Why I love the military (801 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <yogimus.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-12-24 03:13:23 EST
I work for Uncle Sam. I am spending Christmas away from my family. No big deal, not the first time, not the last. I can live with it. The problem is that this will be the first Christmas away from home for most of the airmen that I am working with. I figured we could do something nice for them, and organized a party.
Little did I know the beurocratic hell I was to enter.
Plan A: Use the gym, set up some tables, tree in the middle, free food. Sounds good right? Wrong.
I can't put tables in the gym, because they scratch the floors. I brought up the fact that currently the gym is being used to STORE the tables. That made me real popular real quick. They changed their story saying we can't serve FOOD in the gym. But we get free food when we donate blood in the gym... Well, the gym is scheduled for maintenance. On christmas? Fine, Fuck you AND your gym, I will have a dorm party instead.
Plan B: Dorm party.
I placed a sign up sheet in the dorms. ALL the troops supported the party. I had 100% approval from the troopies. I was shot down again. Why? Because I can not conduct a religious celebration in the dorms, where the troops LIVE. I might offend someone. But it's NOT religious. It's HOLIDAY. It can be construed as religious, and we don't want to impose. I showed them the signup sheet. Nope, can't. The reg said I can't so I can't. Common sense will NOT be tolerated.
Plan C: Dry hump your reg-s, I will make this work.
Requested the auditorium on base to have a "Holiday Safety Briefing", with an open bar and free food. The uniform of the day is civvies, with captains and above wearing an all green ensemble. (elf) The Colonel will be expected to show between 1700-1730, wearing red camouflage. (santa) There will be a donation drive held for items, which will be redistributed through out the night by the individual wearing red camouflage. Party on.
happy Non-denominational holidays for all you guys out there.
User Reviews
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-07 17:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20833
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-01-01 15:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't mean it, Yogimus. Some of my best friends are Security Forces.
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2004-01-01 15:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't knock security forces. Not OUR fault we get all the idiots.
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2003-12-28 02:28:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"...Good is dumb."
Dark Helmet, "Spaceballs"
Good job, man. The guys need something like that when away from their people for the holidays.
As for Cough, who apparently peaked at the mosquito wing stage, wow! I bet you killed or saw killed many, many people, especially being in the Air Force. What were you? Load master, Finance, or, I know, Security Forces?! Yeah, you probably came in open-general because you weren't smart enough to get a secured position and you bitched and moaned about it until your separation day. Just scoot out of here. And get me some fries with that on your way out...
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-27 12:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Party was a success, a few hundred people cycled in and out throughout the day. We had "To Go" boxes made up for the guys going to and from work. It was nice.
Submitted by Sunny (user info) at 2003-12-26 14:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, Yogimus, you've probably answered this question before, but where are you stationed?
And don't let cough get to you. He's a dick, and you probably aren't going to change his mind. Just be thankful his kind of thought process is in the minority. Dicks don't really care what they're bitching about, as long as it causes a ruckus whereever they go. If you hadn't posted "I love the military" (however ironic that may have been :-p) he would've been off sowing the seeds of dissent in other posts.
A troll is a troll is a troll.
Merry Christmas and enjoy Her Majesty's Cookies
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-26 13:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-25 02:56:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
i was in the military, air force.
Got free and never looked back.
the military is a piece of shit.
does NOTHING good- only causes pain and
dark energy in the world...go
ahead BE PROUD OF THAT!
you piece of shit in a green uniform.
youre probably a SrA thinking you know it all.
fuck you! get out there and kill someone
and see how you feel about that after your
little dorm party. fuck you and your stripes
This all translates into, "Oh boo hoo, I never made it past A1C because I was a piece if shit, but I'm going to blame eveyone else for it."
Fuck you cough. You don't know shit. What did you do that involved you actually killing someone? Where did you get deployed to? How many real world situations did you deal with?
Submitted by natedawg (user info) at 2003-12-26 09:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck you cough
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-25 03:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cough, nobody made you join. It must be very hard for you to be such a victim. You DO realize that you do NOT have to serve 4 years right? If you are not a shitbag and you make yourself useful, then you CAN get out under the "failure to adapt" clause. You get a general discharge, and a thanx for yer hard work. Hardly an escape. Unless you got washed out or administratively seperated.
The military is what you make of it. For me, it is a great thing. I love it. If you did not like it, why did you join?
Military did plenty good for me. Maybe it did nothing good for you, because you were good for nothing? I guess you can't appreciate free room and board, and free college?
Causes pain and dark energy in the world? Is this dark energy the "force"? You sound very wise, master Yoda. I am VERY proud of what I do. Few people can say that honestly.
And if I ever kill someone in the line of my duties you can be SURE that that person needed killing.
Fuck me and my stripes? I have a feeling you are one of those high speed floor scrubbers that made A1C 3 times in your career. Probably got kicked out, and moved back home. I can guarantee you did not take anything out of your experience. You did not better yourself in any way.
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-25 02:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i was in the military, air force.
Got free and never looked back.
the military is a piece of shit.
does NOTHING good- only causes pain and
dark energy in the world...go
ahead BE PROUD OF THAT!
you piece of shit in a green uniform.
youre probably a SrA thinking you know it all.
fuck you! get out there and kill someone
and see how you feel about that after your
little dorm party. fuck you and your stripes.
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-24 18:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-12-24 17:37:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some seriously fucked up shit. God forbid you ever try to do something nice for anybody else. Unless of course you're doing it for a bullet statement, then they'll let you do anything you damn near want to.
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2003-12-24 16:12:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What's the matter Col. Sanders? Chicken?"
Dark Helmet, "Spaceballs"
Seriously, though, that is some bullshit. I work at the base gym here in Florida, and we set up the floor with tables for evac purposes, competitions, etc. Did you try the CAC? But anyway, you got it all set up, so there.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-12-24 15:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"captains and above wearing an all green ensemble. (elf)"
HAHAHA... are you talking about them wearing their flight suits? hahaha....
Anywho, I am an A1C and this is my first christmas away from home, I'm actually at work right now, and tommorow i will be at work, and even the following day i will be working... but i cant complain because i got to go home last xmas...
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2003-12-24 11:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Kudos to you!
I have been getting pissed off by this politically correct, non-denominational, un-religious, holiday bs. People nowadays look at you funny for calling "Winter Break" by its old name -- "Christmas Break". If you want to call it Chanukah Break or Kwanza break go ahead, I don't care... just let me call it Christmas break without looking at me like some kind of racist.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-12-24 09:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats bullshit about the dorm thing. Fuck if everybody was cool with, how the fuck could it offend somebody?!
Shit, even an atheist cant say no to a free bar.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2003-12-24 08:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cough, you are such a little prick... i hope you get deported to iran and get hung for saying "God" instead of "Allah"
you're the result of morons breeding with morons
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To cough only:
1. The job of the military is to kill people and break their stuff. We are actually quite proud of this fact, and are the best in the world.
2. If you do not like that, don't join. Call a soldier a babykiller to his face, and you will be put into your place real quick.
3. The reason we have to be good at killing people and breaking their stuff is because those people are in our way, and often want to do the same to us. Remember: WAR stands for WE ARE RIGHT. (Before anyone gets on a high horse about this, I will place a nice post in about 12 hrs. save your responses for that)
3. You are still just rambling incoherently. If you REALLY want to insult someone, try stringing your thoughts together in a coherent paragraph. I get the feeling you are anti military, but you have yet to state why. Oh, and you missed the entire point of the original post.
Submitted by ronnockeem (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:33:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't you mean "fukk America too?"
Submitted by ronnockeem (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That cough bitch flat out stole his last post. Therefor, his opinion isn't important, no matter what happened to him by the hand of some "nigger" when he was however old. I say we ignore him, maybe he'll go away. I kinda liked this post.
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and if thats america- then fuck america too
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
see you think youre clever.
but guess what?
you are not.
Go kill a country of brown people and shut the fuck, you patriotic-hypocrital- piece of shit.
Theres your "merry christmas I love the military" bullshit.
You just a hired thug- paid to kill people, yet you deny this, but your
denials are beneath you and I see thru you.
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-24 05:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cough, you do not make ANY god damned sense. How bout we use our own ideas instead of randomly posting proverbs and dumbassed quotes? Ooh that would be fun!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-24 05:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
don't worry about cough.
if you check the little assholes last post you see that he copied it all
Submitted by jordanna (user info) at 2003-12-24 05:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cough - You are an arsewipe.
Go fuck yourself. Sideways. With a razor.
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-24 04:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dude- Im not a puppet.
Its not a prison if you never check the door.
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-24 04:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And we are all puppets cough. I know who pulls my strings. Do you know who pulls yours? (If you say you do not have strings, it simply means you do not see them)
Submitted by Yogimus (user info) at 2003-12-24 04:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cough, could you please state a thought? Perhaps even a coherent one? I can't hear the voices in your head, therefore I am only getting half of the message. Mayhaps if you would write what you mean? Communication might take place.
Submitted by poop_monkey (user info) at 2003-12-24 04:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Feliz Navi fucking dad.
Submitted by cough (user info) at 2003-12-24 03:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
f
u
c
k
y
o
u
you are everything that is wrong in the world and i hope you will soon realize that.
go somewhere that is good. in your mind and body. stop being a puppet and start doing some REAL living.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-12-24 03:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck happy holidays, Happy Christmas.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-12-24 03:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Holidays, airman. Her higness, Queen Ashlee will send you cookies.
Submitted by ruin (user info) at 2003-12-24 03:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*salutes*
i considered joining the forces once, just after i had a complete nervous breakdown and had gone completely insane (aged 18) but i'm a cripple, some nigger slashed the hamstrings on my right leg when i was 9 years old and so i can't get in cos i'm a stumbling fukkin cripple...
thank god security gaurds get to sit around doing fukk all for hours on end, becoming a security gaurd saved my working life...
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-12-24 03:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oooh lookie what Santa is pulling out of his sack:
a +1.