if she had tried, i think the 4 inch long scratch marks on my adams apple would have been enough to prove self defense.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-12-01 02:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i need to grow a spine.
there were a couple times i shoulda hauled off and decked some girl, but didnt.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2003-12-01 00:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
one thing i would do to a girl (for fun) is tie her down to a bed,
spread-eagled, naked, of course. then i would get a thick leather dog
leash, think enuf to fit in her backside, and whip her crack a lot. hehe,
talk about painful, eh?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2003-11-30 22:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-11-30 22:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice job with a good story.
I don't think many women know exactly what hey are doing when they go for the nuts with their shoes. If they did know, they wouldn't kick.
I might have punched her lights out too. Then again, I may have just gotten up and left. I'm mellow like that.
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2003-11-30 22:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pleasantly surprised not to see any outraged female comments. Equal pay, Equal voting rights, Equal right to drive. Just don't hit them.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-11-30 21:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Zurr, that chick's name wouldn't be Kim, would it?
The only time I ever decked a chick it was a girl named Kim from Oceanside.
It was a girl I dated while in the Marines, then two years later I had to make a delivery into Oceanside and she crawled into my truck and wanted me to have a go at it with her. She wouldn't leave, so I decked her. Not hard, but enough to get the message across.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-11-30 20:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
as Slick Rick would say, "Treat em like a prostitute"
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-11-30 20:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
last year, i was out in oceanside with my friends when some girl walked up to us at a restaurant. we were dining outside, so there was lots of space and almost no waiters. regardless: she came up and hit one of my guy friends over the head. he got up and turned around, sighed, and asked her what she wanted. to cut it all short, she cheated on him and he moved on without caring. when the second guy got to know her, he left her and the two guys became friends. guy one got a new girl, and so his ex was pissed that she ended up alone. she eventually started trying to start shit, especially by hitting him and pushing him. he kept saying 'go away, i dont want to hurt you' and 'shut up; this isnt worth it'. she kept talking shit and pushing him and hitting him until...
...thats right: he did the biggest wind-up for a nice upper right wide hook square to the jaw. she was more than out, so her 2 girl friends with her started swearing at him and dragging her off back to their table. my friend sat back down with a big smile on his face, and we all bought him lunch
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2003-11-30 19:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I need to start proof-reading my shit. And using commas.
An apology to all that I did not do this.
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2003-11-30 19:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do favor rugby over AM. Fottball, but that's only because it moves a lot faster and the guys don't really wear pads. I would have to say that many football teams would easily be able to destroy most rugby teams if came to a fight though. Sure the rugby guys are tough and everything, but Am. Football players have a definite size advantage over rugby players. And there is supposed a lot more calculated maneuvering in Am. Fottball, but many times when watching my teams they seem to disprove this theory over and over, except for today. GO BEARS WOO!!!!
Submitted by KingHFB (user info) at 2003-11-30 18:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
finally someone sticks up for themselves
plus they favour rugby over american football
smart man
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-30 18:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There is nothign wrong with hitting bitches if they truly deserve it.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-30 18:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the only time i've ever hit a girl, i was about 17 or so and this skinhead bitch grabbed my hair and was hitting me in the back, so i turned around and punched her in the face. but i didn't know she was a chick til it was too late.
Submitted by TiaWashington (user info) at 2003-11-30 16:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Damn bitch deserved it. Made meh smile. Makes me wonder, if she does remember and what she tihnks about you. I wounder if she'd have done the same thing. I wonder if she's gotten drunk like that since.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-11-30 16:54:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO! go jimbobjoe, whoopin ass and gettin lovin from the brit chicks.