The real dangers in Iraq (7329 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.72 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by J Ellis <jarretttai.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-09 05:33:41 EST
I thought of this post as I discussed with a group of friends that friendly little critter we've got down here known as the "camel spider."
If you know someone that was deployed during Desert Storm, or who has just returned from Iraq, you might have heard of this guy.
This spider/scorpion has a bad reputation of being able to run 30 mph, jump 3 feet in the air, and make meals of some poor GI's face by injecting an anaesthetic into the flesh and chowing down.
They can actually run 10mph (pretty fucking fast), I've never seen one jump, and never seen one eat human flesh, although I've got guys that swear they've seen it. They're a cross between a spider and a scorpion and are fucking mean. These spiders make all the other spiders I've seen look like bitches. This spider will bitchslap you and call your mom a whore. They grow from 1-6 inches long, are nocturnal, and have a nasty habit of crawling in bed with you at night. They've got huge jaws and inflict a wicked bite. This is the shit nightmares are made of. They love the light, and if you like to sleep with a night-light, or a heater, your ASKING for an unwelcome visitor in the morning. During the day, if you scare up one, they try to get back into the shadows. If you happen to be the only "shadow" around, they chase you around until you can step on them.
Moving on to the more dangerous critters, this one is known as the "Death-Stalker Scorpion." It is the most poisonous scorpion in the world. It probably won't kill you if your big and healthy, but if your sick, old, or young, they can kill you in 7 hours. These guys also like to sleep with large warm things, and scare the shit out of me.
The bad daddy of the desert is the "Saw-scaled Viper." I haven't yet seen one, but I have researched it and if one bites you, you've got approximately 48 hours to get to medical aid before you suffer massive hemorraging from all body openings and die.
Sleep well.
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User Reviews
Submitted by DaN_88 at 2004-04-08 16:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually that kinda reminds me of a spider that climbed in through my window one night. I jumped like hell and tried stepping on the thing but it wouldnt die...eurgh! Anyway im starting to feel them on me now! You're not the only one Kristen!
Submitted by DaN_88 at 2004-04-08 16:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Turns out 'camel spiders' are not spiders but 'Solfugids'which belong to the arachnid class! Check the link for more info on them anyway...
http://home.global.co.za/~quagga/solpugid.htm
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-12-10 13:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha.... yes, scary ass scorpion/spider fucks. My sentiments exactly.
-J
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:33:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scary-ass scorpion/spider-fucks!
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hah, the real dangers...
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-12-09 13:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet I'm scrolling past that fucker faster than Kristen! My shoulders are up around my ears. I don't know why, but I swear they're going to go after my neck. I must protect it!
ANYONE OVER THERE WITH THOSE BASTERS:
KILL AS MANY AS YOU CAN FOR ME!
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-12-09 13:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was told about the "Death Stalker" when I came in, but I dunno whether the ones I've seen are Death Stalkers... however, they look like scorpions, and in my head Scorpion= Bad.
I looked up the shit on the death stalker and on the camel spider to make sure I wasn't spreading rumors, but I HAVE seen them chase peoples shadows and I know they run like bastards.
-J
ps. I'm not even trying to catch one of those things, I just use my e-tool to end their reign of terror.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-12-09 10:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damnit, I feel them on me.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-12-09 10:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK YOU
Submitted by Cup_of_Joe (user info) at 2003-12-09 10:13:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have stepbrother down there. He did mention about the camel-spiders. He said that they do this scream when they run. It's really freaky too and it messes you up when you are in the open. Cause you don't know if its a missle or a screaming suicide bomber or something like that. They sound like a shrieking little kid. So far he or anyone he knows has never been bit before. But he says that those spiders are fast and really smart too. They even make great pranks for throwing in tanks.
Thank you and drive thru
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-12-09 09:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeep. that's some scary shit... i have 3 friends who just got back from Quatar, but i didnt hear any stories about the bugs there
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2003-12-09 08:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The camel spiders don't have venom, they just crush the crap out of what they eat with their mandibles. And people always think that they are chasing them, but in fact, the spider is only moving into their shadow to keep away from the sun. I think the "death-stalker" scorpion was a bit exagerated. We didn't hear anything like that from our country briefings, and we also caught a buttload of scorpions...
Submitted by Choppa (user info) at 2003-12-09 07:34:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there's a spider in Sydney called a Funnel web spider that lifts it's two front legs and squirts venom from its mouth just to prove a point, and then charges at people.
but they can only really kill young children and pets.
snakes down here are more impressive. or the jellyfish. or the sharks. or the crocs. koalas love peeing on people. it always happens. if you wanna hold one for a photo opportunity, bring a spare shirt.
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-09 06:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chemicals such as bug sprays are not recommended as they most likely will do nothing but make the spider angry, said officials.
Officials also warn against trying to capture a camel spider to serve as a pet or mascot. Avoidance is the key.
Yes, they DO jump. Yes, they DO bite. Yes, they DO get pissed at the airport when you try to smuggle one through customs.
Submitted by natedawg (user info) at 2003-12-09 05:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i think kristen should see this picture.
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-12-09 05:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, don't have my digital camera hooked up, so I stole this image. I think you can see the credits on the image.
-J
ps. They get bigger than 6 inches.