The mailman: my muse (685 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jimbobjoe (View user info) at 2004-01-11 18:07:31 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=107352770961114947
Not the best I could have done, but I am at work only today this week...the ending needs work, a lot of work...any alternate endings would be much appreciated. The topic was a little off the wall though if you ask me...
It all started on a Saturday morning about six years ago. I was laying in bed hoping the girl next to me would awaken soon; the clock showed 10:15am. It was about time for me to go out into the world to begin my weekend of slacking off, getting high and playing hackey-sack, so I dragged myself out of the bed thinking a little activity might awaken Marissa. All that served to do was annoy her, she rolled over and went back to sleep.
I wondered at this point how to get rid of my girlfriend so I could get on with my oh so busy weekend. I had plans. Plans with guys. No girls, girlfriends or anything of the sort. We were to spend this mid June weekend doing very little that could be considered productive and even less that would be considered legal. There was a copious amount of good bud at our disposal and a spot at the park with our name on it. We had hackey-sacks and frisbies - grills and steaks - pipes, papers and one-hitters galore - and all that was stopping me right now from partaking in this fiasco of decadence, was Marissa.
Now how to get rid of her without hurting her fellings or starting a fight - this was a problem. I had no plan, no hope. My weekend was about to be ruined because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants for one stinking night. Bad penis, betrayal is thy name.
I go downstairs to start some breakfast, the standard morning ritual type thing, I check the mail and happen to notice the mailman walking away. He gives me a knowing look, one indicating he understands my problems inside somehow. I can't imagine this, the frickin mailman? What the fuck does this guy know about me that makes him look like this. Then I grab the mail and look at what he
has brought unto my household: bills, bills, paycheck - priority mail envelope? Who the fuck is sending me something priority mail? Oh yeah, I ordered some records about a week ago...
Records, YES!!!!! Thank you mailman, thank you for that look!!! Thank you Marissa for hating the music I love!!!! I nix the breakfast idea and start mixing with my new records, I turn up the bass real loud, knowing she hates this. I stay with it even though she yells at me, I pretend I hear nothing. I can feel her gaze boring into back between my shoulders, like a cicada killer boring into
a locust to insert it's eggs into the paralyzed body. I thank god that women are only venemous in nature and not reality. I glance back and notice she is fully clothed and leaving.
I acheived the goal which I had set out to do only because the mailman arrived when he did. That day the mailman was my muse. Marissa also dumped me when I arrived back at home Sunday night, saying something about something or other. It was fine with me as I was then free of the unnatural clutches of her vagina upon my penis. Or something like that.
User Reviews
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2004-01-18 19:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to spin Jungle/Drum n Bass.
I haven't touched a set of tables for quite a while now, probably about two-three years...
And you?
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-01-12 01:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22623
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-01-12 01:00:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a fellow dj!
what do you spin, man?
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-11 20:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
last two lines were funny.
Submitted by Fuck You at 2004-01-11 20:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not the best I could have done, but I am at work only today this week...the ending needs work, a lot of work...any alternate endings would be much appreciated. The topic was a little off the wall though if you ask me...
Way to start off so I expected to read a piece of shit. Fuck you, with a beginning like that I didn't even read this piece of shit. Fuck you asshole.
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2004-01-11 19:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Spike.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-11 19:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You could have done so much more with this. Not bad though, it's just that I sense your talent and know that you've got better stuff in you.
Don't knock your own work in replies though. Never apologize and never let people hear you criticize your own stuff. It seems ungracious when you receive a compliment to say "no, it's not really good", even though it might be true, or it might be true modesty. Just keep your mouth quiet when they praise you and keep it quiet when they rip you apart. "Thank-you" is the best response to praise, as well as to critiques.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2004-01-11 18:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah well, I wouldn't call it awesome, more like not bad. Maybe even mediocre.
But that's just me. Not my best work by far.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-11 18:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's awesome