Englebert Humperdink thinks I'm gay (1982 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Some of my best work
Rating: 1.44 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fat Tony <XGypsy.at.aemail4u.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-12 13:07:02 EST
A long time ago in Atlantic City, Englebert Humperdink is performing for a small crowd. There's 10
couples in our party. Husbands & wives are sitting together, we're all drunk, it's all fun. He's
singing some love song and next thing you know women are throwing their panties up on the stage.
Englebert is loving it and he's hamming it up for the babes. My wife & friends dare me to throw my
size 54" boxers on stage. Normally I woundn't but after 10 drinks anything is possible even for the
Pope.
I go over to the bathroom, drop my pants and remove my boxers. Return to the hall and sit at my
booth. The love song is over and my friends tell me to do it, I'm feeling a little hesitant then
I hear the word "Chicken". Tun tun tuuun! I walk up, Englebert is singing "Lonely is man without
love, every day..." I fling my giant boxers on stage, they open like a parachute on a drag racer
and Englebert is singing "Every day I start out.... then... I... hold on, stop, stop...." and walks
over to MY boxers and picks them up with the mic stand. "Who's are these (laughing)?" About 10
people sell me out and like a scared puppy I run back to my booth. At this point the band is still
playing the song very softly, but he's not singing. He then starts laugh and say "In all of my
performances in all my years, this has never happened."
Because I'm drunk and now I think I'm cool I yell out "I love you Englebert!" Everyone laughes,
then Englebert tells me "Yeah, I love you too baby, what's your name?" My friends yell out Tony and
then he starts to sing "Lonely is a man without love" and he's singing it to me and says this is
for Mr. Tony with the boxers, Lou would you come clean this up (laughing).
The girls moved up one two tables. I'm sitting at a table with 9 other guys. We kissed each other
on the cheek a few times (it's an Italian thing).
Englebert Humperdink think's I'm a fag. Why does this bother me? This story is 100% true.
Spell check this: yriah era sllab yM
User Reviews
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2006-11-14 19:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This deserves a B@W dammit.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-01-12 18:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The title alone merits a +2
The story was worthy as well
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill. Funny Englebert Humperdink bit.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i am too young to know who englebert humperdink is. but it was still sorta funny.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:33:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope your shorts were clean.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you know what really would've made him think you're gay?
You could've fucked him in the ass!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's wild!
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
was the name "Fat Tony" a give away for you?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-01-12 13:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My wife & friends dare me to throw my
size 54" boxers on stage.
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Your a fat fuck.