drunken people (909 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <mikeyb.at.execulink.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-06 19:50:30 EST
I learned this trick from a former bouncer.
At last call they would try to clear all the drunks out of the local college bar. Nobody wants to leave, people are milling and staggering about in a drunken stupor.
Well the trick is to Moo ( like a cow moo ) them towards the door. Don't say move or excuse me. A simple Moo will do the trick. I guess to a really drunk person the expression Moo is universally understood as leave or get out of my way ? They are jacked into the drunken collective much like a herd of cows.
I seriously thought my buddy was bullshitting me about this " Moo thing " so the next time we went to a really packed bar I tested it out. 6 beers in and it was time to break the seal and have a massive piss. The can feels like it's 3 miles away, so I wound thru the crowd and everytime someone blocked my path I let out a low " Moo ". Amazingly the crowds parted easily. Thinking this was just a fluke I tried the same tactic on the way back and it worked again !
So next time your stuck in a drunken crowd and it's pissing you off try the Moo ! It really works.
User Reviews
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-01-08 21:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh yeah, and no sissy stabbing either. Full throttle, I'm-a-fucking-psycho stabbing. But be friendly. Smile. Grin even. Grin big.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-01-08 21:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know, another thing to do is to take out a large knife and start stabbing at the nearest flat surface. Without even having to be heard over loud club music, you can get people to part for you like the Red Sea.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-08 21:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will moo.
Submitted by MisterCeltic (user info) at 2004-01-08 21:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A word of caution, if you want to try this you need to go all out, no sissy MOO's, full on lowing like a cow, nothing half assed or it won't work. Years of experience have taught me that people are like cattle and they should be treated accordingly.
Submitted by misterceltic <misterceltic.at.msn.com> at 2004-01-08 21:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-01-06 21:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If you hop on one leg, wave your beer in the air and whistle the tune to Dad's Army backwards jesus will take you to the bar in his Civic.
Asshat
Submitted by otizzlebizzle (user info) at 2004-01-06 20:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, did you mean "Moo" or "Mew" cause there is a diference.
Submitted by canuckistan (user info) at 2004-01-06 20:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haha, my buddy might have told it too, he was the bouncer...I don't pay attention to anything for more than 3 seconds much less scroll thru days and days of Uber posts. Don't you people work at work ?
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-01-06 20:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate to be the anal retentive to point this out. But wasn't there a MUCH better post about this not so long ago?
Submitted by otizzlebizzle (user info) at 2004-01-06 20:04:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You think it has anything to do with the fact that "Moo" sounds an awful lot like "move"
Are you an idiot savant?
Submitted by DaMunk06 (user info) at 2004-01-06 20:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
.....No comment.
I have seen much worse.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-01-06 19:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
....it works because people are afraid of crazy people... and mad cows.