Tampons laced with Morphene (1210 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fat Tony <XGypsy.at.aemail4u.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-13 02:03:56 EST
We can send a fucking remote control robot to Mars that digs and brings back samples but we can't
invent Tampons laced with Morphene! I would buy these for my wife and a few of my friends wives.
The commercial would be:
Man sitting on couch watching football game in his jersey & sweat pants.
Woman comes home with bags and says "Hi hun, I got the thing you wanted, where's the kids?"
Man looks at her and says "Thanks babe, I think the kids are in the yard"
Woman's head spins, she vomits pea soup, horns bust thru her head, 666 of flames in her eyes and
she yells out "BABE! What, I look like the talking pig from the movie! Eat sulpher! Muhahahahahaa!
Man then runs out da house and zips to the store and buys Morphe-ons, the Tampon laced with Morphene.
Zips back to the house. Woman mentions something in Aramaic then sees the Morphe-ons and goes to
the bathrooms where she knocks out.
Man is back on couch, holding the box and says "Morphene, it's not just for Junkies anymore!"
What man wouldn't buy those for his wife? What about the women? I can make them buy it by telling
them it's laced with Alum (to make it tight), Kentucky Fried Chicken (to make it finger lickin good)
and Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (to eliminate embarrasing oders).
If I take this to ANY pharmaceutical company, I'll buy & sell Bill Gates.
No, I don't spell check. I make mistakes and I'm proud.
User Reviews
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-02 22:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, this is a great idea.
Submitted by FleetEnemaBadass (user info) at 2004-04-01 20:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit. I'd eat those.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-04-01 19:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i'll take two boxes please.
Submitted by Velouria (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find it oddly ironic that I'm viewing the rates, and I see the name "Lord of the Strings" viewed beneath this post.
Submitted by Ass Masta at 2004-01-13 12:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some funny shit.
Submitted by dacygrl <dacygrl.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-01-13 12:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the part where she rips your dick off and shoves it up your ass when you offer her the Morphe-ons. You know us women hate it when you men blame everything on menstruation.
-Dacygrl
+2 cause its funny and anything to get rid of cramps!
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-01-13 10:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally!
Submitted by weenmaiden <saveusfromthegodofthundersaveu> at 2004-01-13 05:32:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, I'd use them, it would give me a nice break from the hassle of bleeding. Go here: http://www.tampax.com and submit your idea.
Submitted by Verbal_Assassin (user info) at 2004-01-13 05:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great. Simply a fantastic idea!!!! Bring on the ad campaign!
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-01-13 05:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Better put loren down for 10 cases.
Submitted by Lord_Of_The_Strings (user info) at 2004-01-13 04:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thinking about a similar thing the other day, do ya know the plastic tube thingy that the tampon is inside before the ladies put it in. I had the idea of making them ribbed---for her pleasure. Of course it would be a novelty item, unlike Morphe-ons because they'd make you one rich motherfucker
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2004-01-13 04:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fantastic, that is of course until all of the junkies start using them as surpositorys (erm fucked up spelling, to early can't be bothered)
Submitted by jibbah (user info) at 2004-01-13 03:02:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i fuckin agree, fuck that roofie shit, morphened tampons is the way to go!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-01-13 02:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At the next pay-per-view :
Fat Tony vs. Big Mike
The obesity battle of the century!
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-01-13 02:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a true hero of our time.
you can have different dosages from mild bitchy to super extreme heavy flow fuckin bitch.
Submitted by CowTipper (user info) at 2004-01-13 02:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are my hero.
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-01-13 02:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha!