Scooby-30 (9812 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrStrangeDhruv <bigdhruv.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-08 10:26:45 EST
They had finally built him. He was the most complex robot on earth - the only one with a brain like twenty calculators, with the latest microchip processor, with a vocabulary comprising the complete Oxford dictionary, and a memory at least three times the ordinary computer's size. He was made of stainless steel and aluminum, but all his finer parts were made of pure copper. He looked basically human, with a five-foot-tall frame, a slightly longish neck, two arms, two legs and a squarish head with two shiny purple eyes and a tiny loudspeaker for a mouth. They had put an emotion engine in him, which took almost five years to design by a team of thirty scientists and engineers, so he felt almost every single emotion in the human spectrum. He was an engineering marvel.
Dr. Fitzel and Dr. Sharma, who had lead the team of scientists, were now working on integrating him into normal life. They named him Scooby-30, and were taking the robot for a walk around a shopping mall, building up his experience and adding to his supercomputer memory.
They walked through the aisle of shops 35-55, which were mostly electronics.
"That's a stereo and home video system store, Scooby," said Dr. Fitzel.
Scooby-30 said, "Okay, Dr. Fitzel."
"And that store over there sells computers and computer software," said Dr. Sharma.
Scooby-30 said, "Okay, Dr. Sharma."
"This shop is mostly a portable hardware store. They sell such things as memory sticks and diskettes, which you use a lot in your body to function," Dr. Fitzel told him.
"Okay, Dr. Fitzel," said Scooby-30.
When they passed by the videogame hardware and software store, a funny thing happened. Scooby-30 stopped in his tracks. Dr. Fitzel and Dr. Sharma both looked at him. He was staring intently into the window at the screen into which a videogame was plugged.
"Scooby?" Dr. Sharma asked, "Is everything alright?"
"Scooby?" Dr. Fitzel said, "Scooby, are you okay?"
Scooby-30 was absolutely still. He was looking at the videogame. It was switched into demo mode and on the screen a well-rendered gorilla was jumping up and down wildly while running around collecting three-dimensional bananas.
Suddenly the steel head of Scooby-30 was flushing deep red. His circuits were heating up violently. A wisp of steam issued from the loudspeaker mouth and then it became a full-blown outlet of smoke. A heavy whirring sound came out of the robot's insides.
Dr. Fitzel and Dr. Sharma looked on with panic, then looked at each other. The robot was now vibrating, his arms shaking vehemently back and forth. The smoke was practically shooting out of it now. The arms starting clicking loudly against the steel torso. People around the stores stopped and looked on. They had heard of the robot from the news. What was happening, they wanted to know.
Suddenly the long neck started rotating, and the robot's metal face turned hot red.
"He's going to blow!" Dr. Fitzel shouted, in panic.
The shoppers screamed. They ran as fast as they could. Dr. Sharma and Dr. Fitzel ran. They went as far as they could, and stood with shoppers at either end of the passageway, watching the steaming robot.
"He must be reacting adversely to the electronic pulse signals from the video console's game engine!" Dr. Fitzel said.
Scooby-30's aluminum head was whirring around. He was heating up into a bright pink all over.
"Perhaps the video-screen has a negatively charged plasma mode from which the iodic pulse rate is contrary to his own!" Dr. Sharma said.
Boom! Suddenly a loud explosion resounded through the aisle. Huge billows of smoke filled the passage.
When they slowly began clearing, the crowd peered through to see what had become of Scooby-30. He was still standing. His head had stopped whirring, and he had returned to his original cool steel colour. The crowd held their breath. They sensed he was going to say something.
Scooby-30's purple eyes slowly looked up to the store window. "Damn," he said. "King Kong is HOT."
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-01-08 20:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-08 12:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've got a thing for robots.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-01-08 11:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was looking for a twist.
It never came.
But it was ok anyway.
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2004-01-08 11:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what
about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke
cigars?
-- Homer Simpson, on Heaven
The Telltale Head
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-01-08 10:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and well written, to boot.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-01-08 10:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha stupid but funny