Well, I got "The Look" again... (51893 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Sandman8008.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-07 20:04:55 EST
"The Look". It boggles the mind or sets it free, ignites the sex drive or blows it out like a flickering candle, freezes the heart or makes it leap into your throat, calms an aggressor or sparks a vow for vengeance, touches the soul or wrenches it without regard. I've seen "The Look" many times, and I've even been known to give it on occasion. "The Look" is the embodiement of all that can be expressed because it takes too many forms to do it justice with words, but I think I have to try.
My tale, is a tale of "The Look". Actually, it is a tale of several "Looks", but especially the one that will forever hang in my thoughts and dreams.
Yesterday, I got "The Look" to end all "Looks". No, not THAT "Look". Not the, "Let's get out of here so we can have wild passionate sex in the shower/hot tub look". I LIKE that "Look". Im talking about the, "And now I'm going to leer straight through your soul, corrupt your essence, molest your aura, and send you to eternal damnation" kind of a "look". I've gotten this before but never from nine people at once. Yes, that's right, NINE people. Intrigued yet? I hope so.
It all began with "her". She moved in down the block from me several months ago. I'm talking about a homegrown Southern California girl, no friends, no ties, nothing but the looks of a god damned supermodel and a personality that actually entertained me. Surprising? Oh, hell, yes. I'm not easily entertained and she was lined up to be one of my great conquests. If she was going to be the new prey for all the players in the county, I was going to make damn sure I was the guy she could go to and be comfortable. The smooth, confident, reliable, charming one that's always the center of attention but never a scumbag. People warned her about me being a little too much to handle, but we were JUST friends, right? Now, I've been through these things before and I should've known that wheels were set in motion that I would be powerless to fight. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach but I ignored myself out of respect for my own, well, my own penis. I'm confident. I knew the possibility existed that I would get "The Look," the good one.
But first came another "Look". This look involved the boyfriend she picked up almost immediately after arriving. He was a total asshole and needless to say, me and him didn't exactly get along, especially when he would show up and I would be in her house, laughing and flirting and working her over on the theory that she should toss his ass to the curb. I had the sneaking suspicion that just maybe he didn't especially like me. Like I cared.
Then it happened. The first "Look" of my story. This was the, "I dont know what to do about my boyfriend because when I brought up that it wasn't working out, he screamed at me and threw me over a coffee table." That's when shit really hit the proverbial fan because that was the last thing that happened before I put a cinder block through his windshield and my fist through his jaw, several times. He cried. I yelled. We exchanged a whole other series of "looks" that I can't even begin to explain. That chapter was over.
I returned to her house with this story and was greeted with "Look" number two. Basically, it was a simple, "Why didn't I see that you were the right one from the beginning?" In a matter of days, we had found some sort of middle ground that happens right before a friendship turns into something else. Just waiting. I had success in the bag. I could see that she was considering the whole thing and couldn't get it off her mind. I was pleased.
Then came "Look three." This "Look" I liked. I liked it A LOT. This was the look that came right after she said the simple words, "My parents are going away for the weekened with the rest of the family." Oh, really? Refer to paragraph one. It was the "wild shower/hottub sex look" Things were perfectly in line. Leaving Friday afternoon, returning Sunday night. Perfect? I'd say.
WRONG! HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG! I walked in cool and confident. Before my bag of clothes (which I apparently didn't need) for the next two nights hit the floor, I was basically dragged into the house and jumped by this wild child. Well, the shower AND hot tub thing did happen, and it was spectacular, but that's not the issue here.
Meanwhile, in the outside world, plans changed. Oh yes they did. Well, shockingly enough, not only was the flight unexpectedly cancelled, but the parents decided that the WHOLE FAMILY could stay at the house with them. They were all flying out of the same airport and now they were all coming back. They returned, quite quietly I might add, or maybe it just SEEMED quiet because she was screaming so loud. Then the moment that changed everything. We exited the bathroom together, steam poured out, the sound of the hot tub still draining filled my ears, we were still laughing, and there they were. Nine of them, standing in front of the door, and all eyes locked like stinger missiles. What was I to say? A joke clearly wouldn't be appropriate, even though there were many that leaped into my mind. Before me stood the following, each with a "look" that could crack a person in two. Before I begin, let me say that I fucking kid you not.
1) An embarassed mother, in seeming disbelief, literally with tears in her eyes.
2) An enraged father who I expected to pull a gun. My only hope was that his head would explode with anger. It seemed possible.
3) An awed little brother, corrupted by the sight before him, jaw dropped in a mixture of amazement by this turn of events and obviously a sense of loathing me for banging HIS SISTER.
4) A four foot tall 200 year old grandmother, gripping a cross wrapped around her neck, loudly saying a prayer in some strange language.
4) Her husband, a condescending grandfather trying to console his wife but showing signs of his repulsion for these demon children before him. He was muttering something about how "In his day..."
5) Another ancient woman (turned out to be a Great Aunt) gripping her walker and gasping for air through an oxygen mask.
6) A clearly intoxicated, drunk Uncle (we all had one) with a glass of scotch in his hand and a smug smirk on his face that assured me I was a goner.
7) A woman of maybe 35, staring at her little cousin in disappointment caused by the horror before her. I discovered later that she was an ABSTINENCE SEX ED TEACHER. That really explained why she seemed so appalled by the thought of my SoCal girl screaming in unbridled ecstasy.
8) A child, the 7 year old daughter of the drunnk ass uncle, confused by the situation, but well within knowledge that someone was about to be executed for something.
9) And then I saw him. The crowd parted and he stepped through with dignified confidence, but also dignified disgust. Before me stood a Catholic Priest, leering down at down at us, condemning me to hell.
That is when it happened. Nine stares, and out of the tension the small girl simply said, "Daddy, how come they were in there, and why were they making so much noise?" as she tugged at his shirt. The glares intensified to a fatal level, except the Great Aunt. She grasped the O2 mask, and fell backwards away from the walker. People rushed to her aid. I stood, baffled by what to do, and that's when I said it. "So, you guys came back quick." I said it almost as though nothing had happened. Seven heads (The sex ed teacher was in the kitchen calling an ambulance) shot to the side and pierced me with yet another "Look."
I stand before you, a teenager who's life is forever remembered in the snapshots my mind has taken. The Look is ever present in my mind. I can only hope that the laughter I have now will save my soul.
My first post...
User Reviews
Submitted by Prontod (user info) at 2009-01-28 04:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by eric_the_bread (user info) at 2007-02-23 23:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2006-12-28 17:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fully enjoyed this. fully.
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-09 14:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by douglar02 (user info) at 2006-01-14 11:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont get when people give -2 because they dont believe such a thing could happen because they are overweight and lonely. He's trying to entertain you, not pursuade you if its true or not you twats.. If its good +2, if you didnt like the story -2. Nuff said.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-24 18:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Diskincluded (user info) at 2005-03-24 18:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2004-05-25 19:53:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and worth reading, so +2.
That's pretty horrible. If I were you, I would have cracked a joke. What have you got to lose?
===============================================================================
Uh, lessee now, his life and/or worse, his nuts?
Submitted by azrael_shinobi <jw60090.at.appstate.edu> at 2004-10-13 04:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a joke definitely would have been in order...if only to make someone explode, or to try to calm someone down, maybe a good old catholic joke...heh heh heh...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-16 22:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
twas entertaining
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Funny...but...am I the only one who counted 10 "looks"?
Submitted by diagonalchick <oasischick206.at.aol.com> at 2004-07-18 01:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stormlord (user info) at 2004-07-15 19:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story. Write more!
Submitted by Skippy (user info) at 2004-07-06 00:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it :)
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-05-25 20:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post? Definitely a +2 for a first. Just make sure you get better. Yeah, I guess I am a little lenient with +2's...but this was a good one, better than most of the second, third, and hundred twenty sixth posts of some users.
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2004-05-25 19:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and worth reading, so +2.
That's pretty horrible. If I were you, I would have cracked a joke. What have you got to lose?
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well written, funny and if it's true, sucks to be you. Worst I ever had was Dad walking in on me enjoying a rather energetic kissing session on the sofa.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-20 11:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-03-30 10:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I love it when a girl's parents find out you boned their "precious, innocent" little daughter, and blame you for "ruining her reputation", when it's obvious that the girl has been taking jimmy dean sausage in every hole she has for years now.
Submitted by Coby_Llamar (user info) at 2004-03-29 11:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By "it", I meant oral gratification.
Submitted by Coby_Llamar (user info) at 2004-03-29 11:36:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, I've had that happen to me once.
I was a sophemore and my girlfriend at the time lived about 2 blocks from me.
No one was home when I went over.
Right in the middle of my recieving and pure appreciation of it, her mom and dad walked in.
<the plot thickens...>
Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-03-23 11:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon, you know it was all worth it.
Submitted by it doesn't matter <whatever> at 2004-03-05 12:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this was great! so so so funny. you know, i actually find you attractive because of this piece. good shit!
Submitted by Loper (user info) at 2004-02-05 12:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well written. I don't belive for a second it's real, though. You'd get farther if you'd just admit it was fiction (imo)
Submitted by jager <maelstormfury.at.yahoo.ca> at 2004-01-23 02:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay story, except that pretending like it's true destroys any value it had whatseoever.
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FULL OF SHIT.......It's like an urban legend. Everything is too "perfect"
too actually be reality.....BUT it'a still very, very well written.
catholic priest my ass
Submitted by Sounsexy00 (user info) at 2004-01-03 16:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Almost the exact same thing happened to me last year. Horrible, horrible experience. Except I was the girl and my father actually did kill my lover. I miss lover. oh lover, where art thou...
'atta boy. can I have you're children?
-Hadley
hah.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2003-12-31 23:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth or fiction, very well written.
Submitted by Dickweed (user info) at 2003-12-31 22:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Dudemaine69 (AIM) <doubleglock69.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-26 17:49:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice bullshit story. If you ever put a brick through my windshield, I would fucking destroy you. Snap you in two. That would be it for you. I'd make your blood stop flowing.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-12-22 16:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you wrote that yourself.
Submitted by Rumply <phoenix_phoenix.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-20 21:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SinVerguenza (user info) at 2003-12-13 18:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For an explanation on this rating, go to: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=107117315622364409
Submitted by ieuph (user info) at 2003-12-13 00:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha! off to part 2...
Submitted by chris <chris_psu_98> at 2003-12-12 15:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by weatherguy48 (user info) at 2003-12-11 09:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://members.lycos.co.uk/fallenglory/owned.jpg
I loved this story :-)
Submitted by charles <leadsinger.at.bellsouth.net> at 2003-12-11 01:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good, except there were 10 people. You used the number 4 twice.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2003-12-10 20:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Three cheers for the 17 year old GOD
Submitted by Ilici <email.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-10 07:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man that kicked so much ass! I believe you can say you have been OWNED!
Submitted by QueenBea (user info) at 2003-12-10 03:01:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicks ass!! I'm off to read the part 2 now, but keep up the good work! This was executed perfectly!!
Queen
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-10 02:46:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by BKred (user info) at 2003-12-10 00:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really have to hand it to you, you wrote this thing perfectly.
Submitted by Lady J <punkiepunk.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-12-09 23:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
very well written...very very funny
and ufortunate...thanks
Submitted by Azure (user info) at 2003-12-09 22:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and very entertaining!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-09 20:31:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-12-09 17:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was a great post until...
My first post...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
oh well i'll still give ya a +2 because the post is well worth it, even though the last line ruined it
Submitted by Lost_Gator_Fan (user info) at 2003-12-09 17:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Real or make believe, it's still a good story.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-12-09 14:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The priest wasn't looking down on your actions, he was looking down at your action.
Submitted by Your Mom <Yourmom.at.ubersite.com> at 2003-12-09 12:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Like that really happened. A guy carries a drink with him at all times and a sex ed teacher walks in on sex. Shut up
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-12-09 02:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey...the story continues!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20225
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2003-12-09 02:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.. one of the funniest posts I've read on here. Congrats.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-09 02:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Actually, in the Middle East they would be far more likely to kill the girl to preserve the family's honour."
I was going to post something to that effect, but the poor guy sounded like he felt guilty enough as it is. Hehe, have another +2 for still making me chuckle after reading for the third time.
Submitted by Valacosa (user info) at 2003-12-08 23:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Simply Wow. That trumps anything I have.
Scott_James said: "Just be grateful you're not living in the middle east - the girl's father would have probably ripped your crank off."
Actually, in the Middle East they would be far more likely to kill the girl to preserve the family's honour.
Submitted by Elizabeth <gobblinpenguin.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-08 23:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
holy bujesus thats the funniest hting ive heard in a long long time....if its true then it sucks to be you-actually i guess its great but nontheless
Submitted by SoHipItHurts (user info) at 2003-12-08 23:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2003-12-08 22:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAH! busted. hope you at least did her in the pooper.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-12-08 22:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA *snort*
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:51:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the "I'm so sorry I got you into this" look you probably got from the girl...
How could anyone NOT +2 this post? Fantasy/Fiction/reality......who the fuck cares? +1,000,000.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:40:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My first post..."
That made it.
I say this with all seriousness, that this is quite possibly the best post ever, regardless of whether it is true or not. Bravo my friend, bravo.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stop me if you've heard this one before. A priest, an 80 year old lady on oxygen, and a drunken uncle walk into a house...
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:27:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A good story, told with flair.
On the subject of whether or not it's true:
Shit, like this happens all the time - two horny teenagers get caught out by the family with awkward results. Just be grateful you're not living in the middle east - the girl's father would have probably ripped your crank off.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny shit. i did find the scotch-holding uncle to be somewhat out of place seeing as they had just arrived. heaven knows, the first thing i do upon entering a house is root around for scotch.
good story though, whether it's true doesn't really matter that much.
Submitted by daidoji (user info) at 2003-12-08 20:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhahahahahahah!
Submitted by the_3_toed_sloth (user info) at 2003-12-08 16:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for awkward silences, one of the funniest and greatest things in life!
...this is just like those damn cheesy horror movies, where you sit there thinking "dont go into the room! you know the monster/rapist/serial killer is in there, and the lights arn't even on!"...is it really wise to go back so soon afterwards? Bah, i just want to know what happens...i think you owe us a follow up to this story.
Btw, isn't it funny how everyone disbelieves this story? Why, is it that he scored with some hot girl? The priest? The sex-ed teacher? The drunk? Oh, right, because none of those things exist, do they....
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2003-12-08 14:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff. Probably would have been better to say model instead of supermodel. Cindy, Elle, Kathy Ireland etc. are part of a breed of such rare perfection that you may have never seen a girl that hot. Your girl is probably hot, but probably not nearly tall enough to look like a supermodel, unless she is as hot as Laetitia Casta, the shortest supermodel but that is impossible because LC is the hottest woman ever.
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-08 14:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit. This is is on Bored at Work.
Anyway, as for it being made up, I can assure you it isn't. It was destiny. I've been watching this site for a long time (I discovered it through Maddox) and I finally registered just a few days ago because I was going to write something about my plan to deport all the shitty drivers to Madagascar. Then, THIS happened, and I knew it was pure gold.
I really considered removing the priest and the glass of scotch and even the sex ed teacher because it seemed TOO absurd. I mean, if I read this, I KNOW I wouldn't believe the writer. But how can I justify toning down the truth to make a TRUE story more believeable for people I don't even know? Also, keep in mind that my writing is 99% for me. I wrote it for MY enjoyment. If I'm going to write something for me, I'm not going to fudge the truth to impress you. Hell, I laughed the wholetime I wrote it.
In other news, I'm going over there today. If I never post again, it's because I'm buried in their backyard.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-12-08 13:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THATS' SOME FUNNY ASS SHIT MAN... all the power to you..
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-12-08 10:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was going to be a rip-off of some Home Improvement episode about "The Look".
Very funny.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-12-08 10:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought this post was gonna be about Roxette!
you remember that song..."shes got the look...na na na naaa na, nan. nana nannaa."
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-08 09:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was excellent except for 32 things, one your trying to pass it off as true, two you said its your first post, three I've read the same story roughly before.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-12-08 08:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kleptomania (user info) at 2003-12-08 08:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
glorious.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-12-08 07:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sooooo . . . Did he cum or what?
Jesus Christ Gil! There are just some things you don't talk about in public.
Excellent first post!
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-08 07:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great first post. Funny as hell.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2003-12-08 07:09:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to go!
Submitted by sjudrum (user info) at 2003-12-08 03:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Simply wonderful. Your storytelling skills far surpass your age. Kudos on your first post. It was an immersive experience.
Submitted by Retro (user info) at 2003-12-08 03:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comedy.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-08 03:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, it's a good story, true, stretched or complete fiction.
Welcome to Ubersite, Adam Sandler.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2003-12-08 02:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story.
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-12-08 02:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for a funny story
-2 for passing it off as true
Submitted by MAcG at 2003-12-08 02:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kickass...I mean sorry bro
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-12-08 01:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is absolutely incredible.
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2003-12-07 23:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever notice that there a lot of dicks on ubersite that just love to give someone a rating lower than 2 for stupid reasons (perhaps all their posts suck and they are jealous). Nice story, I felt like I was in it.
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-07 23:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"6) A clearly intoxicated, drunk Uncle (we all had one) with a glass of scotch in his hand....."
I considered NOT writing this because it seemed TOO ridiculous and TOO stereotypical, but then I decided to tell the truth. The truth was funnier. On the buffet in the dining room was a glass container of scotch with glasses. That's where he picked it up.
The father had a beer bottle. Would you have liked to have known that too? It didnt seem noteworthy. However, a drunk uncle with scotch was DEFINITELY noteworthy. Sorry I lost a believer.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2003-12-07 23:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job. I have some doubts in my mind but I was in need of a good laugh.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2003-12-07 23:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If you want to write fiction make it credible. One fatal flaw was when you wrote:
"6) A clearly intoxicated, drunk Uncle (we all had one) with a glass of scotch in his hand....."
What? He just happens to carry a glass of scotch with him all the time?
Also I never had a drunken uncle. I am one.
Submitted by too_lazy_to_register at 2003-12-07 22:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny. At least you got to have some fun with her. Families always screw up everything you like. :(
Submitted by Arata (user info) at 2003-12-07 22:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha... Fucking great...
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-12-07 22:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There has to be more to this story..but what you told us was just right.
Nice job.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-12-07 22:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAA
this was a perfect first post.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2003-12-07 22:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass (+2)
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2003-12-07 21:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what a great story. i loved the part when you described the nine looks
very well written also
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2003-12-07 21:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This a great story but ultimately bullshit.
Submitted by Korik (user info) at 2003-12-07 21:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not that you need it but here's another +2... Awesome tail, er tale Sandman.
"The boy that I was whispers to the man that I am 'Remember'." - Korik
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-12-07 21:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yum.
Submitted by InSaNeSna1L (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAH....so are you still with her?
awesome stuff
Submitted by Stupac (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:54:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A masterpiece. I want the good look...
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The father actually did start to take a run at me, but the mom yelled and he stopped. Plus they had the Aunt to deal with. When they left with the ambulance, they told me to fucking go home. Aftermath will probably start tomorrow. I think I'll make an appearance at the house.
She said it's going to be alright. I guess we'll see.
First posts usually get ripped apart, don't they?
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking A Great Post.
Excellent.
+MotherFuckin 2
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Please regale us with the details of the aftermath. Does her father chase you down the street with his riding lawn mower?
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
6) A clearly intoxicated, drunk Uncle (we all had one) with a glass of scotch in his hand and a smug smirk on his face that assured me I was a goner.
+2 for this one ALONE...
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooooooooooooo ouch.
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'm definitely going to like it here.
As for the rest of the situation, the ambulance came. She was fine, apparently she just passed out.
The girl got in trouble, but apparently they're getting over it. She's almost as smooth as me when it comes to explanations for ridiculous behaviors. She said they listened for the last 10 solid minutes.
Hell no I didn't make that up. I wouldn't even believe it was possible except it happened to ME.
Oh, and yea, she's DEFINITELY a keeper.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:38:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for a great post
-1 because "My first post..."
Submitted by Haltier (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Post.
Submitted by jt <jcricket1120.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-07 20:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pray that you didn't make that up. that story was unreal and truth is often stranger than fiction. How exactly did you get out of that situation and what was the aftermath? stick with that chic, she's a keeper
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking awesome.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Look is ever present in my mind. I can only hope that the laughter I have now will save my soul."
[This is a winner... a real winner...]
"My first post..."
[D'OH! CLUSTERFUCK!]
The rule of first post is sadly a lesson that can only be learned once. This was pretty bitch'n though.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bored at work!!!
Holy shit, that was the funniest post I've read in a while. A woman almost died and there was a priest there and an abstinence teacher. Wow. That is too crazy.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Make sure her parents don't belt her to sleep, k?
She sounds like a great girl, so that's why I say that.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-12-07 20:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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