Cum in my coworkers coffee (1276 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.64 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Trevor Johnson <trevcali.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-09 19:00:24 EST
Me and one of my coworkers have been getting into these little prank wars at work. I think he is actually real bitter that he is getting owned lately. So there I am working on Excel when the big boss comes in.
Big Boss:"Hey Trev how's it goin dude"
Me:Um good
Big Boss: Hey Richardson is so pleased with your file client packages that he wanted to talk to you about being his personal assistant.
Ok, so now instead of being 10 people's bitch I can be one person's bitch. The fact he called me dude obviuosly showed he is a fuckin dipshit, but at least I wouldn't be working for that fat fuck anymore. This sounded like my best chance to get into higher law when I graduate in a year.
Me; OH definetely, I would be honored.
Big boss: GREAT! well...
In the middle of his sentance, BIG BIG boss comes in...
Big big boss: Hey hey, there's my worker. How you doin bud?
Me: Great, I heard you want to talk to me?
Big Big Boss: Yeah, well, I am pleased with your performance at work and I want you upstairs. However you need to stop using the internet for recreational uses.
Shit, I thought.
Me: Ok, no problem sir.
Big big boss: While im here lets take a look at the Pary file..
He then clicks on my desktop only to seee a huge gay PORN AD come up. I heard a buzz from my blasted up speakers, then I heard, " I LIKE GAY PORN, I LIKE GAY PORN, I LIKE GAY PORN...." I looked out the window only to see my prankster co-worker laughing so hard his face was bright red and his body was writhing on the floor like a shriveled penis.
Me: uhhhh huh I uh I...
Big Big Boss And Big boss: What in all that is holy!?!?!
Me: It wasn't me!!
Big Boss: Damnit Trevor, I told you to stop this shit at work.
The bigger boss smirked, patted me on the back and walked out. I sat with my head in my hands as I just watched my life pass me by. Fuck face co-worker was still laughing his ass off. I got off my seat headed out my office and walked out of the building for a moment of silence. I went to my office and went back to work for the rest of the day. The next night when I was having sex I saved my gizz and put it in some tupper ware. My co-workers all had smirks on their fat fuckin faces. I walked over to my prankster co-worker's cubicle and dumped my prize giz into his coffee cup. Then I proceeded to take pieces of my dog's shit and smear it all over his Subway sandwhich. I walked out and waited in my office. The fucker walked into my office sipping his gizzed up coffee and taking nibbles from his sandwhich. He was leaning on my doorway smirking, "hey shit happens, and speaking of shit this sandwhich tastes like shit. Im gonna go to fuckin Quiznos from now on".
Me: Hey guess what?
co-worker: what
Me; You know that sandwhich you are eating?
Co-worker: ya....
Me:It IS shit I smeared my dogs shit all over the inside of it. It is between the turkey and salomi.
his face turned pale white as he opened the sandwhich.
Co-worker: OH GOD. gAGGgggg...
Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Fucker thats what you get!
He ran into the restroom and threw up all morning. I heard he got really sick from the shit. Heh, I ended up getting promoted, but it was still funny as a bullfrog caught in a electric socket.
User Reviews
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-18 13:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe I missed this! You still suck.
Submitted by Canadian_Mick (user info) at 2003-12-10 16:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There are just so many things wrong with this, I don't know where to start.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-12-10 00:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't give this more than a +0, on pure principle.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2003-12-09 21:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a +2 until
"Big Boss: Damnit Trevor, I told you to stop this shit at work."
After that it was just cliched and boring. If you're going to pull a prank, don't do the textbook "fucking with a dude's food," and definitely don't write about it - it's so tired.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-12-09 20:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by QueenBea (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
HAHAHAH, evil, pure evil, I love it.
Queen
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I found this to be entertaining.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Next time you lie, make it less obvious.
-Tom
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hear all the Dallas Cowgirls want to have sex with you because of how great you are.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Big Big Boss: Yeah, well, I am pleased with your performance at work and I want you upstairs. However you need to stop using the internet for recreational uses. "
You should listen to your boss. It is obvious he reads your Ubersite posts and wishes us to be happy.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Big Big Boss: Yeah, well, I am pleased with your performance at work and I want you upstairs. However you need to stop using the internet for recreational uses.
Oh God, we can only hope! This is almost too good to be true!
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by MisterCeltic (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think it was very considerate of your coworker to laugh; it's your right to like gay porn. It certainly isn't my thing but you go right ahead, gay is beautiful. One question though; how did you 'save your jizz'? Run to the kitchen with a raging hard-on or did your boyfriend just refrain from swallowing until you got back with a container? He's definitely open-minded, you should hang onto him.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:19:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I haven't read this yet, but I just wanted to say that you should title all your posts "It's time for your daily eye-sore, courtesy of Trevor."
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-09 19:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, good story bro!
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't think its the sandwich that is full of shit.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jaineix (user info) at 2003-12-09 19:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like your co-worker may dislike you as much as almost everyone here does.