Quit Smoking! 100% Guaranteed! (799 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-14 15:53:10 EST
Can't stop smoking? Afraid you'll die of horrible lung cancer? The gum and patch just suck?? well theres one definite way to quit smoking and best of all ITS ABSOLUTLY FREE!! and... even better ITS GUARANTEED TO WORK!!! 100% of people quit while using this method. Now like everything it does take a little self disapline and can leave a few little signs and people may stare at you but hey at least you'll be able to run more than 35 feet right?
ok here it is... The absolute 100% guaranteed best way to quit smoking.
step 1. smoke cigarrete (this may seem the opposite of what your trying to do but this part is here to reduce those craving by indulging in them)
step 2. but cigarrete out on yourself. (yes thats right take that but and shove it right into your arm it'll hurt but not nearly as much as lung or throat cancer.)
step 3. repeat until you say FUCK!! I dont want no damn cigarette god damn i QUIT!!!
thats right YOU"VE QUIT!!! You've beaten the tabacco companie4s congratulations and your scars should heal rather soon too.
User Reviews
Submitted by hafguitarist6767 (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha ok theres probably some confusion about the cutebassist reply here haha
its my g/f she just found out about my uber contributions and was a little upset haha oh well
yes i apologize for the spelling
Submitted by CuteBassist (user info) at 2004-01-15 08:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think even I have to agree with everyone else. I AM WHITE!!! I AM ALSO INDIAN!! YOU ARE HALF WHITE!!! what is wrong with you lately?!
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-01-14 21:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I just know you substituted cigarettes for dick.
Have a nice day cretin.
Submitted by tweeter (user info) at 2004-01-14 17:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
too bad you didn't have the "self disapline" to check your post for spelling.
Submitted by LabRat (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How bout I just keep smoking...? Seeing as I have no desire to quit. If you wanna live till yer 98 and shitting in depends, then have at it.
Submitted by MmmVag (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 cause its funny enough to not deserve a negative rating
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If the rat pushes the petal, gets cheese but gets shocked, it will push the petal until it decides that cheese isn't worth pain.
Theoretically.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the real way to do it is to put the cig out on your tongue and then swallow the butt. if you actually do it consistently, your mind and body learn that the behavior is unpleasant. it's psychology. tough to follow through, though...
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:12:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-1 for spelling, +1 for the idea...hmmm. Maybe I *should* quit smoking.
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-01-14 16:00:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Would have got a +2 if you knew how to spell.
Submitted by imnotcrazyyet (user info) at 2004-01-14 15:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like it. Now if only people would actually do it!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-14 15:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd rather butt them out in your eyes.