Don't grab my boob (3205 hits)
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Rating: 1.42 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by corn_nugget (View user info) at 2004-01-07 12:10:36 EST
While you're in Egypt, I have to go see the pyramids. Not only could I settle for walking around them like the 200 other tourists that day, but it was necessary to rent some horses and ride around the back.
Now, I'm a smart girl, and I know better then to rent the horses from the guys milling about by the pyramids. Too expensive!
We hop in a cab and go over to the stables, which are relativity close. I even have a story about them on here...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/19679
Anyway. These horses are in better shape then the others, plus, since it's not a tourist area, they are cheap!
Do I need to point out, right here, how cheap I am? The Egyptian pound (at the time) was 5 pounds on a dollar. Horse rental by the pyramids would have been about 75 pounds. Which is, what? I can't do math. But it's not a lot. Horse rental from the stables, that's 30 pounds.
After much ado, we get our horses and head out. A guy from the stable rides out with us, which is mandatory, I suppose.
My boyfriend gallops off ahead with mindless-macho-enthusiasm, and I'm stuck trotting along next to the Egyptian Stable Guy.
Was I worried? Not at all. The entire time I was in Egypt everyone was extremely polite, kind, understanding, friendly, et cetera.
"You Amereki? Huh girl? I love you.", he says between puffs on his cigarette.
I show off by responding in Arabic. "Na'am, ana Amreki"
He shows off by responding in English. "Nice boobs girl".
What?
"Eh?" I say. There's NO way that he just said that, Egyptians are kind, respectful!
"Ana iziea bezos!" He yells. What does that mean? It means "I want boobs!".
I try to kick my horse to get him to run ahead... I see the tiny outline of my boyfriend on the horizon. Oh, he went around a sand dune... I can catch up, though.
Ole Boy sees me try to start running. What's he do? He pulls his horse up to mine, smooshing my leg between them, and grabs my boob. Oh yes. He's a boob grabber.
I figure I'll bring God and his mom into it.
Let me spare you the translation and just give it to you in english... "Shame on you! God is watching! Would you grab your mothers boob like that?".
No, he wouldn't. Man I'm smart.
What's his next line? "Amereki girls likey sex, eh? Yes? You like boobs and sex, yes?".
I finally get my horse to run, and he runs alongside.
We make our way out of the desert, onto the road by the Sphinx. I feel greatly relieved because we have caught up with my boyfriend, no more boob grabbing or comments, yay! I'm safe.
No.
What does this fucker do?
The minute my boyfriend is ahead of us again he trips my horse.
Don't ask me how you trip a horse, but he did it.
The horse falls, with me on it.
A visual.
The regal Sphinx bathed in a golden light from the setting sun on the left... earthen houses with old men sitting on the stoops on the right. Little kids running around sucking on sugar cane... Stupid American Girl on the road with a horse on her leg. Stupid Boyfriend totally oblivious up ahead.
The End.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-16 07:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for boobies!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 20:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-06 20:04:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
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Why did you drag this post out of oblivion nearly a year later, just to give it a 0 No Comment???
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-06 20:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-08 22:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ryan wingham <www.ron.at.sympatico.ca> at 2004-04-10 16:32:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
your web site rocks the world.
***
Haha, I'm awesome.
Submitted by Kichigai (user info) at 2004-04-29 06:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-29 06:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Amereki girls likey sex, eh? Yes? You like boobs and sex, yes?".
~~~~~~~~~~~
You should have got off the horse and kicked him hard in the STUFF!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-26 21:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"They's black people. These are the folks who hold a job, are respectful and are indifferent to what shade of skin you have. Blue or White collar workers, it don't matter. Got they own money.
Then they's Niggers. They wanna steal your shoes, your hubcaps, and act nasty when you ain't even met them yet. You ain't like them, and they don't like you because of it. You owe them for something, and should "help a nigga out" "
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Nigger" actually just means a lazy person. It got attached to black people because when there were slaves, the masters called the slaves niggers meaning they were not working hard enough, however since "nigger" and "negro" were so similar, people began using nigger instead of negro. Basically it was just another way to degrade them.
What's the point? I know a lot more white niggers than black ones.
Also, this story was really funny, but you should have punched him in the face.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-04-21 16:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
if i were you, I'd have cut off his hand... that's how you get the message accross
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-18 02:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im sorry bout grabbing your boob, i thought it was the best thing to do at the time
Submitted by ryan wingham <www.ron.at.sympatico.ca> at 2004-04-10 16:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your web site rocks the world.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course it's better now, I'm single!
Ah, enough uber for today, it's time to go to work.
feel free to email me, kid... it's been nice using uber as a chat room. (ha ha)
corinnecorinne.at.comcast.net
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear that. (lies, his sisters, etc) Hopefully now its better.
*grin* don't mind me, its just because I need to get laid like 2 dozen eggs.
What?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God-Chicken,
I wouldn't say overseas EVERYWHERE the customer service is better... man, Italians are asses! heh. Anyway.
He treated me fine... extremely giving, money wise... was very concerned with making sure I was spoiled. He would do anything I wanted. Although he lied a lot... I mean, after we divorced, some of the stuff I found out was going on... wooowee... wow. He was/is a good man though, overall.
The problems arose when I told him, "You know, I'm not really Catholic... I don't think I believe in God at all.". Then it became "I can't be married to a woman without religion!". As far as HIS religion goes, he never pushed it on me, but his sisters did... thankfully they lived in Egypt, and I only had to deal with that when we went to visit them.
And thanks for not wanting to be related to me. What a compliment... heh.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*cough* just Mom's Georgia background coming out.
Married an Arab, huh? Honestly, as exotically attractive as some of the women I saw over there were, I can't say much.. but did he treat you well? They seemed rather straitlaced when it came to the notions of what women were allowed to do. Especially when it came to disagreeing with the husband. I think while I was in Bahrain, Saudi Arabia passed a law that said you were not allowed to beat your wife with anything larger than 12 inches or something like that. I know it was a law limiting what/how large an object you could use.
I don't think we'd be long lost relations.. at least I hope not. I'd be upset to find out that I found a relative attractive. (I saw your other post)
As far as the respect factor when overseas, yes, we do get a lot of respect. I think it is mainly to do with the fact that their idea of customer service is far better than our own, and that we can throw our weight around on top of a few dollars and get what we want.
They were, however, very kindly and respectful to the Western women in general. Unless they were wearing less-than-conservative clothing.
The funniest thing I ever saw was a group of 5 men FIGHTING over a Maxim magazine one of us left in the hotel lobby.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh...
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They's black people. These are the folks who hold a job, are respectful and are indifferent to what shade of skin you have. Blue or White collar workers, it don't matter. Got they own money.
Then they's Niggers. They wanna steal your shoes, your hubcaps, and act nasty when you ain't even met them yet. You ain't like them, and they don't like you because of it. You owe them for something, and should "help a nigga out"
**************************************************************************************
Having lived in ghettos before, its actually kind of sad how accurate the above comment is. My first week moving in, my neighbor(an amateur weightlifter and pretty much the biggest black guy I'd ever seen)saw me sitting on the porch smoking and brought over a couple of beers to introduce himself with. We sat and talked for a bit and he told me some about the neighborhood. Pretty much the first words out of his mouth were the above.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GodChicken I was raised with the same definition.
Blacks are A-OK.
Niggers are A-Holes.
The Egyptians probably treated you nicely because they figure if your happy and flattered by them then youll fuck em.
Thats at least how I think. But Im not Egyptian.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God Chicken, are you my long lost brother?
My parents said the same thing... and then when I tried to say, "Wouldn't white people also be able to be clasified as such?" I got a shrug, and a, "Corinne, it's not like that... you just don't know...".
I think it is generational for the most part. Where my parents aren't racist... I married an arab, they were fine with it. (also fine with the divorce, but hey). They love my friends (black/asian/whatever), but my dad won't hesitate to say, "That nigger!".
And, of course, it goes full circle... Me: "Dad, jesus christ, what's wrong with you, this isn't 1847, have some respect."
"Corinne, he's a nigger. There are normal black people and there are niggers, and he's a nigger.".
Half the time I think he does it to get an argument going.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Phinch: you forgot one.
Driving souped up Integras and Neons.
HAHA!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This plus two is for the food for thought brought on regarding the images that we sell to the world about americans.interesting.
asian males in american media are portrayed as one of two things:
1) Gangster.
2) Eunuch.
asian females: slutty exotic whores.
what this has to do with anything... i have no idea. i do know that i'm hungry and it break time.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn nugget:
My family brought me up with a rather fucked up definition.
They's black people. These are the folks who hold a job, are respectful and are indifferent to what shade of skin you have. Blue or White collar workers, it don't matter. Got they own money.
Then they's Niggers. They wanna steal your shoes, your hubcaps, and act nasty when you ain't even met them yet. You ain't like them, and they don't like you because of it. You owe them for something, and should "help a nigga out"
Yep. fucked up, huh?
Personally I don't care and I won't use the word.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Like I said, for the most part, being a woman in the middle east afforded me a LOT of respect. Being an American got me a lot more. Most Egyptians were very concerned with making sure I enjoyed myself, and had high opinions of their culture, country, and history."
That's the same impression I had when I was in Cairo a few years ago. And y'all are dead on with the media, unfortunately...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God-Chicken... yeah, I realize it's about the media.
I was showing my boyfriends family pictures of my friends, and many of my friends are black, and their reaction was, "Oh my! You are friends with Niggers?". They asked if that was a SAFE thing to do... if they had guns... if they had been in prison... how I met them...
This coming from a very educated, wealthy, intellegent family.
When I asked WHY they would think black people are so dangerous, the response was, "Well, they are! Why else would the movies always show it like that?".
Like I said, for the most part, being a woman in the middle east afforded me a LOT of respect. Being an American got me a lot more. Most Egyptians were very concerned with making sure I enjoyed myself, and had high opinions of their culture, country, and history.
That's exactly why this horse-riding situation threw me off gaurd as it did.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:46:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
montyham you are a fucking idiot, thanks for the laugh
Corn_nugget: wonderful post. I'm gonna grab your boob, if I ever run into you on horseback in Egypt. Watch out!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunately, that is the image I saw being portrayed to the arab public through the TV shows we export and show over satellite TV..
American women are slores and if you come on to them, they'll fuck you. End of story.
You should see some of the perverts I see coming online in IRC. "I look for sex. you talk to me now."
What are most of the internet porn sites? Written in english, and something like "Southern California sluts!" or "hot latina bitches from Miami!" things like that.
We sold the image. Sorry you had to deal with it.
Submitted by Mothyham (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:26:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's what you get for visiting a nigger country.
try scotland next time lassie
wake up white people
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pinch... when he saw me on the ground he laughed, and said something like, "awe, baby, did you fall?". To which I replied, in a fit of rage, "NO I didn't fucking fall, that fucker fucking tripped my god damn horse and made me fucking fall!!". He said, "Awe, baby, hehe, he didn't trip your horse."
Then in the cab, on the way home, I told him about the boob grabbing. Then he told the cabbie to turn around so he could go yell at the guy... but I vetoed that.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Egypt would be a great place without dirty scavenging Egyptians about.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what did the boyfriend do?
Submitted by Slopster53 (user info) at 2004-01-07 12:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe this happened. But I desperately want to.
Submitted by Arnold Schwarzenegger at 2004-01-07 12:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved the title.