Lord of my Ring (1307 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.61 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (View user info) at 2003-12-19 09:42:47 EST
This is not my own work, I just got sent this and thought some of you would enjoy it. Not my work
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Things to do while watching LOTR:
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says, "the Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep," Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man!Charlotte's really let herself go!"
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Did I mention this is not my work
User Reviews
Submitted by fan of yours <Good work> at 2003-12-23 00:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really funny.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-12-20 04:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There was a big thing here in Minneapolis. One of the theatres had a constume contest and everything. The funny part was, the guy who won didn't even dress up on purpose. He was in some band up from Louisiana and got given a ticket and went at the last minute. He was dressed as your typical 'look at me, I'm terribly unique' Cure/Manson wannabe and ended up winning for being 'Grima Wormtongue.' He was quoted as saying 'this is how I normally[I think he's stretching the definition of the word 'normally' myself]dress. You people are all insane.'
To the person who referred to the books as 'shitty'...not everything can be 'Teen People' you know. Sorry.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-12-19 19:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How about the orc captain in Return of the King looking like sloth from the Goonies. I almost yelled "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YOOOOOOOOOOU GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS" but decided that on opening day I might be killed.
Submitted by Mindheavy (user info) at 2003-12-19 14:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First Time I have seen this.
Laughed my Ass off!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-12-19 13:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
Those were all pretty damn funny.
Submitted by Muiro (user info) at 2003-12-19 11:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should try handing out spoonfulls of mashed potatos to everyone coming into the theatre. I remember doing that when the second one came out and I know I said something pretty cool when I handed the spoons but I can't remember what it was.
You get a +2 for standing up to say that LOTR is really shitty. I just hope you feel the same way about the shitty books too.
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:52:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I would have laughed if they dressed up as ringwraiths (sp?) for the wedding.
Husband: "Why thats a lovely wedding dress of death you have there"
Wife: "Hey, your winged beast is eating the guests"
Husband: "OH MY GOD...Its ok, that's your mom he's chomping on"
Now that's a day you'd remember forever...forever...forever...forever
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if they did the hairy feet thing, but it was on the news and they were definitely dressed like hobbits. I wonder if they went with the LOTR jewelry. Be afraid.
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WHAT!!! dressed up as Dildo fucking Baggins getting married, no way. Tell me they don't have the hairy feet, please Sauron not the hairy feet.
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:19:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I once played a drinking game with Lord of the Rings where we had to drink everytime someone laughed, screamed or said "Horse." Of course, that was a bad idea because:
1. We were already extremely drunk. Hence the impossibility of the game.
2. We were on a moving bus.
3. 15 minutes in, we were all trying not to throw up. The scene with the little hobbit festival was the fucking worst.
-J
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure you would be killed. People take this very seriously. Have you seen the footage of those people dressed up like hobbits getting married. Now there's a dream that I myself did not have when I was little. Oh daddy do you think one day I'll meet a boy and we can get married dressed up like fucking hobbits?
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am seriously considering going again tonight to try a few of those bad boys out. I wonder could I break the record for most people saying "shut the fuck up" in one room.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe Chuckle worthy. I can't wait to see it this weekend!
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Armed with these suggestions, I just might be able to bear to sit through this movie.
(Don't kill me!)
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by jinx (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good showing
"that's what I'm tolkien about"
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2003-12-19 10:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I saw it last night and this film is orgasmic, loki you will not be disappointed after this. Oh sorry about that, if I'd known it was in the paper I wouldn't have posted it but being Irish we get things a little later than the rest of the world.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Has anyone seen this yet? If so fuck you I don't want to hear about it until after tomorrow night. I'm stoked about Shilob. Soo depressed that they ended the second movie before they got to her. I wonder if Darth Vader will be there. Someone is always dressed up as Darth for these things.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
thank you for bringing this...
"12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre."
...to my attention
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."
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Thats great.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame.
Submitted by death_charges (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I've seen that before. I shall hold my counsel because of the profuseness of your denial of plagerism!
Go! But keep what honour you may and do not run
-- Aragorn, King of Gondor
A line that was sorely missed from the film!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-12-19 09:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately this was in the paper. Last night we were watching the first movie and SeaDog thought the Mr Anderson thing was funny AGAIN AND AGAIN.