The good and bad habits of hairdressers (1979 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.8 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Franger (View user info) at 2003-12-18 19:51:07 EST
Hairdressers are always a funny group of people with little characteristics that only I ever seem to notice, or maybe its just only me that cares enough to make note of it. And yes I go to haridressers because there are not fucking barbers around here anymore, they all closed down. The first and most obvious of these habits is that it always seems that their hair is in some fucking retarded style. I've never walked into a hairdressers where the girls have normal hair, its always coloured some fucking stupid colour that reminds me of mold or blood or something else completely unnatural that destroy what could otherwise be a stunning woman, also they always have it done in some weird fashion such as having it pointing in all directions, a mohawk or, in one particular case I saw, a mullet.
This however is the least important of all the things I've noticed upon my trips to shave my head to their yelps of "But you have such wonderful curls, how could you cut them off?" easy, because I don't want to look like a fag now get the fucking clippers out and get to work. One thing I always noticed when I was younger was that they seem to be truly ignorant of their customers. It is a sign of a truly good hairdresser that they can make smalltalk the entire time with even the most stubbornly quiet customer to keep them entertained, people do return to these sorts of people. But the truth is that they don't really hear anything you say, they have no idea what is happening, they just want to do your hair and get your out of there regardless of what you want and uncaring about you in anyway. I am a very ticklish person, especially when I was a child, and always when I was young my haircuts despite their simplicity would take often close to an hour, this was because everytime they tried to cut around my neck I'd only last about 3 seconds before I'd begin giggling uncontrollably and they'd have to stop and wait for a couple of minutes while I calmed down and then they did another 3 seconds of work. Not only this but they became pissed off that a small child could not control his laughter, one hairdresser even told my mother to take me away because she got sick of me cringing my neck to avoid the dreaded tickling and refused to finish the job resulting in my mother having to try to clean up my hair on that occasion.
To lend support to the claim that they are ignorant is the bad habit they have that they never seem to listen to what their customer says they want. I'm assuming this is whats wrong as I can't believe that the person who can carefully cut around my ears has perception that bad. During winter I often tell them to cut my hair a little longer so that it will be double a gauge 4, so rather than being about 5mm long it will be 10mm long. So they set to work snipping away and then after a while they finish up and ask me if its alright, its at this point that I often stare at them in disbelief as my hair is around an inch long, over double what I said I wanted my hair to be and in fact they have only taken about 5mm off the length of my hair. At this point I say I want it half the length it is, they then snip away and I notice that she only take about 1/4 of the length off, at this point I speak through gritted teeth and tell them to halve the length of my hair again and watch as she shave off about 1 or 2mm of my hair. I usually at this point give up and tell them its fine and leave. Fucking ignorant bitches.
However the true thing I noticed that no one else ever seem to notice I have named the hairdresser phenomenon. Actually thats what I used to call it, but not anymore. You see for many years there has always been one thing I liked about getting my hair cut, and that was the face full of breasts I'd usually get. I can not recall a single haircut from since the age of 12 where the hairdresser has not pressed her chest into my head everywhere including my face. Perhaps this is what caused me to become the pervert and titman that I am today, who knows. However it was only a few months that I first mentioned this to anyone as a joke about how its fun getting your hair cut. My friend stared at me and replied with "What the hell are you talking about?" I tried to explain it to him but obviously he'd just never noticed before, maybe cause hes more oa legman than titman or something I thought. So I then began querying my other friends, none of them seemed to know what I was talking about, in fact some of them came back weeks later and commented on how that didn't happen at all, I seemed to be the only one. So now I ask you uber, am I the only one that this happens to?
User Reviews
Submitted by Lia <minky.at.glasse.fslife.co.uk> at 2004-06-29 10:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I completely agree that hairdressers are stupid. They are either middle aged slappers, twenty-something year old thickos or homosexual men (with this type the age range varies)
For some reason they are completely incompetent and like you said they take no notice of what the customer actually wants. Thick bitches! I simply can't stress that enough
Overall I applaud your observations on this utterly dim group of people!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-01-13 23:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you couldn't write it better why the fuck did you post it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-01-13 23:19:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, BigMike already took my idea away, but I think it bears repeating:
"because I don't want to look like a fag now get the fucking clippers out and get to work"
You already LOOK like a fag because you actually get your hair done by *shudder* hairdressers. I don't care if you are a fag or not, but trust me, you certainly aren't any manlier if you go to a hairdresser to shave your head.
Now, all that's left for you to do is to start writing some good material. Good luck, and Godspeed.
Your king has spoken.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-12-19 03:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I stopped when I got here:
"easy, because I don't want to look like a fag now get the fucking clippers out and get to work."
Main Entry: 2fag
Function: noun
Date: 1780
1 chiefly British : TOIL, DRUDGERY
2 a : an English public-school boy who acts as servant to an older schoolmate
I can see why you wouldn't want to look like a "fag"
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-12-18 20:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't think it was that bad. I've noticed much of that in the past. So,here's some things I keep in mind about hairdressers, whether you care or not.
1. If you walk into a hairdressing establishment and do not like the hairstyle of at least half the employees, turn the fuck around and find yourself another place.
2. They want repeat business, and if you happen to like your hairstyle, you might come back sooner if they cut it shorter. Also, no matter how brilliant they are, they cannot uncut your hair if they get it too short. So, cutting less than they should is commonplace.
3. You get what you pay for. If you don't, sue.
Submitted by Korik (user info) at 2003-12-18 19:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
English a second language to you? Just curious.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-12-18 19:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
clearly
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-12-18 19:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I couldn't fucking figure out how to write this better.