Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. THAT'S how you celebrate J...
  2. Obama & OIl
  3. Fireworks
  4. No Comment
  5. Thanks for punk rock and h...
  6. Word Association Bitch!
  7. Finding a Balance
  8. Berty drones on about the ...
  9. crundy (Sci-fi) Part 1 o...
  10. RIP Bozo The Clown.
more...
Most Heated
  1. Word Association Bitch! (71 heat)
  2. You lookin' good tonight g... (67 heat)
  3. I Don’t Know What It’s Lik... (65 heat)
  4. announcement: shandythedog... (49 heat)
  5. Did you MISS ME??? (43 heat)
  6. Obama & OIl (36 heat)
  7. Sometimes, life is like th... (34 heat)
  8. Death penalty (30 heat)
  9. Abused Partners - Why Do T... (30 heat)
  10. Catch Me Fuck Me (27 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1124191 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (676901 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (379437 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (318287 hits)
  5. Knockoff porn movie titles (291374 hits)
  6. Motivating the Weekend (290332 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (280883 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (242752 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (236496 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (224673 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1413681 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1402819 hits)
  3. JMG114 (1339230 hits)
  4. Razor (1295595 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1247366 hits)
  6. loki (1032296 hits)
  7. Jonukah (936368 hits)
  8. weeeeep (894615 hits)
  9. Kaos-King (843223 hits)
  10. Ubersite needs me! (842716 hits)
  11. READY FOR VEGAS!!!! (841838 hits)
  12. Tom (808675 hits)
  13. Hack (807230 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (772866 hits)
  15. oy vey (730192 hits)
  16. apollo88 (724238 hits)
  17. Sorrell (718210 hits)
  18. Tiger Belly (716015 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (666151 hits)
  20. HIDDEN101 (655028 hits)
  21. RON PAUL 2008! (654516 hits)
  22. Sock Penis™ (647387 hits)
  23. Phil Phone (611192 hits)
  24. RetIred Stabkill (607024 hits)
  25. iddqd (594079 hits)
  26. kaos-king (592646 hits)
  27. kaos-king (574945 hits)
  28. ♥ (558984 hits)
  29. O (556098 hits)
  30. Big Mike (541666 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Scariest Moment of My Life (Revise) (483 hits)

Category: None

Rating: -0.4 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by mike <mikeeegeee.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-15 17:41:46 EST


My story begins as I just finish studying for one of the subjects I have exams over this week. So I walk down to my basement to play xbox or whatever and at the bottom of the stairs I see a horrifying site:

It's the biggest f**king spider I have ever seen. It's about two inches long and an inch wide. This is like one of those poisonous ones you always hear about. It almost didn't look real, like those stupid little joke plastic spiders you buy at a joke shop. So I asked my brother if he had put it there just to mess with me. He said no, so I called my two sisters down. They thought it was fake, but I told them to go get me a shoe anyways so I could beat the hell out of it, plastic or not.

Now, I am arachnophobic and have been ever since I saw the movie "Arachnophobia" when I was like 4. So naturally, I'm freaking out over this spider thing. So I told my sisters to go get me some shoes (two to put on in case the little bastard decides to try to bite me and one to smash it with), but my stupid twin sister Anne decides mentally "Oh screw you Mike, lets just blow on it to see if it's really real, then I'll get you your shoe." JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING ANNE?!?!?!!? The black hairy little bastard scurries under the door after she blows on it and goes into my storage room! So then my sisters finally get the shoes I requested and I go into the storage room with my pants tucked into my shoes to confront that god-forsaken waste of space.

I go in and take a quick look around. I see nothing, but thats mostly becuase I didn't hit the lights. I was afraid to because if the spider crawled up onto the switch and I touched it... omg I'd never be the same. I look in the dark dreary crack behind the door (a likely space for that fiendish spider to go) and there it was, in all of its horror. It scurried towards me as soon as I moved the door away to get a clear shot. "Oh my god!!" I'm thinking, and I blindly bashed at it in fury with the old shoe. I was successful. The monster was dead after roughly 8 hits. Actually it was probably dead after the first hit, but after the eighth hit I was satisfied. Agh, now I still have to worry about what if that bastard had babies and they are making their way through the walls into my room right now... Well if they are, they know not to mess with me. 'Cause I'll kill them. I'd kill them dead. Several times. Oh Jesus I hate spiders.


Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2004-01-16 14:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST

spiders scare me too

Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-15 22:32:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Not enough Baddass Australian Cows.

Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2003-12-15 22:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I'm on the spiders side.

Submitted by Yes at 2003-12-15 20:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

wuss.

Submitted by otizzlebizzle (user info) at 2003-12-15 18:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Spiders don't kill people, people kill spiders.

I live in the South and spiders and consider spiders helpful because they eat mosquitos and other bugs. Plus -- if you believe in New Orleans voodoo -- killing a banana spider is bad luck.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-12-15 17:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

stop reposting.

its not a fantastic story, but its an ok story.




Homer: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a
bucket of fish heads once a week.

Marge: It saved out marriage!

Treehouse of Horror VII