The Grocery Store (537 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.8 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Xchumpstylex.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-19 19:52:06 EST
Here is a list of people at the grocery store that you should try to avoid(or harm) if you
come across them.
1.) The "robed shopper"- This is the guy you see in the store with a robe, a beater, boxers, and
slippers on. It will always be a guy. He usually moves at medium speed until he gets to the alcohol aisle, then he stops. He will generaly smell like your underarm after a long day of manual labor, and look just as horrific. The only products you will see in his cart are smokes, booze, porno, or toilet paper. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
2.) The "non-stop shopper"- This is the person that you happen upon in aisle 1, 2, 3, 4 ect. This
shopper will sometimes use two carts and will purchase every item on the shelf. The worst part
about this shopper is that they grab the last everything that you need. More than one of these
shoppers in a store at a time could cause one to have to shop at another store as they will
have everything on the shelf in their cart.
3.) The "where am I shopper"- This shopper is one of the worst. They never have a list, they move
slow, and they are always right in front of you. Ironicly you are always in their way because
they need to look at every item on the shelf to see if they need it. They move slower than any
other shopper and there are always ten or more in a store/aisle at a time. Twenty percent of
shoppers fall into this category, and we all do it at least once in out lives. Items in this
shoppers cart range anywhere from condoms to baby food.
4.) The "loud shopper"- This shopper usually has kids with them and is more often than not a
woman. Their kids run around making life for everyone in a three-aisle radius a living hell.
Sometimes the shopper themself is loud. This is generaly because they think they own the store and are the most important person in there. They confront everyone and get away with it. This person
only has the bear essentials in the cart because thats all they can afford.
5.) The "elderly shopper"- This shopper is much like the "where am I shopper" but don't be fooled.
This shopper is the slowest of all. They often park their cart in the middle of the aisle and
sometimes forget that they had it there. These shoppers must buy everything on the top shelf and
you must get it down for them. The items in this shoppers cart are only items that old people would
know about so Im not going to list them.
Now heres for the employees at the store you should avoid.
1.) The "mindless stock clerk"- This is the stock clerk who stocks like a robot. Back, forth, back
forth. They would'nt notice if you took their skid of supplies and replaced it with a pile of
manure and a pitchfork. They will continue to work until they are told to quit. Don't bother
asking them where something is or the price of a product for they will not know.
2.) The "overly-helpful employee"- This is the employee who would scale ten-housand mountains
just to make sure you save a penny on your can of Spam. They talk until you go deaf or until
you say "thank you, I've got it now". This employee is always happy. Generaly this employee
is a blonde female anywhere from the ages of 30-45. Dangerous if startled.
3.) The "ghetto-fab cashier"- We all have encountered this one. Its always a female. Always.
They wear too much make-up, talk loud(never to you, they never speak to customers), and cant do
their job correct to save their own life. "Price Check" is their favorite saying. Always a high
school student who will drop out their senior year. They wear the most expensive clothes
minimum wage will buy and wont lift a finger to help anyone. 5 to 5 1/2 feet tall they, think
they are the most wonderful thing on earth and sleep with every guy to prove it.
User Reviews
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-12-20 01:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's christmas.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-12-20 00:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Call me Pavlov's dog.
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-12-19 23:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yawn.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2003-12-19 22:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1: There's one of old men in every family. He's actually cool if you don't
mess with him. They always have cool stories if you listen. They always
have stashes of porn.
2: WTF? If you have the money, FUCK EVERYONE. There's no rules.
3: Not everyone that goes shopping is on speed. Not everyone knows every
inch of the fucking store like you do.
4: This person is loud so pussies like you wont mess with them. If you're
real quiet and shy, people step on you. If you're loud and obnoxiuos people
stay out of you way and you can grab the last Tickle My Nuts Elmo.
5: So, we should kill all old people? I actually like this one.
1: If you tap him on the shoulder and make him get what you want, he'll do
it. Muth like the #4 person, if you're loud and rude, people do what you
want for fear of confrentation.
2: There's no pleasing you, is there. One is too boring, one is too happy
to help. How about thos nasty horny employees that want to fuck you in half?
3: It's called style. THey all can't dress like you, look like you and talk
like you because it would be fucking borinig. Price check? How else to get
the price when the gun don't register it? Leave the register and go check?
You are an asshole.
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2003-12-19 20:19:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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