Ubertime. Blue tinges. Hyperspeed clock and Reality flicker. - inspired by gascs (393 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drky <drky.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-18 12:05:17 EST
It was cold when Ii awoke this morning, colder than usual. I mean my house hasn't got the best heating anyway and its a pretty old house but even so this seemed excessive. I could almost see my breath. So anyway, my flatmate had just returned from his girlfriends where he stayed last night and I forced myself out of bed as he banged loudly on my door to wake me up.
"The traffics a bitch and its minus four outside according to my car!", he informed me.
Now i'm feeling unusually awake for this time in the morning, which signifies to me that i may be in for a slightly odd day. [To expand on this generally if i'm awake-awake in the morning itmeans i'm brighter and breezier and cheerier than normal, which in turn generally means i'm going to talk and be nice to more random people which may lead to some non-standard day events.]
I get dressed for work and do my standard walk to work wrapped up like an inuit who's just left the sauna igloo.
I reach work, on time for a change, and spend the first hour and half working away trying to get as much done as possible so that my productivity drop wont be noticed when i spend the rest of the day on Uber...
I open Internet Explorer. Usual stuff, check mail, anything good on the local music forum? No.
Cursor in Address bar. www.ubersite.com
I hit enter...
This is when it happens.
The world seems to flicker, a slight blue tinge is given to everything around me(that sort of standard IE weblink colour). I can see extra things now.
That tinge, its kind of like an aura. I look around slightly bewildered.
This cause me to notice my boss striding purposefully towards me, his own personal blue tinge intact. Hmmm, he seems to be walking slightly slower than normal?
Alt+F4, bye-bye uber...
"Morning." My boss is kind of just like me except without the dope addled brain and about thirty years older. He's cool ... hang on he's lost his blue tinge?
"G'day Lark", I reply, slightly confused. My boss strides straight past me to his desk.
Hmmmm, i think to myself again. So what's with the bluey-ness?
Safety buffer of 3 seconds passes.
Ctrl+Esc, p, i, i, i, Enter, www.ubersite.com , Enter...
WOW, hang on, big reality flicker that time. WTF happened there. Blue tinge's galore. I glance around. Everything seems to be moving slower than normal. I keep glancing, hang on again ... look at the clock! Its like its moving double time or something.
AHA!
Thats when it hits me! UberTime! I'm in UberTime. Look at me go! Yeah, look here i am.
Ooh lets check this. I carefully position my mouse over the X in the top right.
I look at the clock?
Yup, still keeping double time, blue tinge blurring out behind it like the glare from a semi-distant lamppost whilst drunk.
CLICK.
Clock slows down. Normal time.
Ctrl+Esc, p, i, i, i, Enter, www.ubersite.com , Enter...
Blue tinges. Hyperspeed clock and Reality flicker.
WOO HOO. GO BEARS GO! I'm gonna do me in the Pooper!
----------------
So folks now you can all join me. You wonder why you spend so much time on uber. Well you've all heard of bullet-time. We have UberTime.
Our own special timezone in which reality slows down and the clock speeds up...
[Shit, i'm now working late to post this. Better go or they're gonnawonder what i'm still doing here.]
User Reviews
Submitted by drky (user info) at 2003-12-18 14:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it was in reference to your response to my uberconfusion post...
you said it was like an 'Uber-time machine' i believe...
and then my head went off on one about comparing uber-time to bullet-time
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2003-12-18 13:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give this a +2 because my name's in the title, but I'm not sure what I could have done to be your inspiration.
Carry on.