Who's yo daddy? (725 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.64 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <griffsrgr8.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-13 01:01:29 EST
For 16 years I thought he was someone else. Everyone in my family neglected to tell me that the man who was raising me wasn't my "real" dad. As I thought back to when I was younger, I realized there were some major signs that should have given me a clue. So either I was completely blind to them, or noticed them, and just automatically pushed them out of my mind.
In my baby book, only the mothers side is filled out. There aren't any pictures of me and Robert (aka Dad) untill I was about 2. Mom and Dad didn't get married untill I was four. Which I thought was odd. But my Dad was married before and had 3 daughters, and I was told they were just waiting for the divorce to be final. Which is understandable. These girls were always referred to as my "step-sisters" rather than my "half-sisters" or just plain sisters.
I started getting curious when I was about 14 or 15 and crazy thoughts were running around in my head. I was too scared to ask directly so I got into the boxes in the back of the closet. I always knew they held important papers, documents, shit like that. So I snooped. In one of these boxes was an old purse of my moms. It had a bunch of classmates senior pictures. As I'm looking through them I came across a picture that freaked me out. It was a picture of a guy who had features similar to mine. Mainly the eyes and mouth. Another thing that shocked me, was that this guy looked Hispanic. I looked at the back and it was signed, Love you forever, Emilio. My mom graduated in 78 and was pregnant with me in 79. I also found a very formal note, from Emilio to my mom, accusing her of being a bar whore, and telling lies that were ruining his reputation. The letter was dated September of 79, my Mom was 3 months pregnant with me at that time.
One day I just decided to say something, anything to my mom. It was driving me crazy. I honestly don't remember the exact words I said, but she left the house, my dad came home from work and told me story. My mom and Emilio were high school sweethearts, he started using drugs and started to beat her, she became pregnant with me, he denied I was his, they broke up, here we all are. It was also brought up that he wasn't Hispanic but Peruvian. I do have dark brown hair and eyes, but Robert has dark hair too so I never questioned where I got that. Mom is blonde with green eyes.
Anywho, I was pretty taken aback to actually hear those words. He said they tried to tell me when I was about 4 but I guess I didn't understand. What I do understand is that even though Robert isn't my biological father, he never once treated me like I wasn't his blood. He taught me how to ride a bike, swim, I watched him struggle to support me and my Mom by working full time and going to school for his bachelors and then his masters in chemistry so he could get a better job. He helped me with my homework, came to school programs, taught me the value of making sure something was done right the first time, and has helped me financially when I was struggling out on my own.
The reason all this is on my mind right now is because a couple of hours ago, out of the blue, he asked me if I ever tried to find Emilio. Supposedly no one knows where he his. I told him no, that he ain't shit to me, so why bother? Then I started thinking about it, maybe I do want to find him. Maybe I want him to look at me and see bits of himself. Maybe I want to ask him why he never wanted a paternity test since he didn't believe my Mom. I don't know. But what good will come of it really? Is it worth it to let him know I'm here, yet he's denied me for almost 24 years? I don't want to offend my parents or stir up trouble. I'm curious to hear his side if he would even talk to me. Should I call Maury? Montell? Or just let it be.
User Reviews
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-17 09:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you, someone.
7 months for you, what do you mean?
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-01-15 20:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
7 months for me to insane.
the only drug im into now is pot and the occasionaly binge drink.
Fuck all the other drugs, ive experimented quite regulary and intensly the last few years
and i threw in the towel. Lot of good life lessons to learn from it though.
Wait, this isnt a post about drugs??
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-15 18:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:29:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
How exactly are you kicking the smoking habit?
Never had Xanax. Your statement about the severity of its withdrawls pretty much confirmed the fact that I won't ever try it.
What was the Very Bad Accident, if you don't mind me asking? Doesn't sound like you just had whiplash or stubbed a toe.
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Sorry, I missed all these questions.
1. I am kicking the smoking 1 day at a time, and it is going very well. I have incredible will power when I want to and smoking just HAS to go now, I am so fucking sick of it. Chocolate has helped and chewing gum, but most of the time I have not even craved cigs. When I am not at work, exercise is THE BEST thing for it and I like to walk anyway.
2. Xanax will cause withdrawl symptoms if taken consistently for three weeks. If you want to TRY it, or take it even for a few days in a row, you'll be fine. I used to take it everyday, for a long time and it just isnt a good idea to stop cold turkey. VERY bad idea actually.
3. here's something about the accident: http://www.ubersite.com/m/7570 I can elaborate sometime if you like. That post sums it up.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-15 09:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you really have one of those?
CooL!
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob that phrase is disturbing on many levels.
1-I have a vagina.
2-Bob is my (step)daddy's name
3-I have a vagina.
But hey, it's still cool for you to say so.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
griffsrgr8's my daddy, griffsrgr8's my daddy.
just make it stop.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How exactly are you kicking the smoking habit?
Toblerone is muy delicioso.
Never had Xanax. Your statement about the severity of its withdrawls pretty much confirmed the fact that I won't ever try it.
What was the Very Bad Accident, if you don't mind me asking? Doesn't sound like you just had whiplash or stubbed a toe.
Powder and pills and injuries, oh my!
This post got off topic,
because Insanethemind is a cool guy!
Sorry, couldn't resist!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to make it rough on myself- quit multiple things at once. The not smoking thing is going surprisingly easy.
New vice? Chocolate.
Oh painkillers? I like them a lot obviously, but the drug I always went to (partly because I loved it and partly because it was so available to me) was xanax. Xanax withdrawals are fucking awful, possibly even worse than the D.t.'s from alcohol, if you can believe it!
Painkillers, thank god I never took them for too long.
I was in a very bad accident in Feb 2003 and was put on percocet for about two months, that's the worst it was.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was on a cet craze for a while. Perco, Endo, Darve. Endos were my favorite. Vic's were OK, I started to have to take more and more, so I weaned myself off of those. Tried valiums once, I wasn't too impressed, maybe they were just a weak dose. I've never dabbled in stimulants until about 5 months ago. Uncle Charlie came a knockin', stayed for awhile, then got kicked out.
But like I said, big check comin'.
Good job on trying the sober way of things. And quitting smoking? What's your vice going to be?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Charlie= cocaine. Just a stupid slang term.
Cocaine really fucks with my chemistry man, badly, as does meth, ecstacy, and just about any other stimulant. I've been into downers for awhile. Now I am on a trying to be sober kick, which is laughable probably to anyone who knows me from real life or has met me at any time. But, it's true.
I'm having real success, measured in day long incremements.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's been about a month. But I have a nice check coming up this week.
I'm thinking about it....
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was joking........sorta.
Uncle Charlie?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These days the only stimulant I like is chocolate.
Well, uncle Charlie did come for a visit on New Year's Eve but I think that's the last we'll be seeing of each other. We hadn't visited for some time actually, maybe 7 months?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cocaina= malo
But you're welcome.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw the program from their ten year reunion and he was listed as "unable to locate".
I've thought about nothing but this situation all day. I'm leaning towards not doing anything, I know it would upset people I DO care about. I don't think I would be satisfied with whatever story he might have given me anyway.
Insanethemind- I already gots me my own hook up for dat shit. But thanks for making me smile.
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If I was you, I would go to classmates.com and find your mom's high school class. You might be able to find him there.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2004-01-13 10:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know - I had the same set of circumstances happen to me: ie no photos, my mum and dad married two years after I came along... My dad was an asshole to me... I DREAMED that he wasnt my real dad, but I was put right and shown my birth certificate. I was mucho disappointed...
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 10:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Forget that last part. Add, "How are things?"
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 10:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmmm.
<cliche to follow>
"Follow your heart."
Seriously, if you are interested in talking to him, why not?
Plus, those Peruvians have some interesting concoctions containing the Cocaina, maybe he's got some uh dat shit!
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always tell myself, "Self. It's easier to get over the things we have done than to get over those things we never did."
It may be hard, but afterwards you can be at peace. It's closure.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Practical side:"Leave it alone girl. It's not worth wasting the time or effort on."
Overly Emotional side:"He's your blood...get his story."
Practical side:"Be realistic now. You have no idea where he is, don't upset your family"
Overly Emotional side:"Shut the fuck up you practical ass coward! Find him ! You owe it to yourself."
I knew I was going crazy.
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:16:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MickGinny? Maybe if I was a redhead.....
My practical side says to let it die, but my overly emotional side says otherwise.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd just let it lie. It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with your step-father and, to be honest, I really can't see your looking for this other guy having a happy ending. He didn't really sound like a medal winner 26 years ago, and hes probably bound to have slid downhill.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I... Have to tell you...
...your father is...
Mick Ginny.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-13 01:05:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
intriguing