be careful what you ask for. it may suck. (1049 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.57 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by El Guapo the Great (View user info) at 2004-01-13 14:50:32 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22413
Have you ever seen a porno where theres the pool guy and some hot pornstars drag him into some kind of kinky 3 way? and then some jackass comments on how he'd "Love to be a pool guy"?
Next time your friend says that, slap him. Slap him hard enough to knock some sense into him. Because the realities are far from the fantasies. I know this because i was "The pool guy" for about 5.5 years. I started out on a cleaning route and then worked my way into doing repairs after a year or two in the business.
Just to dispel some myths:
You don't get laid. You don't walk in on naked people. Much. (and when you do most are so unattractive you'd wish you hadn't.) In fact, in all the years working on pools, I walked in on:
1. a weird swedish guy brushing his pool. naked. fortunately he was in the pool at the time, but seemed to not seem to get why i didn't want to come in until he put some clothes on. freakin europeans......
2. a very old, very ugly 40ish lady topless. i had nightmares from that.
3. a rabbi's daughter and her boyfriend skinny dipping. she was, of course, ugly as hell. and they sicced the damn dog on me (read: killer standard poodle that had been plotting my destruction for years)
4. a fairly attractive woman in her late 30's who had locked herself in the backyard. in her bra and panties. she threw a can of Off at me since apparently i should have psychically known she would be back there.
5. a hot tub with some fat, rich, fat (yeah, he was that fat) old guy and two strippers who were topless. ok, so that one wasn't bad, but the really funny part was that I was training a dude on his first day. I tried and tried to explain that that NEVER happens, but he didn't believe me and was jumping out of the truck and rushing into the yards almost before i had stopped.
so instead of hot porno sex and naked women you get:
a job that has you outdoors all day. sounds fun? try saying that when it's 108º outside and it hasn't been under 100º in over a month. or when it's 25º and sleeting outside. Or when it's raining hard enough to start flash floods. and on and on.
you also get a physically demanding job. lifting heavy equipment, carrying it in and out of people's yards all day. (ok, so this part wasn't all that bad, but really sucks in combination with the weather.)
you are exposed to chemicals constantly. in the years i did that stuff, i was nearly overcome with chlorine fumes twice, burned with acid several times including once where both of my hands were covered in chemical burns.
since you are working with tools in often very confined spaces, you tend to cut the shit out of your hands all the time.
you drive a LOT (ok, that may be a good thing for some people, i however, hate driving)
so do your buddy's a favor, and knock the crap outta them when you hear them say they want to be a pool guy.
User Reviews
Submitted by The Guapster <nononononononononon> at 2004-03-09 16:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have become but a dream.....
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2004-02-14 02:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude! where the hell have we both been?
Submitted by shoegaze_crysanthemum (user info) at 2004-02-11 15:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
while im intrigued by nudity amongst males, im not intrigued by someone who calls routine maintenance of a household installation "the business."
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<<womp,womp>>
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-01-13 18:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dreams...shattered...can't...go on...
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
now THEY get the action!
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wanna be a pizza delivery guy.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That Chick looks constipated.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-13 15:04:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
Me likee the chickie.
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be a pool guy!
Submitted by Velouria (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I had a pool guy. Then I could brag I had a pool. *sigh*
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 14:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you get those pictures???
Thanks for reminding me, I need to call the pool guy myself...*cue Porno music*