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Something to make u smile. (1199 hits)

Category: Humor

Rating: -0.16 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by http://www.time-zone.tk (View user info) at 2003-12-03 16:42:13 EST


Q. What do you call an Irishman with half a brain ?
A. Gifted.


Q. What do you call an Irishman with four 'O'-levels ?
A. A liar.


Q. How did the Irish acid-bath murderer loose his hand ?
A. Pulling out the plug.


Q. Why do Iraquians smell so bad ?
A. So blind people can hate them as well.


Q. What do you get if you cross a Jew with a gypsy ?
A. A chain of empty stores.


Q. How do you say "fuck off" in jewish ?
A. "Trust me!"


Q. Why do Jews have such big noses ?
A. Air is free ...


Q. What happens when a jew walks in to a wall with a full erection ?
A. He breaks his nose.


Q. What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?
A. 100 way to cook your dog.


Q. What's the definition of mass confusion ?
A. Father's day in Brixton.


Q. Why wasn't jesus born in the U.S.A ?
A. Because god couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


Q. What's better than roses on your piano ?
A. Two lips on your organ ...


Q. Whats the definition of a perfect woman ?
A. a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head
so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a
roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

P.s. Brunettes are fitter than red heads.

Lara Croft.jpg (125 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2003-12-13 15:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Q. What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?
A. 100 way to cook your dog.

100 ways to wok your dog. wok. see it sounds like walk...you stupid piece of shit. Oh it's 'pistol'. DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE.

Korth

Submitted by Hobart (user info) at 2003-12-13 15:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/20603

Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-12-04 00:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

So where's this thing that's supposed to make me smile?

Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-12-03 22:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I can't rate negatively.

That Lara girl is too cute.

Ok ok. I admit. I am a slave to the one eyed master.

Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-12-03 22:26:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Wow, you can see her kidneys in that outfit.

Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-12-03 22:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

"Iraquians"

-2 for that
-1 for telling old jokes
+1 for everyone who -2'd this post.

Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by www.sparta.cn (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:20:15 (#)
Ranking: 2

Fuck you prick.

Submitted by www.sparta.cn (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Fuck you prick.

Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Go for a trip to the Old Jokes Home?

Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I want to sit on your face. Naked of course.

Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I don't get the second one.

Submitted by BKred (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

+1 for the picture.

Q. Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

A. She was a woman.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

ooooooo shiney.

Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Iraquians?

Submitted by dimerajoe (user info) at 2003-12-03 17:13:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny stuff...now let me throw in my own stolen jokes for good measure:


Q What happened when Helen Keller fell down the well?


A She screamed her hands off.


Q What was the name of Helen Kellers
autobiography?


A Around the block in 80 days



Q Why did Helen Kellers dog commit suicide?


A You would too if your name was uuuugggghhhh


these are lame I know








Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-12-03 16:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Or maybe that's the humor in it...

Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-12-03 16:54:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny.


The "speaking Jewish" part was fucking stupid though. Couldn't you have at least changed it to Hebrew before you pasted it from your email?

Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-12-03 16:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Q. What do you get if you cross a Jew with a gypsy ?
A. A chain of empty stores.


Clever.


Marge: It was a beautiful wedding. I've never seen Selma happier.

Homer: That reminds me -- Troy said something interesting last night
at the bar. Apparently he doesn't really love Selma and the
marriage is just a sham to help his career.

A Fish Called Selma