Chain Link Fence Part 2, Chapter 1 (535 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tak (View user info) at 2004-01-14 15:13:06 EST
Part 1:
Chapter 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22616
Chapter 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22679
Chapter 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22737
Chapter 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22838
Interruption #1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22949
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
~Second Chain Post~
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
~Ceyanne & Agragon~
Chapter 1:
"The Discussion"
It was the quiet scrape of skin on skin, it was the full stare of her eyes; it was the violent contrast between the cold outside, forming frost-feathers across the windows, and the heat between them; here, inside. These things and a thousand others filled their entire bedroom, the air even, making it damp with longing, turning it into a being itself, made up entirely of, and completely dependent upon, the energy created between their naked bodies.
He loved these days. Rare as they were, they were a treasure. With both of their lives being already filled out and scheduled, it was hard to find time where they both were off. But God, when they did....
There was something almost evil in it, it was so good. Never had he been so impressed upon, so overwhelmed with another human being. Even his mother, who formed the axis upon which his life spun, couldn't top the relationship he had with Ceyanne. She was everywhere to him, in everything he did, all the things he took, and all the things he gave. She accompanied him no matter where he went, even if she wasn't with him. But of course, that is the essence of being in love. And he was in deep.
Lying face to face on their queen-size mattress, their legs tangled, they brushed their lips together dry, and ran searching hands over warming skin. Agragon walked his hand down a lazy path from beneath her right arm to the swell of her hips and back up, painting with fingertips the canvas of her side.
"Mm. Killy-killy," she breathed, her nick-name for what Gon was doing with his hand. There was another thing that ran him over about her, always creating, always creative. She was so childlike in her openness; ripe to say anything, and if there was nothing to be said, she'd make it up.
Continuing on the path, his hand ventured a bit farther down, between her thighs, and she opened them for him, exhaling deeply with his touch. She moved against his hand, adding to the damp warmth already filling the air around them. Their lips now tangled, tongues dancing around one another, she spoke through the kiss.
"Gon.......please.......now, please," and so the afternoon was spent.
********
Afterwards, they lay on their backs, watching the smoke from his Camel drift up to the ceiling and hover there, content with the cobwebs. He pursed his lips and shot off a few smoke rings, trying desperately to conceal the shit-eating grin that had been threatening to remain on his face for the past week. Since his side-trip to Kay's Jewelers, he'd been almost giddy. He couldn't wait to see her face when he finally got down on the one-knee and popped the question. The decision hadn't been very hard to come to, but the money had been. For four months now he'd been saving, working overtime at Belle Hope, the same hospital he just happened to be keeping his cancer-ridden mother in. Although he didn't like the idea of keeping his mother in a rest-home, the fact that the place was like a second home to him too kind of evened it out. The pay wasn't very productive, and it had been hard waiting, but he'd finally gotten the ring on Monday, and now his anticipation was almost too much to bear.
Shaking his head to clear the fog, he butted the Camel and looked over at the tears streaming down her cheeks and to her chin, leaving splotches on the sheet she had pulled up to her neck. Funny, she never covered herself up in front of him.
Presently, she began to speak.
"Gon, we need to talk about something. I don't exactly know the best way to go about saying this, so I think I'll just say it."
She sat up, wrapping her half of the sheet about her, crossing her legs Indian style beneath.
"Do you ever feel like going out with someone else? No connections or devotion, just going out, like, not a date though, more like just seeing people? I don't know. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. It's like I have no identity, nothing unique, I'm nobody."
"Ceyanne, of course your somebody," he tried to interject. It was as if he didn't speak.
"It's just that when all that shit with Jerry and Shane happened and me and you started talking again...I don't know. I question the real reason why I came back... was it because we had put so much time into it? I think I've put too much of me into you, like I sacrificed who I was to make up for the pain I caused you. I know it must have been hard on you; it was hard on me. But now I feel I've lost myself through it. It's like I have no time for me, for the things I want to do."
The sides of her face blushed. She would not look at him. Something very interesting seemed to be going on in the far corner of the room. Something only she could see.
"There's a lot of things I want to do that you don't like, and so I don't do those things, and I know, you don't tell me not to do those things, you always say-'you do what you do'- but don't you see that I feel I have a responsibility, a duty, an obligation to you, in love, to hold back things like that?"
"Ceyanne listen..."
"I don't know. I've just been thinking about how young I am and...how young you are...and how it used to be before...how it could be ahead. The way it feels to have someone else interested in me. Someone other than you. I think I may need some time."
Her head lifted at this, her confidence rising as she found her groove.
"Alone. To sort things out. To get myself sorted out. I need to figure out who I am. And what I want. I don't think anyone can help me with that. And if this is what I have to sacrifice in order to gain myself, then so be it. It may seem cruel and harsh to you now, even ridiculous, but I hope one day you'll see it the way I do. I guess it could be looked at a million different ways, and I'm not sure that any of them would be wrong. I'm not even sure of how I feel, or what I'm doing."
Eyes back to the corner.
"But I think I'm right when I say that it's not selfish to be selfish sometimes. And right now I need to be. Maybe we could still see each other, I never want to lose contact with you. I always want you in my life. But just not right now. I can't explain it any better than this because this is all I know right now. But I must do something. I have to build the foundation for "my world". I don't know, there's just too many bad memories between us. I've hurt you so many times."
She reached out and took his hand, squeezing. She didn't seem to notice how pale and flaccid his grip had become.
"Maybe in the future, we could make it work, I'd love to try, but right now is a different time. I can see myself being happy with you, in the future, but right now I can't ever see myself being happy at all if I don't do this."
Her eyes met his.
"I hope you can understand."
Her words hung in the air, and the room was unnaturally quiet in the passing of her confession. Gon just sat there staring at her, his mouth slightly ajar, wondering what hole in the blue she had pulled that one from.
User Reviews
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-01-15 21:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome as usual. I'm hooked.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-15 17:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-15 12:55:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
The conversation was very real-life, I guess the worse happens when the best is anticipated.
Nah, guys just don't listen to women too well a lot of the time. This chick's got her reasons, he's just blind to them. Just like real life.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-15 16:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TaK,
Thanks for the heads-up, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. My opinion is just that--my opinion, and I try not to be completely unrealistic about things. Well, I won't say anything else until I read the rest!
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-15 15:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome dialog. very realistic.
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-15 12:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The conversation was very real-life, I guess the worse happens when the best is anticipated.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-15 12:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-14 18:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Another "by the way":
You will most likely not be happy with the way Ceyanne's character turns out from what I know of you so far.
This is what I'm refering to:
"The sexualization of the severed head of a woman, while it was a kick-ass description and excellent writing, bothers me just a bit as a feminist"
I'm not ribbing you, just letting you know that what lies ahead was not written as a description of all women, only A Woman that the fiction sprung from.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-14 18:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah SpikeGoddess.
I'm beginning to like you. Your right, I intentionally skipped the one thing that would give me the biggest opportunity to further explain why she is doing what she is doing. There is reason in it, I'm sure, but I'll be damned if I understand anymore than you.
To explain, I will reiterate that which I have already pointed out in a reply to your on going serial fiction piece:
The truth is in the fiction.
At least I believe it should be. If the fiction seems screwy, or in the least confusing, it is because the truth it grew from was even more so.
Also, I want you wondering "what the hell" right now. It all lends it's hand to the story.
Thank you so much for reading this. You, Phinch, and Brickhouse have so far been my small audience, and it is much appreciated. There is much more to come. I know from lurking that fiction goes over on Uber about as well as poetry (http://www.ubersite.com/m/20197) most of the time, and it is nice to know I have at least a modicum of support. Before I posted Chain Link on here, only two people had read it, and they were both close to me. It's good to get some stranger advice.
By the way, the novel is not finished; I have not written on it in about a year. Posting here and having people I've never met give me good feedback has convinced me to continue to the end.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-01-14 17:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The opening description is beautiful, and I love the word "ripe" being used in connection with her.
I'm as clueless as he is about why she said what she said when she said it. This is the actress in me speaking, but why did that come out after the sex and not before? Was it something in the sex itself that intensified her feelings of losing herself? You skipped over the actual sexual encounter, which could be a goldmine of opportunities to show what's going on in her head through the language. You don't have to be explicit to do it. Then again, maybe you want us to be clueless for now. :-)
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by mothy ham <hezikiahjones.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-01-14 15:45:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
evry1 elss's suk utha than min
Submitted by MmmVag (user info) at 2004-01-14 15:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Freakin depressing, good style though. Why are relationships always so depressing?
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-14 15:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry, the mushiness doesn't last long.
Yay! I got the previous chapter links right this time!