Gates of hell, MSNBC news report (613 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.55 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Trevor Johnson <trevcali.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-15 13:20:07 EST
U.S. forces proceeded into the gates of hell Thursday to deal with a tyrant that has tried to destroy the human race for nearly six thousand years. Saint Lucifer. Ordered by President Bush, U.S. Special forces headed into the dark gates of hell as they braced themselves for death. The moment they opened the gate the U.S. soilders made the Canadians go first, mainly as cannon fodder. Coalition soilders engaged in many fire fights with demons using swords. U.S. troops were far more advanced in weapons than sword yeilding hooligans. As they approached Satans firey office, the Mexicans were sent in with the canadians.
What happened next sparked tradgedy in the hearts of our children. Body parts and intestines spewed from the office as LORD OF TERROR, A.K.A. Dr. Phil,leapt out. U.S. special forces opened fire on the beast giving him severe wounds to the chest and horns. Tear gas was used as they chained the beast down. Officials say 25 Mexicans, 15 Canadians, 10 British, and 2 American soilders died fighting Satan. Lucifer is being detained in a government gaurded prison in Washington D.C.
The beast was question on Sunday on what his motives were. Satan responded, " I hate being fat, nobody liked me in heaven, so I started causing havoc.
Secretary of State, Powell suggests his trial will begin on Febuary 14th on the count of 3.5 billion murders, 6 billion rapes, and 4.5 billion children whom never recieved child support. He is also being suspected as creating Richard Simmons. More will come as news breaks out
MSNBC
User Reviews
Submitted by EmptyRobot (user info) at 2003-12-15 20:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know I have'nt been here long, but I see why no one likes you.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-12-15 18:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've read better posts inside wadded up and discarded toilet paper. Yes, your posts actually make me go and look inside used toilet paper in hopes of finding something better.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-15 18:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wahoo, death to Dr Phil
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2003-12-15 15:35:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
My satire is funnier.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This wasn't too bad. I'll throw you a bone this time.
Submitted by Kool_Kontakt (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good idea, bad delivery.
Submitted by Da_WooD (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Could have been better. Should have included the US military using playing cards To track down lead Satan supporters. Oprah could have been the queen of Spades and Dr. Phill as the Ace Clubs.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-12-15 13:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
people watch msnbc?