Nose Hairs (1343 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <chateaudisaster.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-12 16:26:22 EST
Here's a complaint:
Men who have very visable nose hairs. I'm not talking about a stray hair hanging down, like a little rope that some booger is going to climb down to freedom. Those happen to everybody and you just hope that you find it before someone else does. Usually a good yank is all that's needed to get it (of course, sometimes it doesn't come out right away...and your eyes tear up...and you have to pull again).
No, friends, I'm talking about a virtual nose hair forest.
I'm a professional - shirt and tie every day. I work with other professionals. And it never ceases to amaze me how many of them have nose hair forests. You stand there, talking business with someone wearing an $800 suit, an Hermes tie (*very* expensive for you jeans-and-t-shirt types), a law (or other advanced) degree...and nose hairs visible from outer space.
Once the nose hairs are seen, it's almost impossible to think about or look at anything else. And, again, it's not just one or two - there are DOZENS hanging out, from every possible part of the nostril: front, back, sides. Some are longer than others...some are gray...some are dark black. If the person has a mustache, they tend to be bit less visable, because they blend in with the hair. But if their upper lip is clean, they are like snakes crawling on a clear beach.
Don't these men ever look in a mirror? Can't they see what the rest of us see? These aren't bums on the street - these are men who make big deals! Personally, why should I trust or believe in a person who doesn't even have good enough personal grooming habits to see the DAMN HAIRS flowing out of his nose like a friggin' river!?!?
Perhaps the worst part about it is, most of these men are MARRIED!! Why is that so bad? It means their wives either don't notice (how can you NOT notice?), don't care, or just don't care enough to say something (which is just mean). Maybe some women have a nose hair fetish. ("Honey, let's have sex tonight...but you be on top so I can see those sexy nose hairs!") Perhaps they post ads like this: "SWF, 29, looking for well-educated man with a sense of humor who loves kids and pets. Wild nose hairs a BIG plus!"
Of course, after the first encounter, all you remember about the person is the nose hairs. So, the next time you see them the first thing you look for are the hairs! Usually they are there, but sometimes - every now and then - they are gone. And then you wonder: Did they finally notice? Did their wife (or girlfriend) say something? Were they embarrassed that all this time they had a fuckin' forest coming out of their snotter?
Ugh...I'm going to go vomit...and make sure I don't have any visible nose hairs...
User Reviews
Submitted by SuperSwank (user info) at 2004-04-30 22:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
CLASSIC
"SWF, 29, looking for well-educated man with a sense of humor who loves kids and pets. Wild nose hairs a BIG plus!"
Submitted by Lady_Emily_03 (user info) at 2003-12-13 14:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't agree more.
I once dated a guy considerably taller than me and everytime I'd look up at him while we were hugging I got a clear shot of his nose-hair forest. We didn't last long.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-12-13 05:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I only pluck two things:
My eyebrows (I have a unibrow)
My nosehairs (when they're visible)
Does that make this 21-year old guy less masculine? I don't think so. I hope not.
Submitted by Nepa (user info) at 2003-12-13 05:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant! My frenchteacher back in High School had the same problem. His face was covered in nostril- and earhairs. I still blame him for the fact that I never learned french. Damn you, nostrilhairs!
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2003-12-12 19:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristen - no, this is *not* exclusively an "old person problem." I'm in my early 30s...as are many of the people I notice with hairy noses.
And ear hair is a bit different - you really have to work to see inside your own ear (it usually involves multiple mirrors angled just right...or taking a picture). You see your own nose every day in the mirror.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-12 18:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But this also leads to the worst Christmas gift of all time, the nose hair trimmer.
Submitted by Embryophagous (user info) at 2003-12-12 17:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed. Unkempt nose hair is a source of disdain for others.
Even worse: women who have large dark moles on their faces or necks that are sprouting several long dark hairs. How can you not notice that? Creepy, creepy, creepy.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:51:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that exclusively an old person problem?
+2 for the line about a booger climbing a nose hair like a rope to freedom...
Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:50:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, that was funny
good job
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18750
heh heh ...
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:36:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad for a first post! Nothing like a good rant to get you rolling.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by TimK622 (user info) at 2003-12-12 16:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ditto for ear hair....how do people let it go that long?!?! I go without shaving for a few days, at most...but nasal and ear hair, they're just disgusting!