Having fFun With Microfost Office (773 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.4 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-09 12:49:44 EST
Who said Microsoft office class couldn't be fun? I'm having oodles of it with the business letters we have to draft up. For some reason I felt the need to turn my high school into some sort of crime front. Here is my first angry letter to a local newspaper. The given scenario was to persuade them to publish events in our school. I "persuaded" them all right. Heh heh:
January 9, 2004
CERTIFIED MAIL
Local Newspaper Owner
President
Local Newspaper, Inc.
123 Fake Street
Fakeville, FL 32259
Dear Local Newspaper Owner
The students, teachers and administrative staff of BTHS would be very pleased if you would list events in our calendar listing. This would boost ticket sales of School Sponsored events such as athletic contests and games, club activities, field trips, band and choir contests and assemblies. Perhaps, if you help us we will help ($) you. Understand?
Enclosed with this letter is our current school calendar. I strongly recommend you print in your paper the current events happening in our school, or else. Remember, you scratch our back we will scratch yours. Or perhaps we will break it if you don't cooperate.
I know you will make the right choice,
Dan "The Man" Holland,
Representative of BTHS
Man, wasn't that awesome? Here is letter two, sent to a local CD store that goofed up my order. Bet he lived to regret it, fool. No one fucks with me.
January 9, 2004
Local Record Store Owner
President
Local Record Store, Inc.
234 Fake Lane
Fakeville, FL 32259
To The Owner Of The Local Record Store And Whoever Else It May Concern:
You may have heard of my exploits with the local newspaper. You know what they did? They stiffed my organization and me. They stiffed my school. I don't like it when people stiff my school; I know your rib cage won't either, buster.
I had some lackeys order a few CDs for our next dance. The package that came contained the wrong CDs. I am anticipating around 700 students to attend, and you expect them to dance to the garbage you sent me? I don't think so.
I'll tell you what. Since I am a man of forgiveness, if you send me my original order and wave me of all past fees I just might consider leaving you and kidney alone. If you don't you may wake up in a cold bathtub with a few holes in your stomach. Are we clear?
Do it for your kidney,
Dan "The Man" Holland
Organizer of BTHS events
User Reviews
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-01-09 16:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-01-09 14:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
worth reading
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-01-09 14:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not funny. Not even remotely funny.
Stupid is actually a good description.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-01-09 13:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-09 13:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to
fly home, then I will murder him.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart on the Road
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-01-09 12:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
darn typo in the title. I was rushing cause the teacher was walking by.