My Funny Friends (1029 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: 0.8 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by pimpbuster (View user info) at 2003-12-08 12:35:06 EST
My friends can be more fun to make fun of than retards. So much so I decided to write about them.
My friend Travis is a born wingman. So much so he enjoys it. I think this is so because he doesn't know that he is a certified grenade jumper. He can't do any better unless I or other friends help him out and give him a grenade to pounce on. Really.
You have to first have an idea of what he's like He lacks any taste or morals and is incredibly sex starved for those reasons. He has told me in off hours how he'd love to slam a high school girl (he's 22). He's checked out some rat-faced-queen-cumdumpsters. He believes anything a girl tells him. He's sporting wood if a girl just talks to him while in line for the one (1) bathroom, and he'll think he has a real chance with her.
However there is a dark side to having a friend who you can count on to take one for the team. For as much as he is wingman, he is also "that guy".
I've seen girls grab their girlfriends away from him. I've seen girls get very visably trapped by him. Worst of all is he's killed deals for me.
I don't go out with the expectation of getting laid or even as much as a phone number. I usually just try to strike up some conversation, buy a couple drinks, and hopefully make a few friends. Not Travis. He has to jump in and go for the goal right off. Mind you he's not very good looking (not that I am either) but when he's drunk "he looks good" (his words). Aw hell.
Anyway you may be asking why I bother bringing him along. Well, quite simply it's really funny watching him in action. He has had some mild success, even brought me in on some, but then I had to do all the work. Lucky me.
So I'll leave with this, honor thy wingman, but watch your back when he's around. He can kill a deal as much as he can help close it!
User Reviews
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-11-30 22:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't really seem to have a point, wasn't humerous, and was also dragged out
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not the best written piece, but since I haven't averaged above zero in my last few attempts I certainly won't knock you for it.
I always offer my assistance to be "the wingman" if it seems a friend may require it. Sometimes I'll go as a "support guy" if a friends goin on a blind date or somethin (to break the mood should she be fugly and a slore)
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:30:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heres to the Wingman!
Submitted by ann_landers (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"PeopleAreStrange/PAS" needs lovin' too... :-\
except for that whole moped analogy...
Travis... mount up.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2003-12-08 13:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 because it is under Libertarians and +1 because you do not think you are very good looking. A good wingman can often just provide comfortable banter and distract the friend while you go home and score. In other words you need a wingman who is a little less desperate to get some. Try changing up the roles sometime. Clearly you have better social skills, why don't you act as the wingman and let your friend loose on some girls who clearly cannot take their pick but he finds doable.