Ubercon-Friday night, a tale by txyankee (936 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.64 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by txyankee (View user info) at 2003-12-15 12:27:08 EST
I can't believe I survived it. This last weekend probably took a couple of years off my
life. So without further ado, Ubercon 2003 as remembered by txyankee.(which isn't much)
The ride with lauren1, jmg114 and the first red on the head was good; we made great time
and got to the hotel around 6 o'clock Friday night. As soon as I walk in the casino
I see a Hooters and I knew at that point that everything was going to be ok. Since I had never posted a picture razor thought I was Apollo at first, but I also screwed up at hooters
When I asked if firefly was coming and she was sitting at the table with us (sorry sweetie)
Hooters was a blast, there must have been a shortage of girls that night because our waitress didn't fit the Hooters mold, if you will. You've seen the pick from hooters so you know who was there.( http://www.ubersite.com/m/20649) We ate 75 wings and drank a pitcher or six, and were
then forced to make decisions for that evening. Me and a few others went to go get high and
Get changed for the evening's events.
Was the last one out of the room and was told to meet at the Hummer in 15 minutes. So I go to
the bar which is right by the hummer.(if I has fallen back on my bar stool, I would have hit
my head on it) so I wait, 15 min, 30min, 45min, 60min, where the hell is ocean at? Of course
during this whole time I'm getting extremely drunk at the bar. I must have drunken at least
8 bud lights and 6 shots of soco and lime. The bartender kept going, oops I over poured (how inconsiderate). So then I get up to look for everyone and head back to the rooms (laurens
and ricks on 21, ours on 14) And probably the most reoccurring thing that happened this weekend
was coming off the elevator with uber's getting on. So as I'm getting off about 15 people are
like hey were going to eat Asian food lets go, So I grab Indian and we hit up the Asian joint.
(For more info on this place go read Rizzo's post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/20665) -Now that's how you do Asian, Rizzo style!
Next everyone wants to stay in the hotel club called the wave, I know everyone else liked this club, but It wasn't just up to my standards, Its around 9:30 and I grab ocean and we go off
to the taj for this club I had been to last year which was off the heazzy! We get there and
its not open yet so were like "Fuck it" lets go play some poker. So we head over to the borgada,
a big purple casino which was brand spankin' new. We play some poker for about 4 hours or so
and then go back to check up on everyone else. We weren't even back in 2116 for ten minutes when hotel security comes busting in. The best part about this was lauren1 was trying to convince
them that we would keep it down, not realizing she is holding her bowl in her hand (nice going Lauren) So she starts kicking everyone over to ricks room and that's when I decide its time to
look at some boobies.
I ask everyone who wants to go to the strip club. Roll call-me, Indian ocean and reallybored.
So we hop in a cab and tell the driver to take us to the best one you got. Now when I told
this to the driver he must have thought I said the worst one you got, because that is where we wound up, the underbelly of Atlantic City. The women are not allowed to go topless (have to wear these tassels), however they are allowed to go toothless. Reallybored called some chick that
came up to him a crack whore and then as we were leaving he spit on her (this will be another reoccurring theme). So we leave after 10 minutes and a five-dollar beer and cover, and go around the corner to cocanutz. Hey there is no way this place can be worse, right.....Right!.....Wrong.
I don't know what the problem is with a.c. and its gentleman's establishments but that is one
thing I don't think they intend to improve on. So we figure our luck has run out and we steal
a cab from someone waiting and proceed back to 1416. It is now around 4 in the morning, so I'm trying to convince ocean and bored that we can still do something, but I get shot down and
decided it would be a good idea to same some energy for the evening. So I smoke a bowl, eat my Chinese leftovers and finish off with a piece of pumpkin pie I make for manfre.
Friday night in the books, no injuries, no arrests, so far so good.
Oh and I almost forgot, after the strip club while walking back to the room reallybored tried
to hit on a few girls unsuccessfully. Upon which everyone was given a "well, fuck you then whore" and then spit upon. He apparently didn't like spitting on just women. If we ever got separated
from this kid you could have followed the trail of spit from our room to wherever he was. He was also a fan of removing fire extinguishers from their holders as well (it's a good thing they
don't have cameras in the hotels)
And we tried to get Apollo and steve to go with us to the strip club but no one could figure
out how to call the damn foreign cell phone, and he was staying not in our hotel.
Part one for now, because part two could be even longer (but much, much better)
-Alan
User Reviews
Submitted by Ally <RubyILS02.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-12-28 12:13:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry your time in a.c. wasn't the best, but you did what you could... if your ever in that area again, i'd suggest going to dejavu night club, or club true which is open until 10am. as far as strip clubs, you did miss out... bare exposures is topless, and lap dances on stage are completely naked, pussy and juices all up in the face. this is cming from a girl, here. and all the woman have teeth there :0... enjoyed your story
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2003-12-16 12:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought Nicole had a boyfriend???
these Ubercon posts are awesome. hurry up w/ the next!
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-12-15 21:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry ocean, everyone will have to use their imagination when it comes to the happy ending.
only you and I will know what really happened that night.
-Alan
Submitted by momanlad (user info) at 2003-12-15 19:26:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Reallybored: i am quite confident that i can drink anyone under the table as long it's a purely beer based contest. Chuck in some spirits and i am fucked. As for the birds, i have been lobbying my mates for a lads holiday in the states for some time now. I really fancy chatting to loads of yanks. I enjoy chatting with yanks, its like chatting to a relative who looks the same (i admit this i subject to variation), talks the same language, has the same values and is in many ways incredibly similar but yet lives across the other side of the globe. similar with Australians and Kiwi's and Canadians etc. I blame the British empire for this, for without it we could all be speaking French right now.
Nobody likes an onion wearing, baguette munching frog.
As for the spitting - thats fucking rank and i would have complained. After complaining i would then have urinated in public - something which i can't stop myself from doing after too many sherbs.
This looks to have been a brilliant night. Little awkwardness - which is what i would have been worried about had i had the pecuniary clout to tout my wares.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-12-15 16:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhhhh the "happy ending"... the story leaks out... it's all good..
NICE WEEKEND.. GOOD TIMES.. GOOD POKER... HOT CHICKS.. everyone hitting on loren and red.. Bored spitting all over the place on teh way to the strip bar... i was calling him camel by the time he was done..... Smoking a bowl every 3 hours with Allan and sometime that guy who make that SYSTEM OVERLOAD post.. damnn forgot his name.. Jok***a something... he was with razor.. ummmmm whatelse.. firefly's voice.. very sweet voice by the way.... jared ordering at the asian restaurant in Sponge Bob's voice(that was so freakin funny.. the asian waiter was little confused)..
whatelse... ohh ya.. happy ending... ummm Bart waking me up when I was taking a nap.. and talking about how weird it is meeting ppl on the internet..
loren giving me the tighest hug ever.. I telling Loren how fit she looks...
more later...
good post Allan..
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-12-15 15:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry lauren, i didnt know if you guys would be interested in hearing about my sexual
escapades. but dont worry the will be in saturdays edition.
-Alan
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-12-15 15:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jinx - I mentioned in Jersey that I would be very into a Vegas trip for next year. They have better deals out there to boot.
- Good post Alan, but why didn't you tell us about your Saturday "happy ending" when we were driving???
I'm dissapointed!
I'm into New Year's... as long as I don't have to drive again. Too crazy a night to drive.
Reallybored... I'm sad, you mentioned nothing at all about hitting on me. Well, at least I didn't get spat upon. (You're going to love some of the pictures I have of you.)
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-12-15 14:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All the woman speaking to me purely on the basis of where i come from sounds pukka.
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The ladies we all about the english accent. Sat night i had some cheerleaders in my pocket till steve and jamie (apollo) rode up. Pulled the rug, right out from under me.
As for drinking: I think i held my own. I didnt drink as much, but i didnt puke either. Apollo cant say that...
Submitted by momanlad (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:34:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
QUOTE: "Trying to go drink for drink with the English kids. NOT a good idea"
I have been trying to say this for some time now. We are boozehounds in this fair isle - its all we have to do. You also chose a couple of scousers, even worse. Despite the fact that i hate scousers on the basis that they are from Liverpool, they are theives and fighters. The more i read the stuff about this ubercon the more i wish i had more than £10 in my bank account. All the woman speaking to me purely on the basis of where i come from sounds pukka.
Merry xmas everybody - booooo hoooooo Mr Humbug
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RB has a habit of spitting on HIMSELF when he gets really wasted. He doesn't care where he is...inside, outside, his room...most likely he doesn't spit in his car. haha. He's too obsessed with it!
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:53:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Shit! I cant believe i left out the chicken ceaser salad. that was two nights in a row
if i recall.
and i kid you not, apollo and his boy steve were the two biggest chick magnets. all they had
to do was open there mouth and the girls would come flocking. I swear these dudes were using
love potion #9. i once heard apollo tell this girl, "why don't you take you clothes off" and
the next thing i knew she was getting kicked out of the club for indecent exposure.
-Alan
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the hell IS Insane? Did you guys lose him? I don't think he's at work.
I feel like a worried mother.
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah hey, i tried to call apollo and left him a message, and i feel asleap right after and i missed a call from the port aurthority(where insane was lost), but i hadn't heard anyting since. But If
he is anything like this weekend, he will be a survivor. But with no jacket thats gotta be cold.
hey rick, I'll try to plan someting around new years bucause matt(reallybored) will be comming up
so we can go down to the city with lauren and jmg and crew.
I can't believe I left out JMG114's hair, i almost blew a load when he let me run my fingers through it.
And don't worry, I made up for the horrible(i guess you could call it tittie) bar with a very happy ending on saturday night(see part two wednesday)
-Alan
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heres some other highlights i can remember....
-Meeting a pornstar (www.shannongetsit.com)
-Meeting a surfer (it was about 20 degrees outside)
-Making out with a Mom
-Having steve (apollos boy) cockblock the shit out of me. Which was very funny.
-Trying to go drink for drink with the English kids. NOT a good idea.
-Eating a chicken cesar salad by myself at 4 in the morning both days at a resturante, completely fucking wasted
-Losing 500 on the tables
-Ashlee winning 50 on the fucking slots
-Hitting on Redd constantly, then getting shot down because i was too young. (Stamina loses to money everytime)
-Watching every single guys eyes light up when i mentioned Nicole was single
-Bathing in the glory that is Judoka's hair
...the list goes on...
Submitted by jinx (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha Ha!
Toothless wonders. She's working her way thru a full cap job, how admirable.
Jersey is dirty dawg, the real USDA ass is in Vegas, only their called "entertainment coordiators". Haha. I hope Tom's plan to host an Ubermeet in Vegas comes together, I'll show ya a few grade A titty bars....
Loren opening the door with bowl-in-hand is too funny!
Submitted by manfre <rickmanfre.at.comcast.net> at 2003-12-15 12:40:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared he didnt call you last night? I gave Insane your number after calling Loren to get it.
Oh christ I hope theyre alright.
Submitted by manfre <rickmanfre.at.comcast.net> at 2003-12-15 12:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah yes Friday did kick ass.
See now if you would have just listened to me when I said no when you asked. The strip clubs in AC kinda blow. You gotta go north about 15-20 minutes for a decent one where they really are topless. Wait I did say its gonna suck and not just no right? I was really drunk so I dont remember. I thought I said both.
That pumpkin pie kicked ASS!!!!!
Fuck I really wish I didnt get stoned after eating that piece cause I think I forgot about it. Got it was good though.
Fucking whole weekend kicked ass.
The Westchester crew and I have GOT to get together again soon!!!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-12-15 12:37:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass. Wish I could remember half of it. Just kidding.
Heard from Apollo/Insane today? I'm worried about 'em.