It's Karma, Baby. (2195 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uber
Rating: 1.47 on 101 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by corn_nugget (View user info) at 2004-01-13 11:57:55 EST
We did it. Lana, Not_Apologizing, Herpes and I met up.
Man, those guys are WEIRD!!
Anyway... we have dinner and drinks... and more drinks... and more and more and more.
N.A. had way too much to drink, so out of the goodness of my heart I offered him my futon for the night. He lives over an hour away, I'm only 20 mintues away.
We're driving along 8 mile (okay okay, it was Michigan Ave... Detroit WUT!), and a cop passes me, going the other way. The cop pulls a U-Turn.
"Hey, Not Apologizing," I said. "Give me a cigarette, hurry."
He hurries and gets me a smoke... then he drops his lighter.
The cops turn their lights on.
"Fuck ME! Leave it... leave the lighter, Not Apologizing!" I said. At this point he's looking crazy as fuck, all bent over trying to reach under the seat as we're getting pulled over. "Leave the lighter, I'm getting pulled over, it's too late... just leave it.".
I pull over, and we both roll our windows down. First thing, the cop by N.A.'s side says, "What were you reaching for under the seat????". He says "My lighter". Cop does NOT believe him. He gets raked over the coals for a good 5 minutes about what he was doing under the seat.
The other cop tells me to get out of the car.
"Did you know you have a headlight out?" She asks. I give her a fake look of shock, "really?". Yes assholes, I know I have a headlight out. I'm too lazy to fix it, so it's BEEN out. Remind me not to drink and drive again until I get that fixed.
I got frisked and questioned... then she says "Come on back here" and opens the back door of the cop-car.
Motherfucker. Mother-god-damn-fucker.
I stupidly say, "You want me to GET IN!?". She looks at me for a second, most likely thinking of how stupid I am, and says yes.
I'm sitting in the back of the cop car for the first time in my life. The only thing I truly wonder about is how people FIT back there. I'm 5'3", and my knees were RIGHT up against the back of the front seat... if you're any taller you wouldn't fit!
So, like I was saying, I'm sitting in the back of the cop-car, and N_A's getting frisked by the two lady cops. He was loving it.
Then they search my car.
Then they walk back to the cop-car, and I hear two words. "Drunk" and "Yep". They open up the trunk, and I watch their reflections in the saftey glass between the front and back seats of the car.
Out comes the breathalizer.
At this point I've just resolved myself to the fact that I'm totally fucked. I start to dream of jail... I mean, I've SEEN that show, Oz... I'm hip to the script.
From my vantage point I can see very little. I'm trying to see what's going on without making it obvious that I'm wiggling around a lot. Although now I can't think of WHY it would be so bad to be wiggling around a lot, but I was going through great pains last night to sit still. I slouch down a bit to see what they are doing... they take the breathalizer up to N_A and make him blow. They talk a little. They come back to me.
"Corinne, you're drunk. We're going to arrest you.".
"ugh"
"Well, Not Apologizing blew a .03, so we're letting him drive you home. Will you ride with him so we don't have to arrest you?"
Okay, what the hell kind of question is that?
"Yeah."
As we drive home we're telling each other our versions of what happened... and then I question the obvious. Why didn't they make me blow? I wasn't acting drunk, I wasn't driving bad, I just smelled like beer. So, how'd they figure I was drunk? I wanted to turn around and find those cops so I could blow into the breathalizer.
*******
The moral of the story? I've got good Karma, baby! I'm nice and let N_A crash on my couch, and he saves me from going to jail. Do good, get good.
User Reviews
Submitted by Redrum (user info) at 2004-01-19 02:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wish I'd read this sooner. Proof that good things really *do* happen to good people. Keep up the do-gooding =)
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-15 19:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny, just yesterday I told Lana, "I'm surprised Uber hasn't ripped us all new assholes for camping on posts and chatting in uber."
She said:
Detroit WUT! We're thugs and we can do whatever the fuck we waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant! HOLLA!
She really did say that. I'm not sure what it means, but... that's what she said.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-15 18:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Got chat room?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-15 17:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
NA... don't expect any more compliments from me about my orifical-preferences. Yes, I DID just make up a word... Wut?
Chicken... March? I'll get your cookies ready... you can have them when you get back.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-15 15:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I still want my fuckin cookies.
It's official, I'm shipping out in march.
NA: dude your swollen man-globes are the stuff of legend. you should write about them. haha!
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-15 14:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey! how come nobody is saying "wow NA, you're so manly" or "dude, you're a hardass for blowing .03 after at least 8 beers" or "you're a bonafide hero" or "i've seen your big beautiful hairy balls and holy geez i want to lick them"
who knows? maybe I'll do the same for you in Florida!
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-15 11:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ThatOneGirl-
Want to go to Florida in March on our roadtrip?
snot_apologizing.at.hotmail.com
For details.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-15 09:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
;)
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-15 09:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bile is rising in my throat. Please, just get together, make the bukakke (sp?) film and get it over with. PLEASE!
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-15 09:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bob-
by sexy, i also mean to say freaky. as in, I am sure she works multi-orifice. Whoa, that was kind of offensive. Oopsie.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-14 23:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob... you're a sick puppy. You'd fit right in with NA and Herpes.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-14 22:54:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha funny...
damnit i was looking forward to them.
another joke.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-14 22:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where to start.
#1, Lana, you can NOT have God Chicken. He's mine. You can have um... someone else.
#2, God Chicken, we can go out on a hot date when you get E7, baby!
#3, NA, I'm sexy? oh la laaaa It's okay if you think my dog is sexier... I mean, you DID sleep with him.
#4, Bob, I don't REALLY have naked pics of NA. That was just my dream, manifested on Uber. He kept his clothes on while we did it.
#5, Bob, we didn't really do it, that was another joke.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-01-14 19:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.... there are other people in Michigan? I'm impressed...
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks asshole.. you just got me busted Ol' Beady Eyes!
I saw 3 Men and a Lil LaNa and I couldn't help but actually laugh out loud. My boss comes in "uhm - Alana - are you ok?"
hahahahaa!
I'm gonna make shirts!
~LaNa
p.s. sweet! I win godchicken! go me! *doin the cabbage patch*
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-14 15:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*sigh*
NA is soooo dreamy.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-14 15:08:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GodChicken-
She kept talking about you all night. Seriously. And stting next to her on the futon and smoking was the closest we got to copulation. I actually slept with her dog, and walked out in the morning with furry pants. I've never had to take steps before going home to cover up the fact that I slept with an animal.
Just too bad that you're only equipped with a cloaca! Give her a cloacal kiss.
corn-nugget is very sexy. I would choose that word over hot or cute or pretty. She's all those too, but sexy seems to be the most appropriate.
I am glad that a story with me as the hero is on most heated. I guess I get 'em hot!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-14 14:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ah ha! I see your game now, Corn Nugget.
It's ok, *sniffle* I understand.. NA's just closer and more available.
so I guess that means you gotta hook me up with LaNa now?
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-14 13:59:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Denied of 4 x 2? Damn. Well how about '3 Men and a Lil LaNa'? Goddamn that is funny. It's in reference to someone calling you a man.
Don't believe it fellas. corn_nuggette is 65% woman.
And thanks for calling me hot below. You're a lot nicer than Paula Abdul. She wrote a song about me once. Something to do with biology-specifically cold blooded animals with scales.
Submitted by bob at 2004-01-14 13:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why wouldnt i?
<<roar>>
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-14 11:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and you may be one of MY new favorite ridaz
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-14 11:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Herp- Quit trying to be pertentious... "Yeah, NA lived in Japan... well, I HATE WORK!".
We all know your secret. By the way, that crack post you wrote was bad-ass. You may be one of my new favorite writers.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-14 11:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate going to work. Work sucks.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-14 11:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't ask me out in public! You're going to ruin my game!
And no, I have to work today, believe it or not. 1-10... argh.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-14 11:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And on Saturday nites, I am a hot woman. Ok, I am a very masculine ugly woman.
corn-
busy for lunch? There's this great authentic mexican restaurant called 'ChiChi's' near my work.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-14 10:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
4x2, Snot?
I Veto the group name.
Bob... you really want to see his naked-whackingoff-contortionist pictures? Ah... of couse you do... after seeing his candid shot, it just leaves everyone begging for more. More with less. More pictures less clothes.
He is a hot man, Bob.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-14 09:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob-this is corn_nougat. But don't tell her she looks like a man.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22346
This is me (the male in the photo). But only look at my photo if you are ready to set a new standard for yourself when it comes to judging the looks of males.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22476
We'll take photos next time and show everybody the other two. I think that we'll have some pretty good stories to tell if we continue to meet up from time to time. I was labeled as 'fun to pick on' so that's what they did.
We already named our crew (OK, I did). We're '4 X 2'. What does four times two equal? 8. As in Eight Mile. Thug Life Detroit wut!
Oh, now I am going to go write a post about 8 mile.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome to ubersite, the newest AOL chatroom.
hehe.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 20:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sure. why not.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, we don't have pics of the other night... I forgot my camera at home (I was running a biiiit late), and Lanas battery died in hers... so no pics from the night...!
I have some nudes of Not_Apologizing... things got kinda crazy once we got back to my place... it's a long story... he found my porn collection... I woke up at like 5 am... walk out into the living room, and there's ole boy... sitting in front of the tv... and at first, I freaked out... but he said, "Corinne, you were bragging earlier about how you are a photographer... get your camera out! Please".
And I was like, "Not Apologizing! You dirty whore!" and I ran and got my camera... man, he's SO flexible!
Anyway, want me to post those ones?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:32:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
apparently i cant read. i thought it said specify.
post some goddamn pics!
please?with a cherry on top?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for teaching me how to count... heh... no, what I meant was... you want to see what we look like, specifically US... my picture is everwhere on this site. Well, not everywhere, but in at least three posts.
As is NA's.
Herpes, well... no pictures of him.
Lana... no pictures of her.
Just use your imagination!
Ahh, what a way to spend a hung-over day-off. yay uber.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 19:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you, lana, na and herpes.
4.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, the four of us, specificly? Weeeehhh... I'm honored that you care.
God Chicken... okay, what IS a godchicken doll?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wanna fuckin go to florida...
and i want to see what you 4 look like.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 17:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats funny. I have a voodoo godchicken. I shake it at the computer when I'm having problems with it.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snot... hah... yeah I do... rub it in. I still say that I would have blown under a .08.
And what are you saying? I have an old decrepit body? Ah, I'm crushed!!!
Don't believe him, Chicken. Don't do it.
Where the hell did I put my vodoo doll?
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
GodChicken-
She's not joking. She wants your body.
You see, hers is old and weak and dying. Her evil voodoo means her mind will live on--and live on in YOUR body if she has her way.
Corn-
You have to admit I am a hardass for blowing a .03 C'mon! Just admit it. I've got a bed...
I feel so powerful and needed. If I hadn't been there, you likely would just be getting out of jail! And to think, you were driving me because I thought I was too drunk to drive. How terribly premeditated does my side of the story sound? "Hey, I'm too drunk to drive. Can you give me a ride to YOUR place?" Then I blow a .03 All I'm sayin' though is 'hate the game'.
Savour your freedom lucky lady--you owe it ALL to me!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I was talking about cookies, too.
I thought you'd heard some rumor about my chocolate addiction, and what things I'm willing to do to satisfy it. HAHA!
Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me for real.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait!! I thought we were talking about cookies here, Chicken!
(ah, I hate when men see through me... yes, I want your body. Dammit. So much for being subtle)
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, the temptations and wiles of you wicked wicked women.
You're all out to get me, I know it. Fried, BBQ'd, Baked.. you women want my body any way you can get it.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chicken... Ah, the joys of living further east... it's 4!
That would actually matter had I had to work today.
Listen, you come here, I'll make you cookies. Or, I'll buy some.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want a big fucking stack of chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies.
Did I mention I'm stuck working the front desk all afternoon, and I want to scream already? its 1250pm, and I have hours left.
*sings* "I'm the man, in the box..."
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:52:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and Snot.. yes you drank more then that... you had at least 6 at Damons, then 4 or 5 at Sharks.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:51:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shay, yeah... even around here, I've never heard of them just letting someone go. And, really... I think I would have been fine if I did have to take a breathalizer... I guess I'll never know. I was absolutly shocked when they let me go.
Snot, ahh yes, I came home and slept until 11! Yay. But that's nothin' compared to Herpes, sleeping in until 2.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lucky you. If you lived in Mass. where I live, they would have arrested you if you were drunk (but they would have made you take a breathalizer) whether your friend was sober or not. They would have let them drive himself home and given you a free ride to jail.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up at 7:30 AM, but I did not go back to bed (unlike corny).
Do you think I drank more than 8 or 9? I am a fucking hard ass. .03 Wut!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The only wonderful thing about having no job and no responsibilities, is the ability to sleep in as long as I want after a long night.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hah, good morning, my little STD.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Detroit WUT!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:11:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've actually been tempted to try a dog treat.
They smell like beef jerky. But, if they are going to give me gas, I may have to pass. Pun intended.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
meow
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaoooooooohholyshithaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaI'mholdingmynosetryingnottolaugh
"Mimi the phantomfarter who eats cat food"
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm doing dishes! My apartment is 10% less messy now. If oooonly I had some cat food.
I'm hungry!
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a) It could be that I'm hungover and on DayQuil as well
b) It could be the fact that we are both GENIUSES!
I'm going for choice B :)
~LaNa
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It might be the Dayquil speaking...
But LaNa, you just made a helluva lot of sense there. And it cracked me up.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:26:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...it's all starting to fall into place Nat.
She happens to have an extra case of cat food laying around because that's all her diet consisted of - but alas - it gives her terrible gas. She's slowly trying to ween herself off of it which is why she gave it to you - but the cravings haunt her day and night. She now has figured out that if she wears it as perfume, she doesn't crave it any longer AND she doesn't have the gas.
Poor old lady....
~LaNa
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Phantom Farter! You have one, too? HAHAHAHAHAHA, NAT!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I must say, I've never played pool with so many people who suck at it. Usually I suck a LOT worse then everyone else... last night was the longest game of pool, ever. I think herpes was the only one who was getting balls in.
But you know, Herpes and Balls... they are like yin and yang.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We played pool last night? What?
*doing the Axl Rose dance*
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well at least it doesn't smell like farts in here for once! Someone periodically does the fart-while-you're-moving-and-no-one-will-notice trick. I couldn't figure out who it was until the other day. It's the tiny cute mild mannered quiet lady whom you'd never suspect! Hmmm..she also gave me a case of cat food for Christmas for my kitties....
Twilight music indeed....
huh huh huh she said yang
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:17:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
8 or 9 my ass!
WAN? Are you speaking Japanese again? Pretentious fuck. I think you just want to show me how to play pool. Didn't you ask Lana at one point about that? hah... didn't he Lana?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lana... I thought you knew about my Yang? Just ask Lisa and Glam about it... they're hip.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tomorrow huh? It's funny, but we actually have a WAN here in MONROEville, IN. So I can use the internet and shit. By the way, I got here at 12:45PM.
Anyways, I had about 8 or 9 beers last night. I have no fucking clue how I blew a .03 I wish I wouldn't have killed my former master, because that mind over matter shit really worked.
Next time we get together, we'll all bring cameras. We'll take turns posting embarassing photos last night, including my van Damme from Kickboxer dance.
Detroit wut.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...you have a Yang?
(couldn't resist)
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristin...
Lana is the Ying to my Yang.
I'm trying so hard not to keep doing stupid little inside joke things.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, but Corrine...
Nat and I are two sides of the same coin. Are you and LaNa like that?
If so, cue creepy Twilight Zone music...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nat... et tu, brute!
Lana is pretty fucking funny... that girl has me cracking up constantly. She's killer.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:02:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:40:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
I smell canned cat food. Weird...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I *love* Nat! She cracks me up!
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah gotcha, Chicken. Well I'm thinking about you anyhoo :) Sending good vibes and all that sappy stuff!
Corn nugget and LaNa, ya sound like some goofy chicks I'd want to hang out with. Goofy is good, m'kay.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey GC...
*BawK KawK*
>wink<
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
firewall keeps me away from msn, aol, yahoo, espn, and other extremly popular sites. they're all blocked. I can get on yahoo or AIM on my cell phone sitting outside on the park bench.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chicken... do you not have yahoo at work?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm around, Nat. I just haven't checked on Yahoo lately. I've got to work the front desk this afternoon, so it may be hard for me to prank call you at work.
Corn: yes, looks like I will be shipping. Things are starting to gel together and I should have details soon.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but....but....but....
I know kid rock!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:46:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But did you know that Not Apologizing lived in JAPAN??! He even got a TIE there...!
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
....but you did live in Egypt...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hah... the Not Apologizing evil hand thing? It would have been so easy to get him to dance last night... we need to go to a club next week.
Look at me, being all presumptious and shit.
Nat... no, you're right... it's nutty to drink and drive. When I was younger I used to get blitzed and drive, now I try to watch what I drink if I know I'm going to be on the road. After last night I'll probably not drink at ALL and drive. I was on the verge of praying to god in the backseat, and I'm not nearly as religious as Herpes.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:40:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that lil "I got there at 7" slide by.
...you should've heard what we were saying about you before you got there... mwhahahaha
*evil hand thing*
~LaNa :)
DETROIT WUT!?!? (ok - is this getting old yet?)
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh..well I won't say 'that's not so bad' or 'that's too much' because then I'll feel like I'm passing judgement on you or something! But you don't strike me as a dummy so...
I smell canned cat food. Weird...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nat... Well, to redeem myself a little... We met up at 6 (well, I got there at 7), I had 2 beers with dinner... and two more at the bar... and I didn't drink for a good hour before driving, which was at 130 AM... so, four beers in 6 1/2 hours... meh.
Four beers doesn't get me drunk... although .08 is a VERY low limit, and I've never breathalized, so, I may or may not have passed it... I'm not sure.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lana...
Of course I was calling him that. That IS his name, isn't it?
I have a theory on N_A's drinking. I think he was drinking, going to the bathroom, barfing, et cetera... all night. Then he was like, "Ooooh Corn_nugget... I'm sooooooo drunk.... WhatEVER am I gonna Doooo?".
He's a player.
heh, I can talk so much shit, cuz he's not gonna see this till tomorrow!
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
CHICKEN! Where have you been you naughty little chickie, you? I emailed you...
As an aside and nothing personal, but I hope all who drink and drive end up wrapped around a telephone pole without taking anyone else out in the process. I know, I know, I'm a sweetheart!
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...wait a second...
You're saying that we're weird and you're the one who keeps referring to him as "Not Apologizing"... even in your car?! You referred to him as that so much that even the cops picked up on it?
DETROIT WUT!?
The greatest mystery of the story is - how the fuck did he blow a .03 when he out drank all of us?
One will never know...
~LaNa
*the queen of the dorks*
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're getting shipped off, Chicken?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 13:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Godspeed, Godchicken.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As far as going to florida.. I've made mention to the organizers that I'd be happy to come.
I cannot provide details here as to why I most likely will be unable to make it. Looks like I'll be putting on a uniform again.
Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Michael, talk him into going to Florida... we've gotta meet him.
Hear me, God Chicken? Did you hear? You WILL go! I'll even drink and drive you somewhere!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr. Boo... Yeah, that is what saved me... They asked if I was high, because "You're acting very strange", and I was just like, "No, I'm scared... I'm not used to getting pulled over and stuff...".
It's true, to an extent... I'm very lucky when it comes to getting pulled over. I really did milk the "I'm a stupid-white-girl" angle quite a bit though... telling them, "Of course, you're more then welcome to search my car!".
I really don't think I was drunk. The legal limit here in Michigan is .08. When I was sitting in the back of their car I asked the cop how much I could drink to be legal to drive, and she said that because of my size, if I have more then two beers I'm pretty much fucked.
I AM lucky, there's no way I could have afforded the fines and such associated with a DUI.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna meet the chicken!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Insane... Are you having an anal fixation today?
God Chicken go to florida... We're thinking about renting an RV- that is, if N_A pays for it. Lana will drive... The rest of us will sit in the back and drink.
For a nominal fee of $2000 we will come and get you, too!
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's amazing at how some cops can be good guys sometimes. I've had it happen to me on a few occassions, where I was totally fucked up and cops let me drive home. I have been very lucky and so were you! I think the secret is to treat them respectfully, they like that shit.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did too, J, I did too. How was/is work?
Submitted by Scrawberry (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:13:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sit on a pineapple then
---------------------
i winced! ouch!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha! Insane, that is the best! "I let N_A fuck me in the ass.."
Corn_Nugget: glad you guys had a good time. There are all sorts of little mini-ubermeets going on these days, aren't there?
doesnt anyone want to meet the Goddamn Chicken?!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The moral of the story? I've got good Karma, baby! I'm nice and let N_A fuck me in the ass, and he saves me from going to jail. Do good, get good.
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What? I thought he was married, or something?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sit on a pineapple then
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What happens in Detroit stays in Detroit.
No Photos!
Ha!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where are the fucking photos of this event?
I want to see what these people look like, "Herpes" especially.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-13 12:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think if they had given you a breathalyzer, they would have had to arrest you if you blew whatever it is that is illegal round them parts. To think that the police would consider NA a responsible adult scares me almost as much as the thought of you driving drunk.
+2 because if Razor sees this, he's going to freak out