Lucky the dog, or, I'm a mean person. (583 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by J Ellis <jarretttai.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-12 10:13:34 EST
"Hey J, you wanna come over and drink some vodka and watch Family Guy tonight?" Kevin asked.
"Sure man, you got the new ones already?" I replied.
"Yeah, just show up about 6, and I'll throw some burgers on the grill."
"Cool," I thought, "Free Alcohol and Family Guy, doesn't get any better than that." I proceeded home to prepare, make sure I was good on cigarettes and had clean clothes.
I boarded a bus about 5:45pm and anxiously awaited the promised Family Guy and Vodka. I arrived at his pad around 6:00 and rang the doorbell many times, obnoxiously, so he would know it was me.
*bzzzt* "Come on up man, and be careful of the dog."
"Oh shit, he's got an irritating dog, that really sucks." I thought, but enamored with the promise of Vodka and Family Guy, I made my way to the door of his apartment.
Suddenly the door swung open and Kevin invited me in, showed me to the living room and told me he wanted to show me his dog.
"Here he is," he said, "Meet Lucky."
I couldn't speak. I wanted to laugh, cry, and smoke a cigarette all at the same time. "WHAT DO I SAY?" I thought frantically.
"Um, is he a chihuaha?" was my timid response.
Suddenly, before he could answer, I started to laugh. Not just a chuckle, or a giggle, or even a full out laugh. This was a rolling on the ground-crying-I can't breathe-make it stop-type laugh.
He had a chihuaha that was paralyzed from the hind legs down, in a doggie-wheelchair, with a diaper on. And someone decided that his name should be "Lucky."
Thoughts of a trailer-hitch crossed my mind. Maybe a set of blinkers? Give him a third wheel and you can call him tripod! Oooh, attach him to your car on family trips! I couldn't stop. Hydraulics. Ground Effects. A doggie collar with handlebars on it.
"Stop laughing, Stop laughing, Stop LAUGHING!" My conscienced screamed, and I finally wound down to an almost inaudible murmuring with an interjected chuckle every few seconds.
"It's not really that funny man." Kevin said, with more than a slight bit of irritation edging his voice.
"I know, Kevin, but did you really have to name him Lucky?" I asked.
Little did I know that those would be the last words I'd ever speak to Kevin in friendship. I hear Lucky is doing fine now. Well, as well as could be expected for a parapalegic dog.
Have you ever changed a doggie diaper?
-J
User Reviews
Submitted by TimK622 (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your friend has no sense of irony... +2 for at least *trying* to stifle yourself
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2003-12-12 15:13:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My God, that guy needs to find a sense of humor.
And _bart_ is so pathetic he makes me sad... and angry... and a little hungry.
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-12-12 13:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awesome, someone enjoyed the story. Kickass.
-J
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2003-12-12 13:24:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
""It's not really that funny man." Kevin said, with more than a slight bit of irritation edging his voice."
That's what got me.
Funny story!
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by JannyB (user info) at 2003-12-12 12:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats great!!!
oh man, the light effects really got me. Or if he got NOS installed in that puppy.
oh and "_Bart_", you fucktard of an faggot who tries to impersonate a web developer in which he idolizes because he developed a site which he enjoys, he took a bus maybe because he was drinking you fagbox.
Submitted by Embryophagous (user info) at 2003-12-12 11:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have laughed as well. How could any self-respecting Family Guy fan not find that dog's situation hilarious?
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-12-12 10:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Family Guy is savage
Submitted by _Bart_ (user info) at 2003-12-12 10:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You took the bus?
Get a car you bum
Consider yourself demoted
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2003-12-12 10:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Like the rank says: It made me smile.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-12-12 10:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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