appologies to the hyperactive kids mother. (863 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.71 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SammySam <LWSamways.at.AOL.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-13 21:10:32 EST
Today wes my second day of school. How can it be that I'm already stressed out, pissed off, tired, and in a huge fucking rush everywhere I go? Oh wait, I know why, it's because I spent my whole Christmas break studdying for the three finals that we get as soon as we get back to school. Today I finished my second final and was pissed, after class I headed to my local Starbucks, since nothing clams me down like a high dosage of caffine.
I enter the Starbucks and immediatle notice the line ending near the entrance to the oversized coffee shop. I stand in line trying to be patient, but I've got things to do dammit! And the last thing I need to hear is the constant babble from a little shithead child, and the returning plea from a mother who is at her wits end for her little shithead child to behave.
"Stop it."
"Come here."
"Don't do that."
"No you cant have that."
"Jason get over here right NOW!!"
"Sit still."
"Behave"
These are all statements that I heard the mother whisper to her little shithead son Jason the whole time that I was waiting in line behind them. Why couldn't Jason just behave? Why must he touch everything? Why must he run in circles? Why did he have to have an endless jabber that made me want to staple his little lips shut? Why couldn't he just stay put and behave like his nice little sister? I came to one final conclusion; this little shithead must have ADD, possibly ADHD even, that has got to be the only reasonable excuse to his behavior.
Finally I get to the front of the line and order my choice of drinks. I'm a big person and I need a lot of caffine to stay awake, and something that can satisfy my sweettooth. I order a Venti Mocha Frapachino, with three (count 'em three) extra espresso shots.
"Did you want whipped cream on that?" asked the coffee girl (this girl was beautiful, had the longest lashes I've ever seen, but thats a whole other story.)
"Yes, please." I reply, pay the girl and then go stand by the counter where the drinks come once made.
Blah blah blah, a bunch of other drinks, where the fuck is mine?
"Venti Mocha Frapachino" the man yells.
Oh thank god, I grab it and head out the door. I'm sitting in my truck and preparing to leave, I look up and notice my little shithead friend Jason with his mommy and his little sister leaving the store. Then I realize my mistake as soon as I noticed in Jasons hand was a Venti Mocha Frapachino, I thought mine tasted a little weak for having 3 extra shots. I look down on the cup and read not only the name "Jason" but a little "X" in the box marked decaf.
"Oops" I thought to myself as I pulled away. I could have stopped and maybe saved the mother hours of trying to pull her child off the ceiling but figured "where's the fun in that?"
All I can hope for this poor poor mother is that Caffine has the same effects of Ritalin, Lady if your out there, sorry.
User Reviews
Submitted by HappyNappy <AfroJazzer.at.aol.com> at 2004-01-26 00:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just when I was about to give up on Ubersite I come across this. Thank you, you have reinstalled my desire to come to this site.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-01-16 15:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that'll be the last time she gets him anything Venti sized.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-01-14 14:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You want to know why he acts the way he does. Because his mother coddles him and gives him whatever he wants. Only spoiled brats get Venti Mocha Frapachinos
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-14 13:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaaaa hehehehehheeeee
As I was nearing the end of the story I thought, "Oh yippee, another stupid pointless rant about how kids are so awful. And this one's ending is just going to fizzle out." But oh NO it didn't!
Hope little Jason doesn't have a heart condition. Caffeine make little heart go ka-pow.
Ugh...well I WAS giggling...
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-01-14 13:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yea she didn't hit him but I was about to.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-01-13 23:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahhaaaa
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-01-13 23:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is fucking great man, I give you props for that. +2
Submitted by fr33d0mrulz (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome dude...
but damn...the mady must ahve it hard enough...
+2 for it being funny
-1 cuz the lady had it bad...
+1 cuz that kid must have had some retarded side effedts
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<snicker>
oh man thats great!
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CertainlyCynical (user info) at 2004-01-13 22:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That mother couldn't take care of her kid, she deserves to have a caffeine jolted problem child now. I appluad you for your mistake.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I have spent the entire day studying for my finals, and I could not have asked for a better break than your story.
I bet Jason had a fun day...
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
she'll probably just give him a valium when they get home....
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
read below response
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA, I don't know if I should say "serves her right for not hitting him" or "I'm glad she didn't hit him in public, but the effect of that coffee is going to drive her to beating him after a couple of hours at home"
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-13 21:16:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!