Mrs. Baker Wrote Me a Pass to the Rest of My Life (800 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Redrum<redrum420.at.zoomtown.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-16 12:52:00 EST
Today, I was scheduled to take my 3rd bell exam as a senior in high school. Since I'm graduating early (they've done learned me my edumacation), it was the last exam I would take. Ever. Well, until I start at UC in the fall, but don't remind me about that right now. Anyway...
I got to class about thirty seconds late and saw my teacher in the hall on the way in. "Don't ask for whom the bell tolls, James, for it tolls for thee". Smug bitch. She'd had an attitude with me all year and I was very happy that this would be the last day I'd have to take her shit with a smile. Little did I know just how much of a ball-busting bitch she would be this day.
I got into class and sat down at my desk, doing the usual pre-exam ritual of digging through my pockets for a pencil. I pulled nearly everything from my pockets (even about two dozen of those little plastic things that are sometimes still in the handles of gallons of milk -- thanks work), but no pencil. I looked around to see no friendly faces save one: that of my friend Adam.
"Adam, you have a spare pencil, bro?"
"Shit, she didn't say this thing was scantron. I'm screwed here too."
No one in the class had a spare and no one seemed willing to do the right thing (or at least I've always thought it to be when other people were in the shoes I was now filling) and break their graphite stick in half. We each had no choice but to go with the last resort: Ask the teacher.
She'd always had an attitude with the both of us and this day was no different. In the past she'd answered such sincere questions as "How much is this test worth?" with comments like "It's worth everything. If you pass, I'll sign your diploma and write you a pass to the rest of your life." As I said, today was just another day. "Nope, no pencils here. You're seniors, you should've came prepared." Good thing I didn't have a pencil, it made it much easier to restrain myself from plunging it into her aorta.
She told us that we'd just have to use the bell as a study hall and fail the exam. The class had been cake even though both of us slept through it (probably the main reason she had an attitude, but whatcha gonna do?), so we didn't need the exam to pass. We both don't like messing with our semester averages though, we have transcripts going out to college in a few weeks.
I sat down and heard the graceful sound of "Pssst" and a nudge. It was my buddy Mike who'd chosen to show up for once in the semester. He pulled out a small stick of lead from his mechanical pencil and told me I could use it. He did the same for Adam. I scavenged an eraser shaped like a flat soccer ball that my friend had given to me the day before as a joke and broke it in half. Adam and I were set.
The only hard part about the exam was the fact that we were both laughing so hard we couldn't concentrate. We were threatened with being asked to leave a few times before we finally got our giggle fits under control.
After about 50 questions on the scantron, Mrs. Baker walked over and set something down on my desk. It was a nice new pencil. The bitch had been holding out on us the whole time. I picked it up and lobbed it over to Adam, thinking he needed the exam more than I did. He did what I didn't expect and snapped it in half, then rose to go sharpen his end. The teacher just sighed and said "Well that was pretty stupid." I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes; Adam didn't realize that I'd tossed him *her* pencil! He just smiled and said "Yeah, but stupid things are usually pretty funny" and stared right at her. That got me laughing even harder, but I think I'm the only one who caught that he was implying she was stupid.
We finished the rest of the test pretty quietly, but when it was over Adam walked up to her and asked something that I thought the whole class had forgotten. It was less than a minute until the bell would ring and he asked her with a completely straight face: "Could you write me that pass to the rest of my life now?"
The bell rang and we all walked out laughing. Hard to believe it, but I just might miss that place.
User Reviews
Submitted by Freeman at 2004-01-16 18:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not having a pencil sucks...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-16 14:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Normally I would -2 this on general principles, but it's Friday and in a moment of weakness this actually made me smile.
There is not enough money in print to get me to teach high school.
Seriously Quartermain, if I could be convinced that there was a God, I'd pray for you.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-01-16 14:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Its friday, have a 1.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this story. Too bad the people in your class suck too much to share...
Submitted by LucidCognition (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How is this not getting flamed? It says high school...
Ehh, it was worth reading mate.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a smug bitch.
Jason.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe... I liked it. She sounds like an utter bitch.... go you =)
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As sad as this is, I found this an entertaining walk down memory lane....
Submitted by Redrum (user info) at 2004-01-16 13:04:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I ramble a lot. I like it, and that's all that counts to me =P If anyone else enjoyed it, that's great. If not, they can find better.
Thanks for leaving me for the real hyenas, Phinch.
Submitted by cf7 at 2004-01-16 12:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good story.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-16 12:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
amusing in parts, wandering in others.. id give you a zero, but this will get shredded by the others, so plus 1.