Et tu Ireland? (662 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.22 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Free Ireland (View user info) at 2004-01-09 21:51:34 EST
When I turn 18 the first thing I'm going to do is a Porn Layout. Think about it, it would be hilarious, me lying on a leopard print bed posing in an astronaut costume, or with whiskers and cat ears as a tiger, I'll be like "Growl!" and I'll wear a school girl outfit, alot of people think those are hot, but I'm not putting on the thong, I'm not a homo.
After I shoot the Layout, I will go Streaking, Good Workout, really Strengthens the Calves. I guess I'll hit the usual places The Mall, Walmart, The 7-11. I don't know if I should wear the traditional Nixon mask or go for the Ski mask look, whatever makes my package look bigger.
I believe that on my birthday I'll do a little gambling, nothing soothes pain better than losing a little money, rolling some dice, counting some cards, getting a dislocated shoulder from one of the bouncers, a few of the patrons holding me down while lighting my pubes on fire.
Of course I'm not going to work on my birthday... I'll call in sick:
Me: Boss, I can't come into work today.
Boss: Why not?
Me: I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener.
Boss: Oh dear god, boy. Why did you have it in a pencil sharpener?
Me: I thought it would be fun, Til Ron spun the handle.
Boss: How is that even physically possible to get in that hole?
Me: Don't worry Boss it was on the biggest setting. (Winking) I'm Winking.
Boss: I can't see you winking Moron! You're Fired, I'm going to make more money without you anyway.
Me: I'm not Fired... You're Fired!
Boss: No! You're Fired.
Me: But Dad! You can't fire me I'm your Son!
..Click
Oh well, I hated that guy anyway.
Finally, after a long day, I suppose I could possibly go to a rave or something....
Me: What's up guys?
Ravers: You want some X?
Me: No guys, I'm the Designated Driver!
Fast forward through the Pummeling, Oh Wow! I didn't realize that guy was stomping on my balls so much. Jesus, did he smear enough blood on my face.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sniper-Wolf (user info) at 2004-03-27 18:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Raves in Ireland? Thats the equivalent to Donald Trump trying to fit into a BET award show. White people look silly when they dance.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-03-27 17:51:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You live in Ireland?
I used to live in Cobh
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-01-10 00:11:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PropaGumby (user info) at 2004-01-09 23:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ, you are a helpful pineapple.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2004-01-09 23:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Before you hit 18, get into as many fights as possible...
That way you won't be tried as an adult... it's fun!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-09 22:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the Homo comment... and I liked the conversation... you have a good wink.
Although the end did leave something to be desired.
Overall, I chuckled. Twice.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-01-09 22:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"and I'll wear a school girl outfit, alot of people think those are hot, but
I'm not putting on the thong, I'm not a homo."
Lordy Jesus help me, I'm losin my mind!
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-01-09 22:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-01-09 22:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Im torn. I guess it was a decent effort. You are spared this day.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-01-09 21:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the conversation with your 'boss'.
The rest was shite.