cool ways to kill yourself (22691 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.52 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sir matthew holloway <the_holloway.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-23 14:54:38 EST
SUPER-COOL WAYS TO COMMIT SUICIDE
by the_holloway
NOTE: YOU SHOULD NOT END YOUR LIFE BY ANY MEANS. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SOMEONE, BUT THAT SOMEONE IS NOT ME. BUT ALL IN ALL IT IS A BAD IDEA TO COMMIT SUICIDE, ESPECIALLY BY USING MY METHODS.
tired of life? sick of everyone making fun of you? here are some creative ways to exit this miserable world.
REJECTION
go and ask the most beautiful girl you can find if she would go on a date with you. if she says yes, lucky you!! reason to live for another week or so. if not, as soon as she turns her back, end your life right there! it'll be soooo cool, and think of the guilt she will hold for many a day! maybe it will make popular people think about turning down someone because they are ugly or broke. (yes, giving even zecks a chance in life!)
MASS KILLING SPREE
ever wish you could kill a large group of people that look down on you? now you can! invite everyone you hate to a party, and make sure to have free beer, and lots of it. if you dont have that kind of money, steal it. say you want everyone in a big circle before you tap the keg, and just shoot the hell out of them. what a suprise! after everyone you hate is lifeless, and make sure they are! you dont want any survivors because the media will take pity on them... you can drink a few and then just end your life as well. what a pretty site that will be!
CHANGE THE PRESIDENCY
for example, if george bush is elected, and you are a democrat, get up some of your best democrat buddies, and leave a note that says:
bush is dumb. we want gore. he invented the internet. this country sucks. didnt have enough money to go to canada. therefore, in hopes that bush resigns for the betterment of the country, we kill ourselves.
thats awesome! bush will feel so bad, he will probably kill himself too! man i dream of the day.
GET THAT COWORKER FIRED
you all know who im talking about. that one fag at work who makes it miserable to do your job. youve talked to your boss before. wont do a damn thing. so are you gonna sit back and take it? HELL NO youre not. you tell your boss, either you ditch this guy, or im killing myself. that will do one of two things.
A) he will get a good chuckle, until you pull out your gun and splatter the wall with your face
or
B) he will take your advice thinking you are a crazy motherfucker, and ditch the guy right then
even if he does B, you should still kill yourself because it would be fun.
i cant think of anymore and its time for me to go to work.
User Reviews
Submitted by iIIinformed (user info) at 2004-09-13 08:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dis woz jst on recnetly reveiwed whtehfck dude leave old posts wehre tehy r lol
Submitted by ARH (user info) at 2004-09-13 08:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
lol this is the shit made me smile i smigg now you suck but some of your methods are kick ass
Submitted by ANdrey <dogfased.at.mail2000.ru> at 2004-08-28 07:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just a shit, I have nothing more to say. Who are those dumbasses who gave +2 to this article?
Submitted by DreddedFury <Madanarchist666.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-05-17 05:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why somany weak ranks people i gone through a shit stage in my life and its good to read some advice thats isnt saying, "its not worth it, people love you" Fuck that! this guy is mint, (he should add a few more though) take my +2, add a few 000's on it and you'll be about there.
well done
dreddedFury (Matthew)
Submitted by YourDadGuido (user info) at 2004-05-05 13:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Copying and pasting Maddox's original rant would have been more entertaining than this shit.
Though, good try!
Thumbs up.
Submitted by in the shadows at 2004-05-05 13:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nothing worth reading, all methods listed are crap, best way is with helium gas it kills and if some fucker interupts you there is no damage
Submitted by Dead2TheWorld <FreakshowJuggalette89.at.yahoo.co> at 2004-05-04 14:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate this i want to die not live and get laid you fucking dyke loser!!! I hope you live!!! Stay alive you little PUSSY!!! How the hell am i suppose to die with these methodes!!! I'm just going to do it the old fashion way and shoot my self in the head...Now im dead.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-26 10:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There are lots, and lots, other other ideas.
Submitted by ghjghjghjgh <UmmIdontno> at 2004-04-25 02:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not depressed, I JUST FUCKING HATE MY UNCLE AND PUSSY, ALL A BUch of endlessssssssssss shit.
Submitted by ghjghjghjgh <UmmIdontno> at 2004-04-25 02:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Humans dont think, niether do I
Submitted by ghjghjghjgh <UmmIdontno> at 2004-04-25 02:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate my self
Submitted by SonofLiberty (user info) at 2004-03-08 20:05:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you're lucky i gave you a one
and it's only because it's a good idea
but you could have done much more
Submitted by Nicky <nicky_merchant.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-02-27 05:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOLOLOLOL GO DEATH I LOVE IT U ROCK!!! DEATH ALL DA WAY!!! WHOOOO
Submitted by Code at 2004-02-25 04:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well I think it was pretty innovative and ontop of it I was laughing my ass off the whole time, nice job but the only problem is I think it should have been a bit longer.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2004-02-19 19:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the disclaimer.
Submitted by InjunEar (user info) at 2004-02-19 19:28:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Reading this is suicide!
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2004-02-19 19:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ASR (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:00:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and can we say rip off from umm.. ThePageInTheUniverse? Maddox or whatever, its been done.
i hate you
Submitted by erikah <ilovestds.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-02-02 16:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ummmm.... well thishas been done before, your is a sad interpretation of what has already been done. i suggest that you seal off all opening in your body. wait a whail and explode. sound familiar yeah thats cause it on tha site that you stole this shit form ass hole.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-27 16:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pat contreras <chilewilly.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-22 18:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you moitherfucker!! im takin u to court! my son died cos of u bastards! i cant believe u! where can i get sex now!
Submitted by jonny <jonny001.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-22 18:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hi im a sad lonely boy, i like to lick mens balls, but i get picked on, im goin to kill myself using 1 of your methods or maybe my own. i tohught i wud shuv sumthing up my ass n see if i can not shit for ages n see if that kills me, i dunno.anyways thanks for your help, its a shame im killin myself so younge, ahh well i had a gd 7 years.
Submitted by mason <mason6666.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-22 18:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woo!! thanks alot! when you read this ill be dead! but thanks! im doing the 1 where u ask the girl out! cant w8! dieing rules!! woo!!! xxxxx
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-01-16 09:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for putting an interesting image in my head: A democrat at the reflecting pool that hates Bush so much he sets himself on fire in front of the Capitol. Now THAT would get my vote bigtime.
Submitted by spider <spider_web.at.chrislangton.info> at 2004-01-16 08:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-15 17:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
love the first idea
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-01-09 21:14:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-01-06 06:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by the_holloway (user info) at 2003-12-23 16:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha appreciated
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-12-23 16:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting shit, but it was actually pretty funny. Kudos young Holloway, kudos I say.
Submitted by the_holloway (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet thanks.
i know my posts arent the best but hey maybe theyll make someone laugh or something. who knows. who cares.
Submitted by Tiffany M. <tiffers_024.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-23 15:50:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL MATT! I LOVE THIS ONE! IT'S THE FUNNIEST OF THE 3! Great job Holloway!!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heat is the most reviews in a short amount of time (I believe in under 24 hours)
ASR is a cocksmoking dumbass. He can't write a decent post, so he brings everybody else down with him. Wow, what a douchebag. Ignore him.
Your king has spoken.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not so bad...I suppose if I were to ever kill myself I'd want to go out in a way people would remember. Maybe I could scar someone for life.
Phoenix
Submitted by the_holloway (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and while everyones looking at this, if someone would rank and tell me what the hell this "heat" thing is thatd be cool.
Submitted by the_holloway (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:07:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ASR go fuck yourself you dumb bastard. i wrote this page in hopes people like you would consider my ideas and use them. i hope you die you stupid piece of shit.
Submitted by ASR (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Umm.. yeah but since he came up with these ideas, I'm assuming he's thought about it... which I don't blame him.
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Holloway.
Submitted by the_holloway (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually if you read his, it just says you SHOULD commit suicide, now HOW you should commit suicide. fucking tool.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That ASR kid's doing the "You're still alive -2" thing a lot. Wanky one-comment wank wank.
Submitted by ASR (user info) at 2003-12-23 15:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and can we say rip off from umm.. ThePageInTheUniverse? Maddox or whatever, its been done.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2003-12-23 14:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not actually that bad.
Submitted by ASR (user info) at 2003-12-23 14:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm glad you're thinking about it. Well I wish you success. Finally we agree on something, the hollogay should die. -2 tho because you're still alive. When you write your suicide not I'll definitely give that a +2.