Your Suburban Was Not Built For One Alone (801 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.33 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ingsoc (View user info) at 2003-12-12 18:59:06 EST
The previous Friday I was riding on a transit bus. Looking out the window into the cold, I saw something that captured and fucked my current train of thought in the ass. It wasn't a military vehicle (in the past I've seen them cruise through the city streets at a good speed) or a plane crash blocking the road (we just had one maybe one or two years ago). It was just an ordinary car, but something was distinctly different.
It was seating four people, actually filling the passenger capacity.
Then I looked around, and saw why I was so shocked. Every other vehicle was carrying a single passenger. I had never before taken notice of this. This Dodge Shadow broke Winnipeg tradition by hauling more people than usual. Everywhere else I looked, it was the same thing. The suited man in the Acura MDX on his cellphone, the businesswoman sipping coffee in her new Chrysler Pacifica, the middle-aged casual Friday guy cruising in his Nissan Pathfinder- all of these people were riding solo.
This is somewhat of a disturbing trend. I heard that over ten thousand cars driving on Portage Avenue alone (the principle roadway in this city, itself being an arm of the Trans-Canada) have only one passenger. And it's usually the richer among us, and richer people means a more trendy and expensive car, which means worse gas mileage. These include the Cadillac Deville, Audi A8, Buick Park Avenue, and Lincoln Town Car.
If the average fuel economy of these cars is (as a liberal estimate) 25 miles per gallon, with 20 miles per gallon for the SUVs (SUVs and minivans make up more than a quarter of these vehicles), with each travelling on a two-way journey of 25 total miles...
Each car ends up using a gallon of gas, and each SUV ends up using at least one and a quarter. The end result is 10 625 gallons burned in a day, 74 375 gallons in a week, 297 500 gallons a month, and 3 570 000 gallons a year. That total includes only the single passenger vehicles. I would think that's rather much for a relatively small group of people.
For those of us in the UK, Australia, or other metric country, those measurements would be equal to 40 219L in one day, 281 539L in one week, 1 126 156L in a month, and 13 513 878L in a year. That's still a lot of fuckin' gas!
Your car was built for more than one. Start using it how it was meant to be used. Whether it's made to cruise across rugged terrain, to beat your coworkers to the office, or as a vessel for getting laid, bring someone else along with you!
To save gas, General Motors and Ford should make a car that runs on plutonium. I don't see how future generations or the environment could possibly be jeapordised by something as sound and sensible as that.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-01-06 23:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Update- yesterday there was a black Excursion, same as above though much dirtier, parked across the back lane.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-12-13 02:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"don't come bitching to us when your home country looks like fucking Japan and the air you breathe comes close to dangerous to breathe."
MMMMM carbon monoxide, now that's good eatin'!
Too bad I won't be around to enjoy it, eh?
AHAHAHAH, here, another -2 just to make you bitch again(it's pretty funny).
Submitted by blowdeadbears <blowdeadbears.at.mailinator.com> at 2003-12-13 01:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Titan - WOW, thats all I got to say. WOW, you know you really opened my eyes with that. I take back what I said. Nope...wait just a sec. Still don't give a flying shit. Cockstick!!!!
Submitted by ieuph (user info) at 2003-12-13 01:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for being generally right-on
+1 again for taking the bus
-1 for taking it becuase you're lazy
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-12-13 01:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When you put it that way it sounds like a literal Cleveland steamer of hippie ideals and closeted Marxism.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-12-13 01:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sure, buddy.
Submitted by Titan (user info) at 2003-12-13 00:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
those who gave -2, or 0, remember, don't come bitching to us when your home country looks like fucking Japan and the air you breathe comes close to dangerous to breathe. You assholes can choke on the fucking fumes you produced.
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2003-12-12 21:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What hidden said...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-12 21:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's okay, Marge. I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too
much for one man. It's clear now why God portions it out in those
tiny packets, and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Rival
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-12-12 21:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SO?
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-12-12 21:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Saving the environment is nice and all but public transportation really sucks. I miss my car so much.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-12-12 21:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i own an SUV, and i'm the only passenger 99% of the time. do i feel bad? no.
Submitted by Chad_Sexington (user info) at 2003-12-12 20:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/16412
Submitted by The_Menzatron_Persuasion (user info) at 2003-12-12 20:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just realised, the negative comments are all (both!) from fucktards.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-12-12 20:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What, you think I'm a hippie? Nothing could be further from the truth. I only took the bus because I was too fucking lazy to do anything else. And I'm not going to wait fifteen minutes to heat up the Goddamn car. I'd rather just hop on the 20 Academy and be done with it.
Submitted by NickTheDivine (user info) at 2003-12-12 20:27:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your calculations are wrong, stupid shit. You're obviously poor, get a real fucking job.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2003-12-12 20:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Only an asshole who loves public transportation or has a P.O.S. (Piece Of Shit)
would love this post. Car pooling is for cheap assholes who can't afford a car
or gas and is too much of a pussy to tough it out on public transportation.
Fuck the environment. Fuck the baby seals. Fuck the pipline issues. Fuck the
electric cars and the people that use them.
I make a decent amount of money and I will drive the best car I can. My next
car is the Hummer H2, as soon as my lease is due on the Cad in March it's H2 time!
I eat meat too. I love tuna and if it has lil pieces of dolphin in it, woopie!
I smoke!
I own a chrome plating facility and emit gasses into the ozone at an alarming
rate.
It makes me proud knowing that my Cadillac is burning fuel, I consumed the flesh
of a helpless cute animal, my chrome plating tank is emmiting gases that deplete
the ozone layer and contaminating the ground water.
It's better then a fricken lazer that can destroy the moon! Muhahahahaaa! Muhaha!
Muhahahahahaaaaaa! (Doctor Evil)
Submitted by blowdeadbears <blowdeadbears.at.mailinator.com> at 2003-12-12 19:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmmmm...Fuck the environment, Fuck sucking up every last drop of oil on the planet, Fuck taking public transit, and especially Fuck walking. Go hug a god damn tree, and quit being jealous that your sitting beside some slobbering fucking retard on the bus instead of driving your own gas-suckin biotch of an SUV. Cockstick !!!
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2003-12-12 19:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-12 19:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-12 19:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice post.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-12 19:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture and the caption. Another +2 for being right about everyone having huge cars to drive by themselves.