How Not to Hunt Gophers (1993 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialLabels: Childhood
Rating: 1.29 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jackhole.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2003-12-18 08:37:36 EST
I just saw this post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/4070
I don't know if gophers are related to, or the same as, prairie dogs, but I have a related experience I'd like to share, and it's a bit too long to just post as a reply:
When I was a kid, my brother and I were hired to demolish an old farmhouse on a farm. When we got out there, another guy was out with his varmint rifle, drilling gophers. His son was out there, and wanting to help, he decided to try to hunt some gophers with his new boomerang.
The Road Warrior had just come out in the US, and this kid thought it was so cool, that he superglued razor blades to his boomerang in the hopes of bringing down a varmint of his own.
My brother and I just kind of laughed at him, and told him that hitting anything with a boomerang was damn near impossible. But the kid wouldn't listen to us, and pitched the boomer at this gopher maybe 50 feet away. CRACK! Right in the fucking head! The gopher fell over and we ran up, screaming, "Oh my God! Did you see that fucking shot? That was fucking perfect!"
It was the most hideous thing I ever saw. The gopher was just lying there, twitching and bleeding out. The boomerang had stuck into its forehead. We thought the kid would be excited about bringing one down, but he got all upset and started crying and vomiting. His Dad ran over and asked what the problem was, but when he saw the bloody, twitching gopher lying on the ground, he started laughing at his kid, shouting, "Hahaha! That's what you get! Now field dress that varmint!"
The kid was horrified. "What! I have to eat it?"
The Dad yelled at him, "We don't hunt for fun in this family! We eat what we kill! Hunting is not a sport. You do what I tell you, boy!"
Luckily, he didn't offer any gopher meat to my brother or me. That's just nasty.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-16 16:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jordanna (user info) at 2003-12-21 07:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+1 for an alright story.
-1 for making me chuck my lunch. Literally.
-2 And then minus to for such letting the kid chuck his rang and awful cruelty to animals.
oh forget it. you're probably not even around anymore much less likely to see this.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-09 12:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-11-18 15:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-07-20 13:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I find it sublimely ironic that one of my rare 100% true stories has been decried as shenanigans.
Submitted by borad (user info) at 2004-02-07 02:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ditto on the unlikeliness of this -- boomerangs and hunting sticks are quite different things. You can read more on the distinction at http://www.boomerang.org.au/articles/article-what-is-a-boomerang.html
(Though, to contradict myself, I have brought down a large crane/heron with a plastic triblader weighing about 40 grams. I didn't see it, and it didn't see me or my boomerang, till too late... Broke a wing, and it ultimately died of shock.)
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-23 11:34:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good ending.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2004-01-23 11:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Crap.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-23 11:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
uggy
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2003-12-21 07:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is awesome, other than making his son not be retarted making him clean and eat the gopher is the best thing he could do for the ankle biter.
Submitted by jordanna (user info) at 2003-12-21 07:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+1 for an alright story.
-1 for making me chuck my lunch. Literally.
-2 And then minus to for such letting the kid chuck his rang and awful cruelty to animals.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-18 11:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought it appropriate.
Submitted by paco (user info) at 2003-12-18 10:34:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how this is listed under "Business and Financial".
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-12-18 10:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Awww... thats cute.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-12-18 09:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/4070#306931
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-18 09:41:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yogi, I don't know why, but when someone spells it "fooking", it cracks me up.
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-18 09:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hunting boomerangs are not designed to come back. They are basically a big fooking stick.
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-12-18 09:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hunting kangaroos, sure. Seriously, have you tried to get a boomerang throw really close to the ground? It's almost impossible.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2003-12-18 08:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Umm, PE? You do know that boomerangs were invented to hunt, right?
And I agree, putting blades on one is not smart, if you intend on ever catching one.
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-12-18 08:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice story, but I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this one. I've thrown boomerangs before, and they don't go that low to the ground. And also, is it just me, or is taping razor blades to a BOOMERANG not a smart thing to do?