She speaks, yet she says nothing... (1081 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.38 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <saved_by_sin.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-08 17:46:10 EST
I take a multimedia/animating course. In my room of about thirty or so people, I get to sit across from the door, in a corner. Beside me sits a woman of about 120 pounds, with brown hair and the most beautiful smile (and eyes) ever. She is really good company as well. Most days, that is; today, she was not.
Sometimes, my mind wanders. At about 11:30 or so, I started thinking maybe I was wasting my time in this class. That maybe I'd be better suited for something else. What if this whole thing was just a big waste of a few of my years? There really isn't a damn thing I can do to get those years back. What if this whole thing was the wrong thing to do...? What then? I tried to regain my focus on my project, but I just couldn't.
My train of thought was knocked clean off the tracks by the loudest fart I've ever heard. I nearly burst out laughing, then realized where it came from. Yeah, that's right. From the girl sitting next to me. She sat there, a huge grin on her face, trying not to laugh. I wanted to say something; anything to break the akward silence (as if any of it was still intact). I just couldn't think of anything, until...
"...good one."
I nearly hit myself. She started giggling. For a moment, I thought she was giggling at me, but then it hit me. The smell... Crazy blue hell, what a smell! It smelled like someone had taken an entire sack of rotten potatoes, tossed them into a big bowl of sour milk, then cooked the whole damn thing. I tried not to inhale the steamy, creeping cloud of death, but it was just too much for me. Within a few seconds, everyone within five meters got up "to go to the bathroom." Traces of that methane missle from hell hovered in the room for a good five minutes.
On my way home, I picked up four cans of chilli. Tomorrow we'll see whose boss.
User Reviews
Submitted by Flipper (user info) at 2004-01-22 12:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't you have a girlfriend? and aren't you engaged??? She would be pissed if she saw what you wrote about this girl....YOU SUCK. GO DIE YOU FUCKTARD!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2003-12-09 00:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a desire to fuck her until she farts again.
That'll be $400. Thank you for your patronage.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2003-12-08 23:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-12-08 19:02:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
The first post about farting was acceptable, but they keep being made, and now they just piss me off.
___________________
I've been noticing that a lot lately too. Don't know why they're so popular lately, but hey, whatever works I guess...
Hopefully this is the last post I'll make about that subject. With me sitting in the same place every day day, it better damn well be the last time.
Submitted by NickTheDivine (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Farting is funny because its shit without the mess.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2003-12-08 21:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I almost did laugh my ass off... It was so damn hard not to. I remember leaving after class and thinking, "Crap, now I have to put my clothes through the wash with some tomato juice" Hey, it works when a skunk sprays you. This wasn't much better."
That is pretty funny.
And Zeccs, farting, shitting, and pissing have got to be the funniest things in the entire world. The only things that could possibly beat them are
-people doing stupid things (i.e. trying to do a blue dart and lighting their butthole on fire)
-people getting hurt (i.e. the "funny gif" post earlier. Except that kid reminds me of me)
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-08 19:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I nearly did a spit-take when I came across "Good one" and I will make sure to include "There is a thick myst of shite in the air" in the next appropriate setting.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2003-12-08 19:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The first post about farting was acceptable, but they keep being made, and now they just piss me off.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What? Since when have girls ever farted? Do they poop too? I mean, I never heard one say, 'Hey Charlene, let's hit up the bathroom to drop a big one'
Learn something new every day. Fucking amazing.
Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:47:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats sweet girls that fart and think its funny are cool
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:54:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because of the way that you reacted. I would have laughed my ass off. When I caught wind of the smell I would have said,
"There is a thick myst of shite in the air."
_______________________
I almost did laugh my ass off... It was so damn hard not to. I remember leaving after class and thinking, "Crap, now I have to put my clothes through the wash with some tomato juice" Hey, it works when a skunk sprays you. This wasn't much better.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:33:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking whore
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-08 18:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you will marry her.
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for taking it as a challenge
Submitted by jewleeyah (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh! phhtt!
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2003-12-08 17:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because of the way that you reacted. I would have laughed my ass off. When I caught wind of the smell I would have said,
"There is a thick myst of shite in the air."
Submitted by . at 2003-12-08 17:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"On my way home, I picked up four cans of chilli. Tomorrow we'll see whose boss."
Funny.