Aging and the fat question (848 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.23 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Franger (View user info) at 2003-12-17 00:16:28 EST
Today was a rare occurence, I actually got my order from Hungry Jacks (Burger King in Australia) without them fucking it up or asking me to repeat what I want several times. This was because I ran into a guy that was in a lasertag tourment with me about 6 months ago and he served me my order. We have one of those relationships where you don't actually go to any effort to see each other and then when you do see each other you talk for about 5 mins and then make promises to catch up with each other knowing the whole time you won't see each other again until the next chance meeting. So anyway, this lead me to thinking that I hadn't been to lasertag in around 5 months and that I should head back and see whats happening, maybe interesting things have been going on.
So I use the remainder of my lunch hour to go over and check out what was going on hoping that despite the fact it is school holidays that whoever is currently on shift will have time to talk to me. I arrive and am surprised to find that the owner remembers my name upon the moment she sees, very unusual considering I really only ever talked to her abotu 4 or 5 times before. It took me half the afternoon to remember her name is Sam. Anyway so we chatted about a bit, found out what had been happening with each other lately, you konw the usual thing you do when you haven't seen someone for a few months, even if they are someone you don't know that well.
Something was wrong though, I remember that the first time I came here about 7 months ago it was an employee on duty and I'd made a joke about there being almost no chicks that played lasertag due to its geekiness, especially not hot ones. He'd then informed me about Sam who was the sort of girl you drool over in the club, yes some might call her a skank but the fact is most guys do drool over the hot chick who dances slutty in the club and when she comes up to them and says she wants to go home with them they accept, and you people are not exceptional so don't kid yourselves about your morals.
I met Sam the following week at some training that was taking place to try to form a team for the national league which they'd invited me to sign up for. Sam was the co-owner with her sister Michelle, and while Michelle was about asugly as I'd expect, Sam was truly a beautiful specimen. It was funny how the other guys seemed almost afraid to talk to her in some ways but thats never phased me, besides, I had no interest in her anyway, I was intending to leave this town in a couple of weeks when that job that I never got was supposed to start. So we talked occaisonally, nothing remarkable.
This time around though it was wrong. One of her teeth had seemed to become chipped at some point over the last 5 months, she'd developed massive bags under her eyes so that she looked much like I do after I haven't slept for 3 days while getting wasted and half stoned each night. I thought to myself "How on earth did someone that just a few months ago I considered gorgeous become the grotesk being before me now." Normally I'm quite engaging when I talk and I lean forward with interest and start new topic, now I wanted nothing more than to lean back and leave as soon as I could under the excuse of the fact that my lunch hour would soon be over.
I did however stay and talk for half an hour thinking it would be rude, besides I needed to find out if there was anything new happening like tournaments coming up, a quick cash prize for a couple of hours of mucking around is nothing to laugh at. While talking to her I noticed one last thing that perhaps could explain the poor condition of her looks other than the teeh, I noticed a small belly sticking out. I tried to catch a glimpse when I could trying to determine if she had just gained a bit of weight or if she was what she truly appeared to be, pregnant, although it seemed strange she wouldn't mention it. I couldn't very well ask her because I didn't want to offend her if she was just getting fat, afterall I wanted to return to the establishment. In the end I never said a word about it, I just left and said I'd be back sometime.
There needs to be a way to ask women if they are just fat or pregnant without offending them, we mere men can't understand your hostility of a simple question about the truth, we need to know how to ask you these things. Stupid bitches.
User Reviews
Submitted by QueenBea (user info) at 2003-12-17 04:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Approach the question in a comical manner, maybe say something like "getting kinda thick I see? I hear that's the rage these day's after the noticing of J-lo's ass"....lol..Or you could just continue to wonder about it...
Queen
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2003-12-17 04:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you fucking twat
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2003-12-17 04:19:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont know anything about the question you asked, but the part I just cant get over is that...
The girl is hot. Although you have only talked 4-5 times, you gather that she is droolable.
You see her again and she has a chipped tooth and bags under her eyes and you think that made her grotesque? For someone who plays laser tag, you sure do set high standards.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2003-12-17 02:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ask em if they have any kids.
if they're not pregnant, they'll just say no.
If so, they'll say "yeah, and one on the way" or whatever.
Asking a girl if she's pregnant when she's not will ALWAYS offend her.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2003-12-17 02:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me relay a conversation to you as a means of explanation...
The Scene: A bar in Washington, DC, where a quite pregnant bartender is working along with a non-pregnant guy. Josie (me) and Chris are there for dinner and drinks.
Chris (whispering to Josie): She's definitely pregnant, right?
Josie: <apprehensive pause> Yes...
Chris: So it would be ok to say something, right?
Josie: Just don't go there.
Chris: But she's...
Josie: I know. Just keep it in your mind, ok?
Submitted by Miss_Sim (user info) at 2003-12-17 01:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-17 01:05:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF? Hit whore? I only post like once a week, and this is a real incident that happend to me like just a couple of hours ago and something I really did think about while at lunch. How do you ask a chick if she's pregnant without risking offending her?
Why do you need to ask at all? One would assume that she would tell you if she were pregnant, well I would.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-17 01:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"How do you ask a chick if she's pregnant without risking offending her?"
I think the point which you are failing to address is that since you are neither family or her lover, then it is none of your business whether or not she is pregnant?
Moreover, assuming you ask the question and she isn't pregnant, she will automatically infer that you believe her to be overweight and will think you a callous, insensitive jerk.
Submitted by Persecuted (user info) at 2003-12-17 01:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
There is a way.
You just ask: "Have you gained weight?"
Then they'll either look at you funny and say something to the effect of: "Yeah. A little."
or: "No. I'm pregnant."
The circle of life continues.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-17 01:05:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF? Hit whore? I only post like once a week, and this is a real incident that happend to me like just a couple of hours ago and something I really did think about while at lunch. How do you ask a chick if she's pregnant without risking offending her?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-12-17 00:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're an idiot.
Submitted by Miss_Sim (user info) at 2003-12-17 00:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You see, there are some crybabies out there -- religious types mostly
-- who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to
turn off your set now. C'mon, I dare you. Bock-bock-bock-bock-bock!
Chicken!
-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror III
Submitted by Korik (user info) at 2003-12-17 00:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
would you like an apple pie with that?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2003-12-17 00:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On the Mosted Heated List by tommorrow? Methinks, yes.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-17 00:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have to be one of the finest hit whores on this site.