Battle of The Great Floatie (909 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.9 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fuckoff.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2004-01-09 17:00:17 EST
The beginning starts better then the end, things are simple when we start, to end is horrid. At first there is no wrong, but in the end all the mistakes have to be corrected, if not, happiness and piece of mind will be....NEVERMORE
We join The Great Floatie on this day, the journey is his, we are but along for the ride. Today he will lead his army, men among boys, into a great battle that will decide the fates of those to come for many years after the passing of The Great Floatie. He shouts encouragement while praising the warriors for their implacable stature.
"Today, for this day we will be remembered as the GREATS, as the ONES, as INVINCIBLE, we will succeed, we will change the world, we will live in infamy!"
The cheers sounded off; there was not a doubt in any mind of the success they would have at the break of dawn, every mind except one.
At this moment we join The Great Floatie alone in his tent, do not speak, one must not disturb the mind of man that rest in turmoil.
"What have I done, why am I here?"
"I know what lies in wait for the poor souls I lead"
"But how can I tell them"
"They must never know"
"But if I dare say nothing, then they will all be cursed"
"No one will be saved, life will end tomorrow. And tomorrow I will rest in HELL"
"I could tell them I'm a fool, but surely I would be slaughter in minutes for the treacherous acts I have forced them to complete"
"But if I keep quite, we will all be slaughter by the break of noon."
"What must I do?"
The chirping birds awake the hideous soul on the eve of the great battle. His soldiers have already begun to rustle about, within moments the columns will be formed and the mighty army will wait for The Great Floatie to lead them to their destiny.
Deathly white he strides to head of this great force, were he must give his last and final speech. The choice of topics are thin, to admit he is a fool and take his punishment accordingly or to go forth and lead the unwittingly force to their doom.
One last swallow before he determines his destiny, the end is here either way, he knows this. The question he must face is to either die by the hands he has created as a truthful and just man or to die with the rest as a fool that will live in the grace of everyone NEVERMORE
With his final command he seals what is left of his life into a never-ending torment of conscious revelations
"CHARGE!!!!!!"
Sometimes it's better to taste the knife of the enemy rather than the distrust of a friend.
User Reviews
Submitted by cuntlicker (user info) at 2004-02-07 17:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
because i read it twice
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-01-26 14:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-21 14:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the inspiration was ill intended...had a review that said to write a story NEVERMORE
Took that as a challenge not an insult
But after writing the story I figured it was intended to insult, neverless good still came
Sometimes the best things are found in the worse locations.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-01-21 14:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I thought this was going to be about those little plastic floatie arm things you wear when you're a kid and can't yet swim."
My thoughts exactly. Great vignette nonetheless. Anything in particular inspire that bit?
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-21 13:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad it was a pleasant surprise
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-01-10 19:45:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-01-09 18:45:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was goin to be about turds that don't sink. I guess it was a pleasant suprise.
"
me too
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-10 14:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked.
Submitted by cuntlicker (user info) at 2004-01-09 19:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-01-09 18:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was goin to be about turds that don't sink. I guess it was a pleasant suprise.
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-01-09 18:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice ending quote
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-09 17:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-09 17:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be about those little plastic floatie arm things you wear when you're a kid and can't yet swim.
What the hell, have a 2. I didn't actually read it through because it's the end of the day and my brain is already commenceing shut-down.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-09 17:09:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Something about this made it hard to read and not that good, but I can't put my finger on just what. I don't know where you were going, but the individual sentances contain some good stuff.
I really really like the last line though. The +1 is for that.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-01-09 17:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that was pretty good. Is there another chapter coming?