The Retreat (807 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.88 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HendrixDDT<robinson.51.at.wright.edu> (View user info) at 2003-12-29 13:59:47 EST
I've been delaying this post until I had a good photograph to go with it, but since my asshole friend who was taking pictures on the day of the following events hasn't given me a copy yet, I will write the story anyway and attach whatever shitty picture I want.
A few months ago, I was pestered into going on a "retreat" to a campground with an engineering group at school. Now, I'm an engineering student, but don't let that fool you. I work out, enjoy going outside, and generally surf the net only while I'm at work. Although I'm experienced with differential equations, I'm also experienced with social interaction and the fine art of love-making. Surprisingly enough, the group of engineers that I went on the retreat with was full of fun-loving, athletic people much like myself. We had a couple former high school football players and there were even girls there (oooohhh...).
Now while we were on this retreat, there was also another group of engineers from my school going on a retreat. This group included your stereotypical anthropophobic computer geeks.
My group decided that it would be hilarious to steal all the mattresses from the B-team's cabins. Leading the raid, I donned my black outfit and we charged the cabins, only to find them empty. PERFECT! We cleared the cabins one-by-one until we saw headlights. The sociophobes had returned. Perhaps they were not afraid to go out because the sun had gone down, otherwise there is no way these kids would have ventured to the great outdoors. As my team ran back to our cabin, I decided to stay and watch the reactions. As I chuckled, I was spotted. I took off running, I was at a full sprint when suddenly, my head stopped and my body kept going. I was thrown into the air and landed flat on my back. I got up and continued running. Still wondering what the fuck just happened, I noticed that I was bleeding out the mouth. And there was a lot of blood. I walked back and found that I had been clothes-lined by a....a.....a clothes line. "DAMMIT!" I checked to make sure all my teeth were still in order, and they were. The only thing is that I had two huge cuts on the inside of my mouth from where the string had pushed my cheeks into my teeth. A couple guys from B-team caught up with me and I said, "Hey guys, wanna play a prank?"
As we walk back up to my cabin, I hopped up on one of these social retard's shoulder and got thrown into my cabin. There was a look of terror on everyone's face. B-team nerd number one yells out "That'll teach you to fuck with our cabins!"
"Just kidding!" I yelled as best I could. It was hard to move my mouth. I go to the bathroom and clean out my new war wound and get instructed that I'm going to need stitches. "Fuck stitches", the mouth heals pretty damn fast, and that it did. Within a few days, it had healed...just in time for Thanksgiving. Anyway, back to the story...
The next morning, I woke up with the taste of blood on my tongue, literally. My mouth had somewhat healed, but it still tasted like an open wound. I ate a few dry cheerios for breakfast and we all decided to go for a hike to climb a lookout tower that had the best view in the campground. Hell yeah! We walk for about half a mile and we get to the tower. With all my zeal for climbing stuff (I used to want to be a professional tree climber as a kid), I shimmied up the ladder at what could be considered a vertical sprint. Once again, my head stopped moving and my body kept going. I wasn't looking where I was going, and I came face to face with a piece of angle iron, well actually head to really thin part of the piece of angle iron.
That didn't feel to good. I grab my head, as was my natural reflex, and to my surprise I felt blood. I was on a role. This time, though I could feel my skull under the five inch long gash in my head. "Looks like I'm going to need stitches after all," I said with a fucked up smile on my face (remember, I was still battered from the night before). I climbed the two story ladder back down to the ground and asked my friend to take off his undershirt. He obliged and I led the hike back to the camp lodge. The nice guy running the campground let me hop in his car and we headed to the hospital. 29 staples and one tablet of pain killer later, I was on my way home.
That was the retreat from hell.
Sorry if this picture is nasty:
User Reviews
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-01-02 00:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eep.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-12-29 16:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That looks like a centipede.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-12-29 16:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree, Hamilton, that's why I wear a walking helmet now.
I peed in your pool, YAY!!!!
Jason
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2003-12-29 15:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember having something like that whne i was four...
And that's why bicycle helmets are good
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:24:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that's a hell of a scar.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ouch homey!
Submitted by hendrixjrr at 2003-12-29 14:15:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Luckily for me, I had just decided to cut my hair off about 3 days before. It didn't really hurt, it just pissed me off.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew you were secretly a tree-hugger. That picture is nasty - poor baby.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pranks piss me off, but since you pranked yourself with good humor, I'll "Worth Reading" you.
That looks like it really hurt! Was your head already shaved, or did the docs have to do it?
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
boring
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-12-29 14:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, talk about your bad luck...