Do your sons have pellet guns? (665 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Luke Fedder <Garret_Jax88.at.msn.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-03 18:01:10 EST
Let's back up 3 years ago. I'm presently in 9th grade and this naturally is in 6th(for the mathmatically challenged). I was young and very stupid though I have not made much of an improvment. We had just gotten back from school and my twin had football practice in two hours. We had 3 other friends present who were black. They, being black and loving to shoot at white people came up with the idea that we should go into my basement of fair size and shoot at each other with bb guns. Hence being in 6th grade we did it.
I won't bore you with the pre-war prepping, but realize all were advised to wear eye protection of some kind. It all started when I shot my friend in the ass. TO BATTLE STATIONS. At that second a metallica rainstorm fell upon me. I was paired with one other kid, the one who I had shot in the ass(I kept the gun I didn't trust him). He wanted his turn so I gave it to him he shot one kid behind a dresser. He ducked back behind a wall. Ashe popped back out now thinking himself invincible got shot in the throat from the victim of such brutality, my twin. As he proceed to sprawl out on the ground yelling obscenities I picked up his airgun. This was already pumped and had not been fired. The rule was 3 pumps so no one gut too seriously hurt. I vowed revenge for such an atrocity. I popped out around the door seeing that my twin had taken off his facial protection. Being the cheap bastard he was he was only popping up his head an rifle. At the first site of movement I fired. At this point I heard a scream and I went back around the corner. I was laughing hysterically and shit my pants. I was then called out and was told I shot my brother in the eye. As I walked out I was then greeted by my piping pissed off twin and his red gleaming third eye.
We told my parents it was a misquito bite that was ripped open at football paractice and they thought nothing of it, until he needed braces. We went to a orthodonist who liked to malest his patients faces. Part of this sexual fetish was to take x-rays. Now this is 2 yeras after the incident. I am present with my father and my brother. We are called in and the docter proceeds to explain "See sir, this dot. Wait let's start with these. My machine makes theese white dots you see here, but it does not make this." My dad then continues and asks "What do you think it is docter." Who then signs my death certificate by saying "Do your sons have pellet guns?"
I'm typing this on meat hooks where I am presesntly hanging.
User Reviews
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2003-12-03 23:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that activity seems to be a tradition in my family.
My... uncle, I believe, actually DID shoot out the eye of a family member. A female member, actually. Heh.
I managed to live through many such battles without much damage. Except once when it turned to hand-to-hand combat...
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-12-03 22:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:23:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:06:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
There's some semblance of POTENTIAL for good writing in here. Work on it.
__________________________________________________________________________
Oh give it a rest and admit that not every kid on the planet's face is an idiot. You keep writing well, Luke, and you might get a seat reserved next to good old Tom.
-Tom
___________________________
In the mean time, you can sit on my lap!
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats nice
Submitted by www.sparta.cn (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice segeuay:
http://www.sparta.cn/download.php?var=jmo.wmv (download)
http://www.sparta.cn/embed.php?var=jmo.wmv (<------------- to watch)
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2003-12-03 20:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
funny. so where did it hit him? not in the eye like you said, i presume, else your parents would certainly not have disregarded it as a mosquito bite. i'm guessing forehead?
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-03 19:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad kid.
rub some aloe vera on those meathook wounds.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-03 19:05:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is pretty damn good for a 9th grader.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-03 18:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:06:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
There's some semblance of POTENTIAL for good writing in here. Work on it.
__________________________________________________________________________
Oh give it a rest and admit that not every kid on the planet's face is an idiot. You keep writing well, Luke, and you might get a seat reserved next to good old Tom.
-Tom
Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's pretty articulate for 9th grade
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll change my vote since this was your first post and you didn't feel the need of informing us beforehand.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
There's some semblance of POTENTIAL for good writing in here. Work on it.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:06:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The last line did put an interesting visual in my head so I'll give you +1 for that.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-12-03 18:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ya, black people do like to shoot whities
Submitted by Jinx at 2003-12-03 18:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll shoot your eye out kid.